“Alright guys, we’re good for now. If you haven’t gotten your workout in today, Hwang should be waiting for you. Go on and head up.” Shawn said as we finished up with another rehearsal. We had just finished practicing Daesung’s Wings.

“I’ll go up with you again. I could go for another workout.” I told my brother as we walked over to our duffle bags. I had already worked out during our lunch hour while Vincent had taken an actual lunch.

Vincent winced. “He’s been making me do crazy stuff… yesterday he had me do crunches while hanging upside-down on the chin up bar.”

Before I could respond, Shawn said my name. “Nat, would you mind sticking around? I’d like to talk you.”

I froze from putting on my black flowy tank top over my head. “Y-yeah. Of course.” What did he need me for? Was I doing okay? I looked at my brother. “I’ll meet you up there I guess.”

Vincent nodded, looked at Shawn, and then looked back at me. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he just wants to discuss how often you’re in the concert or something.” He cleared his throat and put his wavy hair in a man-bun. “You’ll be fine.”

I nervously walked over to Shawn, who had been talking with BIGBANG. I averted my eyes from TOP. For some reason, I really could never look at him, which wasn’t good because I was his partner in most the songs he needed a partner.

Shawn said something to them in Korean that I didn’t understand.

Seungri was the first to notice me. He smiled brightly. “Nice job today, Natalia. You are going to make my solo great.” I was Seungri’s partner during his Gotta Talk to You solo.

I smiled and tucked a wavy piece of hair behind my ear. “Thanks. I’m getting a hang of it.”

Shawn looked at BIGBANG. “Thanks again, guys. You’re staying here, right?”

G-Dragon nodded. “We still don’t have the set list. We have to get it done.”

Shawn nodded. “If I need you back down here, I’ll give you a call, okay? But I think we should be good with just Youngbae.”

With that, all of BIGBANG left except for Taeyang. Why was he staying down here?

Shawn turned his attention to me. “How ya doing, Nat?”

I was confused by his question. “Um, I’m good. Was just going to go do another workout with Vinny. What’s up?” Was I in trouble or something?

Shawn chuckled. He must have noticed the concerned look on my face. “Okay, first of all, you aren’t in trouble or anything. If anything, I need to tell you what a good job you’re doing. You and your brother are the first people here and the last ones to go. I can tell you’re really putting your all into this crew and I really appreciate it. No, I just wanted to talk to you for a little bit. There’s been something me and the guys have been noticing.”

I was completely lost. “Oh, okay. Is it something I need to work on? Because I can stay late tonight.”

“It’s not something you can work on by yourself. Natalia, you’re a great dancer. Your moves are crisp. You can shake your hips in ways some of the dancers wish they could. Your focus and determination is phenomenal.” Shawn nodded to Taeyang. “We’ve just been noticing one thing. And it may just be because of a lack of experience. It’s your chemistry.”

I bit my lip. “My chemistry? With who? Seungri? I’ve been trying to get more connected to him. I really have. It’s just hard when we’re both looking in the mirror to focus on our moves.”

Taeyang actually spoke this time. “It’s with Top.”

My heart sank. Did my chemistry with him? I had a hard enough time reading him; TOP was always so focused on practicing he barely ever cracked jokes, which was weird because the TOP I knew from being a fan was so silly and carefree. On top of that, his English wasn’t as good as, say, G-Dragon or Taeyang. It was hard to communicate with him.

“Is everything okay, Nat? I mean, are not comfortable being his partner or something? You don’t look him in the eye or touch him like you do with Seungri. We think you two look great together. And I don’t want you just stuck with Seungri the whole time. I thought it’d be fun putting you with Top. What issues do you think there are?”

Well this . There was no doubt that I was embarrassed by what not only Shawn, but Taeyang had noticed. I gulped. “No, it’s not that I’m not comfortable. It’s just… I…. He’s intimidating.” I couldn’t help it. I looked at Taeyang. “You all are. I’m sorry, but have you seen yourselves? God, six months ago my brother and I were in our basement doing dance covers of your songs and now we’re here. It’s a culture shock.”

Taeyang laughed. “It’s okay. I saw that you guys have done a lot of our songs on YouTube. Were you and your brother fans?”

I sighed. “You could say that.” I muttered. No need to mention that TOP was my ultimate bias and in the past I would have done anything to touch that perfection of a man.

Shawn nodded. “Okay, okay. Not a big deal. You just need to get more comfortable with them, that’s all. You aren’t a fan anymore, Natalia. You’re a member of their dancer crew. So, as your choreographer, it’s my job to help you. And, with the gracious volunteering of Taeyang, here, I think we’re going to get rid of your nerves fast.”

I nodded. “I’m up for anything, really. What is it?”

Shawn smiled and leaned back against the mirrors. “Well, as you probably know, Taeyang here knows a thing or two about chemistry. He’s easily one of the most sensual dancers I’ve ever met. So we’re going to have a little one-on-one practice with him. He isn’t going to be your partner in the concert, but I figured his help will get you used to dancing with a BIGBANG member at least, and help you improve the little things that we look for in chemistry. Because, Nat, you and Top have it. I know you do. It’s just like it’s boxed up. I need to unleash it.”

TOP and I had chemistry? Shawn could tell we had chemistry? “Okay, yeah, totally. What do we need to do?”

Taeyang fixed the flat bill hat on his head. “How big of a fan are you? Like, what years have you seen our performances?”

I felt color rise to my face. “Well… really anything since you guys have debuted.”

Taeyang nodded. “Have you seen my first solo concert?”

I couldn’t help but nod immediately. That concert had been rated because of how hot the dances were.

Taeyang smiled. “That concert really helped me become the dancer I am. I think it will help you too. I thought we could practice some of the songs to work on your chemistry. Do you know the choreography?”

I nodded again. “Y-yeah. I mean, I never had anyone to practice with because Vincent is my brother and all but I know the basics.”

“Great.” Taeyang nodded. “One of the songs I think that will really help is Sinner. I want us to practice for a while. This is just for you to get comfortable. So let’s have fun. “

I could feel the color rise to my cheeks. Sinner? That song was one of the more provocative performances. “Oh, um… okay. Th-that should be fun. Yeah. When do we start?”

Shawn looked over at the clock. “I’ll give you about… an hour to prepare? Just to get the basic steps down. That and I have to go find a prop table and chairs.”

Taeyang nodded. “I need to go help the guys for a little bit at least. So, Natalia, I’ll let you prepare, too. I will be back down in one hour and we will practice.”

Once the room was cleared, I sat down on the ground and pulled out my phone. I went on YouTube and found the performance for Sinner.

How was I supposed to do this?

The dancer was so calm and confident. I had confidence, but I definitely wasn’t as confident as she portrayed. Not only that, but how was practicing with Taeyang supposed to boost my chemistry with TOP?

After watching the video a few times, I stood to practice. For the sitting parts, I just improvised and sat on the floor. It was hard enough practicing without a partner to focus on.

I threw my tank top off after a few run-throughs so I was just in my sports bra and yoga shorts. I wanted to get a better look at my hips and waist as I moved.

Soon after, Shawn and Taeyang walked back in with a table and chairs. “Ready?” Shawn asked.

I turned off the music and nodded. “I hope so.”

Shawn laughed. “Relax, Natalia. You aren’t being graded or anything. This is just to get you comfortable.”

All I could do was nod. I watched Taeyang as he set up the chairs. “I think this should be good.” He looked at me. “Just remember, Natalia, you face is just as important as your body when dancing. I had troubles with my face when I started in BIGBANG. It isn’t just acting. For me, I put all of my emotions into my dancing.” He looked at Shawn. “Let’s start.”

I walked over to my position and sat down on one of the chairs. My heart was racing, and I was sure my skin and face were bright red.

Taeyang got into position, too, and music started. I leaned back in my chair and tried my best to look pissed off. Taeyang walked over and tried to get me to look at him by putting his hand under my chin, so I glared at him and pushed him away. He walked to the other side of the table, and I turned away from him and pushed back my hair. I turned back to the table.

Go big or go home, right? In moments like these, I guessed it would be better to be overdramatic than to not show any emotion.

So, I kept my glare on Taeyang as we locked eyes. We both reached forward, and when he tried to grab my hand, I took his hand off of mine. And repeat.

Throughout the song, I decided to keep my eyes on Taeyang. I was picturing that we were in some kind of fight, but at the same time all we wanted to do was rip our clothes off of each other.

I sat on the table, and Taeyang held my head as I leaned back against it. I put my legs in the air, and felt him come in between my legs and push them apart. I couldn’t help but gasp because when I sat up, instead of facing away from me, he was facing me. Also, me sitting up caused me to be really close to his face. So close, I could see the sweat already dripping down his face, and the furrow in his brow from the intensity of the performance.

If he changed the choreography, maybe I could, too.

So, I wrapped one arm around him like I was supposed to, and with my other hand, I threw his hat off of him. With the arm around him, I moved my hand up to the back of his limp blonde mowhawk and pulled him closer to me so our foreheads were touching.

What had gotten into me?

Taeyang went along with it, and then pulled away dramatically. He walked to his next position and I slid off the table.

Maybe this was going better than I thought.

At the last chorus, I hurried over to him, and we danced in sync. I kept his stare when I could, which was easier than I feared it was going to be; our height difference wasn’t as much as I thought it would be.

We locked arms, and I slid down so I was crouching on the ground. He got down to my level, and we came back up, our foreheads pressed against each other again. I grabbed the front of his shirt and he pulled away.

RIPPPPPP

Oh no.

“I’m so sorry.” I immediately told Taeyang, covering my mouth as I looked at his ripped shirt. When he pulled away, I still had a hold on it, so from the collar down to his chest had ripped.

Shawn shut off the music, and Taeyang looked down at the damage. Was he mad? Was the shirt expensive?

To my surprise, Taeyang and Shawn both started laughing.

“Damn, Nat!” Shawn cackled, clapping his hands. “That’s a grip right there!”

“I am so sorry, Taeyang. I can pay for the shirt. I-“ I stammered.

Taeyang shook his head, stopping me. “It’s okay Natalia. It is just a shirt.” He simply pulled his shirt over his head and threw it to the side.

God, his body was so much better in person, if that were possible.

“So how did I do?” I looked at Shawn and put my hands on my hips.

“For your first run, good. Better than I thought you would, actually. From what I saw I still think you need to work on the fluidity of your movements with your partner. It wasn’t like you and Taeyang were performing a duet. It was like you were focusing on what you were doing more than focusing on what you both needed to do together. I do like how you guys changed it up a little bit.” Shawn looked at Taeyang. “What do you think?”

“I think your face was good. You were acting with the song. I also liked that you went along with my changes to the dance. I did it to test you because I thought you could freeze up. I agree with what hyung says. You need to focus on the dance we perform, not just what you perform. I think you need to learn to lose yourself in the song. Let the song come through you.”

I nodded. I can understand where they were coming from with their opinions. I was more focused on what I was doing than what Taeyang was doing with me.

Shawn clapped his hands together. “Okay. Let’s try it again. After that, let’s do some freestyling to really loosen you up, Natalia. I think we’ll get you out of your shell better yet.”

---

“There we go! That’s what I wanted!” Shawn clapped his hands as we finished a freestyle performance to My Girl. We had been at this for a few hours now, and Taeyang and I were both glistening with sweat.

Taeyang laughed as I parted from him and collapsed on the ground on my back, my chest rising and falling quickly. “Well thank the lord!” I put my hands up and shook them.

“Now hopefully you can bring that to practice with TOP.” Taeyang told me. He let out a groan as he sat down next to me.

“He doesn’t exactly seem like the type to welcome everything we just did.” I pointed out. We had just done a whole bunch of up-close-and-personal, in-your-face, y grinding and dancing.

“He isn’t our best dancer.” Taeyang nodded. “He focuses on himself a lot, like what you did at the beginning.”

“I know.” I admitted. I sat up. “Big fan before I started all this, remember?”

Taeyang chuckled and nodded. “Yeah.” He checked his phone before looking at me. “How do you think practices are going?”

“As a whole?” I asked the dancer. He nodded. I cleared my throat and shrugged. “They’re alright… Can I be honest with you?”

“Please.” Taeyang nodded.

I sighed. “You guys seem tense. Especially G-Dragon. And he’s constantly changing what we do with choreography. You guys all look tired.”

Taeyang nodded again. “We are tired. We cannot figure out a proper set list for the tour and it is hard translating the songs to have them sound right and have the right meaning.” He groaned and laid back on the floor and covered his face. “We start to let our frustrations out on each other.” He cleared his throat and sat back up. “We don’t know what to do.”

I nodded. I really wanted to tell him that, as fans, a lot of really didn’t even care if they sung in English. We had loved them before they came over here for an American tour. “C-can I say something else? Just from a fan’s point of view?”

Taeyang chuckled. “Advice?”

I felt color rise to my cheeks before I cleared my throat. “I know I’m just a fan and I’m new to this whole thing, but… this should be fun for you guys. A majority of the fans that will be at these concerts have loved you for years. Before you started trying to focus in on America. I know, in my opinion, I could care less what language you sing in. Music doesn’t have a language. You guys know that.”

Taeyang smiled. “Yeah, I understand. I think Jiyong- G-Dragon- just wants to ensure we are a hit in America. Most Asian bands don’t do as well over here as what we want to do.” He smiled at me. I loved how his eyes turned into crescents when he smiled. “You are really cool, Natalia. You aren’t afraid to talk to me like a lot of fans are.”

I felt the color rise to my face yet again. I smiled. “I just want to see you guys do phenomenal here in America. So, I guess my other question is: is the reason you aren’t doing any of your MADE songs because you are having a hard time translating them?”

Taeyang nodded. “Yes. We aren’t focusing on those right now because of that reason.”

“Well, I can tell you, as a fan, I loved Bang Bang Bang and If You, and I would love to see them live, English or Korean.”

Taeyang thought for a moment, then nodded. “Can I ask you to do something?”

I was surprised by the question, but I nodded. “Of course. Anything. What can I do?”

“I want you to put together videos of what you think our set list should look like. Find our performances that were your favorites.”

I looked at the dancer, confused. “Like a YouTube playlist?”

Taeyang smiled brightly and nodded. “Yes! I want to see a fan’s point of view of what they like in our concerts. Do you think you could have it done in the next few hours?”

I looked at the time on the clock. It was already nine at night. I was usually home and in bed by now. I looked back at Taeyang. “Y-yeah. Of course. I’ll work on it right away.”

Taeyang nodded and stood. “Great. I’m going up to the recording room. It’s on the sixth level. Room four. Come on up when you have the list done. I think we are ordering pizza for tonight, too.”

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A/N: Hi, all! I haven't done an Author's Note yet so I thought I'd just drop in! I hope everyone is doing well, I thank you all that have beem patient with me through the years and decided to go on this new journey with me. A lot has happened since I stopped writing and started back up, but I won't go into too many details. What I will say, though, is that I graduate nursing school in one month which is a HUGE relief, and I have had the best support to continue with my writing, one of my biggest supporters being my boyfriend of two and a half years. He loves that I write and even likes BIGBANG (we rock out to BIGBANG in his truck. He's a G-Dragon fan). Thank you all for being patient with me in posting. I'm trying to post once a week but it gets difficult due to school, work, personal issues, health problems. Writing is my sanctuary and I am so happy to be back.

Like I've done in the past, here's the performance of Sinner I was describing in this chapter:

Also, I love seeing your guys' comments. I know there hasn't been much going on in the story yet, but just wait. It will be picking up. I hope you all enjoy the changes I've made so far to the usual story line I do. I love hearing from you guys!

Love you all~

YGFanGirl21