The first thing Jaemin thinks when he sees Donghyuck is that he looks suspiciously cute for what is not supposed to be a date. His outwear isn't anything unusual, a plain jacket and a red scarf and matching red mittens. Yet he looks unusually adorable. Jaemin isn't sure what the reason is. Maybe it's because his cheeks are ruddy from cold. Maybe it's that red goes well with his complexion. He remembers Donghyuck's mom joking that even in winter he looks like he's just spend a week on a sunny beach. It's true, and Jaemin suddenly finds himself thinking Donghyuck's skin is very pretty. Maybe it just matches the twinkling gold lights hanged all around the shopping center. Maybe—

Maybe he needs to stop being ridiculous.

"Hi!" he gives a wave, approaching Donghyuck. Donghyuck looks up from his phone and beams at him.

"Thank God. I need to drink something, my throat feels as dry as an elephant's ."

Jaemin snorts. He might look cute but he's still Donghyuck. "We can get some hot chocolate before we go on the rink?"

"Sounds good." Donghyuck tilts his head, looking Jaemin up and down. "By the way, you look nice, Nana."

Jaemin freezes, surprised by the compliment. He and Donghyuck just don't say things like that to each other. They usually go for fond nicknames, like dickhead or . They have that kind of a relationship— not a cute besties forever friendship like Jaemin and Jeno, or a comfortable I'll always have your back bro relationship like Donghyuck and Mark. It's just… that kind of a relationship where they keep insulting each other and half the time Jaemin isn't sure if he actually likes Donghyuck or they just happen to have common friends.

Well, but if he didn’t like him he wouldn’t meet up with him today.

"Don't I always?" he responds with a smile. He mostly says that because he wasn't supposed to try to look better than usual— after all, they have established that this is absolutely not a date. I'd rather get run over by a truck than date you, were the exact words Donghyuck used. If Jaemin did attempt to look good it was only for his own comfort, nothing else.

But now Donghyuck is frowning, as if disapproving of his reply, and maybe it's what makes Jaemin continue, "You look very cute too."

Cute. He just had to use that particular word, didn't he? He fully expects Donghyuck to but instead he just smiles.

"I tried my best for you." Jaemin stares. What? Oh, right— Donghyuck must be joking, as usual. Jaemin has no time to properly analyze the situation because Donghyuck grabs his arm and pulls him towards one of the cafes. "Let's go get that hot chocolate!"

***

After they take off their jackets, Jaemin finds out that Donghyuck is wearing a fluffy white sweater underneath. The sweater makes him look very soft— very undonghyucklike, that is. And it contrasts with his skin— in the warm, flickering light of the cinnamon and spice scented candle sitting on the table, he looks like he's glowing. Jaemin is a little distressed.

It must be the atmosphere. It's Christmas Eve, a day you're supposed to spend with a lover. It just so happens that both Jaemin and Donghyuck are single. Also, Jeno is spending the night with his girlfriend and Mark left to visit his parents in Canada, as his family celebrates Christmas the western way. Jaemin and Donghyuck didn't to stay at home like total losers so they made plans to go ice skating together. In a completely platonic way.

Maybe it was a bad idea after all. Jeno kept lightheartedly teasing Jaemin, telling him to have fun on his absolutely-not-a-date. Jaemin thought he was just being annoying but now that he thinks, Jeno acted like he knew something Jaemin didn't. What though? Did he somehow predict that Jaemin would have weird thoughts about Donghyuck?

"I love Christmas," Donghyuck declares, his eyes wandering over the Christmas decorations the coffee shop has put up. They really are nice— a small tree, a few wreaths adorned with red ribbons and gold bells, yellow and red lights. Simple but pretty. "It just has that. Dunno. Nostalgic feeling to it?"

"Technically, the fact that we celebrate it in any way is only a result of globalization," Jaemin says, because he's heard that from his father countless times. His parents are Buddhist and they don't celebrate Christmas at all. Donghyuck rolls his eyes at him and he opens his mouth, probably to call him a killjoy or something like that, so Jaemin interrupts him with a smile. "I like it too, though. The idea behind it is nice."

"Too bad I'm away from home." Donghyuck sighs. "My parents usually bought us all gifts. And we'd eat a Christmas cake…"

"Ah, so you're not happy to be here with me?" Jaemin mock pouts at him.

Donghyuck's eyes grow round. "Hey, I never said that."

"No need to pretend. We both know we were each other's last resort." He's only joking and he fully expects Donghyuck to laugh and agree with him, but to his surprise, Donghyuck's face falls. Jaemin immediately feels guilty. He didn't mean it at all, but he's not sure how to take back his words, and before he can think of anything, their drinks arrive.

"Right." Donghyuck grins at Jaemin, his eyes twinkling. "The company might but I hope the chocolate is good, at least."

Jaemin exhales in relief; at least the tense atmosphere is gone. The conversation goes smoothly afterwards; they mostly talk about their classes and share gossip about their classmates. The chocolate really is delicious and Jaemin realizes he's having a good time— although it still feels like a date, and he finds himself thinking that it's strange he's only noticing now just how cute Donghyuck looks when he laughs.

***

"Well, me sideways," Donghyuck says, staring at the ice rink with a frown on his face. It's awfully crowded, filled with couples slowly gliding in the same wide circle.

"We should have known it would be like this." Jaemin sighs. "I mean, it's Christmas Eve."

"Yes, but still…" Donghyuck glares at a couple in matching jackets that slides by the entrance. "Don't they have anything better to do? Like, go home and make out or something? If I were dating someone I'd surely find a million more entertaining things to do than ice skating."

"We can still try," Jaemin says, ignoring the sudden vision of making out with Donghyuck that his brain helpfully presents him. "Though it'd totally look like we're… you know."

Donghyuck gives him a quick glance then he looks away, expression sour. "It won't be any fun if we can't even race each other and ."

"Then what do we do?" Jaemin doesn't want to the dorm yet. It'd be sad and boring to spend the evening alone. Normally Jaemin doesn't mind staying at home at all but tonight… maybe he just wants to spend a little more time with Donghyuck.

"Maybe… let's go to the cinema? It'll be probably crowded too but..." Donghyuck shrugs, expression troubled.

"It won't hurt to try." Jaemin gives him a reassuring smile. "If not we can just go to KFC or something."

Donghyuck perks up at that. "Sounds like a plan."

***

In the end they manage to get into a movie thanks to someone cancelling their reservations last minute. The movie itself is awful — a Christmas themed romantic comedy— but Donghyuck seems to be enjoying himself and Jaemin is more than okay with munching on his nachos and listening to the sound of Donghyuck's laughter. He thinks it'd be more fun if they were watching it alone at home so they could exchange sarcastic comments— Jaemin has too much of those on his mind— but this is nice enough.

Except his heart almost jumps out of his chest when during a romantic scene he feels Donghyuck's hand brush against his. It turns out Donghyuck is only reaching for more nachos. How could Jaemin even for a second think that Donghyuck would be the type to hold someone's hand while watching a romance movie? It must be because they're surrounded by couples— he's letting the romantic atmosphere get to his head. This needs to stop, he thinks resolutely.

But it doesn't stop.

"That movie was stupid," Donghyuck comments as soon as they leave the cinema. Despite his words, he looks happy, his eyes are shining and his cheeks are flushed and— wow, Jaemin, dude. Stop. "But it was pretty funny," Donghyuck continues. "Christmas in the USA really looks fun. I kind of envy Mark."

"Mark is in Canada."

"Details," Donghyuck replies dismissively. They stop next to a small fountain, and Donghyuck looks at him questioningly. "What now?"

Jaemin catches himself thinking that Donghyuck looks pretty— and woah, that's a new one. Jaemin can objectively admit Jeno is really good looking but in general he doesn't see his friends that way. Donghyuck isn't pretty or cute or anything like that. Donghyuck is that loud and funny friend who's sometimes really annoying but you like him anyway. He's his favorite combo he always orders in KFC, the weird face he makes when he laughs really hard, the worn out Mickey Mouse hoodie he wears around his apartment. He's his messy handwriting when Jaemin sometimes copies his notes, he's the scent of his favorite coconut and papaya body wash, and the flavor of vanilla soy milk because he can't drink cow milk. He's all those things Jaemin associates with him, but he's not pretty. Or well, he's never been until now and he isn't supposed to be but Jaemin is still staring at his lips— have they always been this plump? —instead of listening to what he's saying.

"Nana, are you listening?"

"Well, uh…" Jaemin smiles and shrugs. Donghyuck gives him an unimpressed look.

"I was just saying that I need to go to the toilet first. I'm about to piss my pants."

Jaemin snorts. "Well then… I'll wait here?"

"Cool. I'll be right back."

Jaemin nods and fishes his phone out of his pocket only to find out the battery's dead. Great, he thinks. Well, he can spend the time clearing his head and remembering all the times Donghyuck said or did something gross. Funny, but still gross. Not cute, because Donghyuck is not cute. Or pretty. And this is not a date.

Suddenly Jaemin remembers the sad glint in Donghyuck's eyes when Jaemin said they were each other's last resort. He still feels bad about not clearing that up. And then he remembers Donghyuck talking about presents and an idea pops up in his head— he knows what he needs to do.

***

When he hurries back to the fountain, Donghyuck is already there. He's clutching his phone in his hand, his face contorted in a worried frown. When he spots Jaemin, he visibly relaxes, but the frown doesn't fully go away.

"You were supposed to wait here!" he says accusingly. "I thought you ditched me or something. I know the movie was crap and you'd probably rather be here with someone else—"

"You know I was joking when I said that, right?" Jaemin interrupts.

Donghyuck is silent for a moment as he studies Jaemin's face. "You were…?" His voice sounds soft, unsure. Jaemin doesn't understand that reaction, he was sure they both knew their mean comments were just jokes. He's always liked Donghyuck a lot. Only as a friend, of course. Except Donghyuck looks so confused and vulnerable now, Jaemin has the urge to hug him tight and squeeze all his doubts out of him.

"Of course I was. Anyway…" Jaemin clears his throat and pushes the plushie he's just bought into Donghyuck's hands. "For you. Merry Christmas. I know it's a lame gift and I didn't even have time to wrap it—"

"It's a Nick plushie," Donghyuck says, looking at the plush fox fondly. "And he has a Santa hat! It's super cute, where did you find it?"

Donghyuck sounds genuinely happy with the gift and Jaemin has to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing. Donghyuck is really too easily amused sometimes. Or maybe he's only pretending for Jaemin's sake— but whichever it is, it only makes Donghyuck seem ever cuter in his eyes.

"I didn't get you anything," Donghyuck says, brows furrowing as he gives Jaemin an apologetic look.

"Oh, no— you don't have to. I mean, you paid for the movie tickets and the nachos."

Donghyuck blinks at him, tilting his head. "That movie was a ty gift though," he says, tone gravely serious.

"Well." Jaemin grins. "But the nachos were okay?"

Donghyuck chuckles at that. He's still holding the plushie in his hands and he's smiling, his eyes warm as he looks at Jaemin. He's really, really pretty and Jaemin can't believe he's only noticed that today.

They're surrounded by couples and magical, sparkling lights, sweet scents, and cute Christmas songs with romantic lyrics and maybe it's affecting his perception of reality but he can't bring himself to care right now, he just wants to—

"You know," Donghyuck says softly, lowering his eyes to the ground. "The truth is… I— I kind of, uh." Jaemin waits, his heart pounding in his chest. He doesn't think he's ever seen Donghyuck this nervous— he his lips, his face flushed. He's squeezing the Nick plushie really hard now. "I kind of wanted this to be a date. I just— you're really good-looking and popular and I know you don't like me that way, to be honest sometimes I'm not even sure if you like me in any way at all but I’ve liked you for a while and—"

At that exact moment, Jaemin decides he can't stop himself any longer. He cups Donghyuck's cheeks, leans in and kisses him. It's brief, just a brush of lips— they're still in public after all— but it still feels nice. Donghyuck's lips are warm and soft and when Jaemin pulls back he already misses the feeling.

"I kind of felt like doing this all day," he whispers. It’s embarrassing; he feels his cheeks grow warm. Donghyuck is gaping at him in disbelief and Jaemin wants to laugh at him but he also really wants to kiss him again.

"Okay," Donghyuck says finally. "I wasn't expecting that reaction." He beams at Jaemin, his eyes turning into crescents. He looks really happy and Jaemin realizes he loves the thought that he's the one who made him feel that way. "But I guess I'll take what I can get, huh?"

"Beggars can't be choosers," Jaemin agrees. They smile at each other for a moment and then Donghyuck takes his hand in his.

"Let's go be all gross and coupley, yeah?"

Jaemin squeezes his hand. "Yeah."

***

Donghyuck ends up getting s cold and they don't see each other for a few days after that first date. Jaemin is irrationally worried. On one hand, he knows he likes Donghyuck, he really does. On the other, what if it really was only caused by the romantic atmosphere of Christmas Eve, what if Jaemin feels nothing when they meet again, what if he ends up hurting Donghyuck? And there's another reason to worry— how are things going to be between them now, will it be awkward? What are their friends going to say? Jaemin hasn't told Jeno anything yet and he's not much of an SNS person so he hasn't shared the news with anyone. Jeno kept asking about his non-date but Jaemin only told him that it was okay.

A few days before the New Year, he and Jeno go to Donghyuck's place with notes and readings from all their shared classes. Donghyuck greets them at the door with a smile. He's still sniffing a little but it seems he's already feeling better. He's being his usual self, he talks a lot and makes silly jokes, but Jaemin can't help but notice he seems intent on avoiding making eye contact with him. He only ever looks at Jeno. At first Jaemin thinks Donghyuck is mad at him about something but then he notices the way Donghyuck keeps tugging at the hems of his sleeves and chewing on his lip and he realizes— is he, perhaps, just nervous? Then he realizes something else— he hasn't messaged or contacted Donghyuck in any way since Christmas Eve. And Donghyuck pretty much confessed he'd liked Jaemin for quite a while. Jaemin should have let him know he felt the same.

"I'm going to stay a little longer," Jaemin says when Jeno starts getting ready to leave. Donghyuck glances at him, then looks away. He really seems nervous. Great going, Jaemin, why are you so hopeless when it comes to other people's feelings? Donghyuck is good at putting up a front but he's more sensitive than he lets on. Jaemin should have reassured him that he didn't regret anything that happened between them.

"Okay." Jeno flashes him a grin. "You two have fun," he adds knowingly. Jaemin lowkey wants to hit him but at the same time he's happy Jeno knows what's going on even though Jaemin didn't tell him much. They can talk about it later.

"So what is it?" Donghyuck asks once they're left alone. He's smiling but it looks forced, and he's looking at Jaemin but still not exactly meeting his eyes.

And Jaemin realizes something. Donghyuck's hair is messy, his eyes are swollen and his nose is red and he's sniffing constantly and wearing his favorite worn out Mickey Mouse hoodie. He looks very familiar and donghyucklike and he doesn't really look his best, but Jaemin still thinks he's pretty and he still wants to kiss him. He was so stupid for worrying about it.

"I-I haven't told you," he stutters, suddenly nervous for no good reason. "That I like you too."

Donghyuck blinks at him, clearly surprised. It seems this is not what he thought Jaemin would say. Jaemin takes a deep breath and continues, "Can I kiss you?"

"Uh… no," Donghyuck replies and Jaemin's heart drops. "I mean, I'm all gross and sniffling and my mouth tastes like cough medicine and you're going to catch a cold," he adds with a smile. Jaemin smiles back, relieved.

"Okay. But I can hug you, right?"

Donghyuck spreads his arms, his eyes twinkling. "Knock yourself out."

So Jaemin hugs him and it's really, really nice to be able to feel the warmth of Donghyuck's body through his clothes, feels his heartbeat— suspiciously quick, despite how relaxed he seems. And just— it's good to know he's so close, safe and happy. Donghyuck still smells like his favorite body wash, Jaemin notices, and it's so familiar but so new at the same time.

He thinks from now on it's going to be his favorite scent.  

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