The Path Less Taken

There he was again – strobe lights drowning his vision, loud speakers blasting away his uncertainties and fears.

This was one of those nights – one of those nights where he tried to shut off the rest of the world and where only he and his music existed.

A tap on his shoulder made him open his eyes and Taehyun looked at the man saying something to him that he didn’t really understand.

So Taehyun just smiled and waited until he was alone again.

He inhaled the suffocating smell of smoke and perfume and threw his head back.

This was one of those nights.

Taehyun locked his door with a sigh escaping his lips. Polly was waiting for him and he crouched to pet her. “How are you Polly-ah~?”

The cat answered by pressing its cheek into his palms more and Taehyun smiled.

But it was a sad smile, he knew because it had been like that for months.

He opened his phone and read some of the comments on his Instagram, realizing some fans were mad about Minho’s decision of unfollowing him.

“This is getting out of hand.”

*

It had been after their comeback songs were released that he realized something was happening to him that he shouldn’t be feeling.

It started when they were in the studio, composing their song, Sentimental. Everything was going smoothly until they lost track of how many bottles of soju they’ve emptied. Taehyun thought of how Minho denied remembering anything in particular that night in one interview, but the two of them knew he was lying.

Because Taehyun couldn’t forget how shocked Minho was when he leaned in and kissed him on the lips.  

Taehyun had been thinking about how Minho’s lips would feel for the past year but had not really acted on it. He thought it was just his curiosity and he blamed it on the restricted life of an idol.

And that night, he blamed it on soju.

He remembered pulling back and mumbling an apology just to be pushed down on the studio floor as Minho’s body pressed close to his. “Hyung?”

Taehyun wouldn’t forget how Minho cupped his cheek and kissed him clumsily. It was unsure, like the two of them were that time.

But Taehyun kissed back.

And that’s where it all started to up.

He wasn’t supposed to know that Minho was thinking about kissing him too and way before Taehyun had thought about it.

Or the fact that he liked the idea of Minho always looking for him in a crowd or always wanting to sit with him or always praising him and his angelic voice.

Taehyun wasn’t supposed to get too comfortable with any of that.

But he did.

And he treasured all those facts.

He wasn’t aware of it until a higher up from the company called him out one day, asking him what his relationship with Minho was.

Taehyun was dazed, immediately remembering the sneaky kisses and brushes of hands and smiles they only have for each other.

“We’re bandmates. And he’s my hyung, why?”

“It doesn’t look that way to us.”

And the higher up started talking about how hard it was to clean up the mess Jiyong and Seunghyun’s closeness made and how ugly it painted the path of their careers that time.  

Taehyun quickly realized what the other was suggesting, so in an annoyed tone, he dismissed the accusation and went about his day, his mood at its worst.

The problem was, as he tried to define their relationship, the more he failed to name it. Furthermore, he couldn’t just waltz into Minho’s room and ask “What am I to you?”  Because he, himself wasn’