lost

lost

It’s almost four in the morning when Baekhyun hears the loud knocks on the front door, seemingly urgent and desperate. He steps out of his bedroom and walks towards the living room where the lights were already put out five hours ago.

“Who is it?” Baekhyun asks sleepily as he reaches the door, voice hoarse.

There’s no answer, only silence. Baekhyun, feeling uneasy, decides to ignore everything and walks back to his room when he suddenly hears thatdeep voice. He halts in his steps, body slowly turning around as he stares at the knob. Why is this happening again?

“B-Baekhyun…it’s me.”

The owner of the voice doesn’t even have to mention his name for Baekhyun to know who it is behind that door.

Slowly, Baekhyun opens the door, tears almost slipping at the sight he is met with before him.

Chanyeol…

The said man smiles at him. Oh how Baekhyun hates the way he feels when he sees that face. Why is he still feeling this way?

Chanyeol scratches his head in embarrassment, feeling guilty that he has interrupted Baekhyun from his sleep. There are thousands of questions floating around in his mind, waiting for answers from Baekhyun.

“Sorry, Baek. I woke up just to find that you weren’t there beside me. So I called Sehun to ask where you were but he said I should stop searching for you. He even yelled at me, saying that he's done with me. I don’t know what has gotten into that kid’s mind. And I didn’t remember where you live. But then I recalled that you gave me your address last time when we had lunch together, so I decided to drive here. But I also forgot that I can’t drive. I don’t even have my own driver's license. Why do I easily forget about everything now?” He takes a long, deep breath and there’s a chuckle that follows behind when he stops talking. He’s completely drenched in sweat, and are those tears in his eyes? Baekhyun can’t tell. He refuses to look at Chanyeol.

“Chanyeol—”

Baekhyun’s fingers are trembling, his body frozen, and everything is way too much, making him think he would collapse right there, in that very same moment.

“So I waited for a bus but it’s already late. No one was even around on the streets. So I had to walk here. Do you know how tired I am just by coming here? I was worried when the bed was empty. I thought you were gone again.” There is desperation, sadness and confusion mounted up, mixed into one feeling. That one feeling which Chanyeol can’t fathom at all.

So he steps forward, closer to his Baekhyun so he can grab the man’s beautiful hands, and tell him that he shouldn’t do that to him again, that he shouldn’t make him worry again, but everything suddenly stops. Even the world around them seems to stop when there's another pair of hands coming from behind and hugging Baekhyun, completely crushing Chanyeol’s hope.

“Why are you still awa—”

Chanyeol doesn’t even wait for the person to finish his words. He takes a step back, not believing his eyes. Jongin, his best friend is there, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's waist.

“W-What is Jongin doing here, Baek?”

Baekhyun’s heart breaks as he watches the man before him. He can’t tell this again to Chanyeol, can he?

“Chanyeol, please go home,” is the only response he can give. He thinks it’s best if Chanyeol just leaves the house and never returns back to him.

“But why. Can you just tell me?”

“I’m…I’m married, Yeol.”

There he said it. How many times does he have to hurt his feelings this way? How many times does he have to explain this to Chanyeol? Why can't Chanyeol remember? Why can't he try to remember this one thing—that they aren't together anymore?

When Chanyeol shifts his sight, he finally finds the answer for the uneasiness in his heart. He fails to notice the ring on Baekhyun’s finger, fails to realize that Jongin is wearing a similar one and it doesn’t take him long to laugh at his stupid, pathetic self. The moon and the stars seem to laugh at him tonight.

“I-I’m sorry. How can I forget this.”

It’s not a question. It’s more like a statement meant for himself. Chanyeol chuckles at himself again before shaking his head, bringing his gaze down. Why is he crying again?

“Jongin, call Sehun.” Chanyeol hears Baekhyun say. There’s urgency in his voice, he can tell that. He sees Jongin rush back into the house, probably going to call Sehun for whatever reason. He slowly works his way to look up again before stopping his gaze on Baekhyun. Then, a sudden realization hits him. He’s at Baekhyun and Jongin’s house. Their house. Chanyeol shouldn’t even be here, especially around this time. The worried look on the smaller male’s face gives enough cue for Chanyeol to take one more step back. He fishes something out of his pocket, and it turns out to be a pen and some crumpled paper.

“What are you doing, Yeol?”

Chanyeol doesn’t listen. He doesn’t even look at Baekhyun as he jots something down on the paper, tears smudged on his cheeks, lips, everywhere. He doesn’t even bother to wipe them. When he’s finally done, he brings his head up and smiles at Baekhyun, showing the latter the paper, fingers trembling.

“Sorry. I wrote this down so I can remember this for as long as I can. I’m…I’m so sorry for disturbing you. Go back inside. Tell Jongin that he doesn't have to call Sehun. And please, please forget everything I said to you. This whole thing is just a mistake.” Chanyeol takes a look at Baekhyun one last time before continuing to say, “I’ll go now.”

He doesn’t even wait when Baekhyun asks him to stop, doesn’t even turn around when Baekhyun asks him to stay. When Chanyeol leaves the house, it doesn’t take Baekhyun long to crumble, heart clenching in pain as he recalls what was written on the paper which Chanyeol has taken away with him, forever.


 

 

Baekhyun is married to Jongin. He’s not yours anymore. Remember that.

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Comments

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dhyunnasworld
#1
Chapter 1: Is it the sequel of until the stars go home?
baektochan
#2
why you do this to us....chanyeolllllll
honeyandclover
#3
Chapter 1: this is so sad and heartbreaking. chanyeol have alzheimer aren't he? ; n ;