The first time I saw her, that was when I fell in love for the first time.

And I don't know if it was for her breath taking beauty, for her adorable laugh, for the way she talked or for the happiness and kindness I could see reflected in her beautiful brow eyes. 

Maybe for all of it.

She was unique. 

She was all I could ask for. 

But I also knew that she would never look at me the way I was looking at her; she wasn't like me. She wasn't attracted from people of her same gender. 

It was an one sided love from the beginning and, even if I tried to stop liking her, even if I tried to prevent myself from hurting, I couldn't do anything against those feeling I had for her.

I couldn't stop myself from loving Park Jiyeon.

"89, 90, 91, 92..." drops of sweat where sliding gently on Hyomin's forehead while she was doing some abdominal exercise. Actually she wasn't just doing normal exercises with costant pause here and there; the brunette was dragging herself until she was completely exausted, until every single muscle of her body was giving up. 

I think I will accept Dong Gun's feelings for me, Hyomin unnie. 

Jiyeon's words repeated like a broken disc inside Hyomin's head. The girl stopped torturing herself with the exercises and lied on her red sport mat, looking at the white cealing of her room. 

Hyomin was trying hard to catch her breath while she could feel how tears where coming up to her eyes. She was trying to fight them back, she was tired of crying constantly, but she couldn't do anything against it. Hyomin couldn't do anything against those deep feeling she had for Jiyeon. 

Why can't I jus let go...

The brunette thought, bringing an arm to cover her eyes when a tear escaped from there. 

"AAAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Eunjung let out an acute little scream of exitement when Jiyeon finally dropped the news that she and Dong Gun where officially a couple. 

"Yah, Ham will you please keep calm? You made all the people turn around to look at you!" Soyeon said, smiling apologetically to a girl who was sitting on the table next to them in the cafeteria they where in. 

"Sorry but I'm so exited! Our little baby is now all grown up." Eunjung said, stretching her hands around Jiyeon, who was sitting right beside her, hugging her for a few seconds. 

The youngest was looking down, with slightly pink cheeks, clearly shy to talk about this argument. 

"Hyomin, are you okay? You are so silent." Qri asked looking at Hyomin, who was sitting right next to her, and placing a hand on her arm.  Hyomin blinked a few times her eyes at the sudden contact, coming back to her senses.

"Huh?! O-oh yeah I'm totally fine. I was just thinking about work and stuffs." The brunette said, hoping that everyone would believe at her lie. She could feel those 4 pairs of eyes on her, especially those sharp ones of Jiyeon who now made contact with hers. It was breaking her heart everything she would reflect herself in the darkness of those eyes. In fact Hyomin broke the eye contact, but only after forcing her lips in a little smile. 

The 5 girls remained in the cafeteria for almost an hour, talking about what they did in this short time they didn't see each other. Well, everyone was talking expect for Hyomin who was quietly sipping the rest of the second cappuccino she ordered.  It was hard for her to listen how well all her friends where doing, while her life was seeming to be a completely mess. It was even harder to hear Jiyeon talking about her new boyfriend.  

"So... he confessed his love for you under the rain?" Hyomin could hear Soyeon saying, followed from another exited little scream of Eunjung. Hyomin let out a little sigh that didn't pass unnoticed by Jiyeon who was sitting right in front of her. Actually, the youngest was bringing her gaze often on Hyomin, clearly concerned about her. It is rare to see the brunette so quiet and without that beautiful smile on her face.  

Just when Jiyeon was about to talk to Hyomin, wanting to make sure nothing was bottering her, the oldest stood up, making Jiyeon startled for the sudden move and the other three stopped talking to look at her. 

 "I'm sorry girls, I just remembered I have something important to do." Hyomin spoke after a long time of silence, taking of her jacket the few dollers she had inside and placing them on the table.

"Please pay for me." Hyomin added and didn't wast any second to turn on her heels and go. She couldn't take it anymore. Her heart was feeling so suffocated by all the pain she could feel that it was even hard to breath inside the cafeteria. Hyomin needed time alone to cry her heart out, to free herself for a moment from that pain that didn't want to leave completely.  She hated it. She hated that pain as much as she loved Jiyeon. 

"Wait." Hyomin heard an husky voice saying, not even a second later that she stepped out of the cafeteria. It was already dark outside and she wouldn't stop her steps if this voice wasn't really familiar. 

Hyomin clenched her teeth, trying to fight back the tears that already where growing into her eyes. Swallowing her saliva down, she then turned around, looking directly with her round brown eyes into the sharp ones of Jiyeon. 

"Did I forget something inside?" Hyomin asked, forcing herself once again to smile. 

"No.." Jiyeon simply said, making her hands slide inside the pockets of her black leather jacked since the wind was making her hands freeze. "I just want to accompany you... it's dark outside." she then continued, approaching the oldest. 

The brunette took a deep breath, trying to fight silently against those mixed feeling that where making her stomach turn upside down. 

She just wanted Jiyeon to go away but at the same time she liked how the girl was worrying about her. In fact this is one of the main reasons why Hyomin fell in love with Jiyeon; the youngest would always sense when something was bottering her and was the only one to really care about her, to always make sure she was fine. 

"Are you perhaps saying that I can't take care of myself?" Hyomin said, turning around and beginning to walk. In a second Jiyeon was next to her, walking with her same speed long the almost deserted street of Seoul. 

"Aniyo unnie, I didn't mean it like that." Jiyeon let out a little chuckle that made Hyomin's heart skip a beat. It followed a good minute of silence before Jiyeon brook it with a question she wanted to ask since earlier in the cafeteria.

"Uhm.. Hyomin... are you sure you are fine?" at this question Hyomin turned to look at Jiyeon. 

"Yes I am." she answere but Jiyeon could see the truth in her eyes. Those eyes, that always looked at her with a beautiful light, now seemed turned off, as if a strong wind blowed away the fire inside of her, as if a black veil covered her soul, making her eyes become empty and darker then usual. 

Jiyeon could feel her heart burning at the sight. It was hurting her to see such a precious person, suffering in silence. But it was hurting her even more the fact that Hyomin was lieing to her. 

 At the end the two where best friends, always counting on each other if they had a problem, always giving a hand in need of help. The two where so united to almost become one and Jiyeon was convinced that also Hyomin's heart was beating the same as hers. 

Yes, Jiyeon had strong feelings for Hyomin, she was madly in love with her but at the same time she was scared to confess. She was scared to be rejected even if she thought bot where feeling the same. At the end she couldn't be 100% sure that Hyomin would accept her feeling. She wasn't even sure if Hyomin liked girls, they never really talked about this subject. 

Jiyeon decided to put those feelings to the side -she didn't want to risk her friendship with Hyomin- and now began to date his work college Dong Gun, in hope to erase completely those strong feelings for the other girl. 

"Can't you be sincere with me?!" Jiyeon mumbled, while her feet stopped moving. She wanted to see Hyomin clearly in the eyes, talking face to face.

Hyomin stopped her steps immediately, turning to look with a bit of confusion to Jiyeon.

"Listen.." the oldest began, letting out a little sigh. "I'm sorry to be like this today... I should be happy for you and- and-..  I am happy for you. You know that I just want to see you smile, right?" Hyomin smiled slightly, feeling beginning to burn again because of the tears that where going to form in her eyes. "But I have so many things going on right now that it's even hard for me just to pretend to be fine." the brunette added. 

"But you know that whatever is your problem, you can always talk with me." Jiyeon answered, analysing every change on Hyomin's expression. She noticed h