Seungkwan puts his arm around Vernon. It was a long day and it was almost over. He was glad he could finally be beside the person who always gives him energy. He squeezes his shoulder, a form of affection, as if telling him he worked hard today and perhaps that he missed him. The latter will remain unsaid, however. Seungkwan turns his attention to the other members and keeps with his cheery self. He leans to see what the others are up to, his foot suddenly slipping off the stage. In that instant, Seungkwan’s heart skips, his breath frozen in his throat. He looks at his hand, a warm strong grip, a familiar feeling, a hand he often held when he was in his teens, a hand he often sought when he needed comfort, when he was nervous, when he was lost in his melancholic thoughts, a hand he wants to keep for himself, a hand that holds his heart. A tear brims on his eye, the sudden realization resulting in a hurtful squeeze in his chest. He blinks and grips the hand, lifting himself up the stage.

“Hey, thanks.” He quickly says, his hand still on Vernon’s.

Vernon releases his grip, Seungkwan’s hand is left hanging lose beside his own thigh. His fingers instinctively reach out, searching for that familiar warmth. Seungkwan quickly moves his hand to his coat, busying his silly fingers. He interacts with the members, distracting himself from what he was about to do. The fans wouldn’t mind, he was sure, but he was too nervous. He was afraid he might not be able to pretend he was holding his hand playfully, because it was the only way he’d be allowed to do such an intimate act in public. He might just slide his fingers with his and savor the moment. He was afraid what expression he would make when his little heart will dance in joy with Vernon’s hand in his.

Seungkwan turns, expression silly, his eyes catching Vernon’s.

Vernon looks at him, his eyes almost ogling him, as if he’s inspecting his expression.

Seungkwan’s heart nervously pounds in his chest. Was he being too obvious? He thought. He slides his eyes elsewhere, trying to avoid the other’s probing.

“Are you okay?” Vernon asks.

Seungkwan shuts his mouth, his silly expression turning serious. Vernon was like a hawk. It was no use pretending around him. He puts a hand behind Vernon’s back, and pats him, as if saying he’s alright and that he was thankful for the concern.

Vernon turns his attention to the audience and to the members, his body stiff, as if he was mentally stopping himself to do something to Seungkwan.

Seungkwan’s hand slides off Vernon’s back and hits the boy’s hand. Again, his heart stops, that little warmth is all he needs to make himself feel better, to gain more energy to deal with the rest of the day. He withdraws his hand and distracts himself with the member’s chatter, Vernon in his eyesight. His heart pounds, his breath shortens, his hand reaches out as if it had a mind of its own. Seungkwan retracts his hand and holds it close, his other hand gripping his arm. He nervously nibbles his lower lip and looks at the throng of fans watching them. He grips his hand into a fist and nibbles his lips, his smile turning into a frown, his tears almost his eyes. He was at the brink of breaking down, his body tired and his heart running low on Vernon’s warmth.

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A bit of an angsty post because Smile Flower hurts my heart. I was going to continue writing the next chapter of Jealous but Smile Flower came on and I remembered this Verkwan interaction. I hope what I wrote somehow matched with what they were doing! Haha! Thanks for reading! :)