Gay marriage was a joke...

Seunghyun cackled at that. Despite the irony within. These words kept swirling around his mind. They sounded so easy and relaxed from a certain someone. Yet, it's hurts like hell for Seunghyun.

The rapper sat down by the pedestrian walk and sipped his casual bottle of soju. He chuckled again at the mere thought, tumbling back limply. Letting the rough pavement to rubbed against his back, ignorant that it would dirtied his shirt later. 

His coat was no where to be seen like he could find it in a state like his. His tie was tugged loose, draping helpless on his wide shoulders. His perfect slicked hair was now tousled too. He had a fun time just thinking how the nosy public would reacted upon hearing BIGBANG's TOP would be drunk by the road, suffering heartbreak like anyone else. Probably the news headline tomorrow.

Well, them...

He prefer a reunion with drunkenness and fell into the pit of unconsciousness. He doesn't want to care about the world anymore. He just wanted to numb his aching heart. The reality is harsh, far too harsh for a fragile man like him. His life which was once filled with warmth of truffles fried eggs morning was now forever gone. His nights which awaits a certain companion. That, gone too. Disappear into thin air like the cigs he smoked.

"Jiyong..." He laugh maniacally. "Jiyong, Jiyong, Jiyong..." So pathetic. His most beloved one has starting a whole new life and forgotten everything about them. And here he is, missing everything about him without a shame for himself and hoping that there's still something can be repaired. 

"8 years of marriage..." And 15 years of relationship. Seunghyun gurgled his liquor. He swallowed it and groaned at the sting behind his throat. "...gone." He giggled as his shoulders shook, sudden tears left the brim of eyes.

He looked at the stars above and laughed mockingly at himself. 

"Choi Seunghyun, you ing idiot!"

What is the use of the stars anymore? This beautiful sight before him can't be admire by his artistic instincts anymore. He find no direction from them like the ancient wanderers do. He has lost both of them long when Jiyong left with his heart in tow.

Jiyong was so beautiful. So dangerously beautiful that he resembles the universe to Seunghyun. As a rapper, an actor, a curator. Jiyong was his inspiration. The pillar of his life. The pinnacle of his love.

Jiyong's proud smile and gleams of his eyes are his motivations whenever he stood on the stage. Every time he received an award, he just does it for his smile. He owned nothing honestly, Jiyong was truly everything he had.

His heart was once broken in his youth and he grew timid of love. Jiyong his leader and friend at that time, mended him. He nurture his heart to be confident and pumped for love again. He gave him everything when he confessed. And life when they married. 

12 years after that, here he was again at the mercy of heartbreak. He was nearing his thirties now, thin lines beside his eyes and some greys beneath his hairline and yet he felt as vulnerable as a clueless 15 years old.

Jiyong on that very day of their anniversary.

May 20th.

A now mocking date to him, confessed that he cheated on Seunghyun and he wanted a divorce. It was a joke and always will be a joke to Seunghyun. But, reality it is. The husband he loves so much, did cheated and before he knew a lawyer had done the divorcing thingy for them. Dividing everything they shared into a a half.

Everything that created their memories, involved in their memories are not his anymore. They own a new master now. They all belongs to Jiyong's new lover now. He was left with nothingness again.

Jiyong got intimate with a young model at some point of marriage. Seunghyun met her once and she was undeniably beautiful and polite. No wonder Jiyong fell head over heels for her. Seunghyun doesn't hate her and he held no grudges for anybody. He blamed himself for not saving their love. Long they've have known that their marriage is dying and something was gone from within. Just nobody dare to voice