Hari's fingers were itching to presss the send button because her heart was saying yes but at the same time her brain was screaming no. No. Don't send the message. You will only become disappointed if he doesn't reply or even if he does it will probably be ignorant. 

Yes. Send it to him. You won't truly know how he feels if you don't say anything, her heart said.

Hari felt her heart clenched and her stomach churning when she realized both sending and not sending the email was a good idea. She was scared of being disappointed at his reply. What if he said he doesn't care or question what was the purpose of this email? What if he never felt the same way these past few years and she has been the only one holding onto the pieces of the past? What if she was just a small fragment of his past? What if what happened between them was just a phase and nothing more nothing less?

Those thoughts scared her. 

But at the same time, she doesn't know how he truly feels and the only thing she has seen is his exterior self. He may look like he doesn't care but what if he felt different in the inside? What if he does care but was scared to man up and tell her or everything was just too awkward to bring up?

A light knock on the door snapped Hari out of her train of thought.

"Hari are you sleeping?" her stepmother's voice resounded outside of her bedroom door. Hari quickly shut down all the tabs she had opened. Her eyes flickered to the tab with the unsent email but quickly closed that one too as she can just write another one the next morning. Then she proceeded to unplug her laptop charger, closed her laptop, and her night light. She quietly tip toed to her bed and settled in her bed, draping the blanket over her body and pretended to be asleep. 

The door of her bedroom opened followed by bright yellow orangish lights in the hallway. As she turned her body to the side, she could hear light footsteps creaking as her stepmother came closer. Hari squeezed her eyes shut and pretended to snore as a sign she was in "deep sleep". She felt a hand hovering over her forehead and touching it lightly, but it was retreated as soon as it came in contact with her. 

"Sweet dreams," she heard her stepmother whispered before hearing her footsteps walk away. The door of her bedroom shut followed by an eerie silence as she was enloped by the darkness. The only light source came from her night light but it was dim and it barely lit up a small corner of her room. 

Hari let out a heavy breath that she didn't know she was holding as an unsettling feeling washed over her. Usually she wouldn't mind talking to her stepmother or having her coming up to her room to ask her to eat dinner but there are days when she feels so irritated having another woman living in her home, taking her dead mother's place. And today happened to be one of those days and she didn't want anything else other than to be alone.

Hari opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was a small picture frame sitting on her other night desk. It was small and dusty but the two people in the photo was clear and the happy smiles were evident on their faces. As she picked up the picture, her heart ached as memories from her past slowly came back to her. This picture was the last picture she had taken with him after the dance. They both looked happy in the picture as they stared at each other. The corner of her lips curved upwards into a bittersweet smile.

I really miss you Taehyung.

- - -

Hari felt herself being lifted in the air. When she opened her eyes, she was met with a beautiful oranged colored sky, the sun setting in the distance. The cool breeze made her hair flew back and she was suddenly reminded of her primary school days.

Then Hari felt herself fall back and the sunset was replaced by a clear blue sky filled with fluffy white clouds with shapes of different animals. She landed on something spiky but soft. When she looked down, she realized it was grass she was standing on. It wasn't until she looked around did she realized she was standing in the middle of the baseball field in her primary school. 

What am I doing here? was the first thing Hari thought of. She looked around but saw nobody. The only thing that was nearby was a baseball and a baseball bat lying on the mat of the home base. 

"Hey," someone casually said from behind her. Hari whipped her head around and her heart jumped in joy when she saw the boy she have been dying to talk to. He was a lot taller than the last time they had talked and instead of casual clothes she would see him wear, he was wearing his school uniform from junior high. He had left the first 3 button ed and his tie was unproperly done. He had his hands in his pocket and a playful smile formed on his face upon seeing her.

She really missed his voice and smile.

"Hey," came Hari's casual reply. In reality, all she wanted to do was run over and hug him, ask how he was doing, and what the hell was he thinking when he completely ignored her in high school. But her feet remained tightly glued to the ground and she felt if she made one single movement, he would disappear.

Taehyung took a step closer to her while she remained where she was. The distance between them became shorter with every step he took and it wasn't until he was one step away from her did he come to a complete stop. Hari's breath hitched upon seeing his face so up close.

He looks so handsome. 

"Like what you see?" Taehyung teased as he leaned in. Hari was too caught up in her own thoughts to process what he said until a few seconds have passed. 

"Still cocky as always huh?" Hari joked back. The two friends frowned at each other before backing up and bursting into laughter. Hari felt all of her burden and troubles lifted off her shoulder at that moment. It wasn't until she heard his laughter did she realize she might have missed him more than she could put in words.

It was just like the old times.

When they have both calmed down, they found themselves laying on the grass as they both looked at the sky. Taehyung was pointing at the clouds and saying which clouds looked like which animals while Hari contently listened while having faced him.

While Taehyung was busy pointing at everything, Hari took this time to closely examine his face. His eyes were innocent unlike the pair of eyes she see in school which was filled with pride and ignorance. His sharp nose was still probably the best part of his feature. Then her eyes shifted to his lips and she watched it move as he kept continuing to ramble on. That's when she got emotional and before she could stop herself, she asked the question that has always been on her mind.

"Taehyung, do you hate me?"

Taehyung's mouth came to an abrupt stop and the finger he was using to point at the clouds froze in mid air. His eyes slowly came in contact with hers and Hari realized then she could stare at it all day if she could. But reality was cruel and she knew this moment would never happen again.

Taehyung's lips turned into a firm line and suddenly the blue sky was replaced by an orange color she had seen in the beginning. The sun was beginning to set.

She knew their time together was coming to an end.

"Hari, wake up."

That was the last thing Taehyung told her before everything went black.

- - -

Hari gasped for air as she shot up out of her bed. Beads of sweats were dripping down her face and she was panting heavily. Hari looked around to see that she was in her bedroom and a wave of disappointments washed over her when she realized the Taehyung she just saw moments ago was just a part of her dream. Something her brain merely created during a sleep. None of it was real.

Hari let out a soft sigh as she looked out the window and saw that the sun has risen and it looked too bright outside to still be 6 o'clock. Her eyes landed on the clock which read 7:20. Letting out a groan, Hari dropped back on her bed and spent a few minutes staring the ceiling, having regret sleeping so late last night and spent so much time on a stupid email which she didn't even save.

Talking about the email, if she had sent it last night, would Taehyung have read it by now? Would Taehyung have given her an answer by now? Would her day today be different from the rest of the days from the last 3 years? Would Taehyung be talking to her again?

She had so many questions and they would probably all be answered if she had the nerve to send him that email last night. But it's not easy and simple to do something as small as that. He was different compared to everyone else and for some reason, she's so cautious regarding anything related to him.

All she can do is hope that today will be different from the rest.