the Italic was memories

You are to beautiful to lie

You are to kind to lie

You are to perfect to lie

Even i know your lie , just why i keep believe everythings you said ?

Ten

--

Why you always made me a bad person here

Why you couldn’t pushed me away ?

And why i couldn’t let you go ?

Why you must still believe everythings i said even knew that i was lying.

Taeyong

“Taeyong where are you going ?”

“I have to work”

“But you just get home”

“I’m worked for you too”

“But can you just here for one day , you didn’t got home for a week and just want to go again?”

“What’s up ten ? are you a child , did i must accompany you everyday?” Taeyong took his coat and walks towards the door left it with load bang.

“Be careful taeyong”

Tears shedding in his already pale face.

Again.

###

“Taeyong stop it” He feel pain in his body , in his heart , in his mind.

“Stop what ?”

“Do you think love that still made us stick together ten?”

“Taeyong stop , it’s hurt” , he feel pain spread all over his body especially in his hands  whom handcuffed with the head of the bed since last night.

Plaakkkk

He felt his cheeks was burning once again , he trying to not crying but it’s hurt to hell.

“Answer me ten , do you think love that made us still together ?”

Taeyong asked ten again , now the latter sat on ten stomach which made the smaller crying in pain because the latter had punched him there before.

Miracle , miracle

“Miracle that made us still together” ten crying he can’t do this again .

Taeyong let go of ten , he open the drawer besides the bed to pull out the key to untie ten wrist. It’s already midnight exactly two days ten had been laying helplessly in their bed , taeyong would carry ten wherever ten want to go somewhere which just to go to bathroom.

“I’m sorry , i’m sorry babe” he kisses ten bruises wrist . he got up from bed and closed the door . a few minutes later ten heard the car engine slowly going further.

Ten is dying.

###

This is a beautiful lie

My last lie

Even if it hurts to death

I am hiding myself under a mask for you

‘This will be the last time , i promise’ at least it was he thought when he saw who is coming in front of his door a while ago.

And now seems like he regret everything about the last time thing , because he ing miss him , he missed the latter but what can he do if the latter who is push him away at the first place .

“just go lee taeyong”

“ten don’t do this , we can figure it out”

“go”

“ten”

“taeyong , there is someone waiting for you at your car”

“no ten” taeyong trying to reach ten’s hand , ten take a step back.

“i’m fine” ten give his best smile , at least he tried but it turned out to a sad one in taeyong’s eyes, he bit his lower lips hard until he can felt ranced taste at his tongue , he keep looking anywhere just to avoid meeting gaze with the person in front of him , he was sure the second if he ever landed his gaze to the other he will break , break his own walls .

He averted his gaze to his foot , feeling cold along with his heart . his body, his feeling , his mind was tired . tired to always lie . to always lie to him , and lie to himself . he promise this will be the last time he met him , this will be the last time he ever open the door for the latter . it’s hurt , hurt to death . he trying his best to avoid the latter,but why the other didn’t want to cooperate even just for once . just why the latter came to him when he's the one who broke ten’s heart . who broke their promisses.

‘it'll be the last time. I promise.’

“ten , im sorry ok. don’t do this”

“hyung , can you leave ?”

“ten , please babe...”

“hyung , we know it didn’t work like we used to”

###

I see myself in the mirror and I ask myself

Will it really make you happy if I let you go?

I’ll throw myself away completely because you need quiet time to yourself

Did I say those things without even meaning it?

As I replay your face when you screamed go away

I’m tainting our memories that were beautiful

I haven’t imagined a life without you yet but please be happy

So that at least my lie can shine

Ten looked at his reflection at mirror , pale face with messy hair , his bangs touch his eyes , he could tell that he lost weight , he almost forgot when the last time he ate properly after he left. he touch his lips where the latter always gives him kisses until they lost of breath , he touch his neck where he often find the latter Ieft mark .

He's fine , if the latter fine so he just had to know if taeyong really happy if ten let him go, but the latter sudden action before made him think what he was doing actually , he recalled all that happened before , the time where they still together.

Ten pov

sometimes holding in is more damages than letting go , I have to let you go , I know that is all you need . i’m fine , i’m not lying . thankyou for giving me a beautiful memories even it isn’t last forever. please be happy.

You are the one who pushed me  , your the one who didn’t want me anymore , your the one who screamed me go away . i give you time, maybe you just in the hard periode of life , or just met the other that makes you forget whatever we doing for the past year .

I never thought , i’m the one who letting you go. I don’t even know how to live without you at the first time . don’t love anyone too much , you’ll  hurt yourself indeed. But if it made you happy i couldn’t deny it right? So please be happy..

I’m letting go of your tightly held hands

But my heart is still the same

But I’ll let you go

You never lost your held for me , but why is hurt so much . your tightly held hands like brought knife to my soul , pouring salt to my wound . i had try to keep you , to held you back but you don’t want me again. aren’t you hurt ? because it’s fcking hurt to me to remember everythings that we had together , so I just let you go , I know that you could be happy without me even I’m not sure with my self , could I be happy without you?

I’m fine , i’m not lying.

I’m letting go of your hands

But my heart is still the same

I think it’s best for you if I end it right here

We must end it here , like i said . you’ll be happy even without me.

This is a beautiful lie

My last lie

Even if it hurts to death

I am hiding myself under a mask for you

It’s alright if you leave me

I want you to be happy

Oh I’m

I’m a beautiful

I’m a beautiful liar

In our random talked before sleeping , you told me once that i could be an actor because my skill in acting was so good , i could wear anything mask to cover what’s my true feeling. and you still couldn’t figure it out what i’m thinking though. Am I that good at hiding or just you who’s blind with anything around me?

You keep smile and tell me that i’m the most beautiful person you’ve ever met . the most precious things that you must keep .