A year has passed, 

 

it’s a new year for them. Jeonghan has been working at the company which he’d dreamt before. He lives so well after a year. Although he is busy, he will always find a way and time to meet up with some friends from his university and school. Sometimes he get a hangout with Jihoon or Wonwoo and Soonyoung. But he never try to call a friend who living abroad, who used to be his best-friend. Because of his mistake, it feels awkward to have a call, even he doesn't know what topic he should brag later. He also never has a call with a senior that close to his ex, Hyojung. He is afraid enough to call her. 

 

He is afraid yet curious at the same time. He had ever tried to have a call with that girl, but the connection was out of reach. As though the phone was off, or probably she changed her number. He let out a heavy sigh in the end, dropping his shoulder as he loses a hope of reaching the latter. He is only curious about her story. 

 

Right at the moment, he spins his pen around, ignoring all the chattering behind him, ignoring the noise of bumping glass at the back which mixes with the sound of music his friends play on. He lets his thought roaming alone to the point of nowhere. Being busy and surrounded by people he loves and visa versa, it helps to distract him and drag him to go on living. He shall not be stuck at the place he find no hand to help him standing on his feet. He tends to move on though his heart does otherwise. 

 

Jihoon and Soonyoung help him many times to get on the blind dates but he always remains be a gentlemen for them and tells them to find a better man for themselves, eventually the girls only become his friends, no more than ‘friend’ status. Wonwoo scolds him many times to overcome his heartbreak though it’s an aftermath of his actions and her amnesia. Besides, he doesn't mope about only her, but also his friendship with Joshua, a friendship he cherishes the most. 

 

“Joshua will be at Seoul tomorrow,” a calm voice of Wonwoo snaps him out. The male seats beside him, pouring a wine to himself and Jeonghan, “shall we pick him?” 

 

Jeonghan doesn't answer. He doesn't know what words he should spill to the latter, how to react — he solely nods then stays silent. 

 

Wonwoo let out a hollow chuckle. “You don’t want to see him?” 

 

He darts his eyes to the glass. “I just…don’t know how to react.” 

 

“You and Joshua are like a couple who has been breakup for a silly reason — well the fact you and he fell in love with the same person then get awkward because of your unwise action,” Wonwoo scoffs. 

 

Both of them fall in silent gradually, not wanting to talk more about the sensitive matter. Jeonghan starts to drink what Wonwoo’s poured before. 

 

“I can’t move on from her,” Jeonghan breaks the ice as he puts down the glass, “it’s my mistake and I admit how regretful I am now…” he pauses, “I can’t contact her.” 

 

“Have you check on her SNS?” 

 

Jeonghan gives a quick nod. “There is no update about her.” 

 

“Hyojung noona? Have you asked her?” 

 

Again, he give a quick answer by a headshake. “I’m afraid.” 

 

“Why?” His tone becomes tense and cold in the same time, gives some shivers to Jeonghan’s spine and alters their mood quickly. 

 

“The last time I met her, I ruined it…and thanks to Hyojung noona, I could meet her that time but I’ve ruined it.” 

 

“How? You met Shinbi again?” He snickers silently which confounds the latter who glaring at him. “Oh, c’mon, you’d ruined your relationship because of your affair, okay?” 

 

Jeonghan can not dispute about it, because it’s the saddest fact of his life. “Should we talk about it for the nth times?” 

 

Wonwoo bobs his head and zips his mouth to not scold him any longer. 

 

“I was being quiet and reluctant to talk longer. I had no topic to talk with her,” Jeonghan tells, “how…” Wonwoo leaves him out of sudden because of a call. He is flabbergasted at some point. Perhaps it’s a kind of rejection from people to hear Jeonghan’s side after the silly action he did in the past. They still hide their fury inside because they have no right to judge him, they try hard to be a neutral party yet they always tend towards her side than his. By some reasons, they can not cope with his fling. Also even though they experienced a same case with Jeonghan, they believed to not approach their exes because it’s their fault for cheating behind their lovers. Probably if they were sincerely sorry of what they’ve done, they could make a baby steps of approaching them back without any awkwardness. But in Jeonghan’s case, they ought to be silent instead of spilling something that they will regret later. I know it guys, it’s hard. 

 

Suddenly his phone vibrates, a message is received. 

 

Her. 

 

Please meet up this Saturday, 02.17 pm

 

He tries to call her again, yet there is no answer as though she quickly turns off her phone after sending a message. Jeonghan let out a sigh escaped as he slips back his phone to his pocket. Now he begins to worry about his meeting with her. 

 

❅

 

It’s a day where he will meet her. She gives no update about where they should meet up after the lunch. He only roams his car around the city but suddenly he gets a message from Hyojung to meet her immediately. Jeonghan wants to avoid her in order to do a meet up with Seungin firstly yet the latter doesn't give any update so he prefers to meet her best friend at first. He instantly turns his wheel to run on different path. He is going to meet Hyojung. 

 

.

.

.

 

As soon he arrives there, he just find Joshua. Yeah Joshua. He just find his called-best-friend standing there as if he want to welcome yet his expression tells otherwise. 

 

“I thought you’re Hyojung noona,” he blurts out. Jeonghan frowns. “I thought she was here,” he replies. Joshua merely shrugs his shoulder and steps inside the waiting room. He solely follows behind him, seating across him as he observes the place. Both of them hesitate, unsure of what words to say as a ice-breaker, so they end up breathe only inside the waiting room. Also both of them synchronously bend down their heads. The hour never stops to move forward. Joshua starts to become worry and fidget his finger against the table. 

 

“She is not on time,” Joshua scoffs. Jeonghan nods. “How’s life?” 

 

Jeonghan shrugs. “Fine as usual. How about yours?” 

 

“Nothing much. Go in and go out, be there, be here. Nothing special,” he replies as he waves his hand dismissively. Jeonghan sighs. 

 

“At least you get back to States,” he says. Joshua looks away. “But she is not there,” he directly utters, taking a sharp answer to shut the latter’s lips because he was really lonely without her. Jeonghan understands his situation, so he continues to be quiet until a lady ushers them to get to another room. 

 

There… they see Hyojung in black suit as if she is mourning of a person. The lady beckons them to sit them across her, they sit down at the spot they ushered priorly and waiting for her word. A senior that they’ve known for these last year who sit in front of them is utterly different than a senior who beaming widely every time she met people. Her expression tells something that Joshua and Jeonghan can never figure out. 

 

“Noona,” Joshua utters silently as he tries to get her attention. At once she lifts up and turn to see them. She pulls a weak smile. Next move, she makes a way to place a frame aside. 

 

“How’s…” Joshua hesitantly attempts to ask something which he and Jeonghan have in their mind synchronically. 

 

“Me? Well, better for other days but not with this date,” she responds, making both of them exchange glance in confusion. Jeonghan his head to the side. “What’s wrong?” 

 

“I’m sorry … but you have to know right now,” she remarks, her eyes roam the room as she reminisces someone who ever used the room, “she once used this room…she dreamt being a owner of this room before Mrs. Kim let me to be a successor.” 

 

Joshua’s expression becomes unreadable as if he thinks about something that he’s never imagined before. While Jeonghan mutes, wondering about bad scenarios in his head - though his look be desolated. Eyes start skimming around the room, breath becomes slowly heard as silence settles down in the midst of reunion, heartbeat goes faster as they think the worst scene of their reunion. 

 

“Today is a day when last year Seungin has passed away,” a high gaps let out from her, a silent weep is vaguely heard - both of men are stunned right away. It is a sad joke - well though it’s a bad news, in their heads, Hyojung seemed making a bad joke of her own best-friend. 

 

“No, you…” Joshua stutters, “you’re kidding with us, noona….” he is trembling between saying a offence, “Seungin noona is fine.” He cracks an awkward laugh. Jeonghan sits still as he recalls the last time they met. She looked pale that day. Yeah, she was too pale. 

 

“Joshua…” Jeonghan grabs him unconsciously, making him to stay still. Yet he instantly brushes it away dismissively. 

 

“No, Jeonghan, she’s kidding with us right now.” Joshua retaliates. His voice gets hoarser as he laughs awkwardly and wait for his rage bursting at once. He pants. “You’re kidding with us, tell me where is Seungin noona now? She is promising us to meet up,” he adds. 

 

Jeonghan closes his eyes in despair. If only the meet up is arranged by her - by Seungin, she perhaps has a purpose for building back the friendship which ever ended before. But it’s a trick from Hyojung to tell a bad news… he is not ready, not ever once he is ready to hear the news. It has been a year and if it’s true, why no one talks about her. Why everything seems quiet? 

 

He rises and approach her, bending down on his knees, he stares into Hyojung’s sad eyes. “Noona, please tell us the truth,” Jeonghan begs. 

 

She darts her eyes upon Jeonghan. He literally reads all the emotion lingering through that eyes. Yearning and sadness is mixed up. “She’s gone, Jeonghan…all your friends that she knew, they’ve just known it…yesterday through Mrs. Kim.” 

 

Jeonghan keeps laying his eyes on her. It’s unbelievable for him - though that he can not believe her story all once, he still feels unsure about it. “Where’s her grave if you tell us the truth?” 

 

Suddenly Joshua grabs him to make a distance with her. “Don’t fall into her joke…” 

 

“Josh! Noona is never joking with us!” He shouts, between fear and cold-headed state, he composes himself to not believe it yet he doesn't want Joshua to make a scene when the atmosphere between them is beyond the expectation. The latter scowls. 

 

They pant in fear. Not wanting to argue any longer just in case they don’t want to make a fight on her office room. Joshua almost steps out if Jeonghan doesn’t pull him gently to sit back. He makes an eye-contact, beckoning him to stay calm and listen what she offers to them. He obeys it right away. Jeonghan flicks his eyelashes slowly, bending his head low as a tear unknowingly falls down. 

 

“Tell us about her…tell us where she is buried,” a crack in his sound as Jeonghan begs to her. 

 

She mutes, on the other hand she takes a remote, plays a video on her wall. The room becomes dark at once, someone coughs hard once the video is played behind. 

 

“Hello my dearest…there must be Hyojung with you all..” Jeonghan can not bear the yearning within him, the girl he used to love - she looked very pale in the video, “i’m sorry for not letting you know in the first place…” 

 

A tear rolls down freely on Joshua’s cheek. He feels something unreal before his eyes. 

 

“When you see this video, I’m no longer living on this earth, sweetheart…I’m missing you all but I can’t reach you anymore, isn’t it sad? I hate my life to be unable to live longer…don’t find me anymore…you should go on living, right?”

 

A pang inside his heart, it slowly punctures, making a hole inside - the big one, as a mark how the longing will be rested there. Both of the males start to shed their tears secretly. No one makes a sound of watery nose or sobbing. They watch in silence. 

 

“Sorry…I’m sorry for not being able to make a beautiful memories for you, Jeonghan and Joshua…it’s a nice memory when we’re together…I’m sorry for being a fool to get amnesia when we met that times, after our breakup…I’m sorry for not being able to recognise you, love..” 

 

She knew. She remembered it. It’s a sad part for him to not be there when she recollected all the memories of them. He regrets it today. 

 

“Joshua, my dearest, sorry for not being healthy for you..I’m sorry for breaking your heart like this…sorry for breaking your friendship with Jeonghan… sorry for being a slave of love which made you both apart.” 

 

She was sorry when it’s not her fault. It was no one’s fault. It was just a foolish act. Joshua knew, it would not be worse when she did not get amnesia and did not remember Joshua previously before he decided to stay by her side. He made her get used of his companion. 

 

Joshua face-palms himself, strives to hold back his tears though it is impossible because he is a crying mess right now. His heart sinks as the play continues on. All the words - all the feeling overwhelms them currently, they can not stop weeping. He should have been there for her that time, however he was being left eventually. 

 

Meantime Jeonghan has a different condition. He was used to be awaited at the cafe. She offered a chance to talk more. She perhaps offered more time for both of them to enjoy before the time seized her. But he misused it. He regrets it all at this moment. If only he could turn back the times, he would accompany every second she cherishing back then. Yet it’s too belated. 

 

❅

 

It is already afternoon but the sun is still shyly shining its light behind a cloud. It is already afternoon but a morning cold still lingers around. Joshua even tightens his coat, pulls it again after wind and coldness bother him to hide inside his long coat. His pace is in a rush. After stepping on the deserted beach, he wanders his eyes to find a figure he knows. He sighs. It is a big beach yet people deserts it for unknown reason, he can not find his best-friend. He pulls out his phone as he keeps walking hurriedly. 

 

“Where are you?” 

 

“Somewhere…” Joshua sighs again, he knows that letter is weeping right now. Perhaps he will cry out loudly because he misses her. He can not blame him. It is not his fault. He only wasted a chance that she ever proffered. And Joshua was dense enough to notice her act which likely a farewell. An act which she did to not let him worrying over her even a few days before she passed away. 

 

“Look, we are longing for him, don’t be stupid, Jeonghan.” 

 

“I’m already stupid since that time.” 

 

Joshua keeps trying to find him. And there he is. He runs to him, in the same time he hangs up the call. Perhaps he will not mind it at all. 

 

Immediately he seats beside him. “Bro.” 

 

Jeonghan just hums. His eyes still fixes at the sea before, roaming to the thought of her. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Joshua says. 

 

“For what? It is not your fault…it’s mine.” 

 

The latter can see his tears staining obviously on his cheek. Joshua mutes. 

 

“If only…” Jeonghan lets out a heavy sigh. He is speechless - no, he has full of words. He has many  things to say but he can not. No matter how he tries to explain it, it will be never enough to convey how much he misses her, how much he regrets, how much he wants to get back in the time. He can never get enough to deliver his feeling. 

 

Joshua knows it well. Because he feels the same. It is about her. “Though we get back to that time, it remains still,” he opines, “because it’s a deity’s will, bro… though we go back to the time when she still lives, she will find a way to not let us know until the right time after her departure.” 

 

Jeonghan turns to look at him. “Why?” 

 

“Because she cares…because she just doesn't want us to worry about her health,” he answers, “she just wants us to think more about our own future though…” 

 

He pauses. He wants to hold back his tears but he can not do it. It freely drops down. Jeonghan clings a hand upon his shoulder. It is a first time after many days they grow apart. He hugs him in a mutual feeling. They share a same pain - a same longing over one girl. 

 

“Because only she loves us,” Jeonghan whispers wobbly, “as simple as that.” Joshua nods. A second later, they cry in unison. They know though it is hard - they should move on and grow as better person. 

 

Without them knowing, someone watches them carefully and smiling at the sight before her eyes before that person is evaporated into a white dust and a piece of memories. She finally rests in peace.

 

끝