i've been working on this for like 3 weeks and i keep changing my mind so Whatever hopefully next chapter will make more sense?

She thinks, at some point, it must have become an addiction instead. She did it so often that when she didn’t, it was almost unsettling, like the feeling of forgetting something that wasn’t enough to worry about, but enough to make her itch. It turned from a need to a want. Byulyi didn’t know why she never thought that touching Yongsun would turn into an obsession, because really there was nothing preventing this development.

The cameras? Only their fans paid attention to those, and they didn’t seem to mind.

Their coworkers? They were probably more tired of how grossly cute they are than actually bothered by it.

Yongsun?

Yongsun stopped her sometimes, when it was too long, too real, too much for simple complacent comfort. Yongsun’s hands say don’t go too far. Byulyi’s hands ask what is too far? She somehow knows the limits she’s tested very well.

Ten inches above the knee on her bare leg, fingers only barely dipping inward.

Right in the center of her neck, and never high enough to reach her jawline.

Pressed to her ear, but always with her hair as a veil.

Fingers laced, but for no more than a few minutes.

Same thing with their hugs, don’t hold too tight, don’t stay too long.

(At least Yongsun doesn’t stop her from looking, so she stares as much as she wants. Byulyi has a hunch that Yongsun likes the attention anyway, when she turns to make sure Byulyi is watching.)

Byulyi can think of a number of reasons why Yongsun stops her, but it probably boils down to just one thing.

People are watching, people are watching, people are watching.

Sometimes at night, when they’re sharing a bed, Byulyi moves her head as close as she can to Yongsun’s, her lips only ever grazing, just to test what it would be like to actually go for it. She runs through scenarios in her head where she kisses Yongsun’s lips, and it makes her feel like her chest is going to implode.

From a need to a want and now she feels like she needs it again. She’s suffocating out in the open, and it’s probably because Yongsun takes her breath away.

Byulyi didn’t know she had it in her to be this childish until Yongsun. She’s well into her twenties, they both are, yet she can’t help acting cool, or being greasy, or being a little mean, all the while exuding a notice me notice me notice me aura in the hopes that

That what?

That she would turn to look. And she would get it; it would all click into place. She would understand all the coy smiles and the summoned confidence and elaborate gestures and the constant attention and the smoldering looks and she would get that I like you.

I need you.