She's crying . 

I know she's sad and hurt with my decision. But she didn't say it infront of me. 

I know it's my fault. I should tell her first . I should at least discuss with her . But no . We didn't . We can't . I can't . She already busy with her drama filming and other show's schedule . I didn't find a right time to tell her .

Jaesuk hyung came to me and say a few encouraging words. I hug him tight. It's not the last time we'll see each other. I will meet him again outside of the show. I tell him sorry and he say its okay. He respect my decision. Kwangsoo also come to me with his red eyes. I just laugh when he apologize to me and hug him. This time my eyes directed again to her. Jaesuk hyung was staying beside her and hold her shoulder. I can see her red and teary eyes when she listen to whatever Jaesuk say to her. This time Haha and Jongkook hyung both come and hug me. They say how they'll miss me later ." Hey, you can meet me again okay .. It's not i'm no longer in korea." They laughed when i'm saying that. Sukjin hyung came and saying a few words while Kwangsoo hugging me from behind. I smile and laughed all the time. It's feels just like dinner that we usually do every month. I went to every staff and pd to say thank you and goodbye . I don't want them to be sad but still they got teary eyes when i hug them . Oh man...

And then i went to her. She's no longer crying . I smile and touch her cheek before pull her into my arms.  I say i'm sorry to her . And she say back to me slowly with her cracked voice. "Pabo..."

That one word really  make my heart swelling. I look at her and she give me her warm look. I know she understand . She's hurt but she understand . That's enough.

I say my final words before bow my head and went home. Haha and Jongkook sent me to my car. I tried to hold on but my tears finally came out . I look up to the sky while grabbing my fist and bite my lips. Still trying to fight the tears . There's many fans waiting outside and i saw some of them crying . Did they know about this? I'm sorry,guys ...i'm sorry ..

I sat alone in my room while staring at my notebook infront of me. The news about me already went out in the internet. Many of my friends send me a encouraging message and wishing me all the best . I stare at the background photo on my notebook screen. Me and other member's photo. All of sudden my memory went back to the first time i joined them. The first time i became the member of Runningman. All the memory . All the laugh. The joy. The happy moment. The sad moment. It all come to me one by one. And i feel my heart aching. Oh god its hurt..

I didn't notice when she came into my room but when she hug me from behind i cry. I cried all my emotion that i hold from the morning. From the start of today's filming. It's been 6 years we've been together and i can't stay with them anymore. She turn around my chair and now i'm facing her. 

"I'm sorry Jihyo ah.. I'm sorry for not telling you.."

She smile but her eyes wet. 

"Oppa .." she hold my cheeks.

"It's okay oppa.. I'm understand.. No one is blaming you.. We understand your decision..  I know you already try your best to give all of you..but i also know what music means to you.. It's your world.. Your soul.. Its time for you to focus on your world.. Don't worry oppa.. I trust you.."

She hug me again.

"And i'm sorry oppa.. This few weeks i didn't have time to meet you and i'm too busy with my work.. Tonight.. I 'll be with you.."

I hug her tight .It's feel good to be with her .Oh how i miss her. Yes . I miss her so much . 

She looked at me.

"Now.. I'm no longer your Monday couple.."

She hold my cheeks with both hands.

"I'll be your everyday couple.. Okay?"

I smile and nodded. We hugging each other again. The sadness still there in my heart but i know everyone will understand. Runningman will always in my heart. It has a special meaning to me. I hope next time we meet again, we can still talk about all the memories we've been create together. Eventhough i'm no longer a Runningman's member....

Goodbye, Runningman ....

A/N;::: just my imagination....urghhhh.. Im still can't accept it but i'll try ..(╥_╥) he's the reason im watching runningman..but i'll try to understand ...