Despite almost all of the fans , the room was quite hot. On the left wall was a bench piled with clothes, and a large mirror covered the main wall where small scratches were found here and there on the smooth surface. Along the wall to the right, on the floor, rested a group of guys, most of them gesticulating while talking about something unimportant. In the center, a young man breathed heavily, lying on the floor with open arms; and sitting on the bench in front of the mirror, another boy listened to music with his earphones firmly in place. The air seemed charged with electricity, the smell of sweat mixed with other scents - cologne, bleach, new plastic - made the atmosphere slightly nauseating. That was their training room; it was nighttime and the end of another practice session.

JiYong's POV

After adjusting my mp3 player, on which I, once more listened to the songs from my album, I looked up, scanning around the room. YoungBae was well ahead of me, lying with his eyes closed. His exhausted appearance didn't scare me, since this time he had trained really hard. I looked around the room and saw DaeSung and SeungRi along with the dancers. DaeSung was the center of attention and I wondered if he was telling some funny story about his involvement in Family Outing. The others never got tired of asking him about how the “nation’s fairy” was in real life, and I honestly didn't know how DaeSung never got tired of repeating himself.

I missed someone in the room.

I removed my earphones and wrapped the wires around the small device. I placed it on the bench and grabbed my jacket. After all, it would be cold outside. I left the room without being noticed, and took the stairs leading to the terrace not bothering to turn on the lights. Pushing the door that led me straight to the starless sky, I realized that the night wasn’t as cold as I thought it would be. Our building wasn’t in a very busy area, so there were no lights on at night to illuminate the place. I walked to the center of the huge courtyard, on a search, and saw a little red dot in one corner, just as I'd expected. After all, it was there that we shared our little secret. I took the direction of the long shadow anchored against the low wall that surrounded the terrace, in a slow walk.

“Hey hyung! You didn’t even call me!”

You turned slowly, didn’t seemed surprise at all. Eyes semi closed, peering in the night, a slight spiral of smoke fogging your face.

“You’d know where to find me in case you didn’t see me there.” You answered unworried.

“Even so... Anyway, do you have one to fix me?”

“Weren’t you quitting?” You asked peacefully.

“Weren’t you too?” I answered, annoyed.

“It’s up to you...” Then you took one smashed cigarette from your pocket, offering it to me.

I took it, adjusting it to its original cylindrical shape. Soon I brought it to my mouth, tilting forward to you, who bent back, bringing your little red ember to my unlit cigarette. Despite the proximity, I couldn't see your face very well, only your eyes, which reflected the small glowing ember, giving you a supernatural aspect, almost fierce. Before drawing in deeply, inhaling for the first time, I closed my eyes leaving this thought behind. You weren't fierce, nor threatening, your eyes lied about you, even to those who knew you.

“Are the others still downstairs?” You asked me, leaning back on the wall.

I blew smoke slowly before answering. “Yes, they are. YoungBae seems almost dead, and DaeSung is bragging, as usual.”

“And I imagine SeungRi is drinking each word, right?”

We laughed together and then we were silent. For some time we’ve shared those moments on the terrace, and since that anti-smoking campaign that we endorse, these meetings had become rare. After all, how could we star in a campaign against cigarettes if we smoked? That was the first meeting in weeks. Incidentally, my body didn't ask for nicotine, I just enjoyed being in your company, in the dark of night, as if we shared a secret, as if that made us different from the others, more mature. What nonsense!

I leaned back on the small wall, looking in the direction opposite yours. My head was kind of empty, drowned in the rolls of smoke that rose lazily.

From afar, a song began to soar, reaching us.

‘So this is love
In the end of December
Quiet nights
Quiet stars’

Absent-mindedly I said something totally stupid, but I always said this kind of crap anyway.

“I've never danced with a girl before.”

You turned towards me, and despite not seeing your face I felt the mockery in your voice.

“Are you serious?”

“Have you forgotten I’ve been stuck in this place since I was 13?! When do you suppose I had the time to dance with a girl before?”

“Oh...” You simply said, throwing the cigarette on the floor, crushing every last vestige of the ember with your feet.

“I’m sorry; I keep forgetting you weren’t a normal teenager.”

Did I feel a hint of derision in his voice?

‘And I'm here
Monday to Sunday
Cause you're fragile
And I'm weak’

“Oh, never mind.” I replied annoyed.

You knew me enough to realize that I would be upset, and I knew you enough to know that you'd try to fix things.

“Really, Jiyong, sorry. As if I've been a normal teenager too, it’s not like I’ve danced with hundreds of girls. Actually, to be honest, I’ve probably just danced with a couple.”

I laughed slightly. This made me happy, to know that we were once again two adults sharing stories in the middle of the night. I didn't like when you acted as if you were superior to me, I liked when we looked like equals.

“A couple, counting that actress?” I asked, amused.

“Yeah, yeah, with that actress.” You answered reluctantly.

‘So you fall
When the nights grow longer
Into sleep
And won't wake up’

“Oh, it must be fun...” I said, conjecturing.

“Wanna try?”

I straightened a bit before answering. “Are you serious?”

“Well, why not? It's just the two of us here, and we have music!”

I looked somewhat suspicious, but I didn't like to think that maybe I was being a coward or that you were joking with me. That didn’t jibe with the image that I liked to show, after all, I am fearless, eccentric, bold... Aren't I?

‘Don't you worry
I'll be there for you
Don't worry about me
You know me better than that
I'll catch you if you would fall’

I threw my cigarette, unfinished, on the ground. I straightened my posture. Well, it wasn't problem for me. “And then what do I...?” But I couldn't finish the sentence, since you abruptly pulled me to your own body. My head knocked lightly against your chest and I let out a cry of pain.

“That wasn’t very nice!”

“You complain too much!”

You took one of my hands, and enlaced your other arm around my waist.

“Why do I have to be the woman?” I complained.

“Because I’m taller than you.” You answered, cutting me off.

As strange as it might be, the awkwardness of the situation prevented me from feeling any embarrassment. Everything was very rare, and it fit me. At least I thought it matched. We started to move to the sound of the distant melody.

“Relax Ji, you’re too tense.” You said and pulled me gently in your arms, narrowing our distance. With my head leaned carefully on your shoulder, I looked at the starless sky.

Gradually, I felt my body relax and I moved to the sound of the music, following your pace. My body began to show signs of exhaustion from the gruelling day of rehearsals, and was gradually surrendering to the gentle movement, my head rested more heavily, and my mind began to float.

‘So you drift
When the days grow colder
Away from me
And won't look back
Far away
And I can't guide you
But I'm here
Til the spring’

Must have been a subconscious way that my hand left yours, and still subconsciously that it landed on your back, making the hug that bonded us even tighter. It was still without realizing that your scent started to tingle my nose and even without noticing it, I inhaled that scent deeply.

Did I really felt that tired? After all, why would one of my hands slide down your back? But if I was so tired, then why wouldn't my arms fall aside my body instead of going up and down as… As a caress?!

I let out a little sigh, not bothering with those thoughts that would lead to nowhere. My mind was numb and I just felt your arms around my body, strengthening even further, without any resistance. If you’d tried to take me to the edge of the terrace and throw me down, I’d probably fall without any protest.

‘Don't you worry
I'll be there for you
Don't worry about me
You know me better than that
I'll catch you if you would fall’

“Ji...?” You blew in my hair and I raised my head as if in a dream, without seeing a thing.

You didn't have those fierce eyes; your eyes were actually... Insecure? Anxious?

“This is good, hyung!” I replied, without taking account of what your eyes said, to what a deep thought in my subconscious said. Not bothering with whatever it was, but the feeling of comfort and tranquillity I felt in that moment. As if there, in the middle of the night, in your arms, was the safest place on earth, as if there were no better place to be.

A light breeze gently shook my hair and I snuggled my face even further, sinking my nose into your neck. I felt your cheek pushing back, our breaths in unison, making it slightly heavier. One of us drew a long breath, but I could not tell if it was me or you. I felt your hand sliding down my back and it caused a chill that ran down my spine. However, I didn't interrupt our embrace. And neither did you.

By now there was no music, just our bodies swaying in the dead of night. There were no thoughts in my mind, only the soothing sensations produced by our contact, by the hug that we didn't leave. No other sound other than the long sighs that we let out alternately. And I didn't know what would be the next step or if we would just make that dance last, almost imaginary, if we weren't suddenly interrupted by voices in the distance, calling our names.

We slowly let go from our embrace, as if it was a very difficult thing to do.

“We better get back, Ji.” You said with a smile.

I didn't want to think of anything at that moment, didn't want to think about the hidden meanings of that night, and I didn’t even know if I'd think about it later or if I would just bury it somewhere in my mind, denying myself from analyzing its implications in our lives.

So before following you towards the door that would lead us into the building, I simply replied. “I liked it, hyung, I enjoyed dancing with you.”