Sobs began escaping from his parted lips. He pulled his legs closer to his body as he allowed his hot stinging tears to fall and stain his jeans. He could still remember the scene earlier on vividly.

"Erm Yixing, remember our promise to go out together for a bite?"

Yixing turned around with a blank look, staring at him for a second. He scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly back at him.

"I forgot... I'm already going out with Sehun to the arcade and we're going to eat together too..."

He bit his lips and looked down at the cold hard ground for a moment before looking up at Yixing.

"It's alright. I understand... I'll-I'll just ask Kyung Soo or someone else instead."

He forced a smile even though tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. His voice was trembling but perhaps Yixing was too focused on thinking about his outing with Sehun later on that he did not notice the sense of pain and sadness in his tone.

"Jun Myeon, sorry I need to go now!"

Yixing casually grabbed onto his small sling bag before running out of the room without even turning back for a second look to bid farewell. Through the crack of the door, he could see a glimpse of Yixing smiling brightly to Sehun as their arms were placed around each other.

He was now sitting at a corner of a room as he sank his nails into his skin, hoping the pain in his heart to go. Memories came to him bit by bit as endless tears rolled down his tear-stained face.

"Erm... J-Jong Dae ah, would you like to go fishing with me?"

Jong Dae turned around to face the embarrassed man who was standing by the room's door. He pushed up his spectacles which was drooping from his nose bridge as he opened his mouth.

"Are you trying alittle too hard? To get me to go out with you?"

The words struck him like arrows to his heart,  piercing them again and again as the words played in his mind repeatedly. His cheeks grew hotter and he began breaking into a cold sweat.

"Because if you are, I'm sorry I'm not interested in you. Just look at yourself. How can you compare yourself with Minseok?"

Those words that happened within seconds made him rooted to the ground. A lump began forming in his throat. Speechless, he could only open and close his mouth repeatedly. He gave a slight nod before turning back and closing the door behind him. His vision was already blurring but he felt no strength in his legs to leave. He just fell to his knees as he broke down.

By then, the warmth of the room was lost. The chilly wind came in through the opened windows, reducing the temperature of the room drastly. He was shivering in cold. And fear.

"Hey want to hear a joke?"

"What?"

"Do you know what's the name of the park in New York?"

"Er... I don't know."

"Linkin Park."

Silence followed by with only his laughter breaking it. All the members just stood there, eyes blinking and staring at him blankly.

"Jun Myeon, your jokes are really bad honestly. Really bad."

"Yeah stop it, hyung."

Upon hearing Jong In and Baekhyun's comment, he immediately shut his mouth and pouted. He silently muttered a "sorry" before walking off.

He was afraid. Afraid that people hated him. Hated him for make such lame jokes. Being such a stupid person who thought that he could get the attention of Jong Dae, the coolest guy who was nice to everyone and his vocals were no joke. He thought he was fine, but maybe not.

He was just baking a cake in the random afternoon, just to celebrate the band's anniversary but soon felt dejected as soon as Kyung Soo came by.

With his huge eyes and puzzled look, he commented, "Hyung, what is that? Are you making some sort of trash or something?"

It was then he stopped cooking. Everytime he went back home to visit his parents, he would just bring some kimbaps that he purchase on his way back. The first few times his parents would question him why he did not bring those kimchi or buckwheat noodles that he would always make for them whenever there was a chance to visit, however he always avoided the question, changing the topic everytime they ask. He would always allow the tears to fall when he shower so that no one ever know or ask about him.

No one cares about me right? I'm useless. I'm stupid. I'm not perfect. I'm not interesting. I'm so lame...

He would then hit himself, slap himself in the shower as he lay his head onto the wall, allowing the water from the shower head to wash his tears together away into the drain. 
He could totally remember whenever they had concerts, individual cheers for him would always be the softest. Whenever he stood at a certain place of the stage, it was always filled with the least fans. When he sang, he could even see some fans running off to another area, screaming for Jong In, Baekhyun or Chanyeol's name. Any name and just not his.

Unknowingly, he picked up the photo frame of all twelve members, including him, and hurled it in a distance, causing the glass to shatter, with some glass pieces slashing him by accident. He whinced in pain slightly before picking the photo up. It was the photo of them after their first debut showcase. It had been many years already but he could still remember. His eyes were already hurting and becoming puffy from the amount of tears he was shedding but it seems like the stinging water would never stop because here he was weeping again as the words that Sehun had once spoke to him was hurting him again.

"All of them left because of you... You're a bad leader. You're supposed to lead. You're supposed to make sure we stay united as one... You're the one who promised we'll stay as one, always the one shouting EXO we are one and telling us to love. Yet you did not. You can't even do it... How... How did you even become the leader... I-I really miss Luhan... I miss the times when all twelve of us were together..."

As much as the other words that the members told him, this was the only time he almost thought he had lost it. He could not hear anything except for the words that Sehun had uttered. Even though it had happened ages ago, the feeling of thinking and remembering it again was still haunting and killing him.

Maybe I'm really a bad leader... I can't even keep a simple promise. My words are like empty promises... The members must be so angry at me... They must be so disappointed in me. I only had one job and it was just to make sure the group stayed together happily as one and... I've failed it... Perhaps I'm not even needed...

He could remember the words his manager had said that one fateful day. He praised everyone for making a good load of effort to record quickly. Even Sehun's singing was praised. However, when it came to his turn, he was criticized and the manager even yelled for him to get out, refusing to let him to record until only a few hours later.

"Jun Myeon, what are you doing? Your singing is so bad that now I'm actually thinking what have you been doing in those nearly eight years of training and how did you even become a vocal. Like Sehun actually did it better than you! I should just let him take over your lines, shouldn't I?"

Maybe I'm really a bad singer. I'm so useless. Why am I even still in his group... Now I think about it, how would Yixing even like me... How would Yixing even love me... He's so talented. His dance, vocal and even rap is so on point. I can't match him... I can never...

"Just look at yourself."

"You're a bad leader."

All the hurtful comments came rushing in again and he bit his lips again as he stared at the photo that he had in his hands again. He carefully and slowly tore his part away from the photo, leaving only the eleven members in the photo. He took the torn piece before crushing it in his fist, hurling it into the dustbin located near him. He picked himself up onto his feet weakily before opening the door and heading to wherever his feet dragged him to.

"Yixing wouldn't love me. Yixing is perfect. I'm full of flaws. Yixing have a bright future. I have nothing. Yixing will live a better life without me. I will just be a burden. I'm not capable to keep him interested in me. I'm not able to make him happy. He'll be more happy with someone else... Baekhyun... Sehun... Chanyeol... Just not me."

Words that his inner self kept on repeating to him. He sighed as he stared below him. He was now standing at the edge of the rooftop, with the chilly air brushing across his cheeks. His hands were freezing cold but he cared nothing. His vision blurred once again. He smiled at the beautiful ombre colour the sky had. He smiled at the fluffy white clouds that were passing by. He smiled at the little birds that were chirping and flying across the sky as if they had no worries at all.

"Such a beautiful day... I don't deserve this beautiful scene... But thank you god..."

He held out his hands and closed his eyes with a smile as he allowed his weight to lean forward. He thought he was going to fall, crash hard onto the ground and maybe even hear his head breaking or blood splattering all over the ground but no. He felt nothing except for warmth creeping from his back. Two strong arms were wrapped around his waist, pulling him back from the edge.

"Jun Myeon, don't."

A trembling voice could be heard behind him.

"J-Jun Myeon, don't..."

It was a voice full of fear and sadness. He thought tears were running from his eyes but no. Sniffs and whimpering were coming from the person behind him. He opened his eyes and turned back.

It was Yixing.

"J-J-Jun Myeon, what are you trying to do..."

Seeing how hurt Yixing was, he turned around and pulled Yixing into a warm embrace.

"Why are you here? W-Why did you come? I-I thought you were with Sehun..."

Yixing could not stop crying. Tears that knew no end were falling like rain.

"I was. I was! B-But when I was heading back to grab my wallet, I-I saw you on the rooftop. So I-I-I ran. I was so afraid to lose you... So scared that you will be gone before I could tell you I love you... I feared that I would not be able to see you again..."

Yixing pulled him into a tighter hug as his tears soaked his shirt.

"Jun Myeon, I-I really love you..."

He pulled away from Yixing alittle as he stared into his chocolate brown eyes that were now sparkling due to the tears that were still at the verge of falling from his eyes. Some stray strands of his black hair fell in front and partially covered his eyes too.

"Jun Myeon, I love you. Don't leave me..."

He was left frozen on the spot, unable to process what had just happened. He could not believe his ears. He thought he was dreaming. He thought his ears had played a trick on him but soon it was proved that it was reality when Yixing inched forward and kissed his parted lips as he pulled him closer with a hand on his nape. The kiss lasted long and it was nothing passionate. Just a kiss displaying their feelings and affection for each other. Then, he pulled away from Yixing for a moment before continuing.

"I love you too."

Author's Note:

Hellooooo here's a new fanfic :D Hopefully yall will like it hehe :) Now I feel kinda bad for not posting this on time haizz ;-; sorry for not meeting with the deadline >.< I'll try my best to do so for the rest of the fanfics ><;; Alright stay tune for the next part :D Byeeeez <3

Btw, do remember to vote for EXO in MAMA and continue streaming EXO Monster MV XD Special thanks to the readers who continue to support my fanfics!! ^^