"I love you," Sehun messaged, "I have always loved you." April looked up, seeing him a few feet before her, holding his iPhone 7s that she bought for him as his birthday present. He locked his eyes on hers with a nervous face. The look in his eyes reflected sincerity as he shifted his gaze on his phone, typing something. "You have always been there for me. I have us to have forever." She paused. Forever - that seemed so wrong yet so right in every level.

"I want forever but-" April stopped. No, this was not the time to be pessimistic. She cleared what she just typed and replaced them with an OK. But she could not bear the urge to say those words. She dialed his number, eyes glued to the figure of the tall man.

"I love you too. I love you and I want to be with you. If forever does exist, then, yes, I would want forever. I'd like to marry you and have kids and and do stupid things with you and grow old together but-" April took a deep breath. "But forever does not exist." She forced a smile, gulping. Sehun stood very still, listening to her words as if they were music to his ears. Sad music. But sad music was his favorite.

"It's okay. Let's just be together as long as we still love each other." The thought of her leaving him rushed to his mind, which he quickly shoved it away. "Just until we love each other," he whispered. April tightened her grip on her phone, "That's not what I mean." She knew that she would always loved him. She would never leave him. She could never let him alone.

"We are not immortals. We'll die eventually. I can die in another minute. And when I die, forever will not exist anymore. There will only be tears. The world would only be black or white. There is nothing in between. There is no grey anymore."

"Even when you die, I'll still love you," Sehun's deep voice cracked. The cold surrounding sent him chills. "But I need you to promise me to never leave me, to always stay with me, as long as you still love me. That is enough for me." April smiled at his words. They were parted by the busy road.

"Sure." April looked away to hide her tears. Tears of happiness, if there were such things. "I promise to always love you. But- Winter, aren't promises made to be broken?"

Sehun was quite taken aback. He knew she was realistic and rational but this was beyond his expectation. This was a little too much, at least to him, it was.

"Not our promises, though. We keep our promises close to our heart." His lips formed a thin line. "We will."

"OK then. I'm coming to you. Wait there." April made her steps towards her loved one after making sure that it was safe enough for her to cross the road. Eyes glued to the man who was just three feet before him, she smiled, thinking to herself that this day was finally here. The day she had been waiting for had arrived. No pessimistic thoughts could stop her now. Not anymore. She was the new April Stevens right that moment. The happier one.

"BAM BAM!"

April looked to her left. A lorry was fast zooming towards her. Adrenaline rushed through her body. Damn, she thought. Not now. Her legs were frozen. She wanted to run so badly but she couldn't move.

Sehun looked up from his phone.

CRASH!

"April!" He rushed towards her who was lying on the road, breathless. Pool of blood formed as other people surrounded them. Some called the ambulance. "Is there a doctor here?" No one. "Anyone who can stop the bleeding?" No answer. No one literally knew how. He cursed under his breath. April moved her fingers with all her strength but they only moved an inch.

"I love you," she tried to say. But her words were unclear. He didn't hear her. He was busy trying to stop the bleeding. "I love you," she tried again. He put his two hands into her abdomen, wishing that she would be saved. Little things could help, he thought.

She closed her eyes. She could not make it, she knew it. I love you, she could only think.

April's words were left unheard.

 

-

 

The day was quite normal, except for the fact that a family was moving into the house next to April's. The Greys used to live there before Mr. Grey was promoted to be an executive manager in Singapore. He had three beautiful daughters who kind of looked alike - all with freckles on their chubby cheeks and blue eyes and also plump pink lips. They used to be April's everyday playmates, well, before they were gone. She was alone after that - not that she really cared. April didn't like them very much in the first place. She only played with them because her parents told her to. She hated how Mary, the first daughter would yell when things didn't go her way. She hated how Sally would take her toys by force and never turned them back. She hated how Kelly, the youngest one, would run all day long and disturb people. She hated them all. But April knew that she wasn't wrong for hating them. Hate was a strong expression, her mother would say every time April told her she didn't like the girls. In fact, she never really liked anyone around her age. They were stupid, childish and immature. They only liked to play and not read, while her only interest was reading books. They were in different worlds that would never collide.

"Do you need a hand?" Mrs. Stevens asked the Asian-looking young lady, who seemed too busy scanning the house. The lady turned to her with a small smile and nodded. "Oh Jessica," the lady mouthed her name, holding out her hand for a handshake. "Evelyn Stevens."

"This is my daughter, April." The little girl plastered a big smile on her small face, telling herself to try to like the family. They were going to spend a lot of time together, anyways. "Aw, you are so gorgeous!" Mrs. Oh pinched April's cheeks with her lean fingers. She then called for her only son. The little boy had his NYC cap on, and his face showed no expression at all. "This is Winter. His real name is Sehun but you know, Winter sounds cute to me." The boy eyed his mother with a thin line formed on his lips. He just shook his head. "I am Oh Sehun," he bowed his head. "7 years old, I am." April's gaze was shifted on his grey eyes. They shone like snow during winter. She knew right away why he simply suited the name Winter.

"I'm gonna help them carrying the boxes, okay? You get to know him, alright?" Once the elder women left, they were immediately wrapped in silence. April's lips suddenly felt drier than ever. She looked down to her Gucci shoes, not knowing how to break the ice between them. Sehun followed the trail of her eyes.

"Those shoes are nice, uh-" he paused. He didn't know her name yet.

"April," she said. Sehun noticed how April's cheeks turned red all of the sudden.

"Were you born in April?" She nodded. "I was born in April as well. Thank God my mom didn't name me April or else, we'll have the same name!" Sehun tried to crack a joke. Well, it seemed to be working. April chuckled. "But she called you Winter." She added, "What kind of name is that? I never heard someone with the name Winter."

"Me either. But who cares, really?" April raised her arched eyebrows, "Winter is not a normal name." Sehun just shrugged. "My mom loves winter. That explains everything." The little girl just nodded, fingers playing with the hem of her furry shirt.

"Do you wanna be friends with me?" Sehun asked. She searched for sincerity in his eyes. Gratefully, the girl nodded.

"Then, you can call me Winter."

 

-

 

Sehun and April grew up to be two mature people who would stop whatever they were doing to just think. Think about life, specifically. April's mom warned her that she should just live life to the fullest without worrying about anything yet. She was just 17. People said that being a teenager was the best thing in their lives, but April didn't think so.

"Why isn't life fair?" April asked, eyes looking straight into the green scenery that lied before her two blue eyes. Snow had stopped falling for a few weeks, and parts of her wanted the snow to stay. She loved how the cold breeze kissed her face and made her reddish cheeks glowed beautifully. Yes, she was indeed a girl with high self-esteem.

Sehun stiffened. "No one has ever told me that life is fair, really." His sharp eyes took a glance on the petite girl beside him. "It's nature, I think, for life to be unfair. Maybe the unfair treatment we think we get is fair to the world." His pink lips formed a slight pout as April let out a heavy sigh.

"I can't believe your parents are gone," she whispered. The picture of Sehun and his parents laughing during dinner every time she visited them kept replaying in her mind. Sadness took over her, realizing that Sehun was now taken care by his uncle. The 35-year-old man with really neat moustache from his mother's side was willing to stay with Sehun in his house, accompanying the teenager, now that he was divorced. He was a lawyer and his firm was just a stone's away from the house.

"Sometimes I forget that they are gone. I wake up and eagerly come down for breakfast with my parents, only to realize that there is only Coco Crunch and milk on the table with a sticky note that said 'Don't skip breakfast!'. I- " Sehun paused. He looked down to the growing grass, fighting back his tears. April turned to him and slowly, she held his hand and carrassed it. "You can cry, Winter. Crying is a form of letting go and moving on. You can cry." He tried so hard to keep the tears away but he lost. April wiped away the tears that rolled down his cheeks. Maybe she is right, he thought, maybe this is a sign that I am moving on.

"I'll always be here, Winter."

"Promise me?"

"Promise."

 

-

 

April realized she had made thousands of promises with Sehun that she could never fulfil. Not anymore. She felt so bad. It was as if she was now the parent who kept promising her child that she would get the kid some toys and trip to Disneyland and those lip- cakes. But in this case, Sehun only wanted her company. He only needed her love. Although his wishes were damn simple, but no, she couldn't fulfil them. She was dead anyway. She was dead.

 

-

 

Sehun on the other hand was a living corpse. He was alive but he looked worse than a zombie. His Jewish friend told him about shivah - where friends and neighbours bring food to the living person as an appreciation to the dead. 7 days of no clean clothes, no bathing and no shaving. Sehun would like to give shivah a try. But he was the epitome of mess.

"Dude, are you sure?" Sehun just nodded. He would do anything to get rid of the heavy stone in his heart. He couldn't bear the pain anymore.

"Sehun," a lady voiced out. She was April's other best friend besides him. Sehun ignored her, hating the fact that she looked just fine at times like that. She should not be fine, he thought. She should cry, his inner self screamed. She should feel as empty as I feel, his mind yelled.

Sehun lay on the marble floor, feeling helpless.

"April wouldn't like you to be in this mess." Sehun ignored her once again. He closed his tired eyes and he immediately saw April within the darkness. The picture of April bleeding to death crept into his mind. He couldn't unsee it.

"You should stop mourning over her death, Sehun."

He heard April's sobs in his ears. His eyes fluttered open, only to reveal Jessica who was kneeling before him. Damn it, he cursed under his breath.

"I promise to always be with you, Winter." The voice rang in his mind, making him sob harder. His fingers ran along his messy brown hair, slightly pulling them in frustration.

"You promised me, April. You freaking promised me!" He shouted, hoping that April would hear his voice in heaven. "I need you," he whispered. He needed her presence so badly that he would do anything to let her be alive again.

"Sehun, stop it." The long-haired lady said as a sigh escaped . She was mad at how Sehun could freely mourn over April's death yet she had to act so strong, as if it didn't affect her one bit.

"Do you think I'm not sad at all?" She finally spoke. "Do you think I don't want to roll on the floor, crying my eyes out until I can't even cry anymore?!" Her voice became louder. "She is my best friend, Sehun. She is my freaking best friend. How can I not be sad?"

Sehun eyed her. Hot crystals started to well in her eyes.

"April made me promise once to not cry when she dies," she mouthed, "she doesn't want to leave this world with a heavy heart."

"April wants us to be happy."

 

-

 

"I see you want to fulfil your promises," a voice rang in April's head. She looked around but she saw no one. In fact, she saw nothing but white rays. "Don't bother look for me, my dear. I live within your heart."

"Who are you?" April asked. "Your fairy godmother." She scoffed. "I don't know you really exist." The voice ignored her remark and it continued, "Do you want to fulfil your promises?" April gave it a thought. Of course she wanted to but she knew better that this was definitely not for free. There was a price to pay for it.

"What is it do you want? I have got no money. I am dead anyway." The voice laughed hysterically. April started to think that this may not actually be the fairy godmother. It seemed creepy. It sounded hella scary. The trail of its voice just screamed run.

"You will find out later."

 

-

 

April then noticed that she was in a room full of monitors, showing the man she loved in such a bad condition in every angle. She didn't get it. How could she be there? Did she just agree to the so-called fairy godmother's deal? What was the price?

Her thoughts were quickly interrupted when her eyes landed on Sehun who was yelling on top of his voice, tears rolling down his cheeks. She was scared. She felt bad. The only time he was like this was when his parents died in an accident.

"Winter…" she whimpered.

"I made an oath, April. Why did you leave me?" His voice was laced with sorrow. The shivah wasn't working on him.

"Why aren't you answering me?"

April paused. Could he hear her?

"I love you."

No response. Sehun didn't hear her. They were in two different worlds anyway.

Sehun slowly made his way towards his work table at the corner of his room. His hand automatically held April's picture and hugged the wooden frame. He didn't know why her smiling picture looked so sad in his arms.

"I'm the one who is messed up. She must have been happy in heaven," he mumbled under his breath.

"I'm not in heaven, Winter. Not quite yet. I am also suffering."

"I love you, April."

"I love you too."

 

-

 

Sehun wasn't doing any better. It had been a month since she left the reality world but he was still living in the past. April hated to see him being so fragile. She could only hope that he would move on one day. She didn't want him to live in sorrow. It hurt her as well.

"Sehun," Jessica voiced out, "Do you want to talk about her? I read that it would help - talking about the dead."

Sehun nodded.

"Okay. So, let's start. How do you see her?" Jessica plastered a fake smile on her face, trying to hide her sadness.

"April is gorgeous in every way," Sehun whispered, eyes glued to the picture of April smiling in his arms. "She likes books so we talk a lot about them. Books, quotes and life. She always wonders about life, though." Sehun's lips formed a thin line. He noticed how he used present tense instead of past tense. April was still alive in his heart, anyway.

"OK. Hm can you tell me about one conversation that is so significant to you?"

"April once asked me why do people fall in love." Sehun stopped.

He remembered her words crystal clear.

 

-

 

"Winter, do you have any idea why people fall in love?" April asked him in December, a day before her family trip to London to visit her grandparents. He just smiled. "It just happens, April. Love doesn't need a reason to appear. It just appears when it feels like it."

"I think I'm feeling it." Sehun's stomach literally did some gymnastic jumps. "Love?" The 18-year-old girl nodded.

"Who is he?"

Her lips formed a sweet smile as she looked straight into his eyes, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Me?"

 

-

 

Three months later, he was still a mess. March had came to an end but Sehun was still locked in his own world, where April was still alive. He was trapped. He couldn't find a way out of his own world. April took the key with her when she left.

"What's the price?" April asked herself, hoping that the fairy godmother would hear her question.

"Oh my dear," she heard, "you still haven't guessed it yet?"

April was mad.

"Is it him? Winter? Is he the price that I have to pay?" The voice just laughed and laughed until it choked its own saliva.

"You are so brilliant, dear April." Her lips formed a thin line, heart boiling with anger.

"How to undo this?" She slowly whispered, trying to control her anger. She could not believe she was so stupid before to never realize about the price she had to pay. If only she knew about it sooner, Sehun would not be in that devastating state. Sehun would definitely be able to move on and live happily. It was all her fault. She wanted to fulfil her promises yet she let him suffering.

"Let go of him. Say goodbye. Then I'll undo this. I'll let him move on."

April let out a heavy sigh.

"OK."

April learned to let go. She needed to let him go for his goodness. She must break her promises - to never leave him and stay with him and be with him forever. She had to.

"Goodbye, Winter. It had been a pleasure loving you." April waved him an invisible kiss.

Her sight suddenly turned blurry. It was white all of the sudden. Her heart ached but she endured it. Promises were made to be broken, after all. They would eventually break no matter how hard April tried to keep them last. They were meant to be broken.

"Happy birthday, Winter."

It was the first day of April. And snow fell down. Sehun looked up from the window beside his bedroom. The snow that fell was April's departure tears. Sehun could feel the wind blew gently from the window. Yes, it was April's forlorn sigh. But it was winter in April - a gift for Sehun for holding onto April for so long.

"I love you, Winter." Sehun heard her voice in his mind. Slowly, his lips crept a small smile on his face.

"I love you too."