The first day passed by like a big blur. I tried my best not to remember what happened. Not even the time, when I thought I’d glimpse a familiar looking person walking towards the vocal studio. It couldn’t be him I thought. I shrugged off the idea and continued to my class. Nobody talked to me. I felt lonely and sad. What did I do?  I knew I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. We were all created equal. So why did some human beings think otherwise? I bet they didn’t even know that they were living in denial. Of course they wouldn’t know. They were to blinded and distracted by their own riches that they didn’t even remember that a God existed. But I still remembered and vowed that I’d never forget. It was through Him that I was awarded a scholarship! And I thanked him every day for it. I didn’t question why I was being treated so unfairly. Instead, I thought I was being challenged. God was testing my strength and I ought to prove that I was strong indeed. I made a promise. I promised that I would never cry again. I promised God that. I’d never fail that.

“Chanhi!!!” Suji yelled from the other side of the bathroom, the sounds of her fists banging against the door’s widen frame caused me to jump in fright and also scaring myself in the process when I saw how horrid my eyes looked the in mirror. They were so dry and empty and dark; lifeless.  The dark bags below could’ve accommodated the population of China and more.  I reached for the soap with shaky, sweaty hands and smothered it all over my face in an uncivilized fashion ,trying not  to let the suds penetrate my tightly shut eyelids.

“Chanhi!” her voice roared. I splashed some water on my face and fumbled around the room for a dry towel. I felt my leg foot caught onto something that sent me hurtling forward where I landed right on my chest. The sharp chain exploded in the centre of my chest like fireworks. I bit my lip hard and tried not to let out a cry. Then I heard the door handle turning. I shot right up, disoriented and hurt, and rubbed the white flurry material’s rough texture all over my face. I couldn’t let Suji see me in that state. She’d never see me tear up and crumble. Never.

“What the hell were you doing so long??” She huffed and puffed when she barged in.

“Uh, I was..uh.” The words were not coming to my mouth. They stuck in my throat like a bone in a dog’s throat. I was appalled by how she looked. Those blood red shot devilish eyes of hers equated to the imaged of a raccoon high on drugs waiting in the distance just ready to assail its defenceless prey, which was me. Suji scared me a lot but her standing there with red eyes so huge like the fiery ball of gas right before dust crept upon a fertile land, scared me the most.

“I don’t care.” She hissed, her saliva travelling a mile per second across the plain white room only missing my face by inches. “You filthy piece of !” I scurried past her when she raised a fist above her head in attempt to harm me.

“What the hell?!” I yelled, standing outside of the confines of the bathroom. She turned slowly like her joints were swollen and her body was in some serious pain. Then I realized for just the brief moment whilst we we’re jumping down each other’s throat, she’d been stifling non-stop and she kept on wiping the fluids that were leaking from her nose with the back of her hand. Her wiping her nose like that seemed so weird since she slays acted as an advocate for rags. Every where she went she always had a rag but she didn’t have one now.

“Get out !” The door slammed in my face, producing a light gust of cool wind that caused the loosed tendrils in my band to fly up in surrender.

Those hurtful words, she’d never understand how much it hurt to hear someone say that to you every day, including your own blood related sister. Hearing it every day only contributed to the fact that I actually started to believe it. I started to believe that I was a , though I never slept with anyone and didn’t do stuff s did.

“Chanhi!!!! Come on, dinner’s ready!” I heard my mom called.

***

There was awkward silence, the clanking of forks and spoons against cutlery and silver ware and the slurping of the hot beverages. No one looked at each other. Everyone focused on the cooked food on their plate like it was the only care in the world. Normally, dad would initiate a family discussion over dinner, but he just rolled the sausage over his plate with the great fascination of a two year old boy. Only the sweet melodies of the birds singing outside proved that life outside of the seemingly lifeless house existed. I bet they didn’t even notice that they were birds on the branch outside. Who notices small stuff like that anymore? Anyone?

“Suji?” Dad called. “How was your first day of college?”

Suji’s eyes widened in amazement at the plain of the brown shelly rice that covered her plate and was also saturated in the heavy dark brown coloured gravy.  Silence. My mom, dad and I waited for her response. Her eyes widened even more to my surprise that they could even get anything bigger than they actually were. They were already like the size of saucers.

“Suji?”

She smiled and started to laugh like a hyena. My mom raised a hand to as if trying to cover up her shock as to why Suji was behaving so weirdly. Mom’s gesture made me worried as well. Her laughter filled the room, the pitch of her voice started to scratch against our ear drums then she stopped. She stopped laughing and threw dad a serious expression that could’ve had a hunter rethinking his wishes to enter the Amazon Forest.

“School was fine, dad.” I answered to shatter the awkward silence that returned after Suji’s weird outburst.

He nodded and smiled. “That’s good, dear.” He said.

I nodded too and forced a fork full of wet rice in my mouth. Mhmm. Sausage and rice wasn’t the best or balanced meal anyone could ask for except my family. We were glad for any edible thing that could satisfy our stomachs for a while. Food was scarce and my dad’s farm wasn’t producing much since we moved to Seoul Leigh.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing honey, eat your dinner now.” She looked up from her plate. “Please.” She added.

I knew something was wrong. I could feel it tearing at my blood vessels. Why weren’t they as happy and perky as they usually were? Something must have surely happened. Too many weird scenarios were happening.

“Dad, don’t lie to me.” I begged, looking at him with pleading eyes. “What happened? Why is everyone acting so different?”

He only sniffled when he dared to look me in the eyes. The melancholy was evident in his eyes because they weren’t sparkling. They always sparkled in the light, no matter how dim and or dull the light was. That was how he got the nickname “Black Gems” from me, because I was always fascinated by how his black beads glistened in any light, which I thought was so priceless since I never ever met any other person in my life whose eyes had the ability to do that. Nobody.

“Someone.” Mom started and stopped to look at dad who was still looking at me with sadness.

“Someone what?” I urged.

“Someone burnt out farm.” Dad completed before bursting into tears. “All our crops and livestock gone. All gone!”

“No!” Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t believe it. No. “Dad, you must have been mistaken!” I said but his crying proved that what he said was true. The world before my eyes zoomed out of my focused and I found myself freezing on the cold streets of Seoul asking for donations. The clothes I wore were ragged and the extended hand was covered in wrinkles, my skin sagging and jiggling whenever I moved it. No. That was our only form of income. Who had the heart to burn our farm? Our life savings sent up into flames? How were we going to survive?

“Chanhi, we’ll get through his.” Mom tried. “We will, honey.”

“No mom. No mom. They didn’t burn our farm.” I said and stood up, turned and slipped through the front door. I needed fresh air. I needed time to organize thoughts. Everything was wrong and out of place. We didn’t move to Seoul Leigh Heights to be entrapped in a whirlpool of problems. No, we moved in hope for bettering our lives, not destroying them. With the cool air in my hair and my hands in the pockets of my warm jeans, I made my way down the dark street. No one was out. Good, I’d have time to ascertain where I was and what was really happening around because at that point I couldn’t process it all at once.

I flipped my head up to the black sky and saw the twinkling stars. “God, please help us.” Then I felt a weird stinging sensation in my eyes preceding my feverish blinking. “No! “I won’t cry!”   I said to myself for reassurance. “I won’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hello?”

“Oh, it’s you, Chanhi.”

“Yoseob?” I thought my ears were failing me again. He made long strides as he approached me. His hair was combed back and he was wearing a full black jumpsuit that gave him a bad boy look appearance. Too much black wasn’t good. Good for me, that is. It made it even harder for me to see and I swore that I would never wear spectacles after my last incident.

“Hi, it’s been a while since we first met. How are you?” He asked.

“I’ve been better.” That was a subtle and vague way to put it.

“Well, I’m really happy!” He beamed, revealing the nicely aligned teeth embedded in his rosy pick gums.

I sighed and kicked a pebble that was next to my shoe. It skittered off to a soft distance and stopped and just laid there like it was before I applied the force.

“Why is that?” I asked, remembering the conversation we were having.

“Why is what?”

“Why are you happy?”

He smiled grew wider. “Because I get to see you tonight.”

**********************************************************************

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