*you can click this and hear the song while reading... if you want* :) > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrCuM6u74BI

All the BAP members were rushed to the hospital as soon as they got a call from one of the nurse there. They were supposed to do a pre-recording at the Music Bank but it was halted due to the sudden call. The worry and anxious were written on their faces. The leader, Yongguk tried to remain calm as he walked back and forth in front of the room. Himchan was comporting himself and the youngers, telling them that everything will be fine. It was about 30 minutes then the door being opened, they immediately surrounding the doctor who become familiar with them these past months. The nurses were excused themselves quietly.

“How’s Daehyun, doctor? Is he ok?” Youngjae is the first one asked. He had an enough patient and just wanted to know his best friend’s condition. Dr Hong let out a heavy sigh as he looked at them with a pity.

“I’m… sorry. I did my best but Daehyun… I don’t think he can last longer anymore. His condition was not stable right now. That’s all I can say.”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand. Daehyun was fine these few days. He ate his meal and medicines. He followed the therapy very well. What do you mean, huh?!” Youngjae lunged towards the doctor as he grabbed his white coat collar. His eyes were brimmed with tears which are ready to fall anytime.

Himchan was quick enough to restrain the younger as he hugged Youngjae in order to calm down him. Yongguk still remained calm while Jongup and Junhong also trying to hold back their tears. The leader had prepared his heart to hear such a bad news to them. Dr Hong was putting a regretful face.

“I’m sorry about Youngjae. And thank you, doctor. You’ve did your best for Daehyun. Can we see him now?” Yongguk asked in a soft voice. The doctor nodded as he permits himself from there.

After Dr Hong left, the five of them entered the room quietly. Their hearts were dropped when seeing the lifeless boy on the bed. The wires were everywhere on the boy’s body and the sound of heartbeat machine was heard almost in a painful way, signing that the boy was still breathing weakly. Youngjae couldn’t hold it anymore as a single tear falling on his cheeks. He took Daehyun’s cold hands in his as he cried. The simple movement success in making the weak boy opened his eyes slowly.

“Daehyun…” Himchan called the vocalist in quiet voice.

“Hyung…you’re here. It’s hurt.” Daehyun complained.

“Where is hurt, hmm? I’ll ease for you.” The second oldest asked  

“My heart is hurt. So don’t cry. It’s hurt to see all of you cried because of me.” Daehyun put on a weak smile yet it looked lovely. His eyes were shining like a star, desperately wanting to show that the pain was nothing to him.

“I’m not crying, hyung. Daehyun hyung… Get well soon, neh? We still have many things to do together. You promised to me before.” Junhong wiped off his tears on his face. Jongup was looking anywhere than Daehyun as he wiped his tears too.

“I tried, Junhong-ah. But I’m not that strong.”

“You’re strong, Daehyun. Don’t say that… I never wanted to hear you said like that. Please, I begged to you. Get well soon, okay? Babyz are waiting for you. Like us. We’ll be always waiting for you to be on stage with us. The six of us.” Youngjae tightened his grip on Daehyun’s hand as if trying to give him a support. The vocalist still wore his weak smile as his eyes were staring at them, half-lidded. His thumb was rubbed softly against Youngjae’s.

“Tell me about your day. Don’t you have schedule?” He changed the topic. He just wanted to lift up the heavy atmosphere. Himchan always wanted to cry every time Daehyun were asking to them about their day and how Babyz were doing despite of him being on the hospital bed, lying hopeless. The vocalist always put everything about other people first before him.

“We finished it already. Babyz are missing you badly. They miss your honey voice and pray for you to get well soon.” Yongguk lied about the schedule. Knowing the vocalist, the leader didn’t want Daehyun feel bad about them leaving the schedule because of him.

“Ah… really? Yongguk hyung, can you do me a favor? Please tell them that I really miss them too. How I wish to perform with you guys on the stage again.” Daehyun said.

“You will. I’ll make sure for it, Dae.” Himchan voiced out. It broke his heart when seeing this vulnerable state of the cheerful boy.

Daehyun keeps his smile as he tried to believe the most impossible thing. He was well-known that his body has almost reached the limit but he didn’t want to leave them. Not yet. He has many things to say, many things to do with them. He wanted to express his grateful to s, to tell them how they were precious to him since the day they were debut as singer. He also wanted to ask their fans, Babyz to keep support BAP even he didn’t longer being with them anymore. Daehyun stared longer at each of them through his lidded eyes without words.

“I’m tired. Sing me to sleep, Jae.”

“Okay. I’ll sing your favourite lullaby, hmm? Get rest.” Youngjae was most than welcomed as he begins to sing using his soft voice. It was a habit that the older fondly asking him to sing him to sleep since their trainees day. He said Youngjae’s voice is very soothing and calming to his heart.

They watched the vocalist dozed off to his sleep easily with Youngjae patted his stomach gently while singing the lullaby.

*****

Yongguk get out of the elevator as he walked to Daehyun’s ward while holding two cups of coffee that he bought at the hospital canteen. Before he reach there, he saw Youngjae was staring into nothing at the chair outside of the ward. The younger had a blank expression as Yongguk was wondering what he was thinking of. He decided to approach the younger vocalist and blocking Youngjae’s stare on the ground with the coffee. Youngjae was startled as he lift his eyes to look at the leader in confusion. Yongguk gestured the coffee with his chin, silently asked Youngjae to take it.

“Thanks.” He accepts the coffee but didn’t drink it right away. The leader smiled gently before sitting beside him as he takes a sip of his own coffee.

“What are you thinking of in your little head, hmm?” Yongguk knocked his fist lightly on Youngjae’s head causing the younger formed a weak smile.

“Daehyun.”

The leader stared at the younger vocalist with a pitiful look on his face. He takes a deep breath as he put the coffee on the chair beside him.

“Don’t worry. He will be okay. We knows that he’s strong, right?” Yongguk pulled Youngjae into his embrace as he his hair in comfort. He felt bad for lying to the younger even they already know that Daehyun will leaving them soon.

“I wish what you said is true, hyung. How I wish it is.” Youngjae whispered as he cried silently. He knows that what Yongguk said was completely a lie.

They witnessed how Daehyun was suffered to stay alive despite of the illness he had. Since the day they heard the cruel fact that he being diagnosed by leukemia, Daehyun was still forming a bright smile. But they knows him well when they looked through into his eyes. Pain and hurt were written there. Being a best friend of him, Youngjae knows that the vocalist didn’t know how to share his sadness because Daehyun is a bright and cheerful boy. He never had the feeling of sad before. It was until he asked the vocalist to cry, to let out what he feels, then Daehyun broke down into a silent tears with him hugging the vocalist’s body tightly.

For these past months, Daehyun had being obedient patient to follow all the therapy, eating a proper meal and taking his medicines in time. All of his activities as the BAP members was forced to halt for a while. The company was asking for an understanding from the media and their fans about Daehyun’s condition. It was the beginning of them as five members without the main vocalist but they still continued to visit Daehyun every single day. They won’t fly to other countries as they don’t want to leave him alone at the hospital.

“Jae… If Daehyun had to go, we don’t have right to hold him back. That’s a God’s work. No matter what… we left no choice. We had to let him rest. He’s suffered too long, Jae.” Yongguk advised the younger in a soft voice, like he’s talking with a baby.

“But I don’t want, hyung. I’m not ready yet. I don’t want Daehyun to leave me.” Youngjae shook his head. He closed his eyes as the tears keep falling down on his rosy cheeks.

Yongguk tightened his hug around the younger’s body as he tried to hold his own tears. He is their leader so he needs to be strong for their younger members. Daehyun-ah, hold on a little bit. Hyung is sorry.

*****

Three days had passed but Daehyun’s condition didn’t get any better. His consciousness was slipped in and out from time to time. The frequency of Dr Hong and the nurse visiting the ward become more often as they checked how Daehyun’s health progress. Who knows something will happen by the way the rain was falling down onto the Earth in a sorrowful way.

“Jae…” Daehyun called his best friend weakly. He opened his eyes slowly before looking to Youngjae.

“You’re awake? How’s your sleep?” Youngjae asked while brushing off Daehyun’s bang out of his forehead gently. The vocalist hummed as the answer.

“Don’t you have schedule?”

“No, we don’t.” Youngjae shook his head. His lip curved into a small smile towards Daehyun. Today was the day where they really didn’t have any schedule to go. So, they simply decided to went to the hospital early this morning for their usual visit.

“Jae…” Daehyun unconsciously tightened their linked hands. He looked at Youngjae with his tired eyes.

“Hmm…”

“If I have to go… can you let me…?”

Youngjae’s face changed at the question that he didn’t want to hear the most. He glanced at the heartbeat monitor and for the thousand times, the tears were b in his eyes again. Please... Not now, Dae...

“Why should I…? You promised to not leaving me, right?” The tears were very stubborn as it fell like a rain outside there onto his cheeks. Usually, Daehyun was willing to wipe those tears but now he was too weak to lift his hands. The vocalist gave Youngjae his usual charming smile.

“I’m sorry for breaking my promise to you.” Daehyun inhaled his breath hardly before continued his words. “No matter what… you’re my best friend… forever… right?”

Youngjae nodded while crying in sadness. The other members were started to gather around the hospital bed when they were sensing something bad will happen after glancing towards the heartbeat monitor. It was a sign that today was the day that they have to let go their precious member to the better place. The atmosphere was gloomy with the sound of rain that sounded so heartbreaking.

“Don’t leave me yet… I’m not ready yet, Dae… please…” The younger vocalist begged pathetically. Yongguk cupped his mouth as the tears finally comes out after all this time he held it. Jongup and Junhong were already sobbing at the edge of the bed with Jongup hugged their youngest.

“Youngjae…” Himchan hugged Youngjae’s shoulder before he brought his head into his comfort embrace.

“You have to let him go… Please… For Daehyun’s sake.” He whispered to Youngjae’s ear.

“No… not yet…” The younger shook his head. Yongguk leaned nearing to Daehyun as he whispered slowly. The vocalist was breathing very weak while trying to hold it a little bit more… just for his best friend.

“Daehyun-ah… just go, hmm? Hyung let you go… Thank you for coming into our life. Hyung love you.” Yongguk caressed Daehyun’s hair lovingly. The vocalist only blinked his eyes once while staring at his leader.

“No hyung… Don’t said it!” Youngjae still refused to let his best friend go. He was crying in mess inside Himchan’s embrace. Junhong who was finally calming his tears decided to approach Daehyun.

“Daehyun hyung… you’re my favourite hyung. You know it right? Please watch us from there and take care. For all this time… really really thank you… for everything. Till we meet again… I love you, hyung.” Junhong cried.

Jongup was gathering all of his strength before stepping closer towards the bed. His tears still dropping on his cheeks and trying to give a small smile to his hyung. He could understand what Daehyun mouthed to him which making him cried more. Don’t cry.

“Hyung… Daehyun hyung… I was hoping that you will annoyed me again… Annoy me as much as you want… I don’t care it anymore. But… I guess this is it, hmm? Hyung, I will miss you… Definitely.” Jongup said in a hoarse voice.

“Jongup please… Daehyun won’t leave us yet. No…” Youngjae whimpered in hurt. Yongguk took Himchan’s place by wrapping his strong arms around the crying boy. The second oldest slowly approached Daehyun as he leaned closer to the vocalist. Daehyun’s chest was rise up and down faintly. Himchan takes the younger’s left hand and tightened it.

“Daehyun-ah… My little brother… You had suffer too long. Hyung doesn’t want you to suffer it anymore… Just go peacefully. Take your rest as much as you want, neh? This hyung will miss you badly after this. I love you, Daehyunie…”

Finally, he shed tears because of the sadness filled up inside his heart. Himchan stared at the lifeless boy much longer as it will be the last time he saw the shining eyes belongs to Daehyun. The vocalist shifts his eyes towards his best friend which still refused to let him go. His chest had become very hard to breath it but he didn’t want to leave yet. He wanted Youngjae bid him a proper goodbye.

“Youngjae… let him go, hmm? Daehyun can’t stand it longer. Pity him, Jae.” Yongguk tried to persuade the crying boy inside his embrace. It was seconds after Youngjae returning his best friend’s stare that he finally nodded in sadness.

“Dae… I… I’ll let you go. I don’t want you to hold it any longer. It’s hurt. If it makes you feel better, just… just go peacefully. Remember me up there.” He said between crying.

Daehyun gave them his usual smile, as he mouthed a ‘thank you’ before he took his last breath and his hands become loosen up inside Youngjae and Himchan’s grip. Slowly his eyes who were shining a minute ago, finally fluttered closed.

Forever.