“You have a genetic predisposition to developing early onset Alzheimer’s.”

The frightful message played over and over again in his head like a broken record. He was standing in the kitchen holding a cutting board, with no idea as to why. He couldn’t remember. Stress, that’s what his husband said it was. Neither wanted to discuss the possibility that maybe… just maybe it wasn’t stress.

Jaejoong remembered what it was like with his mother. How his father struggled to keep her memory fresh, even when there was nothing left to salvage. She was 42 when it first started. Jaejooong was now 38 and the dreaded diagnoses had been given. He was cursed with early onset Alzheimer’s.

“Jae?”

“Yes?"

“Do you need any help making dinner?”

Dinner. That’s what he was doing.

“No, thanks, Yunho. I’ll be quick.”

“What are you making?”

“Thought I’d make a taco salad with shrimp.”

“What? You’re allergic to shellfish, Jae.”

“Ah.. yeah. Sorry, I’m just stressed out, I guess.”

As the years passed, he tried to keep his mind occupied with crosswords and strategy games every day. The headaches were frequent, but he tried his best to keep his mind focused on other things. Like his family. His husband of 10 years and their beautiful little girl. His biggest fear was forgetting them. Every now and then he would forget things. Like why he walked into the living room or he would misplace objects only to find them in the strangest places sometimes weeks later.

“Jaejoong? You going for a run?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back in an hour.” Every morning he went for a run, same route every time, only this time it would be different. He kissed his husband and grabbed his jacket. The fresh air blew across his face, and he could tell by the smell that summer was well on its way. Freshly cut grass and the smell of hot asphalt had a calming effect on him. He rolled his eyes when a couple of youngsters drove past with obnoxiously loud music. Maybe he was just getting older. He had just turned 41 after all.

He jogged past their local grocery store but when he got to the park, something happened and he stopped. His blood froze, and his breathing came irregular. He was terrified, more scared than he’d ever been. He had no idea where he was. He looked around, searching for buildings, or landmarks he knew, but he couldn’t recognize anything. Everything slowed down, seconds felt like hours.

“Are you okay?” a woman asked.

Jaejoong turned around, did he know this woman? “Yeah… I’m fine.”

“Okay, just making sure. You looked a bit lost there for a second.”

And just as quickly as it came, it went away. Everything went back to normal. He recognized the apartment complex across from him, and the park where he and Yunho had their first date.

When he came home, Yunho was waiting for him. He didn’t look happy.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve tried calling you like 20 times.”

“I told you I was going for a run.”

“Yeah, and you also told me you’d be back in an hour. Jaejoong, it’s 2pm.”

Was it? Had it really been that long? Maybe those seconds didn’t just feel like hours.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know it was that late already.”

“You said you’d pick up Lily from school.”

Jaejoong sighed, “I forgot—”

“You seem to be doing that a lot lately.” Yunho’s tone was cold, harsh. Jaejoong wasn’t used to it.

“If you have something to say, say it.”

“Jaejoong, I didn’t—“

“Say it! God knows I’ll forget it anyway.”

Yunho rolled his eyes and walked away.

“Yeah, walk away from your problems. Like you always do.”

“What do you want from me?!” Yunho screamed.

“I want you to talk to me! You have to accept the fact that one day I’ll wake up and I won’t know who you are!”

“I can’t!”

Jaejoong was on the brink of tears, his whole frame shaking. “You have to. This disease is going to hurt you more than it’ll hurt me. You know why? Because I won’t remember, but you will. There will come a time where I can’t pick you and Lily out from a lineup, but until that day comes… keep reminding me.”

“Reminding you of what?”

“Everything. The first day we met, when you proposed, when we adopted Lily… everything, every day until it no longer makes sense to me, until our vows become nothing but words.”

With tears streaming down his face, Yunho wrapped his arms around his beloved, hugging him so tight; he could feel Jaejoong’s heart beating against his chest. "I love you."

Yunho was loyal, and as promised, he kept telling Jaejoong stories, every day. Lily would also tell stories from school, and draw pictures of her and her parents together. She was only 8 years old, but her mind exceeded that of most 8 year olds.

“I arise from dreams of thee in the first sweet sleep of night.  When the winds are breathing low and the stars are shining bright. I arise from dreams of thee, and a spirit in my feet has led me -- who knows how? -- To thy chamber window, sweet,” Yunho whispered. He recited a poem he once read to Jaejoong.

“Say it again.”

Lying in the comforting arms of his husband, with Lily asleep next to them, Jaejoong listened to Yunho’s soothing voice.

“Why don’t you say it with me? I arise from dreams of thee in the first sweet sleep of night. When the winds are breathing low and the stars are shining bright.”

“I arise from dreams of thee, and a spirit..”

“And a spirit in my feet has led me -- who knows how?”

“To thy chamber window, sweet.”

Time passed and Yunho noticed a rapid decline in his husband’s mental state. He seemed confused and lost, and would often ask the same questions over and over again.

“Did you pick Lily up from school today?”

“Yes, I did, she’s at a friend’s house.”

“Oh okay,” Jaejoong said with a smile. They were watching a documentary together, but half way through it, Jaejoong lost his focus. “Did you pick Lily up from school?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I did.”

“Where is she?”

“At a friend’s house.”

“Okay.”

Maybe this did hurt Yunho more than it hurt Jaejoong.

9 months later, the day of their anniversary had arrived. Yunho had such great things planned, like taking Jaejoong to the park where they had their first date, and showing him their wedding pictures. He was going to ask Jaejoong to recite their vows again. With Lily as a flower girl, it would be the perfect day.

Yunho woke up with a big smile on his face; a sleeping Jaejoong was the first thing that greeted him.

“Jaejoong?” he whispered. “Wake up, honey.” He caressed his husband’s cheek just as he opened his eyes.

Jaejoong said nothing. Instead, he just stared at him, with a look of confusion and fright.

Yunho knew by the sheer look in his eyes… Jaejoong had no idea who he was.