– Sungjong POV –

Once the PD signaled that the filming is done for today we all bowed down and thank everyone for their hard work, today is our fourth time filming for infinite showtime, and for the fourth episode gyu hyung pulled a hidden camera to all of us but specially for dongwoo hyung and myungsoo hyung. Anyway I don’t want to spoil anymore so better just watch it. Well the filming went well and we enjoyed it just like the other first three shootings. If I have any complains it’s only because of how a certain someone is all close and touchy with his former teacher.

Just looking at them irritates me, don’t get me wrong I don’t hate teacher hayoung she is actually nice but I just can’t help but feel irritated especially when myungsoo is being all touchy and literally sticking to his previous teacher. Plus he has this stupid smile and look, like he haven’t seen her for a long, long time but truthfully he just saw each other a few months ago. And they actually exchange messages almost every day so is there a reason for him to be like this? Tsk it really irks me.

And what vexed me even more was how they were hugging and how teacher hayoung caress myungsoo’s face, like she was myungsoo’s lover or something, I actually don’t know how I kept myself compose and more especially my facial expression under control when I saw their interaction. Then at the end when we are told to take a picture I purposely went to the other side and beside dongwoo hyung even though I should be in the middle beside myungsoo hyung and his precious teacher.

Anyway I bowed one last time to our special guest and excuse myself and I went to the comfort room. I wash my hands and look at myself in the mirror and fix my hair and compose myself and let my annoyance seep off but it’s no use and instead remembering how they interact and speak about each other and how myungsoo acts like a lovesick puppy to his precious teacher irritates me even more. I exhale loudly and gave up as I walk out of the comfort room and went back and see that dongwoo hyung is still catching up with his teacher together with sunggyu hyung and myungsoo is talking to his teacher with woohyun.

I just rolled my eyes of course he would still be beside his precious teacher; hoya hyung is on his phone and since I don’t want to disturb him I just walk towards where seonho hyung is. When I saw seonho hyung and got near him I ask him my bag and he handed it to me and I took my phone and then grab my earplugs and played some songs so that I can block out the voices that is surrounding me especially the voice of my so called boyfriend. Tsk

Hyung?

Seonho- hmm?

Can I go now?

Seonho- what? Where are you going?

Home? Back at the company, anywhere I just don’t want to stay here any longer

Seonho- what got you in a foul mood?

Nothing I’m just tired so hyung can I?

Seonho- aisht where do you really want to go? If you tell me a specific place I will think about it and I would even drive you there and drop you off.

Fine, I want to go home then, I want to rest

Seonho- sigh, fine but I’ll go inform the staffs first, it’s a good thing you don’t have any other schedule after this.

Thank you hyung, I’ll go in the car first

Seonho- okay here’s the car key

I took the car key and sling my bag as I head towards the door, I didn’t forget to bow to every staff I bump into and said my goodbye’s, once I got to the car I unlock it and went to the back seat and I put my bag on the empty seat beside me and rest my head on the car head rest, I then close my eyes and enjoy the silence that the car is offering me well not exactly quiet since I’m listening to some songs. After a few minutes I hear the car door open and I didn’t bother opening my eyes because I’m sure that its seonho hyung.

Hyung here’s the key I extended my hand without opening my eyes, but after a few seconds there was no sound or even an attempt to grab the keys on my hands so I pulled my earphones out and  open my eyes and sat up. There I see myungsoo hyung standing in front of our van’s door and looking at me worriedly

Myungsoo- are you okay?

Where is seonho hyung? My voice sounding so cold and firm which kinda surprise him yet I can see that he just ignored it. At first I want to reply to him “so now you care?” but I contain myself because it would just make things complicated and I really don’t want to have an argument with him right now because I don’t think I can compose myself and I would explode because of this green monster that is eating me up inside.

Myungsoo- jjongie I’m asking you if you’re feeling alright?

And I’m also asking you where is seonho hyung

Myungsoo- sigh, he is talking to the staff, he told us first before approaching the showtime staffs. So can you please answer my question now?

Yeah just a little head ache, anyway you should go back inside I’m fine.

Myungsoo- are you sure? Do you want me to go home with you?

Yes and No. Can you just leave me alone myungsoo hyung? My head is really aching and the cold air that is coming in isn’t really helping. After saying that I turn my back on him and face the window and close my eyes, I hear him exhale loudly and I just bit my lower lips, I’m sure he is really clueless why I am acting like this but I just can’t help but be irritated seeing him.

Myungsoo- I understand, call me if you need something okay? I’ll be home after I send teacher hayoung home

Hearing her name again irritates me even more so I stayed silent and didn’t bother giving him any response and I guess he figure out that I won’t be talking to him anymore because I hear him exhale again and he silently said he’ll see me later and then I hear the door close. I let a few seconds pass by before I turn around and see myungsoo hyung heading to the restaurant again and seonho hyung then comes out and he then went to the driver seat and I handed him the car keys, and after a few moments we drive off.

Seonho- you don’t want to talk about this jjongie?

….

Seonho- sigh fine, but whatever got you into this mood or set you off you know sharing it to someone would help you feel better. Don’t just bottle it all up.

I remain silent and just close my eyes, I know I should talk it thru with myungsoo hyung but maybe went I’m a little less annoyed or when this green monster finally settled down. Sigh I hate feeling like this I seriously hate it, it feels so unsettling and it looks like I don’t trust him and it feels so new, I don’t feel like this frequently because I trust myungsoo with all my heart but seeing how they act towards each other I can’t help but feel like this. It’s so not me and so out of my normal and usual character.

I hear seonho hyung calling me so I open my eyes and I look at the window and see that we are already in front of our apartment and I took my bag and went out of car, I thanked hyung for driving me off and he asked me if I can handle myself and I told him yes and he should go back to the restaurant and go back to the others. Plus the other hyung’s wouldn’t fit on the other van because they are together with our make-up artist and stylist. I then went inside the apartment and to the elevator going to our dorm.

Once I got inside our house, I took my shoes off and went to my room and put my bag on the side of my bed and took my coat off and so as my other clothes, I went to my cabinet and take a comfortable shirt and put it on. Once I deem myself all ready to rest, I went to my bed and went under my blanket and let myself welcome the comfort my bed is offering me. Even though my eyes are close my mind keeps on wandering to different things or more specifically to other people and let’s just say going with the name of Kim Myungsoo and Lee Hayoung. Sigh

- Time skip -

I snuggled to the warmth that is embracing me, this blanket is doing a really good job on keeping me warm and cozy better buy another one like this, but then a few seconds later I feel a puff of air brush the tips of my hair. So I open my eyes and the first thing I see is black and the all too familiar smell that is now intruding my nostril, I pulled away and look up and see myungsoo sleeping face while hugging me, his chin resting on top of my head. When he feels that I somehow move his hands that are wrapped around my body tighten its hold and pulled me even closer.

He sure is sneaky I didn’t feel him slipping in my bed and even more so feel him hug me and pulling me into his embrace. Wonder what time he got home? Well more like I wonder what time it is already, I tried lifting my head to look at my side table but myungsoo is holding on to me real good and I can’t really break free from his embrace. I tried turning around so that I can face the window but seriously never joke myungsoo’s strength he is just trying to fool everyone that he is weak. He likes making people confused and left wondering what really is the truth.

Myungsoo- nggh stop moving, let’s sleep some more jjongie

But I’m thirsty

Myungsoo- ngh, I’ll go get it for you, wait.

I can…

Before I even finish what I’m saying he kissed my lips and smile to me then he stand up and yawn, stretched his body before going out of my room and getting me something to drink. Why is he acting like this? Can’t he see I’m trying to be upset here? Him acting like this is making it hard for me to stay mad at him so unfair, hmp. I’m sure he is doing this in purpose so that I won’t be mad at him anymore and trying to coax me so he is now being all attentive to my every need. I grab my phone on my night stand and look at the time and it’s already 10:30 pm.

Ugh I don’t think I can go back to sleep, but it’s a good thing we have a free day tomorrow

 Myungsoo- jjongie here’s your water

Uhh, thank hyung

Myungsoo- are you feeling well already? Your head isn’t aching anymore?

Huh? Oh yeah I guess I just needed some sleep.

Myungsoo- you sure? We could go to the hospital and have you checked up

Don’t over react; I think it’s just over fatigue I just need to sleep it off which I did earlier.

Myungsoo- okay if you say so, but if you don’t feel well again we’ll go to the hospital okay?

You’re being too worried, but fine because I’m sure there isn’t any room for arguments here.

Myungsoo- Are you hungry?

No, after the variety of dish we eat earlier I don’t think I can eat anymore for today.

Myungsoo- want to go back to sleep, I think I can use some more sleep?

Here’s the deal, you go to your room and you go back to sleep and I’ll just do something else

Myungsoo- did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Did I do something to anger you?  

No

Myungsoo- then why can’t I sleep here then? And why are you even sleeping here? Haven’t you been sleeping beside me for months already despite us being in a different room.

I just feel like sleeping on my own bed hyung and I wasn’t feeling well and I might infect you so sleeping here would be the best idea.

Myungsoo- and you won’t infect sungyeol? And didn’t you say you are okay now so there isn’t a problem with us sleeping together. Seriously what’s wrong jjongie?

Ugh I can’t think of any more reason to give him and I can see that he is losing his patients on me and I think that he can really feel that something is wrong with me. The more I lie to him the more I am hating myself and what happen earlier. And answering his every question is really getting on my nerves already, I stand up and walk towards the window and look at the calm and quiet night outside the window

Can we just not talk about this anymore? Sungyeol hyung is sleeping and I’m sure woohyun hyung is also sleeping and I don’t want to disturb anyone. So let’s just drop this hyung.

Myungsoo- then let’s talk in my room

No, I really don’t want to talk at the moment so just drop it

Myungsoo- god dammit sungjong stop making me go in circles! How can we fix this and most especially how can I know what the problem is if you won’t tell or even talk to me?

His voice come out firmer and harsher, you can feel and hear the annoyance lacing in his voice and he also suddenly grab my upper arm and tighten its hold on it, signs that he is really getting agitated and pissed off. I tried removing his gasp on my upper arm but he is just holding on to me real tight and it’s actually to the point that it’s hurting me.

Let go of me myungsoo

Myungsoo- not until we talk. His voice full of seriousness and as firm as his hold on my arm

I SAID LET GO OF ME! DAMMIT

Sungyeol- yah! You two! Do you know what time it is? What is going on in here? And why are you two fighting in the middle of the night anyway?

Myungsoo- don’t in yeol

I look at sungyeol hyung and see him standing near his bed on the other side of the room while his hands are now folded in his chest after ruffling his messy bed hair. Myungsoo didn’t even look at sungyeol hyung while he warn hyung not to interfere us, myungsoo’s eyes focused on me and his eyes you can see that he is really ticked off, sungyeol hyung then approach us and grab myungsoo’s hand that is gripping me real tight I guess he notice that I am trying to take and brush myungsoo’s hold on my upper arm.

Sungyeol- myungsoo let go of sungjong

Myungsoo- I said don’t in sungyeol

Sungyeol- can’t you see you’re hurting sungjong, let go of him now

Myungsoo- sungjong and I have to talk

And I said I don’t want to talk to you right now. I hiss when his grip tighten even more and from the corner of my eye I see that sungyeol hyung’s hand that is holding on to myungsoo’s hand flex and I guess he tighten his hold on myungsoo’s hand also.

Sungyeol- you can talk once you both let some steam off your head, clearly you both are in a position to talk. Go to your room myungsoo it’s better to just sleep this one off first.

Myungsoo finally move his gaze to sungyeol hyung away from me and finally met sungyeol hyung’s eyes despite still gripping on my arms. Myungsoo has his unreadable face on and expressionless face while sungyeol hyung is looking at him with all seriousness, making sure to myungsoo that he is serious at the moment and meant his words as a hyung so we should know better and follow what he is saying.

Sungyeol- myungsoo.

Myungsoo- aisht dammit! Fine if you don’t want to talk then we won’t! Do whatever you want. I don’t give a damn anymore

After that myungsoo then let go of my upper arm and slap sungyeol hyung’s hand off him and went out of the room not forgetting to slam the door close, both sungyeol hyung and I are looking at the now closed door of our room and a few minutes passed sungyeol hyung then release a sigh and face me. He looks at me and silently asking me if I am fine and I just nod at him, this is why I choose to be roommates with him, he may be full of childishness but he knows when to be serious and ready to help me.

Sungyeol- let me see where he gripped you

Hyung I’m fine go back to sleep I’m sorry you have to see that and sorry we disturb your sleep

Sungyeol- let me see where he gripped you first and I will sleep

He was about to pull up the sleeves of the shirt I am wearing when we both suddenly hear a loud bang on the wall and sungyeol hyung and I exchange looks at each other first and he heave a sigh, sungyeol hyung told me to stay and just go to sleep as he go and check on myungsoo. Sigh I must have angered him too much and got to his bad side real bad, well he does hate it when he doesn’t know what the cause of our argument and my sudden change of behavior. He hates it very much when he is clueless of the things that are troubling me.

Everything is messed up and gone haywire just because of this unwanted and unusual feeling and emotion that is eating me up. It has been a while since we had this kind of argument; I thought we were over the misunderstanding and argument phase since we have been together for a long time already but I guess I’m wrong. I heard the door open again and see that sungyeol is already back, I look at him waiting for him to tell me what happen.

What happened hyung? Is he okay?

Sungyeol- he just punch the wall, his hand isn’t injured just red, I already talked to him and told him to just sleep his annoyance off anyway didn’t I told you to sleep sungjong?

I can’t really sleep hyung, especially after all that

Sungyeol- I really don’t want to know what’s behind this argument but just fix this fast okay sungjong? We already have enough things running in our head and you know that whenever you two fight it just doesn’t affect you two it affect the whole group since both of you are both avoiding each other and the tension is too unbearable. So fix this quick.

Ne hyung

Sungyeol- anyway are you feeling alright? Seonho hyung said you aren’t feeling well earlier

I’m fine hyung, you go back to sleep first I’m sorry again for disturbing your sleep

Sungyeol- sigh don’t stay up too late even though we don’t have any schedule tomorrow you should use that to catch some more sleep sungjong-ah arasseo? And let myungsoo be for tonight both of you need to cool down for tonight.

Ne hyung, good night sungyeol hyung

Sungyeol- okay

Didn’t notice when or what time I slept, when I woke up the sun is shining brightly and there’s a few noises coming outside of the room, I guess the others are up. I grab my phone and look at the time and see that it’s already 8:30 am. I put my phone back to my night stand and stand up and stretch my body and went to the bathroom to do my morning ritual, once I look at the mirror I see how horrible I look, bags under my eyes and my skin is kinda dry from the coldness, plus my eyes shows that I have a problem.

Suddenly thoughts of what happened yesterday flash right into my mind especially the heated argument myungsoo and I had. How can I fix it? How should I explain to him why I was acting like that yesterday? I really don’t want to talk about it right now but I also can’t let our argument last really long because like what sungyeol hyung said the whole group gets affected whenever myungsoo and I has a fight. Sigh let’s just see how things will go once we see each other. I then finish doing my morning routine.

When I went out of the room to see woohyun hyung cooking and myungsoo in the living room watching the TV and not even giving me a single look, sungyeol hyung is still sleeping I saw him all bundled up on his blanket. I went to the kitchen and silently greet woohyun hyung a good morning as I took a sit on the kitchen stool, he just hummed at me and continues cooking, he said he is cooking pancakes and will be done in a few seconds.

Woohyun- okay, here’s your breakfast sungjong-ah, myungsoo-ah come here breakfast is ready, ppali lets eat, pancakes are best to eat while it’s hot.

Woohyun hyung then placed the plate full of pancakes on our dining table, woohyun hyung then pulled the chair and sit down and after a few minutes myungsoo joined us and took a sit beside woohyun hyung instead beside me like usual, so now his pissed and doesn’t want to be near me. I acted like nothing is wrong or even showed that having myungsoo ignoring and avoiding me doesn’t hurt even the