You fall asleep alone again
You try hard to doze off, you close your worn out eyes
When you still can’t sleep because of the  many thoughts
Follow me then

~=~=~=~

Taemin felt so drained from the moment 2PM left the dressing room to when Taecyeon had to help an empty-eyed Wooyoung limp back to their van. Minho hadn’t shown up on set yet, and it was quite clear that he didn’t intend on showing up because Nichkhun did. Taemin couldn’t help but wonder that if he had been like Wooyoung, would Minho had hurt him just as badly, if not worse. The relationship between SHINee members was weaker than that of 2PM. They had been through more hardships and from the moment they were about to lose Jaebeom to the moment when their visas were challenged and the possibility of their group disbanding because of legal issues were very probable; 2PM was able to stand strong.

Unlike SHINee whose relationship quivered every time a new challenge was introduced. It’s not like any of them wanted to fight with the other, but there was always some sort of prod which urged them to argue. The main problem, Taemin had to admit to himself, was Minho. The fool had even caused trouble in Super Junior when he started ‘hanging out’ with Kyuhyun.

Taemin rolled onto his bed. Minho still hadn’t returned home and the filming was by far over. The PD’s were yelling at the managers for not finding Minho. The managers were yelling at Onew for not keeping his dongsaengs in order. A part of Taemin sunk for Minho not being home. Could it be possible that the hyung he always looked up to had finally had enough of them and decided to leave? And another part of his heart, a bigger part, sank even deeper for Jinki who had been taking all the heat from everyone, even 2PM and earlier that month, F.T. Island.

Minho was out of control.

Taemin still remembered stumbling upon a steamy make-out session between Minho and Kyuhyun in his (well, to be correct: his and Minho’s) room. It was the night after the huge Bonamana release and the whole company secretly went out for a SMTown dinner. This also involved a massive beer-fest and Taemin was sitting quietly away from the majority of the group at SHINee’s table. He wasn’t in a partying mood tonight and watching everyone smile from a distance was nice. Suddenly, he felt a warm body next to his. Lee Sungmin. He looked at his much older hyung who still looked as young as he did years ago.

“Taeminnie, aren’t you going to go play?” Sungmin smiled with wide eyes.

“Maybe later, I don’t feel very well tonight.”

“I’m sorry. C’mon, let’s get you something to drink.” He waved his hand towards a waiter and ordered Taemin a cup of hot chocolate. It was a drink he wasn’t very fond of, but it always made him feel better because his mother used to make it for him whenever he was down, “I need to go find Kyuhyun and then I’ll drive you home, okay?” Taemin nodded.

A few songs later, Sungmin returned to him, “No luck?” he questioned.

“Yeah. They said he was drinking up at the bar a while ago,” Sungmin nodded up towards the raised bar. It was a few steps up from the main dining hall where everyone was seated, “but whatever…” he sighed, “let’s go.”

At that time, Sungmin just dropped Taemin off at his dorm and drove back to the party. He didn’t have to heart to tell him later what he had saw Kyuhyun doing. Of course, the SJ maknae was under the influence, so… this was okay, right? It was just a little slip up that Minho had pounced on. However, Taemin did tell Onew that night after Kyuhyun left and after Minho had gone to bed and Onew called Leeteuk the next morning. Onew told Taemin over the next few days that Kyuhyun and the rest of Super Junior had refused to tell Sungmin about what had happened, but over time the news had gotten to him. He had run away for quite a while and Hyukjae left to go find his best friend. By the time he found Sungmin, they were only able to shoot a few frames of the SJ-M music video. It almost brought the collapse of the whole comeback project. Kyuhyun said it was an accident and apologized and brought home a giant stuffed rabbit for Sungmin after a KRY recording. Sungmin took him back because they trusted each other with everything and he knew that Kyuhyun was telling the truth.

Taemin folded his arms.

That time wasn’t the first time he had stumbled in on Minho doing something like that. There were countless times when he went to DBSK’s dorm and didn’t come back the night after and maybe even more when he had brought stray members of other bands back for the unmentionable.

“Taeminnie” Key cooed from the door, “You okay?”

“Hyung, can I talk to you?” he shifted around on the bed; folding his legs and sitting up to look at Kibum.

“Sure” Key sat down on the edge of the mattress, “what’s on your mind, Minnie?”

“What’s going to happen to Minho-hyung?” his eyes drifted around the room from picture frame to picture frame.

“Well, right now, I don’t know. Onew just ran out because he got a call from the office.” Key sighed, “But from the tone on the other end of the call… I’m guessing it’s not something good.”

“It’s raining outside.” He looked out the window, “Will he be okay?”

Key rubbed Taemin’s back, “He’ll be fine.”

~=~=~=~

I've given you

In a such young age, a sincere love

Can't you accept it?

~=~=~=~

Key finally managed to get Taemin out of his room and out in the living room between he and Jonghyun on the couch. They continued to try to entertain the maknae and to pull jokes and make him smile, but all that came out was a few courtesy laughs and many failed attempts until the door opened and a soaking Onew stepped in.

“What’s the news?” Jonghyun stood up to grab a towel for the dripping leader.

He was silent for a moment before answering shakily, “They said if I don’t manage to find Minho tonight… he’ll be cut from SHINee and fired from the company.”

Key stood up, “Hyung.” Onew rubbed his face quickly with the towel and threw it back on the couch.

He sauntered over to Taemin and kneeled down to meet his eye-level on the couch. After sneezing and coughing for a moment he spoke, “I won’t let that happen, okay. Stop. You don’t need to worry so much. Just sit here, stay warm…” He stood up, leaving Taemin in a daze, “You two,” he pointed at Key and Jonghyun, “stay here in case he comes back. I’ll be back.”

And with that, the Dubu-leader bolted back out the door.

Taemin clamored towards the window and peaked out. The sky was grey and the sidewalk was bleak. No one was out right now. The thunder rolled over the horizon as he watched Onew’s mouse-sized body trot down the street in the rain. He started to walk towards the door but was caught by Jonghyun around the arm, “You’re not going out in that storm.”

“Hyung, with all due respect, let me go.” He begged. Jonghyun must’ve started working out again because he was much stronger now than he was for the Hello comeback.

“I’m sorry Taeminnie, but we can’t let you out in this weather,” Key pulled Taemin back and made him sit back down on the couch, “we only let Onew go because he’s older than us and we can’t say much. Umma needs to protect baby, okay.” Taemin pouted, but nodded.

Hours passed without sign of Onew returning. He had left around 10:00am, but now the sky was beginning to darken even though it was only 4:00pm. Jonghyun and Key had turned to taking shifts between watching over Taemin and calling around to other groups to see if they’d seen Minho. No leads came up.

At a moment of weakness when Jonghyun had to use the bathroom and Key was busy calling in the back room Taemin quickly ran out the door.

He ran nonstop for about five blocks before his lungs gave way to exhaustion. There was no way he would let Minho leave like this, at least not without a goodbye. He let his feet carry him a block or so more and through a few alleyways. Taemin had not a clue as to where he was headed and for a split second he lost sight as to what he was searching for. The shivers started seeping into his skin and chilled his bones, but he continued looking up and down buildings and into stores whose owners shooed him out after saying that they hadn’t seen Minho.

His hope for finding the rapper slowly faded, but swiftly returned as he saw a black hooded body walking down the opposite street. Taemin jogged in place waiting for the green light to turn red so he could contact the man that he’d been waiting days to see again. Having crossed the street and flown across dozens of the square cement slabs on the ground with strong wide strides, he stretched is arms out only to grab at empty air.

No, this can’t be right. He felt the tears well up in his eyes. He swore that the figure he saw walking down the street was Minho and not some illusion caused by his damaged mind. Taemin’s hands came to his eyes to wipe away unmanly tears. He was cold and soaked and stupid for coming out without a jacket or an umbrella.

“Taemin, what are you doing here?” a familiar grainy voice rang behind him, but it was hoarser than before, “I thought I told you to stay at home.” He coughed once and swallowed; that was all.

“Sorry, hyung.” He blurted out between sniffles. A warm fabric draped around his shoulders. Onew had covered him with his black and white baseball jacket. The rain drops slid off the leather sleeves and pattered on the ground, “No, hyung it’s fine.”

“You can’t say you’re not cold when you’re shivering in a short-sleeved shirt.” Onew felt his own forehead briefly and frustration made a brief appearance in his eyes before he looked back to Taemin with a soft smile, “Please go home and get dry before it gets dark.”

“I can’t. I need to look for Minho. I’ll help you hyung-” Taemin’s protest was cut short by Onew taking a long step closer to him and pulling the sides of the jacket closed.

“No.” he fastened the middle button, “Please, Taemin, go home before you get sick. You can’t be close Minho later if you’re sick.” He took the thought into consideration. Onew took a step back. His brown hair was now black with rain and his grey shirt had turned black.

“But Jinki-hyung” Taemin watched as Onew turned away from him to sneeze. He was burning up Onew’s time. The longer he hesitated to let Onew go alone, the longer the leader would stand in the cold and the farther Minho would be able to escape, “Fine… I’ll go home.”

“Text me with Key’s phone when you get there so I know you’re safe.” He smiled victoriously.

“Fine.” Taemin waited, “But when will you come home?”

“Give me three hours. I’ll be home in three hours.” Another roll of thunder cascaded above their heads. It was already pretty dark. Taemin had been running miscellaneously for two hours already and the sun was setting rapidly in the distance. There was no way Onew would be able to find Minho and get home within three hours.

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying, I promise.” Onew started to walk away, “I would never lie to you.”

~=~=~=~

Even if tears sometimes
Cover both your eyes
Never become weak

Onew grabbed his collar and yanked him close, “How could you risk this much?!”

He finally found Minho inside a neon club with a younger man who was clearly having his first drink and was already swooning.

“Risk what, hyung?” Minho pushed Onew away. It didn’t take much strength to remove the leader’s fists from his shirt. He was already weak from trotting out in the cold for so many hours and the bar tender was opposing his staying in the club.

“You’re going to get fired, man. I’m not joking. Just put down the booze and get back home right now.” Jinki steadied himself and brushed off the bartender saying that he’d be out of there in a few minutes.

“You come in here soaking wet, grab me, ruin my date and expect me to go with you?” Minho scoffed, “You have got to be kidding me.”

“No. I’m not.” Onew slid Minho’s drink away from him, “You’re in’ wasted. This isn’t a date; this is getting lucky on a poor kid that you’ve given too many drinks to.” He stood more firmly, “How far did you go with Nichkhun?” he mumbled.

“Nothing .” Minho reached for his drink, but Onew slapped his hand away.

“You do know that you’ve worried Taemin and the rest of us sick, right?” he pushed the drink further down the bar and coughed once.

“What do I care?” Minho cracked his knuckles, “You know, sometimes you can you can be a huge in’ pain of a leader. Taemin needs to grow up and learn on his own that all his hyungs won’t stay with him forever.”

Onew was about to use his clenched fist to give Minho a piece of his mind, but people were starting to stare. A crowd would not be good for SHINee’s publicity and a fight would be bad for their image so Onew lowered his fist, “You’re coming home whether you like it or not. I promised Taemin that I’d bring you home and I intend to keep that promise.”

I feel like I’ve become a clown trapped in a glass castle
I dance for you, who will never be satisfied
You look into me openly, touching my brain
I think I’ve become a fool

~=~=~=~

He went into the elevator, still wet and cold, but something caught his eye. The mirror inside the elevator which was usually pristine and clean now had a large crack in the center of it. He wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before on his way down. It hit him just then that this may have been the thing that Onew punched a few days ago.

Ping.

He arrived at his floor and numbly walked through the narrow hallway which led to their dorm. Upon opening the front door he was mauled by two worried hyungs who he found would not let him go after he changed into dry clothes.

~=~=~=~

Even if there’s no one
To understand your grieving heart
Never give up

~=~=~=~

Taemin stared at the clock on the wall. It ticked slowly. Onew said three hours, but already two hours and fifty-three minutes had passed; make that fifty-four.

“Key, it’s getting late, I think we should call the managers to get Onew.” Jonghyun had his arm around Taemin, making sure he wouldn’t leave the vicinity of the dorm again.

“If we call the managers they’ll be even more furious that Onew has left like this.” Key’s voice was worried, but has he finished his sentence there was rustling from the other side of the door and the jingle of keys as Onew shakily selected the right one from the loop of shining keys. Jonghyun jumped up and yanked the door open, pulling in a weak Onew with it. He had Minho under his arm and the two nearly fell into the heated living room. The ‘flaming charisma’ Minho was wet with rain and his hair had it dripping onto the wood floor of the living room while Onew had created his own little puddle of water under his feet.

Taemin slowly stood up to face Minho. His face was stern and serious.

“Where have you been?” he whispered as Minho wrapped his arms around the mushroom headed boy; careful not to breath alcohol onto him.

“Looking for something.”

“Yeah, he’s been out.” Onew sniffled after brushing off Jonghyun and Key, “looking for something for you.”

“Really?” Taemin returned the tight hug and let go when he felt Minho’s arms move between them and reach for a little present stored in his coat.

“Here. For you, Minnie.” He smiled with a charming grin as Taemin’s soft hands took the present from his and opened it to reveal a small stuffed mushroom with a cute face.

“Aw, it’s so cute, thanks.” Taemin tucked it away. He loved the present, but what he loved more was the fact that his two hyungs had returned safely.

"Yeah, I've been looking for it. It was in the shop one day and gone the next. So I've been looking around town for it" Minho rested his head ontop of Taemin's, "Sorry I worried you so much, Minnie."

“Onew, you have a fever.” Key removed his hand from Jinki’s forehead.

“I bet it’s just me heating up from running home.” He laughed as he tenderly returned Key’s hand to him, “You two must be drained from watching Taemin all day, why don’t you go rest, I’ll order dinner.”

“Hyung,” Jonghyun stepped in front of Key, “you can’t hide that you’re ridiculously sick right now.”

“Hyung knows no sickness,” Onew smiled, “I'm not sick. I'm strong.”

Worry creased across Key’s brow, “…don’t do this to yourself, hyung. You're really sick.”

“I’m not…” he stumbled forward and was about to hit the ground when Jonghyun caught him.

“Liar.” 

~=~=~=~

When I approach you
With your angelic face
Say the reason you live is for me

~=~=~=~

Say it.

"I love you, Minho"

==============================================

Thanks for reading~ 

Special review from winterbling (she's an awesome OnTae writer who will provide you with satisfactory happy endings. Go check her out! I even hyperlinked her story page for you, dear):

          The title intrigued me because it brought to mind something of an angsty feeling and I'm a er for angst. Plus, it's unique enough to draw readers into clicking it. The flow of the story was fine but there were some parts that got slightly awkward and vague. One example would be the confrontation with 2PM. I didn't really understand what happened between Minho and Nickhun because there were a bit too many details and the highlight of the paragraph wasn’t conveyed across clearly.
          On the bright side, I liked your emphasis on Taemin’s unhappiness at Minho’s behavior and Onew’s constant care for him. The part where the group was worrying about Minho was written very well in the way that the details were evenly spread out and the lack of events was very helpful in inciting an air of uncertainty and anxiety with Minho’s disappearance.
          Furthermore, I loved how you showed Onew’s love for the maknae through the gift that he gave Minho. I think that it was pretty obvious that Onew was planning to give it to Taemin himself but sacrificed it willingly enough just to patch up the relationship that Minho didn’t deserve. It’s a fresh side of the leader that I don’t often see. Onew’s love for Taemin in this story is pretty admirable and it’s touching to see him serious and genuinely selfless despite the pain and anger that he would be feeling in 2min’s messed up relationship. The way Onew is always at Taemin’s side to comfort and support him while smoothing things over behind his back is really sweet when any sane person would probably leave a long time ago.
           It’s a pretty good story overall but I suggest that you do a sequel to solidify the somewhat incomplete ending and to cheer up all the Ontae shippers.
           Congrats! 

Song credits/lyrics via SHINee's Replay, Lucifer, A-Yo, and Ring Ding Dong.

This story is part of a collection of my oneshots: 50 Days to Love You More