It's a cold morning. Jaemin really knows it. Who doesn't? The sun does shine quite brightly, and the snow hasn't come yet in Seoul. But the breeze still blows, though slowly, yet Jaemin still feels it making him cold.

Well, he wears his usual green winter jacket, and his black jeans trouser, not forgetting his favorite Nike white shoes. Actually it is quite enough to shield him from the cold breeze, right? But, no. Jaemin still feels cold. Why? Because there is no additional arm that will wrap his shoulder from beside, bringing him to a certain body, and giving him the actual warm that he actually needs right now.

No, not this morning.

The certain boy that Jaemin is thinking about is now standing a few step away in front of him. In front. Not by his side as usual. Jaemin can't help but sighs heavily. His heart is heavy. If your bestfriend, which also happens to be your boyfriend, stay silent and not get as close as usual, your heart will definitely feels like Jaemin.

"So you are still mad on me? Jeno-yah?" Jaemin thinks. They are in a bus stop near their dorm, waiting for a bus to take them to their school. And it has almost been 5 minutes of silence from Jeno, which, for Jaemin, feels like forever.

He sighs again, closing his eyes. He feels like he wants to cry, but he just can't. Jeno still stays silent in his place, eyes looking towards the direction where the bus might come.

 

. . .

 

"What happens with you, Jeno?" Jaemin asked Jeno after they had finished dinner. Jeno was frowning all along the dinner time and it made Jaemin worried.

"I am the one who should ask that. What happens with you?" Jeno replied calmly, his face expression didn't change a bit.

"What happens with me? What's that supposed to me? I don't get it, Jeno."

"If you don't get it then leave. Just leave me alone."

"Leave? I'm worried about you and you asked me to leave? It's my first night back in the dorm, and I thought we could spend some time together."

"Exactly."

"Huh?"

"I said, exactly. I also thought like that."

"What do you mean?"

"I also thought we could spend some time together."

"Then why were you acting up like that? You just ate silently at dinner with frowning face. It makes me worried as hell. And now you said you wanted to spend time together like nothing happened. What happens with you?"

"If you asked me what happens with me, then I'll ask you WHAT HAPPENS WITH YOU AND DOYOUNG HYUNG?!"

That's it. Finally. Jeno snapped back to Jaemin; his teeth were gritting and his breath was heavy. Those were the signs that Jeno was really angry.

"Wha-, wait Jeno. You're overthinking things."

"You're sitting next to him instead of me, and he was giving you all the attention, and you seemed just enjoying it and now you say I'm overthinking things?"

"Jeno..."

"I'm the most worried person when you hurt your back in the practice, checking your condition by text or calling you when you had to take the bed rest for a month, and now when you finally back you choose to get close to him instead of me?! I'm your boyfriend, Na Jaemin, for God's sake!"

"Jeno I know you're jealous but he's our hyung!"

"If you really think that way so why you hugged him in MySMT show? Ever since that time you two have getting closer and closer and this night is the most irritating of all."

"Okay, Jeno. I'm sorry!"

"... That's all you can say? Unbeliavable."

Jaemin looked at Jeno helplessly. He knew that Jeno was really mad at the moment and he couldn't do anything else. Doyoung was a really kind person from the very start, and he was just giving Jaemin some care since the accident that hurt his back. Everyone else actually did almost the same thing, but Jeno just got jealous anyway, since that particular scene in MySMT.

"Please, Jeno." Jaemin got close and sat beside Jeno on the edge of the bed.

"I don't mean that. Doyoung hyung just showed some care to me. I'm sorry that you feel bad because of that."

Jeno just kept silent, putting his face away from Jaemin.

Jaemin reached his shoulder, holding it tenderly.

"Jeno yah... I don't want it to be like this for tonight. Please... I miss you.. I miss you so much.. Everyday I struggle to recover just so that I can meet you again.. It's only your texts and calls that can make my hope. Please, Jeno.. "

"I'm tired."

"Jeno.."

"I'm tired, Jaemin. I want to sleep. If you have nothing more to say, just go to your bed."

Jaemin was shocked, but know that he wouldn't get to argue a stubborn Jeno in a time like this.

"Fine."

He then got up and walked to his bed, lied down and saw towards Jeno. He's already lying down, his back on Jaemin, covered with bedsheet. Jaemin knew that he shouldn't bother Jeno at this time, and decided to sleep.

I hope tomorrow will get better, he thought.

 

. . .

 

Jaemin remembers that this morning Jeno woke him up, telling him that today is his first day of school. His face and tone were still rather flat, but his touch to Jaemin's face showed that Jeno might have forgiven him. Jaemin felt lightly better, but still hoped that he will smile back to Jaemin like he usually does.

But here they are now, standing a few steps away, waiting for bus in silence. Jaemin can't help but feel a bit hurt.

"Why are you still mad, Jeno?" Jaemin says in his mind.

"Are you still mad with Doyoung hyung? Haven't I told you that-, wait. Doyoung hyung? Don't tell me..."

Something clicked in Jaemin's mind. He just remembered that this morning before they went out from their dorm for school, Doyoung hyung gave him a cup of milk. "For your energy," Jaemin remembers Doyoung said like that while ruffling his hair. Jaemin thought Jeno was waiting outside at that time. Did Jeno know that? He needs to confirm.

"Jeno yah, this morning did you just see-,"

"The bus has come."

From their right, a white bus is coming and stops nearby.

"Let's go." Jeno says and walks to the bus leaving Jaemin behind, his tone is still flat. Jaemin has no choice but follows him.

The bus turns out to be crowded with people already. Jeno has already taken a seat, and not a single seat left for Jaemin. Jaemin decides to stand near Jeno, also decides to ask the question later.

Minutes passed, and Jeno still stays silent. Jaemin can't help but feeling more worried and hurt. He can start to feel tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

The bus stops in a bust stop, and more people come in to the bus. The crowd is getting bigger and a man accidentally hits Jaemin's back. Jaemin winces in pain knowing that he has just recovered. Suddenly a hand holds his arm and pulling him closer and another hand holds his wait, making him sits on a lap of a certain boy.

It's Jeno.

"J-Jeno yah.."

"Shh. Just sit."

Jaemin feels a bit flustered but obeys anyway. Not yet to mention that now both of Jeno's hands are holding onto his waist tightly, more like hugging actually, seems wanting to protect him from any danger. And Jaemin couldn't feel more flustered his face starts to turn red, when Jeno's face buries to his back. But still he can hear Jeno says,

"I can't stand seeing you hurt."

Jaemin puts his hands on Jeno's.

"Forgive my ego yesterday. I was really missing you so much, too much that even a form of usual care from a brother upsets me."

He can feel his hold on his waist is getting tighter.

"And to answer your question before, yes I heard Doyoung hyung giving you some milk. Being a selfish boyfriend I am, it upset me again and made me ignore you. But your hurt face just now had just hit me."

A real tear has just dropped by Jaemin's cheek.

"I love you. More than my jealousy. It's okay, I understand now. We are all brothers anyway. Just don't leave me. Ever. Okay?"

Jaemin's felt Jeno's cheek rubs his back tenderly. He feels very happy, knowing that Jeno is not mad anymore. And he knows that they are going to be just fine.

"Never." Jaemin says while intertwining their hands.

"I'll never leave you."

It's a cold morning, indeed, with a slow breeze blowing in the air. But Jaemin doesn't feel cold anymore. With Jeno's presence beside him, now, he feels warm.

 

@@@@@

 

There, I wrote it. I really miss Jaemin so much. Hope he will appear soon in SM.