I adjusted my tie in front of the mirror and checked myself for the nth time making sure I look well-groomed and presentable. Brushed-up hair, crisp white polo shirt, nicely pressed coat with a matching pair of pants and newly polished pair of oxford shoes.

 

I stared at myself..

 

These. All these still feels weird. What I'm wearing and who I am or who I'm trying to be still feels foreign. Though it's been years since I've been this way...

 

I shake my head off the thoughts that's been clouding my mind.

 

One thing I'm sure of; it's all because of her.

 

Time to go to the party.

 

 

 

I walk inside the ballroom where the rich and the famous are. My family owns an entertainment company and tonight were celebrating the birthday of our C.E.O and I call him, dad.

 

First step and a lot of people already greeted me. I make sure to give them my warmest smile to acknowledge them.

 

"Miss goody two shoes' has arrived." I heard my, oh so beloved brother, from behind.

 

I turned around only to see him with the most beautiful girl I know. His hand on her waist, I frowned a little but quickly flashed them a smile.

 

"H-hey Donghae-hyung.. Krystal." I said to them.

 

Yes, I'm in love with my brother's girlfriend.. Their relationship was very unexpected, to be honest. I had feeling that my brother was somehow gay.. I guess he’s just.. flamboyant?

 

I hug my brother and I bowed to Krystal.

 

"I hope your partner doesn't bore you out." I joked to Krystal and she just gave me shy smile almost a forced one. My brother laughed.

 

"Hey, Amber!" It was Min and Ailee. They greeted me and they both gave me a bear hug.

 

"Nice seeing you here guys. Have fun! Drinks at the bar." I told them.

 

"We'll sure have." Ailee said.

 

"Catch you later, Amber." Min said.

 

I was about to talk to my brother when a couple more people greeted me.

 

"Ms. Congeniality, I see." My brother teased.

 

"I was just being nice." I said to him.

 

"Too nice." Krystal said quickly but I heard it.

 

"What?" My brother asked Krystal.

 

"What? I didn't say anything." She said innocently and blushed.

 

"Oh, you're really cute." My brother said affectionately.

 

Before I excused myself to spare my eyes from my brother's mushiness, Eric approached me with Suzy.

 

"Hey, Amber! Suzy just got here. You'll show her around, yeah? Good." He said even without me answering and just left so I don't have any choice.

 

I know he's only trying to set us up.

 

Having no other choice, I just put on my best smile, politeness and kindness is the least I could give her.

 

"See you later, bro, Krys. I'll just show Suzy around." I excused Suzy and I from them.

 

"Have fun, the both of you." My brother teased.

 

I look at Krystal before leaving them. Did she just rolled her eyes on me?

 

 

 

"Hey, how are you, Suzy?" I ask.

 

"I'm fine. You look good tonight. Prim and proper as always." She said.

 

"Thank you. You look good tonight too." I said with a smile.

 

"Wanna grab some drinks?" I ask.

 

"Sure."

 

We made our way to the bar and her slight advances weren't left unnoticed by me. I just acted indifferent.

 

“How’ve you been, Amber?” Suzy asks as we leaned our bodies to the bar. She moved a little closer.

 

“Been good.” I said shortly. “You?”

 

“Same old, same old.” She said, eyeing me. “You know, Amber. You’ve really changed. Not that I don’t like your look now but sometimes I’m missing the old you.” Suzy stated.

 

“The old me?” I laughed a little. “The rude teenager who always looks for trouble. No one liked that old me.” I said reminiscing my own self.

 

“Krystal did.” She said. “I mean, you were inseparable before.”

 

“No, she didn’t.” I said sounding a little defensive. If she did, then she wouldn’t be with my brother right now.

 

“Oh yes, she did. She would always defend you from everyone, remember? She would even pick up a fight with our teachers to clear your name.” she smiled.

 

“Oh look, the program’s about to start.” I said pointing to the stage.

 

Saved.

 

 

Suzy went to her table with her friends to enjoy the show.

 

I, on the other hand went to the balcony alone that overlooks the hall where the party was to watch my own show. Krystal.

 

I watch her as she bops her head with the beat of the songs. She laughs occasionally and effortlessly look beautiful.

 

After the program, the dance floor opened for the real party. Drinks flowed down everyone’s throat and the night lives on.

 

I watch everyone enjoy themselves. Without my own accord my eyes immediately found her.

 

She was dancing with Luna and Victoria with drinks in their hands. I smiled just by looking at her. Where did my brother go, anyway? Isn’t he supposed to be with his girlfriend??

 

And speaking of the devil, my phone ringed. My brother’s calling me.

 

“Hey.” I said.

 

“Amber. Can you watch over Krystal? She might have drunk a little bit too much now. I brought Eunhyuk home, he’s drunk too. Thanks. Bye.” He said and ended the call.

 

What the?? She left his girlfriend for his best friend?? He’s a very loyal best friend I guess???

 

Too much for avoiding her.

 

I went down and went to her. They were dancing and her body’s a bit wobbly. She was about to fall but I rushed to her.

 

“Gotcha.” I said as I held her elbows from behind trying to steady her footing.

 

She turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck and my hands automatically went to her waist. She’s touchy when she’s tipsy.

 

This feel so right.

 

“You’re finally here.” She said and giggled. Krystal’s tipsy alright. “Let’s dance.”

 

I let her drag me anywhere and we danced. She’s not gonna remember any of this when she wakes up anyway.

 

As the time pass her alcohol intake increased. She’s about to drink her nth drink.

 

“I think that’s enough.” I told her and grab the drink from her. “Come on let’s get you home.” She pouted. Cute.

 

I grab her hand to go but she held my hand firmer stopping me in my tracks. The song changed in to a slow one.

 

“Let’s dance to this beat.” She looked into my eyes and just like I’m being hypnotized I nodded mindlessly.

 

We stared at each other. She grab both of my hands and placed it at the bottom of her back. Slowly, she leaned her head on my shoulder facing my neck. Her arms around me.

 

So close.

 

Yet so far away.

 

 

Our bodies swayed with gentle beat of the drums.

 

“This feels nice.” She said, her hot breath hitting my neck. She’s sobered up a bit.

“You look beautiful by the way.” I said.

 

“Thank you. You look nice too.” She said.

 

“Gone were the days of oversized hoodies, snapbacks and baggy shorts.” She said. I giggled.

 

“No one wants that kind of, Amber.” I said.

 

“Maybe someone does.” She said.

 

“No one wants someone rude.” I said.

 

“Attitude wise, yes” Krystal said. “But people secretly loves rude love.” She continued.

 

“Your drunk, Krystal. Let’s get you home now.” I said and separated our bodies a bit.

 

She didn’t answer but she grab my arm and draped it around her shoulders and hugged me from the side as we make our way pass the crowd and in to my car.

 

Why are you doing this???

 

 

She slept the whole way home.

 

I turn off the engine and woke her up.

 

I help her down my car. She leaned her body to mine, she might be feeling a headache.

 

 

 

We reached her unit and I stood outside her door as she goes in.

 

She realized that I wasn’t following her so she turned around.

 

“Aren’t you coming in?” She asks. I want to but my brother…

 

“It’s late, Krys. You should rest, and I should go.” I said.

 

“Stay.” She said, her eyes tell me sincerely.

 

“Krys, I don’t think it’s right-“

 

“Don’t try to be nice, Amber.” She said sharply.

 

“What do you want me to be, them?” I tried to ask calmly.

 

“I want the old you. Just like before.” She said

“I told you, Krys. No one wanted that.” I tried to keep calm.

 

“Maybe, I want it.” She said.

 

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Krystal. You’re drunk, you need to rest.”

 

“I’m not drunk anymore, Amber! Why can’t you be like the way you were before???” She raised her voice.

 

“I told you NO ONE WANTED THAT.” I half shouted. Something triggered in me.

 

“But I WANT IT! I WANT YOU!” She cried.

 

“Then, why are you with him?????” I ask. Finally, after all this time.

 

“What?” She was taken aback.

 

“Why are you with my brother?? Did you know why I became like this???” I ask her. “I am what I am now because of you, Krystal.” I confessed.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Everyone wanted to be with him. The good one; the nice one. Eventually you two dated. So I said to myself, if I became like him maybe, just maybe, you would like me too.” I said breathlessly.

 

I realized the gravity of the things that I said. I confessed unknowingly..

 

“F-forget what I said. I should go.” I said, trying to leave as fast as I could.

 

“I liked you even before..” She said quite silently but I still heard it.

 

“W-what??” I asked so confused.

 

“I like you, okay?!” she said.

 

“W-hat, then why? Why my brother??” I asked.

 

“I had to. I had to date him.” She said.

 

“What are you talking about??”

 

“My parents, they found out that I like you. They thought that I was just undergoing a phase. They had this crazy plan that I should date a guy and maybe I would realize that I was actually in to men and I was just confused.” She confessed.

 

“Then why my brother??”

 

“He volunteered. I told him the agreement because I couldn’t tell it to you. Plus, your brother’s gay, making him the best option.” She said.

 

“So, will you please stay with me??” she asks, her eyes shined.

 

I nodded.

 

 

 

We’re in her terrace, overlooking the night life of Seoul city. I was hugging her back, a blanket wrapped around our bodies.

 

“Why did you only tell me now?” I asked.

 

“Spur of the moment I guess. I planned to tell it you after the end of the agreement.”

 

“When does it end anyway?”

 

She looked at her wrist watch, the clock’s about to strike 12.

 

“In 3.. 2.. 1... it has now officially ended.” She said smiling.

 

 

She turned around leaned her back on the railing and grab my collar. In a flash, she pulled me closer as ever, and the next thing I knew her soft lips were on mine.

 

I didn’t have time to react but I quickly kissed her back..

 

I gently nip on her lower lip for entrance which she gladly agreed.

 

I held her gently, afraid that if I held her tighter she would disappear.

 

If this was a dream, I hope to never ever wake up, this feels too good to be true.

 

 

“Tell me I’m not dreaming.” I said when we separated our swollen lips.

 

“You’re not.” She said and bit my lower lip.

 

“Amber..” Krystal said.

 

“Hmm?” I ask.

 

“I like your gentleness and all. But I miss the old you.” She said.

 

“You miss the old me who breaks the school rules?” I teased.

 

“Yes.” She smiled.

 

“The one who doesn’t give a about what other people say?”

 

“Yes.” She said.

 

“I want your rude love tonight, Amber.” She said, her eyes burning with passion.