Dear god

How I would describe

That how much I hate this town

There's no Kai here who I could easily recognize just by looking at his body,smelling his scent. I couldn't even recognize anyone by first look,even twice. My dad,my mum. My sister. No. It's only him. He's special.

It's been a week since he's gone. This town felt lonely,the rain in the spring felt lonely and empty. The flowers that spread on the ground with a clear cloud shining sun. It's a shining rain that send by him for me to not feel really deserted by his leave. But I couldn't walk out from the house letting the rain drop on my body. My mum said I will catch a cold and a fever. She don't know that rain is important and special. Kai loves rain.

2011 is a year of emptiness. It's not a good year indeed. I walk out from the mattress which I was lying on since this gloomy morning. I went to the window,my eyes placed on the milkman that came with a bicycle. He's wearing a black cap and  wore a  grey shirt and a T underneath. Is he the same milkman as before?. I can't tell. Seems like he's waiting for someone take the milk by the stair of the house. Why would he?. He just need to left it there and went to the my neighbour house. Mrs. Jung who's a window with a grumpy cat she kept since I was fifteen as I recall. Mrs. Jung have a curly short hair that appears as big as hornet's nest. She's old stingy woman who keeps taking care of her plants and always sitting on the sofa in her living room that obviously could be seen by the window of the bathroom in my room.

I put the jacket on my body since I'm wearing a sleeveless plain T and it's kind of cold. It's cold here,even in the summer for me. Surrounded by old big trees and there's windy beach. It's kind of five kilometers from my house. I get warm when I went to Kai's home. I love it there. It's warm there.

I fastly walk out from the room and passed the living room,my sister is there sleeping in front of the old TV,the present from the village chief. He's surely kind guy. Never have a long conversation with him tho. But he's like a home to everyone.

"Why didn't you take the milk? The milkman is waiting," I told my sister and she seems confused before she opened her eyes wide and run to the mirror next to our family's picture in the frame hanging onto the wall.

"I'll t-take it," she's blurted out words and running through the door,I sneak through looking at my sister approach the milkman who's kind of startled by her sudden appearance. He standing tall while pulling his shirt down by his hand secretly. Is he uncomfortable? I can't tell. Kai never did that to me before.

I feel bored and went to the landline phone,should I call him? But it's going to be expensive and my parents couldn't afford the bill. I should just wait for his letter. He told me,he promised to send me one. Should I send it to him first? I smiled and running to the room. I took the white blank paper and a ball pen,I sat on the chair and put the paper on the desk next to Aloe Vera that I promised to take care of.

Dear,Kai

It passed a week in this old lonely town. Me too feeling those emotion through mybody when you're not around. How's Tokyo? Can you adjust your taste bud to Japanese food? Have you ever met Sasuke? Do you still remember I told you he's as handsome as you?. Already had Okonomiyaki? What it taste like? Oh Kai,I really miss you and it's true. I hope I could visit you there,but you know I'm not allowed to go anywhere beside this town. But I really want to go to you,Kai. And there's one more thing I want to tell you,I love you since we were four,since you let me drew your face and I love everything about you. My notebook are full of your name,dearly.

Sincerely,Jisoo

I cried as I wrote it. I miss him. I let the confession put on the letter,if he have the same feeling with me,he will come to me soon regardless the fee of ticket or anything,he have a bunch of money,I believed. I shaked my head. He's studying hardly and I should be patient,he will come back soon,it's not like he never come back. But,he should keep in touch with me and it's already one week without any news. I secretly take my sister's perfume and sprayed it on the paper,leaving a good scent. He would love it. I cautiously folded it and put it into a white envelope and write out the address on it. I put it into the sling back and walk out from the house. Screamed to my sister to told the parents that I'm out for doing some matter.

I'm walking to the post office that kind of far from the home. I take the bicycle and ride it to there. I could ride it when I'm thirteen. It's dad who taught me and Kai encourage me. There's car on my left knee when I'm practising on cycling. Glad it's not worse because I fell on Kai. He injured and there's a long scar on his arm. He said,scar left an identity to us. He told me to not cry over it. He such a sweet person.

To recall,this is not the first time Kai left this town. He went to China for a few weeks because of exchange student program. I could endure it because I knew,it's only a few weeks and there's other student went to and I felt it safe. But this time,it's going to be years. I'm worried. He might ended up living there as he could be offered to work there and leaving me behind here.

I still remember the first day of we met. It's in the kindergarten. I cried so much and the teacher couldn't even comfort me. To be true,I'm always be alone in house and Mrs. Jung will take care of me since my sister is in elementary school while my parents both of them are working since we're out of money. Always. The parents rarely at home. Mrs. Jung would look out of me while watching television and put me in the big besen and a doll made by a towel. She scared of touching me. She said I'm squishy and wet and also soft like a tofu,she said she might broke me into pieces or make me melt. It's weird.

It's not like I'm missing my parents or scared of be apart with them like other kids. I'm scared of those fellow,I can't see their face that keeps changing like my sister's mood swing. They are new and I couldn't tell who are they. The teacher didn't help me out. The parents didn't even have intention to told my problems to the teacher since they might freak out of me not being normal,that's what I think. Or she's actually doesn't want me to feel weird. When I went to high school the town spread by the news I have face blindness and people tease and make fun of me a lot.

As I cried and teacher was fed up,there's a boy with a blue T and gave me a crayon and drew his face with it all blue with my hands. He said 'I'm water monster,I'm living in a sea and will eat you!'. I'm annoyed by him and drew all his face with other colour. He kept silent looking at me drawing his face. I couldn't see his face. It's full of colour and he seems really warm to approach me. His face is colourful and he keeps talking about monster and ultraman.

I arrived at the post office and there's a red box. I take out the letter and suddenly there's like a fast figure passed me. And that unknown thing snatched my letter from my hands. I got a chance to grab his arm and he turned his face but there's no use,I couldn't see his face and identify it. Or at least I should listen to his voice but he kept silent.

"Hey!".

He ran really fast,I sat on the bicycle and start chasing him but he went into the wood and I can hardly cycling in there. I want to chase him but I tripped and fell on the ground and there's blood flowing from my knees. It hurt and I'm crying. My letter was stolen and I'm injured. The letter of my confession is there. I can't make everyone read my letter. As I crying over this matter I suddenly felt someone's hand on my face and suddenly it's dark and I'm breathless.