F i r s t.

"I can't believe I'm going to be a dad soon, you know," Kim Sunggyu said dazed, knocking back his second glass of beer of that afternoon.

"But you're happy with it, right?" Jiyeon grinned widely, signalling to the cute bartender for another glass.

"Of course I am, but what if I screw it up?" Her friend asked with a terrified face. Her hand shook when she asked for a third beer.

"Just a moment ago you claim to be the best husband, and now?" Hoya sneered, throwing a derisive look at the other man. "Get it together or you'll lose your balls."

A whimper escaped Sunggyu, who paled drastically at the threat aimed at his manhood.

"You're ruthless, Hoya," Jiyeon chuckled and the man shrugged.

"Only speaking the truth," Hoya muttered and threw a scrutinizing look at Jiyeon's hand. "Still no ring? I see."

The idle remark caused Jiyeon to clench her hand and chuckle weakly while her stomach churned in unease. "Ah, yeah. We've decided not to marry after all. It's not like we need the ceremony to be a family."

"I guess so," Hoya said softly, but his piercing eyes spoke volumes about his real thoughts.

Jiyeon gratefully accepted the new glass from the red haired girl, who smiled reassuringly. "How's Minah doing?" She asked lightly.

Hoya raised an eyebrow, but accepted the abrupt change in topic. "She's fine. She has decided to teach dance to children. She is searching for an appropriate place now."

"I hope she would choose a nice uniform," Jiyeon snickered, remembering the pink spandex suit the enthusiastic dancer liked to wear.

Hoya rolled his eyes and shook his head. "As long as she doesn’t bug me about it," He retorted calmly.

"Guys, we were talking about me," Sunggyu whined, his large dog yipping in agreement.

How on earth Sunggyu managed to get away with having that large dog inside the pub, the world would never know.

"It's not like this is unexpected. You were trying after all," Hoya pointed out exasperatedly.

"That doesn't matter," Sunggyu insisted with wide eyes. "Becoming a dad is ing terrifying, man! I don't want to screw it up."

"Should have thought about that before, you for brains," Hoya growled irritated.

Jiyeon chortled, almost choking in her beer, at the insult. Usually the older man was more refined with his insults. That just made it more hilarious.

Sunggyu whined louder, Hoya ignored him and Jiyeon tried to be a sympathetic friend, but failed miserably whenever Hoya made a snide remark, resulting in the pretty woman laughing hysterically with tears streaming down her cheeks.

She knew there was a reason why she liked the stoic Hoya.

Two hours later, she said goodbye to the other two men, trusting Hoya to get Sunggyu safely home to his wife, Hani.

With a soft sigh, she started making her way to her own home at a leisurely pace. Sticking her hands in her pockets, she began humming the theme song of one of her favourite television shows, while around her people of all ages were mingling on the streets.

She was happy for her best friend; despite his panic, Jiyeon knew he would be a good father. Not only did he have experience with caring for children thanks to his younger brother and sister, but he genuinely adored children. He and his wife would be great parents.

A forlorn sigh escaped as she looked up at the sky. Hearing that another friend was going to have a baby made her own desire to be a parent flare up again. For a while now she had wanted a child, but so far she and her partner hadn't really discussed it. The whole conceiving part wouldn't be difficult, Jiyeon thought.

Her boyfriend didn't believe in marriage and while that admission still stung, Jiyeon had decided that it wasn't worth it to fight over that. But her boyfriend couldn't possibly have something against having children, right? After three years of being together, they were steady enough to bring a child into the relationship in her opinion.

Maybe she should start this particular discussion and find out what the other one thought of it.

Her contemplation was broken by a familiar tune, announcing she had received a text message. Startled, Jiyeon unearthed it from her pocket and a smile tugged involuntarily at her lips when she noticed that it was from her boyfriend.

'Don't feel like cooking and doing dishes. Want take-out?'

Jajangmyeon. Definitely Jajangmyeon. There was no question about it. Hastily she typed her answer, clicked on 'send' and then crossed the street when the light turned green.

A few minutes later she received a confirmation and it was with a large grin that she entered their modest house, located at the outskirts of the small village. She was promptly greeted by her puppy –Wang– who rubbed its bodies against her legs while purring loudly.

"Hey, Wang," Jiyeon greeted, bending down to rub a hand over its arching backs. "Had a nice day?"

"Right, you want to have your dinner, huh?" She muttered, shrugging off her jacket and hanging it over the back of the chair. "Let me grab your food."

While her puppy was having its dinner, Jiyeon carefully stepping over it – she received a faint growl from Wang, who thought his owner was planning on stealing his dinner – Jiyeon made her way to the bathroom to take a quick shower before her boyfriend came home.

Her eyes caught sight of a rectangular, white box which was placed on eye level on a small, plastic shelf next to the round bathroom mirror. It contained several strips with round, blue pills: her contraception. She had to take the contraception to ensure she wouldn't have children before she was ready. She had been taking it since three years ago – she was twenty-six now.

She always took them at nine o'clock in the evening, but hopefully she wouldn't have to take them tonight.

.

.

.

Half an hour later, Jiyeon was lounging around on the large couch, dressed in an oversized, orange T-shirt and a pair of knee-length, light brown trousers. She was avidly watching television with Wang curled up on her lap, purring weakly.

Two pairs of ears perked up when the sound of the front door opening echoed through the house.

"Jiyeon?" A low voice called out, accompanied by the sound of plastic bags crinkling. Keys were dropped in the ceramic bowl and two muted 'thumps' announced that shoes were taken off.

"I'm in the living room," Jiyeon called back and she unfolded her legs, forcing the puppy to curl up next to her hip.

The brown eyes slid from the low table – set up with chopsticks, two glasses and a bottle of cold orange lemonade – to Jiyeon seated on the couch, who grinned sheepishly at the unimpressed look she was favoured with from her boyfriend.

"We eat in the kitchen, not the living room," Suga pointed out exasperatedly, his dark hair glowing faintly in the setting sun.

"But it's take out! It's supposed to be eaten in front of the television," Jiyeon whined, her nose twitching when she picked up the delicious smell of Jajangmyeon.

Min Suga rolled his eyes and placed the two bags on the table, nudging Wang out of the way – who hissed vehemently before jumping on the arm chair – so that he could sit down next to Jiyeon.

"Don't get used to it," Suga grunted and accepted the steaming carton and a pair of chopsticks.

Jiyeon was already digging into her own serving of Jajangmyeon, relishing the savoury taste. Nothing beat Jajangmyeon, that was for sure.

"How was work?" She asked between two bites.

The other man released a sigh of aggravation and his eyes narrowed slightly. "Jin was being an idiot again," he replied irritated. "Nearly cost us a prospective client. Yura set him straight, though."

Jiyeon winced, Suga's older sister had her own brand of tough love and she felt sorry for Suga's older brother. On the other hand, she couldn't believe Jin kept acting stupid, despite years of being subjected to Yura's tough love. Was that guy suicidal?

The three siblings had inherited the lawyer business of their father and despite Jin's antics, their office was top tier and many law students longed to score a job there.

"How was your day?" Suga scrutinized her. "It was your day off, right?"

Jiyeon taught art at the local college for four days in the week and the rest of her time usually went to creating her own art. "Yeah, I met up with Hoya and Sunggyu today," She answered, plopping the empty carton on the table and letting out a soft burp. "Excuse me. Sunggyu had good news, Hani is pregnant. The dog freak was freaking out of course."

"That will be their first child, right?" Suga asked, clearly not very interested.

"Yeah, they tried for four months apparently and Hani had a check-up yesterday," Jiyeon answered and took a sip from her lemonade. She fed her Wang a small piece of pork and wondered whether now was a good moment to start the discussion. Biting her lips, she ignored the small, rough tongues lapping at her fingers while she went through a small turmoil.

"All right, what's on your mind?"

Suga's imploring question pricked through her inner turmoil and Jiyeon started, turning her head to the black haired man next to her. "What?" She asked bewildered.

"I recognize that look on your face. You want to ask something," Suga explained dryly. He threw his own empty carton in one of the plastic bags and grabbed his own glass, leaning back against the couch.

"Ah, eh, it's just …" Jiyeon hesitated, not knowing how to go on, until she thought, Ah it. No sense in beating around the bush. "Have you thought of having children of your own?" She blurted out and grimaced at the ungraceful way with which she had breached the subject. Well, nobody had ever accused her of being too graceful.

Suga blinked and Jiyeon felt her tense a bit. "Is this because of Sunggyu's news?" He questioned in a monotone voice.

Jiyeon shifted around nervously, wrapping her hands firmly around her glass. "Not exactly. When I heard Hani is expecting a baby, I was reminded of my own children wish."

"Your own children wish?"

"I've always wanted children. Be part of a real family, you know," She laughed embarrassed. "I can't remember my own parents and I've never been part of a real family. Maybe it's just because my own desire, but I really want a baby. I want your baby."

Silence fell over them and Jiyeon stared down at her nervously fiddling fingers. Her cheeks were flushed and felt uncomfortably warm. Maybe she should have tried another approach; tried to be more convincing and have more arguments ready.

The problem was that she didn't have more arguments. She only wanted to have a child badly, but she didn't know how to explain that desire. That longing was just there. Slumbering underneath the surface, ready to rear up whenever one of her close friends announced a pregnancy.

Was it that bad that she wanted to have a baby of her own?

"You wouldn't be able to work for a while, you know," Suga murmured, breaking the heavy silence.

"I know that," Jiyeon muttered, sneaking a glance at the impassive face of her boyfriend. "I wouldn't mind. Dad would be able to find a replacement for me."

Her godfather, Junsu would probably whine for a while, but he would give in. Jiyeon just hoped Junsu's erted side wouldn't decide on a good replacement.

"You won't be able to go out with your friends as much as you do now," Suga continued, his piercing gaze fixed solemnly on his girlfriend.

"I realise that, Suga, I don't mind," Jiyeon insisted and her foot bobbed nervously up and down.

Did this conversation mean that Suga was considering her request? Hope started to grow slowly. She knew it was stupid to hope, but …

"The house would need to be childproof," Suga remarked calmly.

"No problem," Jiyeon reassured him quickly. She could look up information on how to child proof their home or she could ask advice from her friends, who had already become parents. She was more than willing to do all that.

Suga pursed his lips and looked contemplatively at his girlfriend, who tried not to come over as too eager. She wasn't certain whether she succeeded.

"You really want a baby, huh?" The man murmured. "Even without us being married?"

"I don't care about being married anymore." Well, that was a lie, but she was willing to bury her wish to be married in favour of her children wish. "I just want to have a baby with you."

"Have you taken your contraception today?" Suga asked abruptly, placing his glass on the table.

Jiyeon shook her head and held her breath in anticipation.

"You ca