Rain started tapping on the roof, first a few drops and then a downpour. It only lasted a few minutes but the sound, the beautiful sound of rain hitting the roof was pure heaven. Taeyeon is lying on her bed with a beer on her hand. Thinking deeply when will she able to say the things she want out loud .

 

 “Having you as a best friend is the greatest gift that God can gave me, but it’s not enough for me maybe they are right that I am selfish when it comes to you. It feels like, you know what my heart is saying to you, but you just take it aside because you are not sure what it really is. I’ve been keeping this feelings since forever, and I don’t know when will I have the guts to confess my feelings for you. I even lied to myself for liking him, because every time I saw you in his arm I can’t help but to question myself. Why its always HIM, when will I have the chance to show how much I love you.” I thought to herself, while sighing deeply.

“UGHH I HATE THIS!!” I sit up and throw the empty can beside my bed. “I should sleep soon before she came home and she will be having this questioning face again, that I don’t want to see.” I lay on my bed frustratingly.

 

From freezing night, it turned to scorching day as the sun climbed towards its zenith.

 

Sooyoung came barging on her room. “Taeyeon ah!!! Taeyeon! Come on wake up, breakfast is ready!!!!” Taeyeon slowly opens her eyes, seeing a bright rays of light. “Ughh, okay okay… I’m up no need to shout.  I should lessen my beers, my headhurts.”

Sooyoung throws Taeyeon a questioning look. “Have you been drinking again?” Taeyeon smile innocently and smile. “Hehehe, just a liitle bit.” She said. “Yeah. And I am as small as you.” Soo said sarcasticly.

“SOOYOUNG AHHHH!! TAEYEON AHH!!! COME ON BREAKFAST IS READY!!” Tiffany shouted.

“Damn, that girl really has a speaker on .” Sooyoung thought and gets out of Taeyeon’s room.

Taeyeon goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. Sooyoung sits and secretly grab some hotdogs. “Syoung, return that right now.” Tiffany said sternly.

Taeyeon came to the table and sits beside Syoung not looking at Tiffany.

“Do we have a problem Tae? You’ve been avoiding me this past few days.” Tiffany said while cutting her food.

Taeyeon scoffed. “If you only knew.” Tae said. Tiffany threw a questioning look at Syoung while silently mouthing “What happened?”

Taeyeon suddenly stands up “Thank you for the food,”

“I don’t really know, but she’s been drinking again lately.” Syoung answered.

Tiffany stands up not finishing her food and goes to Taeyeon’s room. She knocked, and opens the door without waiting for her answer.

“What is the problem Kim Taeyeon?” She said seriously.

“Nothing.” I answered while playing on my phone.

“Nothing? ARE YOU REALLY SURE THERE IS NOTHING?” She said angrily.

“YES, THERE IS NOTHING.HAPPY NOW?” I said while looking straight into her eyes.

“I can’t take this anymore” she whispered to herself. “YOU THINK I’LL BE HAPPY? HAPPY BECAUSE YOU ARE AVOIDING ME? ARE YOU F***** SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?” she shouted.

“YES I AM SERIOUS. Why do you wanna know it in the first place Hwang?” I said and I know she hates that kind of tone, but I can’t help it.

“You know what? you.” She hurriedly gets out and slams the door.

“Look what you’ve done Taeyeon.” I punched the pillow next to me. “I need to do it, I need to do it. I can’t always hurt myself.” I chanted on my head.

 

Tiffany goes to her room while silently crying. “What happened to us Taetae? I missed you.” She said to herself.

 

After a few hours, Taeyeon got out of her room and knocks on Tiffany’s room but no one is answering so she entered silently while sitting beside the sleeping girl.

“Why are you so beautiful?” my finger trails her face slowly. “I’m sorry for making you cry but I can’t let my guards down, I can’t let myself like this. I’ve grown to love you  and I know this is wrong, people will be disgusted and hate us if what I am wanting came true.” I kissed her forehead, and whispers “If you only knew how much I love you.”

 

Tears slowly drops, heart silently breaking. Taeyeon stands up and goes to her room.

 

Eyes slowly opened. “Why you didn’t tell me Taeyeon ah, that you’ve been hurting because of me?” I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down. You and I both have to hide on the outside. Where I can't be yours and you can't be mine