"Isn't it weird?"

1 potato. 2 potato. 3 pota- "Hey, do you not think it's weird?" Kibum has a personal policy to wait until he counts to 10 potato so he doesn't seem too demanding, although he really is too demanding. But he really can't pretend to be patient right now. Not when he's been rambling about how weird Jinki has been acting the last few days. Jonghyun, however, seems to be immersed in writing lyrics for whatever song; Kibum can't care less.

"Hm?" A sound finally comes out of Jonghyun, but he doesn't even let his eyes wander at anything else but the piece of paper in his hands.

A pillow lands on Jonghyun's head. Not unexpected and not a rare occassion, but Jonghyun is always surprised. "You asked about whether or not something is weird. I listen, you know." Jonghyun finally looks at a pissed off Kibum sitting on Taemin's bed; arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed.

"And do you know what that something is?"

Jonghyun thinks hard. He has absolutely no clue what Kibum has been yapping about. It's usually about fashion, anyway. So Jonghyun gives it a shot. "Someone called Hyoyeon a fashionista in a magazine again?"

Kibum grits his teeth and is about to throw another pillow, but Jonghyun stops him. "Okay, okay. I will listen to you now. Can you please repeat it?" Jonghyun knows Kibum cannot get mad at his best puppy face, or even his 2nd best puppy face. Kibum is weak.

A growl, a sigh, and soon Kibum is talking again. "Yeong-gam. He's been really weird lately. He smells my hair, hugs me from the back, sends me weird texts… all that stuff. I don't know. What do you think?"

Jonghyun snorts. "Are you serious?"

A pillow lands perfectly on Jonghyun's face. "Yah! Do you think I'm lying?"

Eventhough his precious face is just hit by a pillow, he doesn't seem pissed. He looks amused and interested now; his lyrics draft is unattended and crumpled next to the first pillow thrown at him. "No. I mean, are you serious right now? He's been doing it since the dawn of time. What gives, huh? Did you suddenly grow a pair of eyes?" He chuckles.

Kibum doesn't think it is the slightest bit funny, and what the hell is Jonghyun talking about? Sure, Jinki has been weirdly clingy to him since before they debuted. Sure, Jinki has been hugging him from the back since they all had the same hairstyle. But the weird texts are definitely new! Sure, Jinki has always sent weird texts since back then, but these ones are a new kind of weird.

Damn.

Jonghyun is right.

"Right now you look just like that cat who just discovered the secret of the universe. Just FYI."

Jonghyun's voice brings him out of his trance and back to the real world. The real world with harsh reality that Kim Jonghyun is right.

"Did someone say cat?" All of a sudden, Jinki is on the door. He makes a beeline to Taemin's bed and sits next to Kibum; his right arm on Kibum's back and his left hand sits comfortably on Kibum's stomach. He is enveloping Kibum's whole body as if they don't have heater in the apartment and Kibum is not wearing his warmest sweater. Kibum instantly heats up, totally because there are just too many layers on his body right now. Definitely.

Jonghyun gives Kibum a look, shakes his head, and gets up from his bed. He takes the crumpled lyric sheet and walks out of his own bedroom.

"Hey! I'm not done with you!" Kibum yells. His ear feels really hot because Jinki keeps breathing on it. If he knew Jinki would radiate this much heat, he wouldn't wear any- uh… he wouldn't wear his warmest sweater.

"You are so done, though!" Jonghyun yells from the living room. Kibum is now left with clingy Jinki again. And he is very confused, even more confused than when he realized he liked men. And that was ages ago.

•••

February, 2012.

Jinki sat on the floor of the living room, his own house's living room. Accompanied by nothing but silence. Ah, this is it. He had been wanting to be alone for a while. He asked for it, and finally they let him be.

He didn't know watching the snow falls was something he had missed. It didn't snow a lot in Tokyo. Even if it did, he didn't have time to sit and watch it fall and melt. Even if it did, he couldn't go outside and ask his friends to meet at his favorite tteokbeokki place to chat and eat. Even if it did, he still couldn't understand what everyone was talking about.

Even if it did, it was still Tokyo. It wasn't Seoul.

"Jinki?" A soft familiar voice broke the silence, but Jinki didn't mind. It was the sound he had been seeking for. It was the only sound that he could handle at that moment.

"Mom, I'm home." Jinki smiled. It didn't look like a happy one, so his mom came rushing to his side and hugged him.

Jinki didn't know he had been sobbing until his mom wiped his tears using the edge of her cardigan. "I'm here, I'm here." She whispered repeatedly in Jinki's ears like mantra. Her eyes were wet but she still looked beautiful, it made him cry even harder.

She tucked him into bed after she forced him to drink a glass of water, kissed his forehead, and turned off the light.

Jinki couldn't sleep, though. He kept staring at the ceiling until he realized his phone had been vibrating. He reluctantly took it from his bedside table, but it stopped. You have 5 missed calls. He opened it.

Kim Kibum.

They were all from Kibum. Before he could do anything, it vibrated again. He answered it this time. He put it on his ears, but he didn't say anything. Not because he didn't want to, he simply couldn't form a word. He seemed to forget the word 'hello'.

"Hyung. Where are you?"

"Home."

A sigh from Kibum. "Good. You make me worried." Kibum was never like this. Jinki knew Kibum cared for him but always too embarrased to put it in words. He gave hugs and pats in the back, but never words. Jinki was surprised. "Hyung, I miss you." A pause. Kibum collected his energy to push away his pride and embarrassment. "I don't know what you've been through, why you are like this. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you a lot. But please, talk to me. I'm here. I'm gonna listen and not judge you." Kibum choked. "We need you."

The words were so genuine, Jinki started to cry. Kibum didn't do anything wrong. Kibum had never done anything wrong to him. But there he was, making international calls from the place Jinki should have been at, apologizing. Begging. Kibum didn't have to do it. And yet, he did.

Kibum didn't say anything. He just waited until Jinki stopped crying. "Thank you," was the only words that could come out of Jinki's mouth that night. "Thank you." He repeated.

Kibum hung up, but not before he told Jinki to have a lot of rest and that he would see him soon.

Jinki texted Kibum the next morning, "See you at practice tomorrow." Kibum replied with nothing but five hearts. Jinki's heart felt warm.

•••

"Minho, you're my friend."

Minho looks up from his game and stares at Kibum in disbelief. "I'm not going to London with you again, am I?"

Kibum punches Minho's shoulder half-playfully, half-annoyed. "No, omg. Who would want that?" Kibum presses pause on Minho's game.

Minho sighs and looks away from his game. He knows Kibum only accepts full attention and he is not in the mood to have meaningless banters. "What is it, then?"

"I need your help." Kibum begs.

"I'm not hiding Taemin's passport again. Being scolded was one thing, but banned from playing game for a month was too much." Minho whines.

Kibum pouts. "Not that! Ugh. So… you know that… have you noticed…" Why is it suddenly hard to talk? Kibum curses. He swallows the annoying lump in his throat. "Have you noticed how weird Yeong-gam is acting around me lately?"

At the mention of Jinki, Minho is intrigued. "Yeah. I've always wondered why he insists that he won't show his body on camera. I saw it while he showered lately and to say that it's sculpted by the gods would be an understatement. In fact, I would say that he is The God himse-"

"Would you stop interrupting!" Kibum flushes at the thought of Jinki's body. He knows Jinki's body is good. Jinki sometimes asks for a back hug and when he does comply, Jinki always makes sure to press Kibum's hands to his well toned stomach. But Kibum has been denying the attraction, so much that it suddenly comes crashing down on him right now.

"You know, you look just like that cat who-"

"Shut up!" Minho should stop hanging out with Jonghyun too much, he thinks. He thinks of Jonghyun and Minho hanging to distract him from thinking of… other things. "Back to the topic. Have you noticed that Yeong-gam has been weirdly clingy to me lately?"

Minho snorts. Why is everyone snorting today? "Are you bragging? Is the help you need the acknowledgment that you got him wrapped around your fingers? Psh. God knows what I would give to have that privilege." Minho goes from excited to dispassionate so fast. He goes back to his game, leaving Kibum at loss for words.

•••

June, 2014.

To say that Jinki was okay would not be an understatement, it would be a flat out lie. Jinki's throat had been hurting for months, and he couldn't pretend he was okay anymore. Schedules were cancelled and a surgery followed by recovery plans were made.

Jinki hated himself for allowing this to happen. Everyone around him had been telling him to stop beating himself up for it, sending words of encouragement to make him feel better. But he wasn't Jinki if he didn't blame himself for everything.

He couldn't attend yet another concert and frankly he was feeling really blue. He missed the fans, the stage, the excitement, the staffs, the members.

Lying on his bed, he went to look at today's concert pictures taken from fans. Apparently Jonghyun went off stage again to touch the fans. Generous as always, he thought. He scrolled and found a video of his own VCR being played at the concert. He remembered feeling frustrated while making the video. He started to feel suffocated.

Then the focus moved away from the screen and moved downwards to zoom at something else. The video zoomed in on the area where he used to wait before getting onto the stage.

There Kibum was, looking at the operating laptop that showed the exact video as the screen. Kibum was so focused, so cute, he thought. Then Kibum started to… wipe his tears? Was he seeing this right? He went through the comments and sure enough, the owner of the video claimed that she saw Kibum tearing up.

Suddenly, Jinki felt suffocated for a whole another reason.

You Was going through twitter and there is a video of you crying looking at my VCR~~ 😉😉😉

Kibommie❤️ It was photoshopped

Kibommie❤️ Anyway, how's your throat??

You I lost it ㅠㅠ I have to quit SHINee now ㅠㅠ

Kibommie❤️ Don't joke around

You Heheh just kidding ^^ I'm resting at home. Meeting Kim Yeon Woo Sunbaenim tomorrow~ Was the concert fun?

Kibommie❤️ Could've been more fun

You Ah! So you really cried!!

Kibommie❤️ Stop saying that!! Say hello to Auntie for me

You Don't change the subject!

Kibommie❤️ You know, Taemin told us to call you, then Minho told him that it's not possible. He then replied, "is there no reception in this country?" What a lol

You By us, did you mean you?

Kibommie❤️ …I'm gonna shower. Have a lot of rest! Good night!!

You I miss you too ^^

Kibommie❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Jinki couldn't contain his smile and the feeling bubbling up in his chest.

•••

"Jinki hyung? Yeah he's weird, like, he's obsessed with me." Taemin is lounging in the sofa when Kibum asks him about Jinki's odd behavior.

That is not the answer Kibum expects to get, however. Jinki is obsessed with Taemin? Since when? How?

"I mean, not as intense as Minho hyung. And definitely not as annoying as Jonghyun. I'd say he's about the same level as you, Hyung." Taemin continues. Kibum lets out a sigh of relief. Taemin is being his usual self-absorbed human. It's no big deal.

Wait, why am I relieved?

"But I think he likes me, though. I mean, he keeps touching my stomach. It can be irritating, but I let it pass because he's cute." Taemin says nonchalantly.

Kibum's heart skips a beat. "Do you.. Do you like him?" Kibum doesn't really want to hear the answer, but he needs to. Curiosity kills the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

"Oh please hyung, you know I'm straight. I appreciate love from all genders, tho."

It's Kibum's turn to snort this time. This conversation is futile. Kibum decided to leave Taemin in his fragile self loving bubble. He needs to sort his thoughts.

•••

June, 2015.

A phone and a bewildered Kibum suddenly appeared in front of his face. "Are you seeing this??" Kibum snapped.

Oh. It was an article of Jungah dating a baseball player. "Yeah?" Jinki answered nonchalantly.

"When??" Kibum looked betrayed.

"Like, last year?" Jinki muttered.

A punch landed on Jinki's upper arm. "How did you not tell me?" Kibum's tone raised, but not out of anger. He was concerned.

Jinki shrugged. "Didn't think it mattered." His eyes looked away.

He didn't expect the arms enveloping his body all of the sudden, but he reciprocated right away. Kibum smelled good. "Never think like that again. I told you to talk to me, tell me everything. You matter to me. You matter to us."

He buried his face on Kibum's fragrant neck and he felt Kibum shivered, but he wouldn't budge. "Okay." He whispered to Kibum's neck. He wish he could stay there forever.

Kibum smelled good.

•••