second-year in university, that one person who changes it all.

it isn’t like wonwoo doesn’t enjoy loud group of friends making obnoxious jokes or sitting in the cafeteria table with a bunch of children (he likes assuming he’s the mature one) with ignored lunches on the round table; laughing like the world means little to them. he just doesn’t enjoy the idea of doing something that draws the blood of energy from his veins.

and to make matters worse, he already has a few a close friend who, for the love of god, can’t keep his mouth shut. that person being—boo seungkwan. however, the latter who has been wonwoo’s friend since high school (because the kid is probably a prodigy who skipped a few years and ended up in the same year as wonwoo), who sticks to him until university through thick and thin is definitely someone wonwoo wouldn’t trade for anything.

at times, wonwoo relieves the memory of the first time he has felt so strongly for that one boy in his senior class that apparently ‘belonged’ to everyone. and that’s only because he’s the most vibrant and kind person ever. but fake images are meant to be shattered sooner or later. with a blind-driven force of watching motivational talks on ‘all-kinds of love’ wonwoo made a confession.

only to be brushed off by that’s kind of disgusting.

he has imagined every possible scenario of how he would be rejected by the kindest boy in high school that everyone talks fondly of. but that wasn’t one of his prediction.

and maybe that’s what lead to his agenda of not ever think of standing a chance with one who is everyone’s favourite.

to balance the very limited close friends that wonwoo has (which is perhaps only seungkwan) is jeonghan who is quiet and the type who wouldn’t hurt a fly. at least that’s what wonwoo thinks at first. he doesn’t remember when or how did he meet jeonghan, but it was probably that one time when he needed a partner for his presentation and everyone seemed to have someone except that person sitting behind, hair tied together in a ponytail, a weak expression, that wonwoo pitied.

like any probable tactics to get on a good side of someone, wonwoo walks over, a cautious smile on his face when their eyes met and said something along the lines of want to partner up? and instead of a shy, timid ‘sure’ that he calculated many times before approaching all he received was a scowl.

wonwoo had two choices then one was to walk away the other was to ask again but pride was hard to swallow.

so, you can only imagine an already awkward around new people kid sitting next to a person who looked like he could afford a hitman to get you killed over the day. and as days’ progress with wonwoo ranting about how dismissive jeonghan was in tasks to seungkwan, along the ways, somehow, they’ve managed to form a trio of friends that wonwoo likes to say is balanced with an overzealous seungkwan on one side and the secretly sassy jeonghan on the other, where he fits perfectly in between and really, he’s grateful.

because honestly, where could he ever find friends who willingly drop their summer breaks to give wonwoo a shoulder to cry on during his parent’s divorce?

it was expected, fights have gotten more often and somehow every fight encountered involved his name in the same sentence with the word ‘homoual’. who else could he have blamed under than his god damn self. wonwoo expected it, he expected to hear his parents one day unusually calm, sitting on the family dinner table, calling out to him. he expected and yet it did not hurt any less.

in the end, he never knew the reason why they decided to divorce. because even after his parents stopped seeing each other and that wonwoo has officially moved out to stay alone working part time in a convenience store and sometimes freelancing jobs through the internet, his parents who he assumed at young age hated his uality, still sends a little allowance and regards to him.

sometimes, it comforts him that maybe he wasn’t the reason.

but on darker days and deep, buried beneath all the things he’s been through so far, he knows he was one of the reason; perhaps the biggest reason.

this could be the reason why wonwoo decides on the mindset that “everyone will leave anyway.” having a group of friends in high school? so what, in the end they left him anyways after finding out about the whole ‘disgusting’ confession. having parents who he thought he could count on? sike.

or even that stray cat that he used to play with in elementary.

in the end, he only has himself.

***

“.”

“i don’t think i deserve this much negativity in the early morning,” jeonghan says giving wonwoo a pointed look.

“i forgot there’s an a draft due today, i could’ve worked on it but last night i was-“

“goodluck,” and the slender boy with a hair flipped paces a little faster, takes a turn and disappears into one of the rooms.

wonwoo curses under his breath one more, his legs moving slower than usual as he already dreads the first lecture he has to attend.

“relax, the lecturer is old and forgetful, he wouldn’t remember besides he wouldn’t take out marks since you’ve given him a softcopy,” seungkwan assures, “and even if he does catch you not giving a hardcopy, you’d just have to get one more question and write another 1000 words on it.”

wonwoo stops in his tracks and eyes giving seungkwan the are-you-for-real, “so you’d write it?”

“what? no, i’m not the one who forgot to bring a hardcopy!”

with that wonwoo just shakes his head in disbelief, you said it like it’s the easiest! he scolds in his mind but being wonwoo who chooses to not fret over many things, he takes bigger steps leaving seungkwan behind telling him to wait up and asking things like why’re you so mad in the morning wonwoo can only roll his eyes.

and of course, he gets call out.

as he was cautiously sitting behind the room, trying to seriously blend with the wall, some kid in the front row reminds the old man to do a count on the physical hardcopies. wonwoo swears, if jails did not exist he could’ve jumped the kid right now, give him a punch that’s going to send him directly to Satan.

“that damn brat,” he seethes.

seungkwan sitting beside him becomes more anxious for the oblivious half-american kid than wonwoo getting called out in the class.

“jeon wonwoo,” the lecturer calls and looks directly at wonwoo.

***

it isn’t like him to be this clumsy, one thing happened after another, first it’s the draft.

then one of his client from his freelance decided to stop the project wonwoo spent the night working on when he could’ve been working on the physical hardcopy so he wouldn’t have to receive another 1000 words penalty. exasperated of the events which is small in number but large in terms of emotional effects, he strides over quick and fast, to the vending machine before his next class.

a box of juice to cheer himself up, is what he had in mind. having some small changes in his pockets, it took him a while to process that the last coin he was about to slip into the vending machine gone into another dimension, gone and never to be seen again.

as if the world is playing a cruel trick on him, he receives a note from his manager in the convenience store where he was part-timing at to come in on coming friday night to fill in for a sick co-worker. he deadpans. friday night is the time he spends on his couch, finally a time where he could sit alone, with some snacks, eyes glued to his favourite variety show.

wonwoo looks around, everyone was busy, moving fast, carrying papers, chatters about the upcoming projects. the time ticking seemed to get closer and louder and all he wanted to do, is to literally combust and leave no ashes or dust of his remains in the earth. perhaps it seems over exaggerated, but at this point he’s down with two choices of emotions. he either remain cool or take a detour into heaven or furiously put his head into a wall.

he was done, either way, he has to leave this mayhem.

so off he goes, skipping the remaining classes of the day.

***

he could go to many places to calm down, he could’ve gone to the nearby park to photosynthesize like a true plant or the cinema even. but, he ends up in a fast food restaurant sitting down, a tray on the table; a beef burger, fries and coffee.

simplicity.

little did he know, this ‘simplicity’ decision could have his life upside-down.

there are a few people around his age loitering around the place, well, it is almost lunch time but wonwoo likes complaining about little things in his mind while looking completely uncaring on the outside.

diving straight into the burger and almost feeling his adrenaline dropping to constant, wonwoo thinks this is it, this is how you calm someone down; with food. the taste of the beef in his mouth as he chews slowly pushes the events of the day so far to the back of his mind—making the disastrous day bearable.

as if he has no worries. that the day was just fine. no penalties essay or pennies underneath the vending machine or jeonghan dismissing him. it’s all good.

with much delicacy, he picks the cup of coffee up and takes a sip of it, only to grimace at the bitterness. remembering that he had forgotten to take the packs of sugar on the self-service counter.

“damn i-,” he scolds under his breath before getting interrupted by a sachet what he assums to look so oddly similar to a sachet of salt shoved in front of his face from his right.

“here.”

wonwoo blinks, once and twice, before he takes the sachet with the tips of his finger. he reads the sachet and clearly the label in blue printed countless time on the small sachet reads salt, salt, salt. is this guy for real? he questions.

he looks over to his right, eyes yelling what the , the sachet now on the tips of finger held up in ridicule.

“i’m- what- what is this?”

“um, salt?” the other says, a sheepish smile elucidating that maybe he thinks wonwoo is dumb. and with that smile wonwoo takes note of how this person here, has a really toothy smile with both canines proudly showing and honestly, that’s a little cute but what the a sachet of salt????

wonwoo looks at the sachet in his hands again, and he thinks he should probably dismiss the whole thing like what a normal civilian would do when encountering something as odd as this, but something in wonwoo’s mind tugs, this spark that makes him want to protest. so he turns over eyes meeting the stranger again, and this time wonwoo takes in the stranger’s appearance as a whole.

oh .

he’s attractive, wonwoo may be stubborn and in many cases lazy, uncaring and tired. but he can tell so well, between what is attractive and what is not, and this one, this person sitting on his right, who just handed him a sachet of salt for his coffee that is probably getting lukewarm by now is good looking. and he did that sheepish smile again.

“stop smiling,” wonwoo absent-mindedly comments, and almost immediately the smile disappears turning into confusion, wonwoo almost planted his face in the soil, “i mean,” he tries.

“life hack,” the other interrupts, “to lose the bitterness but keep the other flavours of your coffee, instead of masking it with sugar just add a pinch of salt.”

then he proceeds to pushes his hair a little, and wonwoo notices how well black hair suited his face. it falls over on his forehead above his eyes perfectly, not too silky but just right. and wonwoo wanted to scream because first of all, damn! did he just score or what? and second, he’s such a nerd.

but all these emotions only takes part inside his head, all he could muster in reality is to stare blankly at the stranger who once again is showing his really dorky smile.

“i’m sorry, that’s not how i take my coffee and i think you should stop pushing your belief on others who,” he stops, man this chattering i’m doing, seungkwan!!! “but thanks anyway, for the offer.”

what wonwoo calculates in his mind is for the ridiculously good looking person to stop whatever he’s trying to help/prove.

“let me help you, trust me.”

and with that the cup of coffee is lifted from wonwoo’s tray, it happens so quickly, he couldn’t even complain. the sachet of salt is ripped open messily, some grains falling on the ground some on the stranger’s tray. wonwoo yelps.

the stirrer dips into the cup and wonwoo feels his own eyes visibly twitching as he watches and feels on a spiritual level—salt dissolving in his coffee. is this guy for real?! he asks himself the second time in the event except this time filled with tens times of confusion.

the cup of coffee is handed back to wonwoo, and he could only stare at the swirling motions of the black liquid; dumbfounded.

then he hears it, the sounds of the angels calling he turns his head around so quick to see the stranger laughing. wonwoo concludes the day is really horrible but man he could take 10 bad days to listen (or to look at) someone like this.

the stranger sitting next to him wears a black and white striped long sleeve, hair above his eyes, and his eyes in a crinkle laughing, canines baring in public. soon after, the laughter dies down and he brings his elbow on the table, face resting on his palm and looks at wonwoo.

lips forming in a thin lined smile and his eyes curves a little like he was adoring the love of his life (except he’s looking at wonwoo), “try it!”

wonwoo is almost dead, first of all this boy, this dude, this man, this stranger sitting next to him is ing good looking, he just had a bad day, someone polluted his coffee.

but his hands outstretched and took the coffee in his palms.

the smile grew and wonwoo’s chest tighten.

i am so smitten