4. A Christmas party

Hyukjae started to dance when he was nine years old. They had an activity day at school where the students got to try different sports. Hyukjae had chosen to try lacrosse, basketball and dance. The first sport he tried, lacrosse, had ended in disaster. He had managed to hit a girl, who was in the same class as him, hard in the head with the lacrosse stick, and the poor girl had been forced to go home for the day. The educator had glared at Hyukjae and the man had took the stick away from the terrified boy as he pointed toward the exit. Hyukjae had with lowered head and heavy steps gone out from the gymnasium and felt som much shame that he hardly knew where he was going. He met Taeyeon out on the playground, she had just finished her activity that was field hockey, and she had given him an encouraging pat on the back when he told her what happened. When he had told her the whole story (about how the girl started bleeding and had to go home) her face became somewhat strained. She had, however, tried to cheer him up by telling him that a guy on the floorball had managed to hit three people with his stick, and Hyukjae had immediately felt a little better with the knowledge that he at least wasn't the worst. Basketball had gone much better and Donghae had been in that class aswell. They had first fallen opposite teams, but the teacher had quickly arranged so they were on the same since they just fooled around when they were in the opposing team. After that hour, they had lunch inside the school cafeteria with Taeyeon. Hyukjae noticed that a girl looked at Donghae with yearning gaze. He wrinkled his forehead and elbowed Donghae to get his attention.

"Who's the girl over there?"

He tried to discreetly nod his head toward her, but all his attempts to not be obvious was destroyed by his friends when both Taeyeon and Donghae looked at her. The girl seemed embarrassed when she noticed that they looked at her, but she got in a better mood when Donghae waved toward her with a happy smile.

"Oh, it's Minzy. We were on the same team when we played handball."

Taeyeon giggled before she winked at  Donghae.

"It seems like you've got an admirer." She said as she looked at Minzy.

Donghae could be quite shy towards those he didn't know so Hyukjae was a little surprised over the fact that he looked so self-confident. He looked confused between Donghae and Minzy and quickly came to the conclusion that it wasn't only the girl who had taken a liking. Taeyeon also seemed to have noticed it and whistled low in order to demonstrate her approval.

"Do you think so? Should I go over and talk to her?" Donghae asked.

Taeyeon clapped her hands and nodded eagerly.

"Of course you should! I can give you some advice if you want it!"

Donghae turned to Hyukjae to get his perspective on the situation aswell. Hyukjae looked skeptically at the girl and grabbed his friend's hand just as he was about to get up and walk over to her.

"You know they have strange germs! What if she tries to kiss you and you become ill and then die? I would never forgive myself if that happend!"

Taeyeon and Donghae glanced at each other and thought the same thing but it was Taeyeon who uttered the words.

"Have you seriously not let that go yet?"

Hyukjae shook his head but reluctantly released Donghaes hand. The girls at the table began to giggle when Donghae approached but the boy still seemed confident as he took a seat next to Minzy. It looked as if the two got along very well and that made Hyukjae a little jealous. He had not had a girlfriend since Jiyoon, he had received requests but since he still thought that girls were a little scary (except Taeyeon of course), he had humbly declined.

"Do you think they'll get together now?" Taeyeon asked with a hopeful voice.

"Maybe ... Do you think I'm silly?”

Taeyeon swallowed her drink in the  wrong throat and had to cough a few times before she could breathe normally again. She then smiled warmly at him and took his hand.

"Of course I don't think, perhaps it's a little surprising that you still don't dare to go near the girls but it's something you eventually will outgrow."

She laughed a little and Hyukjae stuck his tongue out at her. He then looked back at Donghae again and inspected the girl really carefully for the first time. She was cute, really cute, he had to admit. She had long bangs that she seemed to try to hide under every time Donghae gave her a compliment, moreover, she had little dimples that was quite cute. Despite this Hyukjae thought that Donghae was much prettier than the girl.

After the lunch break it was time for their last class of the activity day and for Hyukjae did that meant dance. He had at first thought it was a little embarrassing to sign up for it but he had always thought it looked really fun, so at last, he had took the courage to actually chose the dance class. It was something he would not come to regret. The endorphins had been rushing through the little boy's body as he moved in rhythm to the music. The teacher had been really impressed by him and had taken him aside after the class. He had offered him a place in the beginners class which already was full, but since he saw so much potential in Hyukjae he was willing to ignore the rules. Hyukjae had beamed with happiness and a week later he had been on his first real dance lesson. His mother had followed and she was extremely proud when she discovered how talented her son was. The teacher had said something like "he has it in his blood, it's like he doesn't even have to think, his body just floats along with the music." This had obviously resulted in endless dance performances for his mother's friends and afterwards she always bragged about how Hyukjae already was the teacher's favorite student. He had not bothered so much about his mother's bragging, he had just enjoyed the dancing. The same year Hyukjae found the dance Donghae found the music. They had had their first music lesson at school and Donghae had spontaneously sat down infront of a piano and begun to play. To everyone's surprise, it did not sound bad at all and the musicteacher had become very excited. Since it was widely known that Donghae did not come from a wealthy home (which the boy was a little ashamed of) the school had gone in and sponsored with money so he could get private lessons. It didn't require many lessons before Donghae become really good at the piano and at the winter termination he got to play before the entire school. Hyukjae had also performed for the first time before their winter holidays. After the dance, he had to his despair gotten himself an own fan club, it was a group of girls who insisted on following him wherever he went in school. Donghae and Taeyeon had at first thought it was pretty funny but had quickly become just as annoyed as Hyukjae when they constantly had a bunch of giggling girls tailing after them.

When christmas approached Hyukjaes parents wanted to invite both Donghaes and Taeyeons families to celebrate christmas at their home. Since the kids hung out so often they thought it was a good idea in hope to get to know the other parents a little better. Taeyones parents were happy but had to warmly decline the offer, they always went to relatives in Busan over Christmas and they would do that this year also. Donghaes father, on the other hand, was grateful when the invitation came, they always celebrated the holiday by themselves since they had no further relatives to speak of. Hyukjaes mom was happily humming a Christmas song while she oversaw the chefs job in the kitchen. His father was sitting in the living room with his brother and smoked cigars while they drank a glass of whiskey and talked business. Hyukjae had nervously wandered back and forth, he had asked his parents not to offer alcohol at this Christmas dinner but they had ignored his question.

"Of course our guests must be allowed to get themself a whiskey or a glass of wine! What's this nonsense coming from?"

His father had almost felt offended by his son's demands. Hyukjae had, however, stood by his opinion and tried to persuade them to at least consider his proposal. When they still intently argued that there wouldn't be any changes, he had in a desperate attempt told them about Donghaes father. He knew that his parents actually suspected that the man had some problems with alcohol, but not that it was as bad as it actually was. However, it had not helped and Hyukjae had downhearted gone up to his room to get his thoughts elsewhere.

When the doorbell rang in the house Hyukjae stopped his pacing and quickly ran to the door to open it. Outside Donghae and his father waited with big smiles and bag with Christmas presents in their hands. The man had in the honor of the day dressed up really fancy, he wore a flattering suit and his hair was combed back. He was a handsome man and now when they stood next to each other, father and son, with the very same smile, Hyukjae noted how similar they actually looked. They had the same warm brown eyes that seemed to glimmer every time that smile arrived.

"Well hello you little rascal!"

Donghaes father crouched down and ruffled Hyukjaes hair (which would most likely make his mom feel a slight panic, she had spent half an eternity to get her son to look perfect) before he gave the boy a big hug. Hyukjae had happily embraced Donghae before he had grabbed both of their hands and drew them into the house. The house was magnificent. It was large, spacious and beautiful embellishments were incarnated in both walls and furniture. Donghaes dad frozed with his mouth wide open as he stood in the great hall. He had only seen the house on the outside the times he had brought Donghae home and although it was beautiful on the outside, it was still nothing against the inside. Hyukjae and Donghae pulled the man up to the boy's room once he had gathered himself and regained his consciousness. The father had glanced a little on his son when he saw the room, it had everything Donghae hadn't and Hyukjae almost thought to see remorse glimpse in the mans brown eyes. Donghae had not seemed to notice anything, instead he put on Hyukjaes Nintendo and offered his father a game controller. They played Super Mario for a while and the man had laughed as he tried to get the little Italian plumber to do as he wished.

"Well boys! I have not greeted your parents yet Hyukjae, which is very rude of me. Let's go down and talk with them, we can play later again if you boys wants to."

They went down and the first person they were met by was Mrs. Lee. She seemed to be a little taken aback over Donghaes father's looks, usually the man walked around in his dirty work clothes. She showered him with compliments and greeted them warmly.

"Oh Donghae! Just as cute as always, "she chirped happily as she gave the boy a hug and several wet kisses on his cheeks.

She led them to the living room where most of the guests were. Hyukjae noticed that both Donghae and his father glanced nervously at the bar that was opened to everyone to be able to fill their glasses with whatever they wanted to drink. Hyukjae grabbed Donghaes hand and squeezed it gently.

"I tried" he whispered.

Donghae nodded and mouthed "thank you anyway."

"Welcome! This is my son's best friend Donghae and his father Dongwan. "

Guests nodded happily ate them, and some of the female visitors looked approvingly at Dongwan.

"Take a welcome drink, the food will be served in an hour."

Mr. Lee took out a glass and stood at the bar.

"Thanks but I think I refrain for the moment, I may take a drink later." Dongwan said with a nervous expression on his face.

The two boys left the adults and Hyukjae eagerly drew Donghae toward his cousins. He had two; Kyuhyun who was a year younger than himself and Yuri who was two years older. The girl was warm-hearted and had happily welcomed Donghae. Kyuhyun on the other hand, had a fox behind each ear and was a bit more difficult to read. Donghae, however, had quickly became unfocused when he noticed the big black grand piano that stood in one corner of the room. It had not been there before. Hyukjae looked in the same direction as Donghae, the cousins was fighting over something unclear sp they were nevertheless not fun at the moment.

"When did you get

that?"

Hyukjae shrugged.

"Dad and Mom bought it last week. They think that you have become so good at playing, and they have always wanted a piano, so they figured that since you're here so often they could as well buy one now ... you know, so it will be used also."

Donghae gaped.

"So you mean that they basically bought it for me?"

Hyukjae laughed but nodded. His parents had been so proud of Donghae when he had performed at the end of the winter term. They saw him as an extra son and had first envisioned delivering the piano home to Donghae, but since they had a small house and the boy was spending so much time at Hyukjaes home, they felt that the wing could just as well be in their living room.

Christmas dinner went by painlessly at the beginning. Donghae and Hyukjae was playing with the cousins ​​and Donghae thought Kyuhyun was really festive. The boy had a mind of his own and was quick-witted, but still nice. Dongwan did however appear to increasingly feel uncomfortable in the situation. Drinks was offered uninterruptedly and the finer company did not seem to fit the man. When the dessert was served he gave up and took a glass of liqueur along with his coffee. Donghae looked pointedly at his father, but he seemed to ignore his son's gaze. He swept the liqueur in one go and poured another glass. Donghae shooked his head disappointed.

"Maybe we should go home, this will not end well" he sadly whispered to Hyukjae.

Hyukjae discreetly searched for his friend's hand under the table and gave it a gentle hug when he found it.

"Can't you wait until the presents are handed out at least?"

Dongwan had already become quite drunk when the dessert was ingested and when Hyukjaes mother announced that it was time for Christmas delivery, the boys breathed out slightly. Hopefully, it would mean a break from the drinking, and afterwards Donghae and his father could sneak home before the man got too much to drink. At first it seemed that the plan indeed would succeed. Donghae had a gotten a really nice Batman doll from Hyukjae. It looked like the doll that had been buried along with the other two things, but it was of a newer version. Donghae had been screaming in joy and gave his friend a warm hug. Hyukjae wondered if Minzy had given him a gift as a nice as his, he hoped at least that wasn't the case. They had gotten together shortly after the activity day and it was Donghae who had asked. When the largest present was given to Donghae and when it proved to be a very expensive and delicate keyboard in, it was as if something snaped in Dongwan. He hurriedly got hold of a large glass nearby and filled it with pure alcohol. He swept the glass in one go and before he could pour up a new Hyukjaes father took a hold of him.

"What on earth are you doing ?!" he whispered discretely so that any of the other guests wouldn't see them.

However, it was already too late. Those who were closest had already seen how Dongwan had poured the glass of liquor in his mouth. They stood and whispered as they curiously looked at the situation which was played in front of them.

Dongwan jerked of his hand and wobbled.

"We are not a charity project for you rich people! Admit that we are only invited here for you to feel good about yourself, for you to do a good deed and be able to brag about it to all of your other snobby friends! "

The room was now completely silent. The alcohol made Dongwan lose his perception of both voice and speech. Donghae looked around the room ashamed before he got up and walked over to his father. He looked apologetically at Mr. And Mrs. Lee before he took his father's hand.

"Maybe you should go home now," Mr. Lee said with a sharp voice and Hyukjae could feel the panic bubbling up inside him.

Donghae looked like a sad dog where he stood with everyone's judgmental glances at him and his father. Donghae nodded as he tried to stifle a sob. He faked a smile to assure Hyukjae that everything was okay, but the friend knew better and knew that Donghae practically bled on the inside. He quickly jumped to his feet and stood in front of his friend and his father.

"We can go up to my room for a while Dad, they don't need to go yet"

Hyukjae himself could hear how desperate he sounded, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to have his best friend with him on Christmas Eve, to having the one he held most dear by his side. However Dongwan shook his head.

"It is time for us to go, we should never have come in the very beginning. We are not some kind of animal that is for other people's pleasure. " Dongwan said with contempt.

He pulled his son out of the room to the door, took his jacket and furiously tored up the front door. The alcohol, however, had caused him to lose control of his body and the slippery steps led to that the man slipped and landed in a pile of snow. Mrs. Lee who had followed hissed at the sight. The family's chauffeur was called and after a lot of ifs and buts they managed to persuade Dongwan to get a ride home. Donghae was standing at the driveway and sobbed while Leeteuk, the driver, tried to get his dad in the car. Through the window, he saw how the car drove out to the street and disappeared. His whole heart seemed to be destroyed and for the first time he thought he understand what Donghae had meant:

"He said that his heart is broken, that mom took some pieces of it when she left us for another life. I don't really know what it means but I still think I understand what he goes through because sometimes when he gets sad, it feels as if some pieces of my heart falls out from my chest to."

He ran up to his room and slammed the door behind him. It was not long before a soft knock was heard outside the door and when Hyukjae didn't say anything, his mother opened it carefully. Hyukjae cried so hard that he gasped for air and had a hard time breathing.

"My love. This wasn't what we imagined "

She sat down next to her son and embraced him.

"I told you!"

Hyukjae angrily broke loose and stood up.

"I told you not to serve alcohol. Must everything always be so perfect? Why can't you just for once listen to me?"

He was not crying as much anymore, as anger began to take over the grief. His mother nodded.

"I know, sorry darling. We should have listened to you. Poor Donghae "

To Hyukjaes surprise, his mom was also crying and at the sight of it, he softened. They sat so together, on his bed while crying, until evening came and the guests began to go home. She kissed his son on the forehead before she finally went down to talk to those who were still left in the party. Hyukjae sighed and peered out the window while the thoughts were at Donghae. Paradoxically, he seemed to catch a glimpse of the boy outside his bedroom window and it took a few seconds before he realized that it actually was the boy who sat outside. He jumped out of bed and ran to the window to open it. Donghae climbed in and threw his arms around his neck while sobbing.

"I'm sorry for today," he whispered in his ear while they hugged each other.

"You have nothing to apologize for. It is our parents who should do it. "

Donghae nodded.

"He continued to drink when we came home, he fell asleep in front of the TV."

"Do you want to sleep here?"

Donghae smiled, wiped the tears from his cheeks and nodded. He picked up a small package from a bag he had brought with him and gave it to Hyukjae.

"I was never able give you your Christmas present!"

Hyukjae eagerly tore off the paper and a small box glimpsed underneath. He carefully placed it on his desk and opened it.

"It's not as nice as the gift you gave me" Donghae looked embarrassed down at his feet. "Dad helped me to carve them, it's supposed to be you, me and Taeyeon."

In the box were three small wooden figures carefully carved and painted, Hyukjae could see which figure who was supposed to imagine who in the gang.

"I love them!"

Hyukjae was used to get expensive fancy gadgets but this gift was different, it had been made out of care. They played for a while before they went to bed. That evening Hyukjae for the first time said the three most beautiful words to his friend.

When Donghae fell asleep, Hyukjae layed there and watched him, he felt that his heart of some obscure reason, was filled with warmth. He leaned closer and whispered in his sleeping friend's ear:

"I love you"