The Snow White Parody! This is a mash-up of various Snow White versions, but mostly it is based off Brothers Grimm's version rather than the Disney one. I also mixed a lot of other elements. Forgive me, this is so random. (lol) Here you go!

Once upon a time, in the middle of winter, when the snowflakes were failing like feathers on the earth, a Queen sat at a window framed in black ebony and sewed. And as she sewed and gazed out to the white landscape, she pricked her finger with the needle, and three drops of blood fell on the snow outside, and because the red showed out so well against the white she thought to herself:

“Oh, what wouldn’t I give to have a child as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as ebony!”

“That would be a horrendous monster,” the King said, who had been sitting and reading a book nearby.

“Oh, Your Majesty! I meant complexion as white as snow, lips and cheeks as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony!” corrected the Queen in panic. With this, King and Queen managed to evade a terrible fate to their lineage.

Thanks to the King, her specific wish was granted safely. Not long after, a baby was born to her, with a skin as white as snow, lips and cheeks as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony. They called the child Snow White, but not long after the birth, the Queen passed away.

After three years, the King married again. His new wife was a beautiful woman, but proud and overbearing she was that she couldn’t stand any rival to her beauty. She possessed a magic mirror, and when she used to stand before it gazing at her own reflection and ask:

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

Who’s the fairest of all?”

It always replied:

“You are most fair, my Lady Queen,

No one fairer in the land, I ween.”

Then, she was quite happy, for she knew the mirror always spoke the truth. But, as years passed and Snow White grew older, the Queen saw the child’s own beauty gradually bloomed. Absorbed by her anxiety, she never once missed a day without standing before her magic mirror and repeating the same question, expecting constant answer. Until one day, when she asked:

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

Who’s the fairest of all?”

The mirror replied, instead of its usual, this:

“My Lady Queen, you are fair, ‘tis true,

But Snow White is fairer than you.”

Then the Queen flew into the most awful passion and turned every shade of green in her jealousy. She glared at the mirror and cursed.

“How come Snow White is fairer than I?”

“Well,” Magic Mirror said sheepishly, “How must I explain this? There are quite a few beautiful maidens in all the land, milady. There is this Belle, her name means beauty. We also have Cinderwench—we never know her real name, but she is also the fairest in her kingdom. We should not forget Mulan of the East. She has bravery and honor beyond men’s! But worry not, my Lady Queen, you are absolutely in the top ten!”

“Top ten?! There is only one spot worth fighting and it’s number one! You can’t give me a ‘Top Ten’ title! Tell me, who is the number one?” she demanded angrily that the stone of their castle shook violently.

“If you insist…” the Magic Mirror said reluctantly, “Snow White is currently at the top, my Lady Queen.”

“CURSES!” the Queen cursed. “I shall kill that child!”

“But I didn’t say you are the second…” Magic Mirror tried to straighten up the truth.

“With my power, even the fairest Snow White can’t stand a chance!” Enter here the absolutely manic laugh. The Magic Mirror sighed.

“Should I remind you, Your Majesty, that your magic doesn’t work on Snow White?”

The Queen stopped abruptly and came back to her senses. “You are right. I cannot ask for a physical murder, too, since the King is still alive. But he hasn’t written his will—I must wait until he writes the will, whether the crown shall be passed on to Snow White or me, I shall have it.” She, then, dived into deep considerations as to the scheme she would play for her goal, leaving Magic Mirror once again alone and function as no more than regular mirror.

“Ah, such an ambitious women. y, but very dangerous,” the Magic Mirror said.

*****

The words on the beauty of Snow White and the Queen had spread far and wide. The kingdom, although prosperous since beginning, was now striving better. Princes and noblemen from many lands came to visit, attracted by the enticing advertisement. They ought to ask for Snow White’s hands, but after countless of visitors and suitors, Snow White remained unmarried for Snow had not come of age.

At sixteenth winter after Snow White’s birth, there came a prince of far off land. He was handsome and strong, a warrior and victor of countless battle. He, too, was intrigued by words spoken among his people of the fair Snow White. He arrived at the palace as festival for Snow White’s honor was about to begin. Of course, this prince was Taecyeon. Why did the Prince appear this early? Grimm made the Prince magically appear after Snow lied dead in a glass case and claimed that he was deeply in love with her, like, please. Argh, so random! Right, Taec?

“Shut up, random author and get on with it!”

Yes, Your Highness. Certainly I will not go with Disney’s Snow White, so, here I put the Prince at the King’s court, instead of making the Prince trespass and hear Snow White sing into a well as if it was okay for a prince swagger into someone’s castle and chase a pretty scullery maid. There, the Prince, kindly greeted by the King himself, bowed and presented three chests of treasure as a token of friendship between their kingdoms.

“King Jinyoung, I have prepared a chest each for you, the Queen, and the Princess. First is filled with gold pieces that shine so brightly you might be blinded as you lay your eyes on them and this is for Your Majesty the King.”

His steward opened the chest and exhibited a chest full of gold pieces that truly blinded the King’s eyes. The King was immensely impressed, but he did not see the dark want that his Queen emitted as she saw by his side.

“Second contains most precious jewels of all lands: pearls, jades, rubies, emeralds, sapphires, and likewise. There could be nothing less I could offer for such a beauty that now belongs with you, which is Her Majesty the Queen.”

The second chest was displayed. It was as he said and the Queen smiled widely, thinking of how she would be fairer now adorned with such extraordinary jewels.

“You certainly are a charming man, Prince Taecyeon! You know exactly how to please a woman!” the Queen said. You are incredibly handsome, too!

“Oh, Your Majesty, you must only jeer me. It is merely common sense,” Prince Taecyeon humbly replied. “The third chest is meant for the princess, but I was hoping to show my present directly to her. It will be unfair if I am to announce it without her.”

“Yo, Guard #1,” King Jinyoung gestured to Guard #1 whose name was really that because the writer was too lazy to give him a proper name, “Where is Snow White? Didn’t I request for Snow White to join us immediately?”

“The… the Princess refused and escaped, Your Majesty. We still cannot find her.”

“Oh, dear,” the Queen interrupted before the King turned red and blew up, “I shall seek for her. I know well where she might be hiding.”

“Your Majesty,” Prince Taecyeon interjected. “On second thought, I suppose we cannot force the Princess if she wishes not to see me. If I may, I am highly intrigued by your enchanting castle and I wish I can take a walk and rest. I shall come afterwards and if the Princess remains with her decision to shun me, I shall leave with her present untouched.”

“Very well, Young Prince. It is an honor for us to receive such appreciation,” the King exclaimed. “Later, I shall send a man to inform you once we meet the Princess and hear her words.”

Prince Taecyeon bowed and left briskly. His steward and attendants followed, bringing along the third chest. The steward came and asked if there was anything not to the Prince’s liking. His Prince was chalk pale and began to sweat profusely, but as they walked farther from the throne chamber, he was himself again.

“I must stay away from Queen Victoria. I feel as if she was my life out of me.”

At the same moment, Queen Victoria had left the throne room, and she thought angrily to herself: “He escaped! Could it be that he felt my power although I haven’t started to feed off his life power and merely steal a taste? How feral—his instinct could be close to wild beasts. What a waste. He is a very handsome man!”

“Could she be a danger, Your Highness?”

“My battle-honed senses scream so.”

They, then, arrived in front of a maze garden made of bushes of roses. The Prince was tall and the maze was easily seen. At the far end was a pavilion. He dismissed his , telling them to wait inside for now since he needed time to think. Prince Taecyeon entered the maze without a doubt, but how foolish he was to expect the place was not infused with magic. He soon found himself unable to find the way out even though he could clearly see the exit. As fate dictated, he instead found a woman sitting at a table in the middle of the maze, sewing.

This young woman was the fairest he ever saw. Her skin was snow white, her hair was ebony black, and her lips and cheeks blood red. The description enlightened him. He approached the figure, who instantly noticed him. Prince Taecyeon was awestruck by her bright eyes that were full of kindness and warmth.

“Pardon the intrusion,” the Prince said after a moment of silence. “This is quite embarrassing, but, milady, may I ask for your assistance? I seem to be unable to find the way out of this garden.”

“Certainly,” the woman replied. “May I know who you are?”

“I am Taecyeon.”

“Ah, you must be the Prince,” she said.

“Yes, and dare I say that you must be Princess Snow White?”

The young woman giggled softly. How heavenly her voice was, the Prince thought. She put aside her sewing and she stood.

“I am afraid that I must disappoint you,” she said. “I am no princess. I am a prince, the same as you.”

The Prince stared at the young woman’s face for a long time, unblinking. The words sank into his mind and he progressively could see that this was true. The one standing before him was indeed a man even in a pretty dress. He was beautiful, but he was still a man. Prince Taecyeon fell to the ground.

“I failed to find a bride… again.” Cue the dramatic, tragic background music. Grey cloud and rain above the devastated prince.

Snow White laughed mirthfully as he witnessed the Prince’s grief. Prince Taecyeon stood and demanded to know why would they lie of Snow White’s gender.

“It is a trick my father does to attract visitors,” he explained. “He spreads the word to our people to stay quiet about my true gender and just tell other people that Snow White is the fairest of them all. Stupid princes are the biggest fool among others and their visits increase our economy drastically.”

“Ah, so, I am a stupid prince, too?” Taecyeon asked, scoffing.

“That now you stand here before me, yes, you absolutely are a stupid prince,” Snow White replied merrily. The Prince sighed, but he thought this was not all in vain. He stepped up towards Snow White boldly, surprising the younger prince. Snow White jumped back slightly, shocked by the sudden intrusion to his personal space.

“I might not be here to marry you anymore, Snow White, but it does not mean we cannot be friends,” he said with a charming grin. “Would you please show me the way out?” Blushing lightly, Snow White nodded and gestured him to follow.

“The maze is enchanted. It causes people to get confused and trapped, especially the handsome ones,” explained Snow White. Prince Taecyeon grinned at this, directing it to Snow White.

“I am handsome even for a man like you?”

“I never said you were,” denied Snow White, but his cheeks turned redder.

“Does the Queen practice magic?” the Prince inquired seriously. Snow White nodded.

“For some reason, her magic does not work on me, which allows me to hide in the plain sight.”

“I see. When I was presenting my gifts, I felt that my soul was being out. I believe it was the Queen.”

“Yes, it must be her. She feeds on handsome and beautiful people’s life power.”

“Ah, I see. I am handsome, hm?” teased Prince Taecyeon, rubbing his chin vainly. Snow White was not amused. He stopped and pointed straight forward.

“Here is the exit.”

“But, I am sorry, milord, this is the woods!” Taecyeon shouted. He looked past his shoulder and pointed at the castle. “I wanted to get out and go back to the castle!”

“Oh, why didn’t you say so?” innocently Snow White asked. “It’s all the way back.”

“Ah, really?” Taecyeon sardonically responded.

“Hey, Princess, it seems that you take a deep liking to this one,” a voice jeered from the woods. They looked about. A tall, young man stepped out of behind a tree. His outfit implied that he was a huntsman.

“Keep your mouth shut, Chansung!” Snow White snapped.

“You look good with him,” the huntsman continued, giggling continuously.

“I am a man! I wish for girls, not boys,” insisted Snow White.

Mattered not what the disguising prince said, Chansung said, “I believed you, I would, but you like this one, don’t you?”

Snow White turned sharply and grabbed Prince Taecyeon by the wrist. He heard Chansung cackled away as they strutted towards the castle. Curious, Taecyeon peered into Snow White’s face. He was bright red to the tip of his ears, his lips turned down emphasizing his unhappiness.

“Who was that?” Taecyeon asked.

“A huntsman. Hired to provide finest meat for the Queen,” firmly Snow White replied.

“You seem quite friendly with him.”

“Yes, why would you mention it? Jealous already, Your Highness?” mischievously Snow White asked with a playful smirk. The Prince, however, was not flustered, instead he answered back boldly:

“Yes, I cannot help, but feel jealousy. You seem fun to have around despite being a royalty and I simply am attracted to you.”

“I prefer girls,” sharply Snow White dismissed, but he was obviously affected judging from his, again, reddening cheeks and ears.

As they drew near the castle, Prince Taecyeon suddenly grabbed Snow White, moving him away from the tiny path they were walking on. An arrow had flown for Snow White’s heart and the Queen was openly holding the bow. Playing an innocent act, both Prince Taecyeon and Queen Victoria greeted each other neutrally.

“Your Majesty, do mind your aim as you practice, I beseech. There could be victims,” Prince Taecyeon said. You evil queen really know no bound! Should take that arrow to knee! That is one old joke, my prince. Shut it, Author.

“Do forgive me, young prince! I did not see you or my dearest Snow coming from that direction. I will certainly pay closer attention next time,” the Queen said.

Her blood boiled and in her mind, black desire for Snow White’s demise grew immensely. If only the Prince had not such reflexes of a beast! She gracefully left for the castle, but once inside, she stomped her way along the hall. Then, she saw the Prince’s steward and servants with the last chest. Greed consumed her at once. With her magic, she put the men to sleep, and quickly she opened the chest, expecting greater and more luxurious gifts prepared for Snow White. Her hopes, however, were turned into ashes. In that chest, there only was a single red bow. It was made of silk and it was pretty—but howsoever, it was nothing more than a bow.

“So much for my high expectation,” she jeered. She