1 month. 

2 month..

3 month...

I don't know how long i can survive without him and i'm regretting for not saving him on time.. It's.. all my fault, i'll pay what i have done and soon enough i can get together with him in the other world. Chae Hyungwon, only for you.. I'm All In.

-

It's just a normal day in our university with busy lecturer and rushing students everywhere, but i guess not for my class. With all the screaming fangirls from the corridor to the door of my class, it's just my luck that I'm always early before i have to encounter those.. urm, i don't have a proper words to say but yeah. 

If you are wondering who was the one that make almost all the girls in school screaming, it's Chae Hyungwon. The students' body and president of Modelling and Grooming Club, which explained his slim and tall image as well as the handsome looks. Unfortunately, me and my closest friend, Yerim, weren't interested in him. I mean, she have her boyfriend which is also Hyungwon's friend, Wonho. 

It's not that i don't like Hyungwon neither he like me, we know each other since high school and i watched him grow from nerd to handsome guy, from the far of course. Just that, we have never interact for once except helping our teachers or group project. 

So when the school bells ring with the lecturer coming in and the groaning of the girls' to head off to their respective classses, guess it's finally a peace moment before the lunch break. It was also unlucky that Hyungwon was sitting in front of me among all but at least Yerim is beside me. 

Never once i see the school was fun. Never once i see my classmates were good. Never once i see the classes was interesting. Never once-- 

"Min Yura ssi," i was snapped out by the voice of my lecturer while daydreaming. Not the first time but the worse time where the whole class was staring at me. "Are you listening?" he asked but i replied with the awkward laugh and shaking my head.

Well, it was just nice the bell just rang for the lunch time and all the students were running to the cafeteria. Except me, i just flopped myself on the table with Yerim's judgment face. 

"What were you been thinking? You know we gonna have group project soon before graduation and it's group of two, Yura. Especially..." she said while leaning her head on the table to look at me. "Especially what," i asked with my blank face, trying to think of the possible answer that she will answer back. "We are not allowed to partner with same gender.. I mean, our class have the equal number of guys and girls which make our lecturer think we should mix for the final project and urm, i guess you wasn't listening during the briefing.. Urm, me and Wonho is gonna pair up for this and you should ask around to pair with. Guys, remember alright. I'll go my lunch first and call me if you need anything," she get up before waving at me while leaving for her lunch with her boyfriend. 

Pairing with a guy for a final project have never.. Again, have never once pop in my mind today. I groaned while sitting straight on my seat while looking at the book on my table, thinking who would be the possible one for me to work and study with. Urgh, the noises of the girls in the class have suddenly surrounded around his table. Yes, him, Chae Hyungwon. 

Full of chocolate, snacks, drinks and even flower surrounded. It was so loud for me to take in especially in class, i just slammed the table and stand up before staring at the girls which also make him turn his back abit to look. 

"If you guys don't mind, it's lunch time and please go ahead to have your tummy full than screaming in class. Please mind you guys are not the only one here and i need to have peaceful moment in class," said in the most 'nicest' way i can but unfortunately it doesn't affected them and one of them walked towards me and poke on my shoulder hard. "Excuse you who wasn't even listening in class today, we are trying to ask our Hyungwon to choose to be his partner for our project," she said while poking my shoulder hard and hey, it's hurt but I'm trying to hold in my anger and sarcastic laugh before pushing her hand away. 

"Why don't you ask after school? There is plenty of time if I'm not wrong, to ASK directly and quietly outside," indirect sarcasm in the sentence which literally offended her. Scoffed loudly which also made almost all the girls little bit mad and raise her hand up to slap my face. I was prepared and close my eyes but there was nothing happened. I opened my eyes to see Hyungwon, yes Chae Hyungwon, directly in front of me and his hand was on her hand to stop anything that going directly towards me. 

For once, i was protected by him. For once, this distance of us is close and for once.. 

"She is right, you guys are not the only one here and i stayed in class because i need a peaceful time from all the screaming everyday. I'm tired okay? Leave the class now and have your lunch while i have mine here, alone," he said while slowly letting go of the hand and turn around to face me. 

Okay, for that sudden close of us and his face looking at me, i wasn't prepared for that and my cheek suddenly blushed. Hyungwon smiled and look at the other classmates and said "You guys are fighting over each other who to partner with but i have made up my mind before you guys come and surrounded yourself around my table," he turned his head to look at me and still smiling which make me nervous and scared of what words gonna come out from his mouth. 

"Min Yura, i choose you to be my partner for our final project and i don't care if you don't want. You are still gonna be my partner no matter what."

Guess my world have clashed down in front of everyone. Not long that the lunch time was over,  i frozen on my seat while staring at the board with laser eyes from all the girls. Unexpectedly but yeah, i was left speechless and his words was really strong plus demanding that i can't say no. 

Even my best friend found out along with her boyfriend, both of them was left speechless too. Especially when she told me what Wonho said about Hyungwon. 

"Hyungwon have never once talked to a girl or even what he heard, protecting you from getting a slap. Wonho was there almost everything even his breakdown but something have make him open up. I guess it's you? I don't know, try to talk to him since you two have confirmed to be partner."

1 week.

2 week..

3 week...

Three weeks passed by that quick and we have never once talked for our project. Till i realised, we did not even started anything except me standing by some stuff in case needed for the project. It's awkward for me and him to talk personally or anything between us.

Until the forth week during lunch time and no one in the class except me and him. He cleared his throat loudly for me to notice and he turned his back to face me before asking, "Urm hey.. I know it's kind of 'very' late now but are you free today? I mean for our project.." It's my first time after a while he spoken a month ago and his shy action by scratching his neck while smiling. 

I swear to god, this is the cutest thing i ever witnessed about him ever since our high school. I mean yeah, especially when i accidentally run into him and his 'girlfriend outside, i mean no he didn't saw me but i saw him. I was like grinning a little bit before checking my schedule book and nods slightly. 

"Yeah, I'm free today and later but not at night. I mean, finally you asked and I'm sorry i can't even ask first too if you are free to do the project.. I have prepared some notes and slides for back up especially need your point of view and idea.." I felt like an idiot talking and stammering some of my words. This is so not me but thankfully he nodded back and slide a small note before turning back to his place while one by one coming back in the class. 

"Let's meet at the cafe in front of the campus at 4.30pm - Hyungwon"

4.30pm. 

4.35pm.. 

4.45pm... 

4.55pm and he is still not here yet. Okay fine, I'll just finish up what i need in my laptop while drinking my cafe latte until i heard a noises outside and a suspicious person coming towards me. A mask and hoodies covering himself and casually sitting in front of me while his back facing the outside before removing his mask and revealing himself. Oh it's just him, i was almost preparing my fist but well too bad. Late almost half an hour but he was apologizing tons of times and scratching neck. 

All i just do was just past a iced americano that i ordered in advance and let him see the slides without a words. No, I'm not mad but maybe my action showed i am. Maybe I'm just too tired but Hyungwon noticed it. He take his clutch and took out something and put it in front of me and smile shyly before cotninue back to do some work in the slides. 

It was a small bear keychain and i was wondering how did he know i like bear and a keychain type. "I know what you are thinking but thank to your best friend for some small tip.. Didn't mean to offend you but hope you like it," he said while finishing and saving the works before closing the laptop as he gave back to me. 

"I--" we both said at the same time but i insisted him to say first. "Yura, i know this is really awkward for us and I'm sure i know we both are classmate ever since our high school days till now and haven't spoken anything. So, all i just want is that.." Shyly again scratching his neck while smiling and looking at me. I'm afraid and nervous of what is he gonna say next and what am i supposed to say after he finished. 

"Shall we be friend? I want to know and get close with you more."

I was stunned of what he said and i was unknowingly blushing. I just nodded in agreement and smiled. That's how we began, our small step of our friendship and closeness.

1 week.

2 week..

3 week...

And the forth week we finished our project with some fun and still little awkwardness. We submitted our works earlier than anyone which surprised us but our lecturer told us to have early holiday which made me excited like little girl and without knowing i was hugging Hyungwon. 

Cleared my throat and pulled back the hugs before stammering to think where shall go since we get to go home or free times now. "Urm, i was thinking.. Can we go to amusement park? It's been a while for me, i mean a long time for me to go there," i asked in awkward way but he just simply smiled and ruffled my hair, "Of course we can. Maybe a day for us to have fun and get more closer? It's a month we have been talking and getting close but i guess I'm not the only one who can feel the little awkwardness between us, right?"

It's true and it's not just only him who feel it. But I'm still frozen on the spot until i felt a warmth on my hand and saw his hand holding onto mine before pulling me and walking out of the campus with the eyes of all the girls who just witnessed this scene. 

Grabbed a cab and immediately went to the amusement park in no time. Especially when i didn't even noticed when did he bought the ticket in that quick but i was interrupted with his voice, "Stop daydreaming Yura, it's happening and come on. Don't mind me but i don't want you to be lost and out of my sight."

Hold my hand tight and pulling me into the park which make my heart skipped a beat with his sincere action and words. Chuckles softly by myself and smiled while holding his hand back which also make him look at our hand before smiling and walked fast. 

1 hour.

2 hours..

3 hours...

We almost take every ride at the amusement park especially a short break by eating some snack on the vendor and little time at the cafe together. Take note again, i wanted to let go of his hand once but he.. Hyungwon, Chae Hyungwon still hold my hand tight like one precious holding onto his life. 

Left with one ride and that is the ferris wheel. One of the few biggest ferris wheel around and the ride take roughly an hour but for once it's always been my dream to ride it again ever since when i was young and last visit to the park. 

"Hyungwon, let's take that and we are done for today hmm?" I asked or maybe i said to him and he was grinning and nodding before we joined the short queue which not much people and it's evening now. Not for long, we board on one of the cabin and it's suited for four people inside but he asked for just two of us. 

So, the ride was little bit awkward and the tension was a bit strong because we were like just sitting in front of each other but staring outside the window. "I--" again we said at the same time but this time he let me speak first. 

"We know each other since high school but we only become friends on our final year in university. But let you know.. Today is the best day i can ever dream and enjoy it, especially with you," i said shyly while playing with my finger and looking down as i talked. Hyungwon smiled and put his hand on my chin before lifting it up to make me look at him. Caressing my cheek and my heart started to beat lite faster than expected and he began, "Me too. Nothing can expressed how much i appreciate this moment with you and the fun time we had. I would like to confess and it's been a while i have been keeping inside. No one know, not even my closest friend."

Hyungwon lean in and closer towards my face to give a peck on my lips. That's it, my first kiss had officially taken by him. I blushed so hard that my red cheek is showing obviously and i avoided his eyes but not till he said,

"I have been watching you ever since our first day of our university. Your name, have been echoing in my head and made me remembered that we have been same class for so many years from high school till now. Each and everyday, i always see you first when i entered the class with hat little frown of yours as i realised you are not like one of those girls who trying to get my attention but instead, it was me who trying to seek your attention to me. Unfortunately i'm not that brave to approach you first and I'm afraid of rejection. Maybe fate must make me get close thru our final project and maybe it was a good time to catch your attention by protecting you from the girls. But i want to cut this short and straightforward, i don't need the answer immediately if you can't decide but i will wait. Min Yura, will you be my girlfriend..?"

My tears falled and my heart dropped each words he said with sincerely. I was crying because of the sweet confession i ever received. Closed my eyes and slowly nodded before cupping his cheek to pull him into a soft kiss and pulled back after a while. 

"Yes.. You don't have to wait because i do have a same feeling with you. You make me feel protected and developed a crush on you ever since the day you stop that girl from slapping me. I mean, i was prepared to get it but wasn't prepared by you. I wanted to be close with you ever since our first day too but because of all the girls and my pride, i can't and i'm afraid of rejection too. But now, you confessed and i want to confess in return. Yes, i want to be your girlfriend and always waiting to be yours."

Both of us were literally laughing while our tears falling down to our cheek and wiping each other. He sit next to me and give a long hugs while resting his head on my shoulder while whispering a thank softly. Luckily we are still in the middle and above from the ground and few more minutes before we get off the ride. Hyungwon pulled back the hugs while caressing me little wet cheek and kissed my lips which also make me kiss him back. For a while, after the little kiss and resting on his shoulder while he rest on the top of my head, staring outside the window together. 

Best day, best time and best moment i can ever dreamt of. Especially with unexpected person that both of us know, two of us were really unexpectedly together. Until we reached the ground and get off from the ride, he hold my hand and we walked out the park before waving for a cab. 

After a while from the ride and reached at my house, he gave me a peck on my forehead and i smiled before getting off from the cab and watched him go first as i slowly walked backward. 

But the happiness wasn't last for long. The girls in the campus knows about us and one by one slowly threatened me yet i choose to ignore it. 

1 week.

2 weeks..

A month...

Just more than a month passed by and few more weeks before the official graduation. I was badly affected, by the girls who threatened me to break up with Hyungwon especially my own classmates. I was depressed and he know it, which doesn't stop him from staying by my side. He know about it but he tried to protect me from them yet.. They can't accept the facts about the relationship of us. 

Someday, Hyungwon stayed overnight at my place temporary and we had some argument sometimes. Fight.. Threatened letters.. Indirect insulted.. 

Our fight getting stronger and worsen, with our mistrust and misunderstood feeling. But i won't stop, he won't stop but we made up somehow and we decided to have a break till the end of our graduation day. 

He left.. Just like that, with his packed clothes in his bag and left the house by slamming it loudly. That's it, we just broke up for a while. My worse nightmare, with my knee gave in and slammed on the floor while breaking down and crying. Hyungwon was still at the door, hearing my cries and he cried too. 

"I'm sorry. Only for you, I'm all in but for now I'm a coward who can't be your hero to protect you. To the day i will see you again. Min Yura, i love you.."

Gently tap the door before leaving the place. From that day onwards, i have never heard any news from him ever again. Not even in school, just walked past like we don't know each other. The news spread as fast as the butter can go, they don't feel the happiness that Hyungwon is single now because.. Both of us haven't been doing well, skipped meals and lack of sleep which make both of our best friends realised how we have been doing were almost the same. 

i missed her/him

Our mind and heart still missing but we promised by the end of the graduation day. 

1 week.

2 weeks..

3 weeks...

This is it, our graduation day. Everyone were happily smiling and hugging each other, knowing that they will miss each other but not for me. Only one person in my mind and i can never seen him anyway, not even Wonho or Yerim. All of us have taken our certificate but not him. The weird feeling and it can't get off my mind, what if anything happened to him. I helped take his certificate and begged Wonho for Hyungwon's address before i ran to grab a cab after received it. 

Run down house, that was the first thing i see once I'm out of the cab. My eyes forming a tears but it couldn't let it fall. Gently and softly, entering the house with full of the flowers around. But my leg naturally walking toward the unexpected room with the door left ajar. 

Pushing the door softly and shocked of what i just saw. Dropped the book of certificate and with my hand covering my mouth as my legs give in till my knees slammed on the floor. 

I was too late. Too late and watched him drowned in the tub of water with the last bubbles. My heart dropped and i can't imagine living without him. 

I got up and remove my graduation robe before walking toward the tub and touch on the edge while walking. Only for him, i decided to make up my mind and i gently let myself into the tub and hugs him in top of him. With my hand holding on to his hand tightly, i slowly slide myself into the water more and let myself drowned by it. 

To another world with you now. That is the only way for me to get back with you. Chae Hyungwon, only for you.. I'm all in, i love you.. 

Not for long that Hyungwon moved his hand and tighten his grip with your hand. He opened his eyes in shook and quickly removed his head from the water only to realise i am still with him without breathing. 

Panicking but softly, he carried me in bridal way and walked out of the house to walk near the street to the hospital. But he was weak, the side effect have taken over him while walking yet his determination to save you is strong and was to be together with you again. 

"I love you.."

Was the last words spoken out from his mouth with sincere but soft before he fainted halfway with you at the side. Without separating the grip of both hands holding each other.

For once, i was called from your love to be a fighter and i'm willing to fight for love and to go all in to protect you. 

The last words spoken in Hyungwon's mind before his eyes closed, without bothering what was going on outside his mind except the hand of mine.

The End