“Unnie,” she says in her irritatingly cute voice. It's hard for me to deny though. A large part of me likes it, especially when it's addressed towards me.

“Okay, okay, I'll come with you. Don't you ever get full?” I laugh. Yoona, the girl a year younger than me, had been asking me to go with her after class to buy food at the nearby convenience store.

“Occasionally,” she grins. She rushes towards my side and loops an arm around mine. My heart flutters. I ignore it. “Thanks unnie, no one else ever wants to come with.” She gives me the sweetest smile and I try my best to return it.

“Of course, anything for you,” I joke. At least, that's how I hope it comes off.

That's how the days with Yoona usually go since we met a few months ago. She wants something, and I give in willingly. I tell myself it's just me being a good friend. In return, she showers me in affection and I can't get enough of it.

“You two are too much,” Sunny tells me one day, laughing, “if I didn't know any better, I'd think you two were a couple.”

A couple. I never thought about it like that, at least not consciously. Yoona and I, a couple? The more I think about it, the more I don't mind. In fact, I even like the idea. I brush it off quickly though, because how ridiculous is that? I shove it back into the deep depths of my mind because that's where thoughts like that belonged.

I'm not dumb, though. I know what I am.

I know far too well.

A few days later, the girls and I all meet up at Sooyoung's place. I'm not quite sure what her reason is for getting the seven of us all together (which happens to be a hard feat to accomplish, considering how busy school keeps us), but I assume it has something to do with Yuri being back in town. I feel like their relationship is a little suspicious, but I try not to jump to conclusions.

God knows, I hate it when people do that to me.

Sooyoung is annoyingly taking pictures of everyone again. Of all hobbies she had to pick up, it had to be photography. I have to admit though, especially since I don't particularly like taking pictures myself, that having so many memories to look back on isn't such a bad thing.

She comes up to me and starts playing with my hair. I had recently cut it short and dyed the tips blonde. It was a spontaneous decision that my parents weren't particularly happy about, but it's not like they could do anything about it now. I grab the camera that's slung around Sooyoung's neck while she's distracted and start to look through them.

A lot of them are kind of blurry, but some of the candid photos aren't half bad.

“Sooyoung, you know you can tell me anything, right?” I tell her when I pass by a photo of her and Yuri. If there's anyone in this room that she could talk to about this, it's definitely me.

“Same goes to you,” she says back to me. My heart sinks and I know that she knows. I push those thoughts aside again and try to focus on my immediate surroundings. My eyes land on Jessica, who's sitting quietly across the room watching the argument ensue about where we should order food from.

My heart sinks. A few months ago, I accidentally let it slip that I liked her, and she told me she didn't swing that way and has been avoiding me like the plague ever since. At least it seems like she hadn't told anyone.

Jessica told me then that we were only sixteen and that we couldn't possibly know ourselves that well, that I was just going through a phase.

She was my best friend. The one I thought I could tell anything. And I ruined it.

My eyes wander to Yoona. Had I moved on too fast? Or had I even moved on at all? Yoona was pretty and nice, but the way I felt towards Jessica was completely different. Maybe Yoona is just a distraction. And sometimes...sometimes I feel like she could feel the same way. She's always extra affectionate towards me. That must mean something, right?

No, I can't think like that.

I can't ruin another friendship.

I close my eyes and try hard not to let out a long sigh. This will pass, won't it? This is just a phase, right?

I open my eyes and frown.

Of course it's not just a phase.

I'm not dumb.

Jessica invites us all to her birthday party. There's something going on between Yuri and her, and Sooyoung seems to be in on it. I can't possibly be the only one noticing this, but no one seems to think twice about the looks they're giving each other.

I'm a little angry, because if there's something going on between them, then it means Jessica lied to me. I brush my feelings aside and try to enjoy my time with my friends.

Now is not the time.

When would be the time, though?

Yoona can't stop gushing about her new boyfriend.

I knew this would happen someday, and yet I foolishly held on to this weird kind of hope that my feelings would be reciprocated.

“Sorry Yoona, I have to go run some errands before I head back home,” I tell her. She looks disappointed and I have to hold in my anger. She has her boyfriend to go hang out with now. She doesn't need me here.

“Okay, unnie,” she says, still pouting. “I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah sure,” I grumble.

The weather was starting to get colder, and I mentally curse myself for not being prepared for it. I debate waiting for the bus or to walk home, and it isn't long before I decide a walk would be good for me. It's cold, but bearable. A few minutes later, I feel a jacket thrown over my shoulders.

I look behind me and I see the last person I want to see.

Jessica.

“Hey,” she says softly. “You're going to catch a cold. You need to dress better for the weather.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I mumble. “Thanks.”

She frowns and walks alongside me. “How have you been?” she asks cautiously.

“Fine,” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “Anyone with eyes can see you're not fine, Taeyeon.”

I should have just let it go, but my mouth moves before I can stop the words form coming out. “And anyone with eyes can see what you've got going on with Yuri.”

I wasn't even sure they were a thing, I only saw whatever was happening at her birthday party, but the look on her face confirmed it all for me. It was a shot in the dark, and I definitely hit a nerve.

“My personal life is none of your business,” she says quietly, whatever confidence she had wavers.

I can only scoff and start to walk faster. “Whatever, Jessica. I think we stopped being friends a long time ago.”

“Hey!” she yells, suddenly angry, and runs after me. “I wanted to stay friends, even after all that, You're the one who pushed me away. I get that you needed space, but damn it Taeyeon, I tried!”

I glance back at her and she's close to tears. My heart breaks.

“Did you really?” I turn around to fully face her. “Did you really lie to me back then? I mean, this whole thing you've got going on with Yuri...I thought you didn't swing that way?”

I can tell she starts to panic and I know that I probably shouldn't push such a sensitive subject, but I do anyway because she hurt me so much...I needed her to know that, even if it hurt her.

How selfish am I?

“It's different...” she tries to make sense of her thoughts.

“How?” I ask. “If you didn't like me, you could've just said so. But you lied to me.”

“You of all people should know it's not that simple Taeyeon! It was...it was hard for me! It..still is,” she says, her voice cracking. “Why...why does this matter so much now? Why can't we be friends now? I'm sorry for what happened Taeyeon, but it was a confusing time...”

“I still love you,” I find myself saying. I'm not entirely sure where it came from, but I regret it as soon as I see her freeze up.

“But...but...Yoona?”

“I had to try to move on somehow, right?” I start to cry, and I hate myself for it. The anger starts to dissipate and I'm only full of regret. “I'm sorry too, Jessica. I shouldn't have said anything.”

I turn and walk away.

Jessica doesn't chase me this time.

“Unnie...did I do something?” Yoona asks me the next day.

“Just leave me alone, Yoona. It's not you, I swear...I'm just...going through some personal problems.”

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Anything? I doubt that.

I see Sunny walking up to us, and she looks worried. The tension between Yoona and I must be more obvious than I thought.

“Yeah, I know,” I say, “I have to go, Sunny's here. We need to catch the bus.”

I walk away without saying good bye and drag Sunny with me.

“What was that?” she asks. I shrug. Sunny tends to know when to mind her own business, so it irks me even more than usual when she persists.

“Is this about her boyfriend,” she asks in a low voice.

It sparks something in me that I never knew was there.

“Sunny,” I turn to her, voice cold as it ever has been, “just leave me alone, alright?”

Her eyes widen, but she listens to me, thankfully.

Luck doesn't seem to be on my side, because Sooyoung saunters over just a few minutes after we reach the bus stop.

I love the girl, but she's far too nosy for her own good.

“Delete that now, Sooyoung,” I tell her when I see her pointing the camera in my direction, “I'm not in the mood for you and your pictures.”

I see Sooyoung try to ask Sunny about me, but I ignore them and sulk in my seat. I just want to be left alone, why can't they understand that?

“Alright, calm down,” she says, sitting next to me. I hate it when people tell me to calm down. She shoves the camera screen in front of me and deletes the picture. “Deleted, see?”

“Thanks,” I mumble. I force out an apology. I know I'm being a jerk, but god, couldn't I have one off day? The concerned look on their faces made me feel a little bad, so I try to explain myself anyway. “I haven't been in the greatest mood lately.”

“We've noticed,” Sunny says quietly. I frown and avoid eye contact with either of them. The last thing I need right now is a guilt trip.

“We all get in these moods, Taeyeon-ah. It's okay, we're you're friends. We understand.”

For some reason, her words make me mad all over again, and I can feel myself start to lose my filter. “No, you don't understand.” I want to leave it at that, but I know they won't let it be.

“What do you mean?” Sunny asks quietly, as if she's afraid of my reaction. It makes me feel guilty again. My friends are just concerned about me, and it almost makes me want to tell them everything—Jessica, Yoona...everything.

“It's nothing.”

But now is not the time.

“I'm just going to walk home. The bus is late anyway.”

“It's freezing, Taeyeon,” Sooyoung tries to stop me.

I can't be around people right now. I need to get away.

“The walk will warm me up, and I think it'll clear my head.” I internally begged them to just let it be.

“But--”

“Just stop and mind your own ing business, Sooyoung.” I finally let myself say. They both stare at me with wide eyes, and all I want to do in that moment is run.

“What? Taeyeon--”

“You too, Sunny.” I breathe in deeply to try to calm myself. “You two wouldn't understand.”

“We're just trying to help!” Sooyoung shouts at me.

I turn to glare at her. Why can't she take a damn hint? “You know what Sooyoung? Why don't you go and shove that stupid camera up your nosy and just let me be?”

“Taeye—yah! Kim Taeyeon!” I can hear Sunny yelling at me, but I know that if I stay, then it'll only get worse. I can apologize later, I tell myself.

But right now? I just need to be alone.

The next day I met up with the both of them and apologized. I made up a lie about how my parents have been giving me a lot of pressure about school and college and my future and they seemed to believe me. I told the same lie to Yoona, and she told me she understood.

It's not a complete lie. My parents really are giving me a lot of stress at home.

I shake my head and stare at the acceptance letter in front of me.

Maybe a fresh start will be good for me.

A/N: Finally picking this up again a year later. The prologue just connects the events to it's sister story Pictures of You. Rest assured, the rest of the story will be a lot lighter and fluffier. Don't know how often this will be updated. However, the outline is mostly done, so you can expect six chapters (possibly more if I feel like continuing this, but it's unlikely).

As much of a mess everything has been, I hope everyone's enjoyed the girls' 10th anniversary. Somehow, everytime I believe I'm done with kpop, the girls pull me back in.