“stop texting mingyu, will you?”

“i’m not texting him,” wonwoo denies quite matter of factly, showing his phone screen to jeonghan.

“liar!” seungkwan accuses, “i saw your phone yesterday and he texted you good morning don’t forget the concert tomorrow!”

“yeah only because there’s a concert tomorrow.”

he sees jeonghan rolling his eyes again, “have you been texting him or not?”

there’s a quiet pause as both seungkwan and jeonghan eyes wonwoo ridiculously, “…yes.”

then seungkwan starts blabbering some nonsense that wonwoo has already started tuning out of. he and mingyu had quite a week filled with subtle texts. sometimes, it will be something that reminded him of wonwoo or vice versa. sometimes, it would just be plain things about the upcoming concert or things like how did his portfolio go. it isn’t really something to brag about, just like how he texts his friends back in high school or now with seungkwan and jeonghan, friends do that, updating and stuff. so, wonwoo doesn’t want to be too uptight about it.

other than that, he also noticed that mingyu is literally famous just as what seungkwan described before. recently they have exchanged follows on some social nets, and on mingyu’s blog are some really good posts that gained way too many reactions. his photos and art works posted also ignited reactions that wonwoo never experienced. his regular snapchat stories are always filled with events with different people. and to say wonwoo is afraid, would be an understatement, wonwoo is paranoid and really about to drop all communications with mingyu but he couldn’t do it.

especially, since it’s the thing he and mingyu have been conversing about lately. and a small part of him wants to believe.

only until tomorrow, wonwoo thinks, after tomorrow, he’d leave mingyu alone. he didn’t want to go through the same thing he did back in high school.

****

the clock ticks a loud half past five in the late afternoon, and wonwoo sits amidst his clothes, his head hung low as he picks his phone up that pops a notification that reads, just be yourself, look cute, from seungkwan. he heaves a long-exaggerated sigh, “but which one? i can’t do both.”

he looks at the range of clothes, literally ranging from the colour of his soul to very pastel unicorn’s vomit. he sits on the floor, still rummaging through the pile of clothes, the clock ticks a six in the evening, and wonwoo thinks he should really start moving. he settles in with a pair of black jeans, and a pastel pink shirt and scurries his way into the bathroom and starts on styling his hair, tousling and tousling, unable to decide on the right style. he ends up ruffling it back to the original style, only to sweep it to the side a little revealing a bit of his forehead.

he leans back to look at the clock, seeing that it’s already almost seven, he promised mingyu to meet at seven thirty. cursing under his breath, wonwoo jogs out of the bathroom, opting for the glasses instead of his usual contacts because he definitely should not waste time wailing about poking his eyes. he props the rounded frame glasses on, and stumbles around while wearing his socks then sends a quick message.

(wonwoo) 19 01

i’m on my way!

while wearing his shoes, a reply from mingyu came.

(mingyu) 19 03

me too :)

he tries to ignore the fact that he’s texting mingyu but stops tying his shoe laces; bringing both his hands to cover his face as he frantically tries to calm down and convince himself that it isn’t a dream, that this is all happening, and he’s going to see mingyu in a few minutes.

****

wonwoo reaches the station they agreed to meet in. his breathing is uneven as he searches the area for mingyu, which didn’t take too long because mingyu stands out a lot. he’s saying that mingyu usually stands out but today, god, today mingyu looks absolutely stunning. his hair’s a shade of pale grey and styled up to the side, revealing the entire of his perfect sculpture, his ripped jeans, his black bomber jacket that compliments the really bright white shirt underneath. suddenly, wonwoo feels really underdressed. to make him feel worse, mingyu isn’t waiting alone.

he’s leaning against a pillar, leisurely conversing with two other guys, none of them familiar. wonwoo walks over really slowly, half-hoping that they would leave before he gets to mingyu; they did.

“hey,” mingyu greets him, and something about it feels different, like mingyu outside of the campus versus mingyu in the campus. “i didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“o-oh, yeah i was rushing, didn’t have time to put on the contacts.”

“you should wear it more often. you look really cute with it.”

normally, he doesn’t like it when he gets called ‘cute’ but when mingyu does it, it seems acceptable. the words stick to his throat like glue and wouldn’t budge as he tries to acknowledge mingyu’s new appearance as well. he just feels so small next to mingyu now and all the confidence from the other day has vanished. mingyu gives a queer look to wonwoo probably sensing him tensing up, he reaches down to wonwoo’s disarranged hair from all the running that he did, and combs it neatly, fixing it back to its rightful position.

wonwoo blinks, if mingyu keeps giving him surprise attacks like these, he might as well just leave before he dies.

“we should get going.”

the older nods, mingyu walks ahead of him and wonwoo watches his broad back, a little disappointed with himself, that he couldn’t even leave a nice comment on mingyu’s look. he wants to, but every time he tries to speak and mingyu looks at him directly in his eyes, the words get stuck.

they arrive in the area pretty soon. wonwoo could hear the loud, exciting cheers of the fans from outside the arena and his stomach does a small flop. he was really hoping from the day before that today, he would be able to get to know mingyu better, and he certainly didn’t practice the questions for nothing. wonwoo takes a deep breath thinking, you can do it, he takes bigger steps until he’s walking next to mingyu who was looking at the concert tickets.

“what’s our area-,” he starts before getting interrupted by another boy’s voice.

“mingyu!”

mingyu turns away from wonwoo and to his right, “oh!” he exclaims, “haven’t seen you in such a long time!”

wonwoo peeks over to see who it is before his face turns a few shades of pale.

“hey, hey, buddy, it’s been crazy long since high school.”

“yeah, seokmin, it sure has.”

“nice hair. haven’t seen you since you got—,” he stops, looking at wonwoo beside mingyu, who then scoots further back, shielding behind mingyu, “wait, isn’t that wonwoo?”

wonwoo looks at mingyu who has turned around to look at him, they totally just implied that they went to the same high school, does that mean mingyu’s knows wonwoo from way back then? but why doesn’t wonwoo remember him?

“um,” mingyu starts, “yeah, he is.”

“wait, it’s that wonwoo right, the one from our high school?”

our high school?! wonwoo screams in his mind, so mingyu really does know about it then, then… then he must’ve heard about the confession incident as well. wonwoo shuts his eyes, trying to calm his veins from popping. did mingyu purposely get close to him just because? mingyu is also ridiculously well-known too, is he just here to bring wonwoo’s hopes up and then make a huge fuss in the end? wonwoo is just about to up and leave the scene before mingyu speaks again, “yeah, it’s jeon wonwoo who i got in trouble for.”

seokmin’s mouth forms a round o shape before triumphally laughing, “oh my god, when—should we talk about what happened again?”

“shut up, seokmin,” mingyu chides softly, the back of his hand covers his face.

“w-what happened?” wonwoo joins, curiosity burning in his soul.

“somethings are better left unsaid,” mingyu replies quickly, blocking seokmin from reaching over to wonwoo.

seokmin laughs again eyes forming a full crescent, wonwoo frowns, feeling inferior again, many bad things happened in his high school life, his locker sprayed paint, his shoes got stolen, his desk was turned upside down in some mornings and some students got suspended from all these but he never paid close attention to who was it. and now mingyu is doing all things that drops clues that maybe he’s one of those who is out to make wonwoo’s life miserable.

“go away,” mingyu mutters, still fighting seokmin who is laughing and trying to get to wonwoo. “go back to where you came from.”

“alright, alright, stop hitting me!” seokmin cackles, “bye wonwoo!” he says quickly before leaving.

wonwoo stands still wavering over his past. he hears mingyu heaves a deep relieved sigh and turns around looking at him apologetically.

“sorry about that, i didn’t expect to see him—“

“we were in the same high school?”

mingyu looks afraid for a second, he brings his hand up and ruffles his grey hair, looking everywhere and at anything that isn’t wonwoo, he bites down on his lips for a moment, contemplating hard, “yeah.”

wonwoo’s expression darkens. he opens his mouth and tries to say something, but nothing comes out so he brings his eyes to the ground, thinks about the hours he spent fretting over tonight, thinks about the number of days he spent thinking about mingyu. and then remembers about how he felt in high school, how mingyu may have made him feel that way.

suddenly he reminisces about that old day, when he vowed to seungkwan all teary eyed and snobby nose, that he wouldn’t ever try to get close to anyone who is near well-known or has the power to make everyone do what they did to him. at that time, it’s only regarded as something said out of anger. he brings himself to look at mingyu in the eye painfully, he knows he shouldn’t jump to conclusion so he tries again, “what was it” he asks slowly, “that you did?”

if mingyu have lied about it, wonwoo would’ve let himself to buy it, maybe he’s that desperate, or maybe he’s just stupid enough to think that mingyu isn’t like that. except mingyu does nothing. he says nothing—doesn’t explain about anything.

the shorter of the two lets a bitter laugh hover over the air heavily, a small understanding smile and nods, “i’m tired, you can go to the concert on your own.”

then he’s running, he hears mingyu from a distance. really, it’s so foolish of him, he knew something didn’t feel quite right when everything is going so accordingly, there’s no way that someone like mingyu would pay attention to him. everything’s too good to be true. it’s so stupid—he almost dug a hole back to the hell he experienced before. he halts by a small store, already out of breath from the running, cursing that he should’ve done more sports, wonwoo wipes the remaining cold tear tracks on his face.

“ mingyu” the wind was cold against his pale hands, and wonwoo wished he hasn’t dressed this dandy because now he feels the shades of black in his soul, “ mingyu and his stupid smile,” he scolds, weeping new quiet tears. he finds a wooden bench outside a small bakery and checks his phone and it blinks eight fifteen, the concert is probably starting. wonwoo considers on calling either one of his friends, but the serene and frequent buzz down the small street left him a strange calming effect. it reminded him of the cold nights that he spent alone, in a street like this, when he could no longer take his parents’ argument. he sighs, what would the wonwoo back then think about the situation?

“believe?” he asks himself and pathetically laughs.

he shuts his eyes again, trying to gain his composure back, perhaps he should just head over to jeonghan’s. it’s nearer anyway. before he’s able to move, a tall figure appears beside him, “wonwoo.”

wonwoo rolls his eyes at the sight of mingyu, it’s funny how different he felt just many minutes ago and how he feels now.

“let me explain,” mingyu takes huge steps and holds onto wonwoo’s wrist, “please don’t run again.”

“look, if you’re just here to apologize about what you’ve done in the past, then forget it, because i honestly, i honestly do not care,” his voice cracks and the end and wonwoo lets out an irritated huff and tries to pry away from mingyu’s hold.

“it’s not like that…” mingyu begs, still holding onto wonwoo’s wrist tightly.

“ off, mingyu,” wonwoo warns sternly. he could see how surprised mingyu is and even he’s surprised at how stone-cold he sounded.

“i will,” mingyu says sadly, “after you listen to me.”

wonwoo sighs, giving up on squirming away from mingyu, he looks to the side, avoiding the gaze mingyu is giving.

“i just got expelled in high school okay,” mingyu says like it’s the most embarrassing thing ever. “because…”

“because what?” wonwoo asks, getting quite impatient.

“well, i just punched the guy who sprayed paint on your locker and his mom was really pissed and got me expelled.”

wonwoo stares at him, what?

“ok, maybe it wasn’t just a punch? look, i was just really pissed okay, i have a few friends who are gay as well by few i meant seokmin, because we’re like close friends,” mingyu lets go of wonwoo’s wrist, it burns slightly, but wonwoo’s too intrigued by mingyu’s gesture and words, “and like i’ve heard about you, and they really shouldn’t be doing what they were doing. i stayed over really late that one day because i failed my english and had to do an extra class. and the guy was there with the black and red spray paint by your locker, well of course i knew that was your locker, everyone was talking about you.”

mingyu breathes, calming himself down, “so i just went over and punched him. we got into a brawl and then the next day i got expelled.”

“why didn’t you just tell me so before?”

“well, you’re really smart you know… like in high school you were always placed top in your level, and you were like a senior to me, and i’m just stupid and stuff… and telling someone who is really smart that you got expelled because you got into a fight is really embarrassing? and it doesn’t help that i didn’t do well in my studies either.”

“oh,” wonwoo could tell that mingyu’s really embarrassed. his cheeks are glowing red and he keeps meeting wonwoo’s eye and then looking away really quickly. “i thought, i was…”

“sorry, i should’ve explained myself. earlier, seokmin tried to tell you about it too.”

“oh…” mingyu’s previously perfectly styled hair is a mess, and he’s no longer wearing his bomber jacket—just holding it with his arms. “i didn’t know… sorry i ran.”

“you’re not going to do it, again right?”

wonwoo looks at mingyu, he blushes a crimson red and shakes his head, ashamed of himself overreacting. he shakes his head lightly and brings his hand to his glasses giving it a light tip (a nervous habit). “you’re not stupid, your art is really good,” wonwoo says like it’s the most important thing in the conversation.

mingyu blinks confusedly and he lets out a dry chuckle, “thanks?”

“and your dyed hair looks really good,” he compliments quickly, well better late than never.

mingyu laughs again, and he brings the back of his hand to cover his face again, also a nervous habit that wonwoo has seen so many times, “thanks, i just... was looking forward to the concert a lot.”

“… sorry.”

“no, it’s not your fault.”

“no, really, i overreacted.”

“hey…”

“really, sorry.”

“well,” mingyu takes his phone out from the back pocket of his jeans, it’s almost nine, “we can still make it,” he smiles while wearing his jacket.

before wonwoo could string a sentence together, mingyu takes him by the hand and runs. it feels as though time has slowed down for the two, running on the small street, for a moment wonwoo looks back, he pictures the young him by the bench, hot streaming tears and his parents’ arguments ringing in his head, he tries to remember how he felt back then but all he could think of was mingyu covering his face with the back of his hand and mingyu’s endearing toothy smile. a sudden rush of thankfulness overcomes him, he lets the wind guide the tracks of the newly born tears.

by the time, they got to the concert it’s nine thirty-five—both out of breath, but let’s be honest here, wonwoo’s already planning his 10 days’ worth of sleep from all these running.

“we’ll try to push forward,” the grip on wonwoo’s hands tightens and it makes him wonder what does mingyu feel. because, he’s heard from seungkwan that mingyu dated girls before, so he’s definitely not like wonwoo. what does he feel about holding hands with wonwoo like this? everything feels weird.

mingyu shuffles his way forward, his hands never letting go of wonwoo’s. they reached to the middle—the sound of the music blaring as wonwoo stares at mingyu’s back, then the younger pulls him forward, all the way to his side, “can you see?” he yells, looking at wonwoo.

wonwoo nods.

he loses mingyu’s attention as another set plays in the concert, mingyu’s obviously thrilled. so is wonwoo, except he wasn’t sure if it’s the concert or the fact that mingyu never let go of his hands throughout.

that night, wonwoo doesn’t think about his uality, doesn’t think about his parents, doesn’t think about how much he wanted to just stop living back then. instead, he focused on mingyu’s warm hands on his hand and mingyu’s really bright cheers.

word count: 3015

huuuuuuuuuur keeping up with consistency is so difficult sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (so i updated this without putting much thought about my a/n) but i came back and re-read it again and was pretty happy about how this chapter turns out to be. i could see what's going to happen next so it means everything's going well *cheers*

finally, some awaited progress aka drama. i love dramatic fanfiction hahahhahaa ha anyway, from here you could see hints of wonwoo's past and i just wanted to say (as you all know that i do not plan my work by chapters) that i may include some ways of him trying to take his life out im just saying, though its not 100% confirmed bc i change as i type............... and i dont want to ruin surprises, but i figured i'll let the current readers know about it, and when i actually write about it, i'll put the tag up..... i hope its not too late bc i certainly do not want anyone to be triggered by anything. ok i love all you. 

so that's all i have to say, thanks for reading!