Sehun and Baekhyun's loud yelps, shouts, and screams resounded through the walls as the two boys sat in front of the large TV, two Xbox conrtollers in their hands. After a shouted countdown was read, and the screen flashed red as the letters, "GAME OVER" flashed up on the screen, the two boys collapsed on the sofa, panting. Sehun shoved Baekhyun slightly. "Ha. I win!"

"No, you cheated!"

"Did not!"

"Yes you did, you -"

The front door opened, and in case it was the manager, both boys immeaditely snapped their mouths shut, plastering some not-so-convincing innocent looks on their faces, as practised. But no - a familiar figure stepped, in, kicking his shoes off, closing the door, and almost staggering into the kitchen. Sehun looked at Baekhyun for a moment, sharing a worried look.

Sehun got up and cautiously stepped forwards, all his energy from only a few seconds ago all vanished. Baekhyun hung back, blinking anxiously as he watched the maknae pad into the kitchen, and a second later heard him say,

"... Lay hyung?"

Lay turned around in surprise, but his movements were still slow. Sehun was watching him, his eyes wide. Lay attempted to flash him a smile. "Hi, Sehunnie. What are you doing this late?"

I should be asking the same question to you. Sehun blinked. "I heard you come in, and I don't ... remember you having ... schedule?" It ended at 6.

Lay blinked for a few moments, before laughing nervously. "Uh, yea, I was just getting a bit of dance practise done. You know ... a little more ... exercise?" It sounded like a question. Sehun noticed the light sheen of sweat on the dancer's forehead, the way his arms hyung by his sides, as if he had no energry to lift them. His forehead creased. "For how long?"

Again, Lay puased, looking at the clock. A different expression flashed over his face - was it surprise, disappointment? - and he mumbled, "Only four hours?"

"Sraight?" yelped Baekhyun from the other entrance ot the kitchen. Lay stumbled back in surprise, staring. "... Only four hours ..."

"... Only." Sehun tried not to look too skeptical. Lay eyed him almost fearfully for a second, before muttering, "Goodnight Sehunnie, Baekhyun-ah," and slipped out between them, escaoing up the stairs. Sehun watched him go, sighing. Baekhyun turned around suddenly as he heard another door open.

"Baekhyun - Sehun-ah? What - wait who was that?" Suho frowned as he heard a door click closed from upstairs. Baekhyun blinked. "Hyung?" Sehun hesitantly answered ... "It was Lay hyung."

Suho gaped. "Don't tell me he's only come back now? It's been four hours! That's too much, he's going to -"

"Hyung!" Sehun pleaded, as the elder's voice was starting to rise, almost panicked. "Stop - he ..." he trailed off, uncertain. Baekhyun watched the two from a corner, biting his lip. 

It was true, though. Suho had a right to be worried. Baekhyun had noticed the change in the elder ever since ... he swallowed. Ever since they left, they all changed. He changed, too. 

Nothing was ever really the same again - but did it have to keep happening? 

He had watched from a distance as Lay slowly fell further and further into despair. Stayed out longer and longer, almost disappearing completely, schedule, practise, and he was almost never at home. He could see the dark circles under the boy's eyes every time he stumbled into the dorm late at night, plainly exhausted after hours of dancing that he never needed. Baekhyun had once gone to check on him, sent by Suho who was still having his schedules, to make sure that he "didn't overdo it". 

He never had known that it would have ended with him crying in Suho's embrace after seeing how ... affected the boy had been.

Only after then had the subtle signs become obvious to Baekhyun. Sure, he hadknown that something was wrong - they all knew - buut he never had known how bad things had got, not until he had actually seen it. And now, he felt like he had failed, as a friend, as a bandmate - he never noticed how bad things were, he never tried hard enough to help. 

And now it might be too late. 

He pretended not to see how different things had become afterwards. He pretended to be fooled by the fake smiles of the others, by the carefully chosen innocent questions of a perfect but lifeless conversation. He pretended, for a while, that things were alright, until they really did start becoming better.

Just some of them were still in the dark hole of despair, and Baekhyun wasn't going ot give up on his hyung. Not now, not ever. 

But he knew he was almost powerless - what could he do?

"-hyun?" Baekhyun blinked, suddenly realizing that Suho had been calling him. "Baekhyun-ah, are you alright?"

Baekhyun sighed, swalloweing heavily as he glanced at their worried faces. Be truthful.

"Not while hyung's not," he whispered.

*The next day*

Xiumin shared a glance with Chen as they both heard the front door shut quietly. It was 5am. 

Their first schedule started at 8.

Xiumin sighed heavily. It had been too long. How long were they going to keep on going like this? How long until they were just all able to stop, and to carry on with their lives like normal? How long until they could escape the dark shadow that constantly hung over them?

"Hyung?" Chen tugged at his sleeve. The younger had a worried expression on his face. "Lay ge's going to blow himself out soon, he sohuld be doing this - should I stop him?" he glanced towards the door, and Xiumin could see how the boy was itching to go outside and drag the elder back into the house and forbid him to strain himself more than necessary. 

Unfortunately, he knew that couldn't be done.

"Just a bit more, Jongdae," he said gently. "Wait. It'll sort itself out soon. Just ... make sure that he doesn't do himself any damage." He paused. "Too much damage," he added a second later, sighing. "He's not going to let us stop him."

"How long is it going to keep on going on for, hyung?" Chen sat down on his bed, staring out of the window. "We should have gotten over it ages ago."

"Should have is a strange word," Xiumin replied. "Should rarely ever happens."

Chen didn't answer, instead sighing wordlessly.

Xiumin almost felt guilty for got giving the younger the reassurance that they all needed - but it was reassurance that was hopeless. 

Chanyeol eyed Baekhyun as the elder trudged down the stairs, mumbling a quiet "thank you" to Kyungsoo as he took his bowl, sitting down at the table. Baekhyun stared at his food for a while, biting his lip as he looked towards the front door again, then sighed as he bgan eating quickly, finishing in a matter of minutes. Chanyeol noted the dark circles under is eyes, and something inside him twisted with worry. He didn't sleep? His eyes fell upon Suho at that moment, who was dragging Sehun out of bed and down the stairs with a forced smile on his face. Chanyeol faked a smile back.

He was good at faking smiles.

Did something happen last night?

His eyes drifted towards the door. Was Lay hyung even coming back for breakfast? 

"Chanyeol hyung?" Chanyeol jumped, looking down at Jongin who was standing besides him. "Did - did Lay hyung come back yet?"

Chanyeol's face gave him the answer.

Jongin nodded silently. "Oh." He swallowed, looking at the door. "Okay then."

Suho grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, twisting off the cap and gulping down a few mouthfuls of water. He almost choked as the ice cold water caused a flash of pain to flare up in his temple, but swallowed and pocketed it, walking out of the kitchen.

He knew what he was going to have to do.

"Sehun-ah?" he called the maknae, who was sitting blankly on the sofa. The younger riased his head, blinking. "Can you call the hyungs?" Sehun opened his mouth, then hesitated, nodded, and ran up the stairs. Suho sighed and checked the clock. 

"Suho hyung?" Baekhyun met his eyes as he walked into the living room, taking a seat on the edge of the sofa. Chanyeol followed quickly after, sitting down next to him and asking, "Why ...?"

Xiumin and Chen entered, both silently sitting on the floor next to each other. Kai and Kyungsoo flitered in next, followed by Sehun who came in last. Suho waited until Sehun had sat down next to him on the sofa, then blinked, realizing that he didn't actually know what he was going to say.

"Hyung?" Baekhyun called. "This is about Lay hyung, isn;t it." It wasn't even a question. Suho nodded, biting his lip. "He's still out," he said carefully. "He wouldn't want me - us - doing this, but ..." he his lips nervously. "I can't just stand there," Chen finished for him. "We can't just stand there."

"What are we going to do, though?" Xiumin sighed. Suho noticed Chen flinching slightly at the words. "What can we do? It's not like we can force him, he just -"

"- doesn't understand what's going on, and is reacting in the wrong way," cut off Chen. He shot Xiumin a look. Sehun nodded. "If we can just talk to Lay hyung, maybe ..."

Suho looked at them, forcing a smile on his face. "I think he's -"

"He's not busy, hyung," Baekhyun cut in. "You know that."

Suho glanced at the younger, blinking. Finally he sighed.

"Tonight," he said simply. Then he rose, quickly waling out of the room so they didn't see their leader break down in front of them.

Lay walked into the house quietly, shutting the door behind him. He winced as he accidently put weight onto his ankle, almost stumbling and falling against the wall. Maybe he shouldn't go tomorrow? He shook his head. No. He must keep up, it was just a small injury -

Then he binked in surprise as the lights flickered on.

"Yixing?" He turned as he saw Suho standing behind him, the dim lights making his eyes look large and dark. "Can we talk?"

The cautious look on Suho's face immeadiately put Lay on edge. He had nown them long enough to know this look - thought rarely seen, he knew what it meant. 

He only wore that look once before.

When telling him about that second lawsuit.

The look when he needed to talk but clearly didn't want to.

Lay dreaded what this was going to be, but forced himself to stay calm, and hesitantly replied "... Yes?"

Suho took a few steps back, then half-turned, walking into the small bedroom which he shared with Chanyeol, leaving Lay to clear his suddenly fuzzy head and follow, concentrating on walking in straight lines. Perhaps he'd overloaded it with the practise tonight ...

Lay walked in, only to blink in slight surprise at seeing Chen and Xiumin in the room as well. The younger of the two was staring blankly at the wall whilst the other played absent-mindedly with the slightly frayed bedsheets, but both looked up as he came in, giving him the uncomfortable feeling of being in the spotlight, something which he usually didn;t mind, being an idol and all, but this ...

He sat down gingerly opposite Suho, who was looking at him but also trying to divert his gaze, which ended up with him flitting between Lays eyes and the space of wall behind his head. A moment later, he watched as the rest of the members filed in silently, taking a seat on the floor on on the beds. Lay blinked, trying to get rid of that feeling of nervousness in his gut that he didn;t even see the cause of. They were his bandmates, his brothers - there was no real reason why they would do anything to him.

Maybe he was just anxious about their reaction.

"Y-you said you wanted to talk?" asked Lay, cursing himself for stuttering. Suho nodded, and glanced at Chen and Xiumin for a second before saying carefully, "You've been practising a lot these days, Yixing." Lay froze momentarily, then nodded, "... Yes." 

"Don't you get tired?" asked Chen worridly, and Lay blinked at him. Of course. That's the whole point. "Sometimes ..." he said carefully. "It's not so -"

The air was stifling with silence.

Finally Xiumin hissed under his berath and jumped up, startling everyone else. "Right, this is not going anywhere being careful," he sighed, then turned to a frozen Lay, and his eyes softened. "You know you can trust us, Xing?"

Lay wavered. 

Did he trust them?

Of course he did.

But what was that something that kept holding him back from telling them every time he approahced someone, trying to ask them for help? What was it that made him to anxious not to let the others help him? What was it that stopped him from being so close with them life before? What was it that made him unsure?

Was it him?

Lay felt the tears pricking the back of his eyes, and immeadiately the closest member noticed. Suho's eyes widened, and as Chen gently hugged him, Xiumin murmering words of comfort into his ear, Lay broke down crying - something that he hadn't let himself do since the lawsuits. 

"Hyung?" the multiple voices spoke out, and Lay began to cry even harder at the genuine concern and worry in their voices.

How could he have been so wrong?

"I'm sorry -"  he choked out, and feeling Suho's arms tighten around him, he heard his voice - "What? You didn't do anything ..."

Lay shook his head, and suddenly something in his opened up and the words began spilling out of his mouth, and this time he didn't try to stop them.

***

"I can't believe this," Chanyeol shook his head, his eyes round. "You never told us?"

"How can you not tell us?" whined Sehun, clinging to his arm like the baby maknae he was.  "You don't trust us?" Lay smiled slightly at Sehun's attempt at aegyo, still rubbing at his eyes. 

Chen didn't say anything, instead snuggling closer and becoming a still, heavy bundly of warmth against Lay's side. Baekhyun wsa sitting behind him, fussing over something to a clearly not listening Kai, and Lay's smile widened as he caught a few words of his rapid-fire speech. 

"- I can't believe it my eyeliner's smudged already -"

"You should have told us," Suho whispered, and Lay smiled back at him. "I know now." The leader's face (still slightly wet from the tears) transformed into a grin. "It's not like you were hiding it very well, though. I think you seriously need to take acting lessons if you want to fool us." Lay giggled slightly, pushing him. Kyungsoo popped up besides him, and opened his mouth. "Ar- " 

"Yes I'm fine, Soo, please stop asking," grumbled Lay, scowling at the younger, who just blinked innocently back at him with large round eyes. Xiumin smiled as he watched the scene, catching Suho's eye. 

"Promise me one more thing, Xing," Xiumin spoke up suddenly, and Lay looked up, worry flashing through him. It disappeared after seeing Xiumin's smile.

"Next time, please don't dance to Take Me Out. It's a terrible song."

Lay finally laughed for real this time, and he felt so light, with his brothers laughing alongside him as they fell back into their usual old routine of the three beagles beagling around, Sehun teasing the Kaisoo couple, Suho attempting (and failing) to maintain order amongst the chaos whilst Xiumin stood by, grinning. This was how it should be. 

No more secrets.

Lay grinned, and a sly glint came to his eye as he saw the opening for an attack.

"Hyuunggg~~~~!!"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SO. Happy birthday, our precious beautiful perfect amazing talented unicorn Xing!! <3 I wrote this as a more of an angsty type than my last birthday-fanfic (Lost puppy - Chen) because Chen is a beagle and Lay is ... a unicorn. I hope you like it!! Is anyone going ot follow his new solo?? I'm really excited about it, personally, haha ... ^^

Please drop a comment below if you are reading this right now!! I can see the number of views you know ... don't think you can get away with reading and not commenting ¬.¬ (just kidding) 

I love you all my dear readers!! New readers, welcome!! Please check out some of my other fanfics too ... please? O.O 

Hope you liked it! Personally, I had a lot of fun writing this haha ^_^ Thanks for reading!! Love you!! xxx

meemow123 xxx