Hanahaki Byou is a disease you get by experiencing a strong unrequited love. The synthomps are coughing and throwing flower petals, until they start to clog into your respiratory system making impossible to breath. The petals grow along with the love.

There are two possible cures for the disease, the first is the surgery. With the surgery you lose your petals and your feelings, but you can live and breath again. The latter seems more impossible than the first, convicing the person you love to love you back. Death is certain without one of these.                  

Kim Taeyeon was 18 years and had a bright future when she first saw Tiffany Hwang look at Choi Minho with loving and caring eyes. That was the first time she felt her breath stop.

When she saw Tiffany and Minho intertwining hands she cough her first petal.

When Minho hugged Tiffany and Tiffany gave him a special smile – a bright smile reserved only for him – Taeyeon felt like she could throw up a ing whole floriculture.

When she saw Tiffany give Minho a kiss on his cheek, she realized she was going to die.

And she knew that if her reason to die was going to be Tiffany Hwang, she would gladly accept her fate.

 In the middle of march Taeyeon’s disease slowly developed. She wasn’t in one of the final stages but knew that anything could be the trigger to make everything worse. Taeyeon only told about her struggle to her best friend Key, and obviously he didn’t support her idea to keep this from Tiffany, after all she was the reason of all. The blonde on the other hand just didn’t want to lose Tiffany’s friendship, since that would be just as much painful as knowing the latter don’t love her back.

Taeyeon is sure Tiffany don’t love her back, and just like this certainty in her life, she’s sure she doesn’t know how she fell for Tiffany but she knows why. Taeyeon fell in love with her sweet smiles. She fell for the way her eyes slowly accompany her smile, she fell in love for her laugh. She fell for the nights they spent talking about stupid things that when coming out of Tiffany’s mouth, became the most important words of all time. And when Taeyeon really realized she loved Tiffany was when she needed hope and Tiffany was her hope.

And you know, love couldn’t be more stupid and useless for Kim Taeyeon before she met the eyesmile girl. To her, Tiffany was like a revolution.

"A revolution is the sign of a severe change” And definetely, Tiffany had changed her.

Nothing like love to cause a severe change, right?

She’s in the middle of her English class and try to stop thinking about life, about her life, about Tiffany. She focus on the book in front of her, ironically it’s Romeo and Juliet. “Ah, come on. Like there’s not tragedy enough around me” She laughs with this thought, but when it comes to Tiffany the love she feels isn’t a tragedy. A tragedy, in Kim Taeyeon’s vision is not experiencing the most amazing feeling of all time: loving Tiffany Hwang.

Suddenly she feels like a shakespearean walking cliche, although she can’t deny her vision it’s kinda beautiful.

After spending a lot of time dreaming and overthinking, she only realizes it’s lunch time when all the students are on their way out of class. Quickly, she lets her book under the table and go straight to Tiffany’s desk, they always have lunch together.

Now, had.

Choi Minho gives Tiffany his arm and they leave the room before Taeyeon could say even a “hello”. Tiffany just didn’t notice her. Oh, this hurts.

They haven’t even kissed yet and you can see clearly how much they loved each other. The thought of Minho and Tiffany it’s disgusting and horrible. She hates herself for thinking like that since Minho is actually a good guy, but it hurts so much.

The urge to throw up starts growing and she can’t help but cough some petals, failing miserably when she tries to pretend nothing happened. She looks for Kibum, he is always helpful when she is “dying” but her eyes meet with Jessica Jung with shocked eyes.

Ok, the last the thing she wants to do right now is to face her oldest friend Jessica. You heard it right. Jessica is Taeyeon’s oldest friend, even before she thought about the existence of someone so beatiful and unique as Tiffany. It’s been a while since they talked. Jessica stopped talking to her when she fell in love with Kwon Yuri…and when Kwon Yuri didn’t fall in love with her back because she was too busy with Im Yoona. Jessica didn’t want to die, so she went after the surgery

Now, no wonder why they call her Ice Queen.

She can’t feel now.

Feeling her eyes burning and dry as Sahara, Taeyeon tries to go out of the class to drink some water, but a grip on her wrist stop her.  

“Kim Taeyeon”

It’s been so long since she heard this voice.

Jessica looks a little surprised. “You’re sick, aren’t you?”. These words come out like a whisper, like a secret, but never like a lie. Jessica goes on.  “I know we’re not close just like before, but here a advice: you should definitely do the surgery. I have the doctor’s number if you need it.”  

Taeyeon feel tears running down her face but Jessica don’t seem to care. “Is it Tiffany or Minho? You were looking at them”  

The short one gave a quick look directed to Tiffany’s desk. Everything so pink that made her show a weak smile. Jessica followed her look and sighed. “Oh, too obvious”

“I’m not going to do the surgery” Taeyeon finally speaks

Jessica furrow her eyebrows “You are going to die because of Tiffany Hwang?

“If that means I will still love her, I will”

Jessica sighs again but this time she leaves Taeyeon alone to find a pen a paper. She goes back delivering Taeyeon what it looked like a phone number. “Here’s my number if you change your mind. The surgery it’s not that scary. Anyway, you know what you’re doing. Bye Taeyeon.” Then she leaves the room.

And for the first time, when Taeyeon looks at the phone number delivered by Jessica she wonders if she really do.

On Friday Taeyeon got an invitation to spend the weekend on Tiffany’s beach house. The Hwang’s have Taeyeon like a daughter and Tiffany has Taeyeon like a sister. It’s always been like that. I won’t change, right?

Taeyeon throws up a lot of petals at the same time she tries to fix her hair and her face to spend the weekend with Tiffany. She tries to make the burning on less painful by consuming a bottle of mineral water, with no effect. It seems like the disease is worsening.

She looks at herself in the mirror, looking so much more pale than usual. “How much time do I have?” she mutters while her thumb caresses her colorless lip.  

Leaving the bathroom, she sends Tiffany a message. No accidents must happen this weekend, please, so she makes sure just the two of them will be spending time together.

Is it gonna be just us together this weekend Fany? I’m bringing my video game. See you later, I love you <3

A few seconds later, she got a reply.

Just you and me. I miss spending time with you Tae. See ya. I love you too. <3 XO

All things packed up, when Taeyeon reach the end of the stairs she stumbles on her father and they both share a small laugh . “Have fun, okay? Be careful”. She smiles like the world is a beatiful place when a “I will, thanks” comes out of . Spending time with Tiffany it’s like the most powerful anesthesic.  

Arriving at the Hwang’s, Taeyeon is received with a super tight hug that leave her... breathless. She hugs Tiffany with just as much force and with so much more love, and feel her heart beating like crazy. She shivers when Tiffany’s breath hit her neck.

“You don’t know how much I missed you!” Tiffany let her go so she can finally look at her best friend’s face. She looks a little confused.  “Hey, you look a little sick and pale, everything alright?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m fine. I’m always pale, I thought years of friendship have already made you realize that, silly”

Tiffany gives her a warm smile. “Indeed. That's why today we are going to enjoy the sun”

The latter takes her hand and they run towards the beach, just like two kids. They sit on a towel being used to protect them from the warm sand and look at the beach and just smile, because the day couldn’t get more brighter and soft.

Tiffany points to the sunblock and asks Taeyeon with a cute voice. “Can you?”

Taeyeon shivers but nods. After all, this is something normal friends do. Normal friends that don’t have feelings for each other.  She feels the cold liquid in her hands, and for a moment everything is just her and Tiffany.

Taeyeon and Tiffany. That sounds so nice to her ears.

When she starts pouring the liquid on Tiffany’s back, she feels her holding her breath and find it a little awkward. She must be imagining things.  

When it’s over, Tiffany mutters a thank you and they spend the afternoon playing, swimming and enjoying each other company.

The night slowly arrives and the Hwangs are all reunited telling scary stories (and they’re not scary at all). Taeyeon is so happy she could die and she knows Tiffany is feeling the same way because of the smile they give to each other, the hugs, the touches. It almost feels like heaven. These thoughts are disturbed by a cellphone vibration, and Taeyeon recognize it’s hers. It’s a message from Kibum.  

“Hey Tae, you alright? No accidents?

She quickly answers him. “It’s all fine. No accidents, don’t worry” and she’s aware that he’s not going to believe her. Anyway, he knows she’s alive.

Taeyeon it’s on the other side of the sofa when Tiffany asks her to sit next to her. Suddenly the room become warmer and hotter, and she knows...oh, she knows it’s not because of the weather.

She feels arms surrounding her and with Tiffany so close like this, she’s almost dying. Tiffany’s old brother is telling a story that might be interesting, but she can only focus on how they fit together and on how Tiffany lights on her a fire that no one in the world could ever.

Tiffany breaks the silence between them whispering in Tae’s ear (and the world must be playing her, because it’s such a tease) “Are you scared? Your heart is beating really fast”

And Taeyeon needs to tell her the truth. She wants to show her how much she loves her. She wants to tell her how every beat of her tiny little heart belongs to her and it’s only beating for her. She wants her to know that the reason she awakes it’s because her smile make the whole stupid world more bearable. 

Instead of that, she laughs. A flustered laugh. “I think I’m a little scared, sorry"

Tiffany gives her a understanding smile accompanied with a laugh. “A little scared? For God’s sake, Taeyeon, you are almost dying from tachycardia”

Not wanting her best friend to die from a heart attack, Tiffany grabs Taeyeon’s hand and they go upstairs to the room they share.  

Taeyeon surely felt like that weekend was unique, but one of the last they would spend together.

Later that night, when both girls were standing outside the house looking at the stars and at the sea, when Tiffany looked into Taeyeon’s eyes saying “I love you” everything seemed to good to be true.

Even though she knew Tiffany could never love her back, she didn’t spared any time before she replied to her best friend the thing she considered to be the biggest truth in her life.

“I love you more”

1 Week Later

Taeyeon is trying to look good for Hyoyeon’s monthly party – that she never seemed interested to go – but wih a little blackmail from Sooyoung that said Come on, think about the food! and from Kibum, who only wanted her to enjoy her last days, she decided to go.

Looking at the mirror, she didn’t look very sick and just thought that a good foundation and a good eyeliner made miracles. When she heard knocks on her door, already knew it was Kibum who went to pick her up. “Come in” she replies.

The boy, looking so beautiful and almost like a model – like always – enters her bedroom. “Hey Tae, how are you holding up?”  He gives her a sad smile while catch her in a tight hug. Both know he’s not very fond o physical touch, but he knows he has a great chance to lose his best friend forever.

“I’m barely breathing as always, but looking fab. Come on, look at me!”

Key laughs and Taeyeon accompany him, they both ending up laughing too hard since Taeyeon’s laugh looks like a 80 year old lady. Once they calm down, Key gives her his arm. “Shall we?”

They leave Taeyeon’s house but not before Key giving Taeyeon’s mother a kiss on the cheek and making sure that he will take good care of her. He’s just like family to her and she feels lucky to have such a good friend besides her.

It doesn’t take long until they reach Hyoyeon’s party, and their vision is blocked by drunk teenagers and the sweet aroma of a school party. Even though they live in a pretty conservative country, the parties can’t help but look like those teenage north American movies. They observe Hyoyeon dancing with a wall (?), Sooyoung eating, Taeyeon even caught a glimpse of Jessica standing alone in some random corner and everything was funny until Taeyeon saw Tiffany looking at Minho like she was…flirting?

The pain strikes again. She coughs some flowers and Key holds her hand tighter. Everyone is too drunk to notice what she coughed, and Kibum let go of her hand to find her some food, since it’s not really recommended to cough flowers with a empty stomach.

Kibum doesn’t take too long to come back then when he's back he gives her a pizza slice.  “First of all, don’t tell Hyo I just robbed her pizza. But you know, you deserve it”. They laugh and collide their pizza slices screaming “CHEERS!”, and after eating they go straight to the dance floor. Taeyeon almost forget the incident that happened minutes ago.

Taeyeon is not really a good dancer but Key guide her and they laugh and have a little fun while the music on the speakers blow up their minds. It was so fun.

Too much fun. Of course something would have to ruin her night.

When Taeyeon looks at the other side of the dance floor, she sees Tiffany sharing a kiss with Minho and she feels like dying.

She needs to get out of there.

“Taeyeon!” Kibum shouts while trying to stop the girl that looks desesperate, pushing people away to get to the bathroom. When she finally opens the door, she looks at the mirror.

“This can’t be happening. Oh god, it can’t be happening” She throws up a lot of petals, her eyes becoming empty and her vision blurry. Falling directly to the floor, she throws up more.

Before she could even try to calm her heart down, the bathroom’s door open and reveals a smiling Tiffany with a messed up lipstick stain on . Slowly, her smile fades while she looks at the ground a see the girl on her knees.

“Taeyeon?”

They look at each other. The floor covered in petals.

The blonde almost died a second after, because the words coming out of Tiffany’s mouth were what she feared most.

“Are you...sick?”