“All the reasons why I fell in love with you are now the reasons why I can’t stand looking at you,” Yunho says as he grabs his clothes and stuffs them in his bag. “I used to think it was cute when I woke up in the middle of the night to find your side of the bed empty, knowing you were in the kitchen for a late night snack. Not anymore, I can’t stand it, Jaejoong. It constantly wakes me up when you get back into bed. And that thing you do, where you poke me when we’re watching scary movies, it annoys the hell out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jae whispers, not really sure what he’s apologizing for. “I thought we were fine. What changed?” He knows his other half has been feeling very tired lately. He knows Yunho doesn’t think he can see the circles under his eyes or how his appetite has changed, but he can. He just didn’t know he was the reason.

“You. You changed. You went from being the love of my life to this annoying, attention-seeking little child. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Please don’t leave me… I don’t know if I can live without you.”

“Well,” Yunho growls, “I guess we’re about to find out.” He grabs his keys and bolts out the door. He ignores Jaejoong’s sobbing and heart -wrenching screams.

Yunho drives for about 3 hours before he reaches the hotel he’s booked a room at. For the next few weeks, he gets frantic calls from Jaejoong just about every day, but he ignores them. In fact, he ignores all his calls.

One night, he sits down to write a letter, but his hand is shaking, making his writing look like that of a child. He changes his mind and throws the piece of paper in the trash. The letter reads nothing more than the words ‘I’m sorry’

He feels sick and his breathing is uneven. He decides to take a shower to clear his head.

Yunho runs his fingers through his wet hair, not at all surprised to see a clump of hair sticking to the palm of his hand. He leans against the wall and slides down. His mind is with Jaejoong, the love of his life. He knows Jae is the pain he won’t give up on. He thinks he’s doing the right thing, he thinks he’s protecting his love from the kind of hurt he’s never felt before and hopefully never will feel. It’s easier this way, he thinks. It’s easier for Jae to forget if he despises him. At least that’s what Yunho thinks. ‘Hate hurts less than love,’ he thinks.

“I can do this,” he whispers while pressing his lips against the promise ring Jae gave him years ago. “I can do this. I can die alone.”

He closes his eyes; the sound of the shower running fills the room. Yunho feels his eyes welling up with tears as he whispers, “I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to be your husband.”

With his hands firmly pressed against his chest, as if to stop the broken pieces of his heart from falling out, he takes his last breath.