(A/N anxiety -  a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

 synonyms: worry, concern, apprehension, apprehensiveness, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, fear, disquiet, disquietude, inquietude, perturbation, agitation, angst, misgiving, nervousness, nerves, tension, tenseness;)

You had anticipated the day for the past week now. Your nervousness getting the best of you. You were trying to swallow the lump in your throat that had caused you to be this way. Your anxiety getting the best of you the day of, and when it came to your seventh hour all you wanted to do was hide. maybe die as well.

It may have seemed ridiculous, or stupid about how you were self-destructing because of your anxiety to stand in front of the class with sehun, but it wasn’t, the anxiety was a real thing. Stage fright was a real thing. And when it came down to the minutes before you were to rise up in front of the class, you were like a ticking time bomb ready to explode, into a panic attack that is.

(A/N panic attack -  a sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety.

You and Sehun stood at front of the class, you felt so nervous. You looked down as Sehun stood beside you loading up the power point from seonsangnim’s podium. On top of your anxiety, there was tension of hate and whatever else was between you two. But that wasn’t of your worry’s right now. You hated speaking in front of crowds, classes, people in general. It was one of your weakness.

The class was staring at you two intensely. all 24 pairs of eyes, 25 including seonsangnim, was staring watching your every move They were waiting for you to start, so all you could was look down. you always hated how people stared, it got under your skin and it pissed you off. "Whenever you’re ready." Your history teacher said from the back.

Sehun looked at you, as if you were the one that was supposed to do the talking. You quickly froze.

 "Are you alright Mrs. Oh?" seonsangnim asked

That anxiety you always had when you were Young was creeping back, you hadn't had it in a while and you felt like you might pass out.

No one answered.

"Who's starting?" he called from the back.

You were about to cry, you were about to do the unthinkable, desperate times call for desperate measures, and you looked at Sehun for help. You hated to depend on him but you absolutely had No choice. You were about to have an anxiety/panic attack.

Sehun looked at you like you were insane he wasn’t going to help you? He was going to leave you there to die and drown in your own misery? Was this pay back for all the things you’ve done and said to him lately? Did he forget about your anxiety, did he really shut you out completely? Did sehun Forget everything about you? If he did you understood, but you weren’t going to let it go if he left you here to melt in front of the class. There would be a war at stake.

Seonsangnim’s throat cleared as, you looked up to see everyone looking at you like you were dumb. The class chatted amongst themselves, until seonsangnim shushed them.

Sehun's eyes opened wide as he looked at you and caught on, he started to immediately talk, and present, while your hands started to sweat and violently shake. Sehun, taking a notice of this pulled you into him as he continues to talk causally to the class, he rubbed small circles on your back to calm you down. This, was something he used to do to help you when you were about to freak out, and when his hand came into contact with your skin you instantly calmed down. As he went to the next slide he whispers in your ear only for you to hear. "It's OK Ana breath." And he continued to talk.

He gave you reassuring glances as the power point went on. You felt so stupid. Why couldn't you be normal. You hated yourself and you hated that you let Sehun do the talking just because you were not capable.

Sehun stopped rubbing your back but he still kept you close with his arm around your waist. You tried to avoid eye contact with everyone to hide further embarrassment. As the PowerPoint came to an end and the class clapped. The bell rung and everyone poured out leaving you two to clean up.

"Ana, are you OK?" The teacher said after everyone poured out.

 "Yeah she just has trouble with talking in front of crowds she has really bad anxiety." Sehun said before you could speak. “she did most the work anyways, so please don't give her low marks because I did the whole presentation.”

 The teacher looked at Sehun with a smile. "It's okay I'm just glad time see you two getting along."

Sehun eyes jumped out his sockets. " we weren't, I just...she..." he stuttered. The teacher just laughed and exited the class.

You were astounded by how Sehun still knew you so well even if you had changed. He still knew how to comfort and calm you down. He still knew how to piss you off when he wanted too. He still knew how to get under your skin when you were trying so hard to push him out. You just didn't get it. You hated it. You hated him for it.

You turned to sehun.

"Don't think that just because you were nice time me, things will change." You let slip.

 Sehun looked at you with disbelief and then he looked taken aback. "Did you seriously think I was going to do that? Sorry but news flash I'm Happy how our relationship is, if I had it my way I wouldn't want anything to do with you."

His words went straight to the heart. You really needed to stop and learn not to play with fire. You were only going to get burned. You know you created that monster and now you had to live with that monster. You broke Oh Sehun and now he was just as bitter as you were. Maybe not the Same reasons but he was. And now here you are trying to tell him off, only to be shot down because he got you good. And what now you wanted to cry? You wanted to wither away because of the monster you created said he wanted to nothing to do with you? But didn’t you tell him he was better off dead last week? And you can't take this one?

The tears started to form in your eyes and now you were speechless. The one and only Oh Sehun had got you good where you couldn’t even respond to him. Little did he know you were vulnerable right now because your heart hadn’t slowed down from your anxiety, it was going to take you a while to recover.

Before they could fall you started to walk out. He blocked your way. And the meanness disappeared from his face.

 "Move. " you said sternly.

 "No I want to talk about how I just hurt you." He said with gentleness in his tone.

"Hurt me good, hurt me more, I don't care." You yelled.

"No I'm sorry there should be a limit to how we say things." You looked at him irritated.

"Somehow I'm finding your amusement in this. You saying you hurt me, and me not denying it. Well I think it’s only fair to say I wish the Same thing. I wish I wasn't your sister I wish I didn't look like you and I sure as he'll wish I never met you!"

That was all true because you wouldn't be feeling this way towards him. you wouldn’t be feeling like something was wrong with you and that you were disgusting.

"Ana please. " he said as if he was tired, like literally. 

"No." And you pushed past him.

There had to be a way out. You wanted out of this with Sehun. You didn't want to like your brother. You had to find a way, no matter how much it hurt you. Kris, you were going to find Kris.

Kris looked at you like he couldn't believe the words that were coming out your mouth. You found him in the hallway by his locker, and you said this Exactly.

" Kris I need to you to make love to me."

OK now Kris was just innocently trying to push his books in his locker but your statement had caused him to drop them all, hitting his foot, which caused pain then confusion, to denial to what you had just said.

He didn’t want to ask you, or even repeat the words you just said so he said…

"MWO? " he said looking at you like you lost your marbles. You were dying inside. You were desperate. You couldn't do Luhan he only made you think of Sehun. So, the next best thing….

"Ana why are you asking such things in school?" He said whispering.

Trying to be bold and confident. You thought you were.

"Do you not want me?" You said dying more inside.

You didn't want that to be the case.

 "I....I" he stuttered.

You were about to cry again, so you decided to turn away, kind of more like run. When you got outside you ran down the block of the school. And then something grabbed you in their arms.

"Ana stop what's going on why are you aski