She was always the small girl in the corner with the least amount of things to say, the quietest littlest creature. From the first day at preschool I had decided that she was going to be my friend. I spent a week studying my chosen friend. She chose the yellow crayon, the yellow chair and often had something on her that was yellow. My favourite colour was blue, anything blue and because of this l liked looking up at the sky. The clouds made the strangest shapes in my mind and the clearest blue spoke of a lazy summer day.

I approached her the second week of school. “Annyeong! My name is Nam Joo-Hyuk. Will you be my friend?” She looked up at me with a curious look but made no move to shake my outstretched hand or introduce herself.

I looked down pondering on how to get this girl to be my friend or at least speak to me. I looked up with a smile and hurried away to get something. I came back and noticed that she looked sad. I bounced until I was in front of her and held out a yellow ball. “Your favourite colour is yellow right? Here!” I said with the biggest smile on my face. Mommy always told me that if I wanted friends I should always smile and be friendly. I waited with bated breath. Timidly she stretched out her hand and took the ball. “My favourite colour is blue,” I proudly announced and showed her the ball I had gotten for myself. “Did you know that blue and yellow make the colour green? I got a green ball for the both of us to play with! This way you have a yellow one and I have a blue one and we can both throw the green one,” I explained excitedly. She finally looked at me in the eye and I noticed the brown colour of her eyes and the tiny twinkle of a smile.

From that day on, we sat together and I would be the one chatting while she listened to me.

I was used to So Hyun not saying much. She expressed herself with her actions and her facial expressions. We were lucky that we were never bullied even though the other children found her a bit strange. I was content for it to always be me and her.

Like most friendships we had our ups and downs, an extra person was one of the down times for us. The day I met Yook Sungjae I knew that he was going to be trouble. We were in 3^rd grade when Sungjae transferred to our school.

“Be sure to make Sungjae feel welcome,” the teacher said.

I always tried my best to make other acquaintances so I was willing to help the new kid out. I felt this way up until the moment he sat in the only seat available which was next to So Hyun.  

“Annyeong! I hope we can be friends,” I heard him say to So Hyun. There was no verbal response from So Hyun but I assumed that she nodded and gave Sungjae a small smile.

I had been moved from the seat next to So Hyun because I always spoke too much when I was with her. I suppose I had a need to speak so much in order to make up for So Hyun’s silences. Though I had always understood her without her speaking.

At break’s the new kid always sat with us and I felt uncomfortable but I tried to keep up my normal disposition.

I was sick sometime close to the end of term and I wasn’t able to attend school for a week. So Hyun visited me at the hospital after school every day.

However when I went back to school I felt a change in atmosphere. So Hyun smiled often at Sungjae and they exchanged notes during class and words during breaks. I felt hurt and alone, it had taken me, at that time, almost half of my life to get her to do that much with me. I grew moody and angry lashing out at random times. Luckily school ended a week later and nobody had taken much offense or notice. Perhaps that was what fuelled my continual bad behaviour.

As I walked out of the school towards home, I felt a presence beside me. I turned my head to the side and looked to see who it was. A smile crawled its way onto my face, So Hyun. A minute later the blankness that was on my face before returned as I saw Sungjae making his way towards us.

I started to walk faster in an effort to leave them behind. I heard hurried footsteps following me. My anger grew and I started to run. As I broke into a sprint I felt a hand grab my sleeve, I twisted around. I saw So Hyun look at me with eyes that held all the questions that I had been dying for someone to ask me. However, I was at the point where my anger got the best of me and I shouted, “Stop following me. You don’t need me clearly! You’re getting all chummy chummy with Sungjae!” Tears formed and I hid my shame by turning away and I swallowed. “Don’t come visit me anymore So Hyun.” I ran away but not before I heard So Hyun say quietly in confusion, “Hyukkie.”

I still remember the hurt that I felt that day. The self-righteous anger was very strong that day, she was MY friend. Sungjae had no business coming and barging into our friendship. He was the one in the wrong.

A few days into the holiday and as I had demanded So Hyun did not visit. I was moody and my mother worried for her usually agreeable child. I would sit in my room by the window on the second floor looking out to see if she’d defy me and come to see me.

“Joo-Hyuk-ah let’s go to the mall!” my mother said with a large smile on her face. “We can even go get ice cream,” she whispered to me.

I thought about it and then nodded solemnly. Ice cream would make me happy.

At mall, we went looking for a gift for my aunt and clothes for me as I had grown a bit and my winter pants would be too small. As promised I got my ice cream. I at it and looked around only to see that So Hyun and her mother were at the mall as well. Usually I would tug my mother’s hand until I was allowed to go over and say hi. I hesitated as I was still feeling the sting of our fight. However to my surprise So Hyun and her mother walked towards us and it was So Hyun tugging her mother towards us.

When we finally met and after the greetings, the adults started chatting about the upcoming festive season, I looked down awkwardly. So Hyun touched my shoulder and smiled at me with worry in her eyes obviously she was still thinking about the last school day.