A/N: HELLO MY LOVELIES!!! I'M BAACCK!! IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS! WHEE! anyhow this is how it's going to go, I'll upload part one of the story now and part 2 during christmas, it'll be half length of my usual chapters BUUUT I'll also be updating a christmas special side story (well actully I have a series of side stories about their daily lives that I came up with so yea!).

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVERYONE!!!

Lets go~!

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Min Ho’s POV:

  I knew for a fact that our popularity in Taiwan was explosive, it was actually quite obvious, from the 300 people huge crowd that welcomed us at the airport, to the fans that stood in the middle of the road just to watch us eat dinner at a restaurant to the tickets for our fanparty selling out in moments, I knew; but knowing that intellectually and actually feeling it are two completely different things. I still remember Tae Min’s very stunned face as he peeked out of the curtains before the show started at the sea of fans that filled up every single seat in the hall all chanting our names. If it was in Korea, Ki Bum probably would have for still being shocked by such a scene, but here in Taiwan, knowing probably that none of the fans sitting there even speaks the same language as us and not forgetting Jong Hyun’s recent scandal that has pulled our popularity down, all of us were stunned by the support the Taiwanese fans are showing us.

  Even now, as I finish the last line of my rap in Hello, it feels phenomenal to see the fans singing along. As the music finally came to an end, to return the affections of our fans, I quickly cast them a smile. Do you know why idols always have the brightest smiles? We don’t fake them, as what many skeptics think, it’s because the love and support for our fans elicit them from the bottom of our hearts. Just as how if you walked down the street and someone greeted you with a warm smile, you would return the gesture, each and every one of our fans are like a warm greeting, so in return, we must give the fans a smile worth thousands and millions of warm greetings, at least that is what Jinki hyung taught me, and I completely agree with him. Seeing the sea of fans coming together just to support us are the times where I think it’s was worth giving up everything and becoming an idol, to see that your existence has brought happiness to so many people’s lives. Fundamentally, I guess that was why I wanted to become a soccer player too, because in the field, you would have hundreds and millions of supporters cheering you and your team on as you try to score the winning goal, that and of course my love for the sport. In a way, athletes and idols are very similar, we all live off the love of our supporters.

  The lighting changed to focus on the 5 of us now who stood in a row, with Jinki hyung running through some typical thanks and responses to the fans that we give after every performance, and then suddenly, the Chinese emcee said something and the fans, there was a moment of loud murmurs and chaos. The 5 of us exchanged confused looks; neither Young Soo hyung nor Nick hyung mentioned any of this. One by one the fans began to hold up signs that were on faced down their laps for the entire first half of the min-concert. I let my eyes drift across the numerous signs with Korean words written on it and put the various messages together in my head and felt Jong Hyun hyung stiffen next to me while I paled. To my left, I could see color drain from Ki Bum’s face and I knew that Jong Hyun hyung must be feeling raging emotions, conflicting emotions.

  Before us, an entire auditorium of fans was holding up signs that had a cartoonized version of Jong Hyun hyung and Se Kyung nuna that read: Bling Bling Jong Hyun we love you, we’ll support no matter what. Jong Hyun and Se Kyung Forever! <3

Jong Hyun’s POV:

  As I saw the signs go up, seeing my name on all of them and the encouraging smiles of the fans, an overwhelming amount of emotion flooded my system, shock, gratitude, happiness, disbelief... the only way to describe my feelings was that I was touched. A smile crept up to my face while I felt tears slowly begin to well up in my eyes, tears of joy. My fans don’t hate me, they understand, they forgive me for being with…. And then as my eyes travel across the signs that had a cartoon version of me and a beautiful girl, all that happiness and gratitude somehow dissolved into a bittersweet emotion of irony. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the light slip from Ki Bum’s eyes which were quickly covered up by a very fake and forced smile and suddenly, the tears that threatened to fall don’t feel that happy anymore.

  I quickly did a 90 degree bow to hide my changing expressions. I feel guilty towards the fans who have embraced my lies about me and Se Kyung and accepted it so graciously, so selflessly, why did they have to be so forgiving? I’d rather they hate me, for abandoning them, for loving someone else, for lying to them, it’d be so much easier for me then, and all I would have to deal with was hate and not this. I straightened up from my bow and once again saw the accepting and loving eyes of my fans the inconspicuously at Ki Bum and bowed again, this time even lower. I dare not look at their sincere faces, so forgiving, but what pierced my heart even more was Ki Bum who stood there watching the fans accept a position that belonged to him, how must he feel? The guilt that welled up in me doubled. I’m a lying, cheating bastard; please don’t be so nice to me, I don’t deserve all this love and support. I felt my shoulders shake as all the raw emotions threaten to spill along with my tears.

  A steady hand gripped my shoulder and I knew without looking that it was Min Ho, it was a silent reminder, ‘right now you are Bling Bling Jong Hyun, be strong.’ I nodded inwardly at the unspoken encouragement, but even seeing Ki Bum’s shoes as my eyes darted around on the ground raked up gut-wrenching feelings. The fans actually accept Se Kyung, they actually accept this relationship, that is how strong their support for Shinee is. It could have, no should have, been Ki Bum. If the fans love can accept Se Kyung and then they can accept Ki Bum and my love for each other, homoual relationship be damned.

  I tried to suppress the rising guilt as I finally gathered the courage to look up at the fans, a thankful but bittersweet smile on my face. At the back of my head, 5 words kept repeating itself over and over again.

3^rdPerson’s POV:          

  With sheer determination and pure professionalism, Jong Hyun and Ki Bum somehow managed to pull through the rest of the fan party looking as if nothing was wrong; in fact they looked like the day could not get any better. Of course Min Ho knew better, and instinctively, so did Jinki and Yun Ri, which was why as the haggard group piled themselves back into the van, Tae Min found himself subjected to two very venomous death glares when he said, ‘Jong Hyun hyung! Aren’t you glad! Your fans are supporting you!’ Hearing his comment, Ki Bum who was doing something on his phone promptly snapped it shut and turned to look out the window. Seeing his lover’s reaction, Jong Hyun forced a smile on his face and reached over to ruffle Tae Min’s hair. In the midst of the indifferent Nick and Young Soo, bristling Yun Ri and Jinki, an upset diva and a very confused maknae, Min Ho offered the lead singer a wry grin. Looking back and forth between his hyungs, Tae Min felt the urge to bang his head against the car window, or beg god for enlightenment, whichever came first.

  The car trip back to their hotel seemed like a moment of déjà vu, utterly awkward and silent. Tae Min took it upon himself to ponder over the situation. What had he said wrongly? Why is Ki Bum so upset? Why is Jong Hyun acting so weird? Why are Jinki and Yun Ri so mad at him? When Tae Min decided to give up his childhood in exchange for a celebrity career, the 17 year old had not quite expected this. He has never been in a relationship before, much less a homoual one and now after he has somehow come to terms with the fact that two of his hyungs are gay, he has got to figure what how to maneuver in this precarious situation? It was honestly all too much.

    The radio played softly in the background and nestled between Jong Hyun and Ki Bum once again, Yun Ri, tried to break the silence, ‘Ki Bum,’ she began, reaching out to place her hand on her cousin’s shoulder only to be met by a dirty look and Ki Bum slapping her hand away rudely. The slap echoed in the car as Ki Bum’s arm hung guiltily in mid-air. Yun Ri stared back at him unblinking, eyes conveying hurt and disbelief, realizing his actions, Ki Bum quickly reached out to her but only to have her shrink away from his touch. The other occupants in the car shuffled around awkwardly as the two cousins looked away from each other. Thankfully, the car pulled to a stop and as if escaping from something, Ki Bum clambered off and briskly walked into the hotel room before anyone else could. Whilst the others filed out of the car, no one was oblivious to how Yun Ri very slowly and reluctantly dragged herself out of the car, dazed.

  ‘Hi, how were things this morning?’ Nick greeted Young Soo at the hotel café where high tea was being served. ‘Not too bad,’ the manager of Shinee replied while pouring himself a cup of tea, he was never a coffee person. ‘Why are you here so early?’ Young Soo asked, it was 2 hours before Shinee and the crew had to depart for Super Star Avenue’s recording, although he had a few business meetings in the morning, the boys of Shinee had the morning off, which in association meant that Nick should have the morning off as well. ‘To be honest?’ Nick started with a bitter smile as he shifted his gaze to the lift lobby, ‘Yun Ri has the habit of drinking afternoon tea, so I figured that if I waited here long enough I’ll be able to catch her.’ Young Soo nodded thoughtfully, the comment, for some unknown reason, made him feel very uncomfortable, without thinking, he told the man across him, ‘Well you won’t catch her today, after trying to talk to Ki Bum around 5 times this morning and getting either a door slammed in her face or blatantly ignored, she has holed herself up in her room. Maybe you want to go out stretch your legs a little and come back?’

  Nick nodded at the piece of information while Young Soo mentally stuck out his tongue at the lie he just told, whilst Ki Bum did avoid his cousin like plague since the previous night and Yun Ri was rudely turned away by him repeatedly this morning, aside from annoyance, Yun Ri had showed no signs of being upset much less holing herself up in her room, but that was not the point, innately, Young Soo just did not want Nick to catch their temporary photographer. ‘It’s to avoid extra drama,’ Young Soo told himself, although he knew that that was just an excuse.

  On the other hand, upstairs…

Ki Bum’s POV:

  Yun Ri has been following me around like a shadow this morning, even after having me slam the door in her face around three times when she came looking for me and then having me blatantly ignore her existence. So yea, she has pretty much given up on trying to talk to me, sadly that did not mean that she had given up on following me around. Something was bugging me and if she can’t find out what it was then the least she could do was be there for me, her words not mine. Normally I would have told her, I tell her everything, I really do, but with Nick hanging around all the time like a glaring reminder of my selfish actions, I just can’t bring myself to burden her even more. I know I was not handling the situation the right way, but the guilt that’s gnawing at me and the incident at the fan party has translated into a black body of pent up frustrations that I have no idea how to deal with without snapping at someone. Seeing Yun Ri so desperately trying to help me and be there for me just makes me feel worse.

  I increased my pace of walking and almost immediately, I heard Yun Ri’s footsteps increasing in speed as well, the brisk walking became jogging and then turned into full blown running. If any other guests actually saw this scene they would probably wonder what the hell were we doing, but thankfully no one was, seeing as SM had actually booked the entire floor to prevent papprazzi from getting to us. That thought reminded me about my stupid boyfriend and Shin Se Kyung again, causing me to sprint even faster back to my room, existence of Jong Hyun there be damned, where I could at least hide away from Yun Ri, even if for a moment. Trust me, if I could leave the hotel I would, but with the tight schedule and the sea of fans that was stalking us at every, I couldn’t afford to do so.

  I quickly pulled out my key card as the door of my room came into sight, jamming it in quickly, I almost kicked he door open and I was greeted by a sight, I never wished to see.

Min Ho’s POV:

  Jong Hyun hyung and I sat in silence, neither saying a word. Not that I was a man of many words to begin with. Earlier this morning, he had called me to the room that he and Ki Bum shared, I walked in, sat down and since then neither of us have spoken a word. And all of a sudden, Jong Hyun hyung broke down into tears. I bit my lip, not knowing what to do, I have never seen a man cry and the last person I expected to every cry in front of me is currently doing so right next to me. At the same time, it felt wrong to just sit here and do nothing while he cried his eyes out, taking a leap of faith, I decided to use the tactic I used to try on my girlfriend whenever she cried.

  I pulled him into my arms and cradled him against me. ‘Sh…it’s ok.’

  I felt Jong Hyun hyung wrap his arms around me as his sobs got louder, and then the door slammed open. Ki Bum stared at me with wide eyes than at the sobbing Jong Hyun in my arms. Time stood still and neither of us moved, and then.

He ran.  

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TBC...

A/N: Ok guys I know this chapter , I just got out of my mini-hitaus/writer's block. T.T I promise the next one will be nice and fluffy for your white christmas!! >-< Yes Jongkey fluff!! meanwhile, enjoy the festivities!