Bang Yongguk didn’t believe in fate, despite the red string on his pinkie that kept tugging these few days.

Every person in the world had a red string that was tied on their pinkie, and the one at the end of the string was, with no doubt, their soulmates. Once you met your mate, you’d become inseparable; your mate would be the half of your breath for the rest of your life until death came and took one of you with it.

However, Yongguk refused to believe it.

For the rest of his life, he never met his father; neither did he know the face. Before going to college, he lived with his mother, a single parent, and they never even talked about her husband, if they were ever married. His mother worked hard so her only son could get a decent life, but then she forgot that life wasn’t only about money and numbers. It caused Yongguk to grow up as a strong man with a stone heart (and head). Ending up being a hardworker like his mother, Yongguk finally could reach his position right now, as a vice president of finance in one of the big companies in Seoul.

Too bad, just like his mother, he ended up not believing that the person at the end of the red string was his destined soulmate.

It was a chilly night when Yongguk left the office building. He should’ve joined his colleagues at dinner with the CEO, celebrating the successful of their project, but he decided to skip it, hiding behind “I still have some works to do” though the actual reason was Yongguk didn’t like being around people if the occasion wasn’t that important.

Thus, after bowing at the CEO who soon disappeared in the fancy car, Yongguk walked to the basement, going to where his car was parked.

But, before he could step forward, his feet were stopped by an appearance of a boy who looked younger than him, with small, pretty face and beautiful sunkissed skin. He kept his eyes on the boy before looking down to his pinkie as he felt the tug again, and when he looked up at the boy once more, he found the smaller male smiling widely.

“Finally I found you,” the boy said happily, “my soulmate!”

Bang Yongguk didn’t believe in a fate that the red string brought, but this boy, who appeared to be the person at the end of his string, seemed eager about it.

 

*

 

“What’s your name again?”

“It’s Daehyun. Jung Daehyun.”

They were sitting at the table in the café near Yongguk’s office; Yongguk pinched the bridge of his nose, leaving his coffee abandoned while Daehyun ate his pasta in delight. From the boy, Yongguk knew that Daehyun was a college student in his second year, taking social science as the course. Quite young, compared to Yongguk’s age, which made Yongguk lose more interest (and the fact that the person at the end of his red string was a boy was quite surprising, since Yongguk wasn’t even sure about his preference).

“Jung Daehyun.”

“Yes, Yongguk?”

“Don’t call me so familiarly.”

“Why?”

“We’re strangers.”

“We’re soulmates!”Daehyun put the fork and raised his right hand, showing the string on his pinkie. “Look, we’re connected!”

Yongguk heaved a long, frustrated sigh. “Listen, kid,” he said. “I don’t care about this red string . You can find someone else to be your forever mate, anyone but me.”

“How could I find someone else if you’re the one who is at the end of my string?”

“Look, I’m not interested in this kind of relationship. I might be the one at the end of your red string, but it doesn’t mean I will be your soulmate—it doesn’t mean I want to be yours. I have right to decline.”

Daehyun’s face fell. Pouting, he looked down at his meal, playing it with the fork, seeming hurt and disappointed. “I’d been waiting for months to meet you, but here I am, getting a rejection…”

This Daehyun guy seemed to intend to make Yongguk feel guilty.

“You can’t take this red string thing seriously. Look, you’re even too naïve to think that everything would go as you please.”

“I wasted my money for the transportation here, but you gave me cold shoulders…”

“You should go home and get a real life, Jung Daehyun.”

“I don’t even have any cash left and you throw me out…”

One more word from Daehyun and Yongguk would sound like the biggest jerk on Earth.

“Alright, stop it. What do you want now? You want me to pay you back? Fine, how much it costs to get here?”

Daehyun’s eyes rounded as Yongguk spoke. “No, no, no!” He shook his head furiously. “I don’t need your money!”

Yongguk exhaled desperately. “Then, what do you want?”

A faint blush dusted Daehyun’s cheeks. “I…” he started, “… I want to stay in your place for a night. My father’d ground me if he found out I wasn’t in my room… besides, we’ll have all night to get to know each other—”

Yongguk got up on his feet and grabbed his car keys before Daehyun could finish his sentence.

“I’ll drive you home.”

 

*

 

In the end, Yongguk didn’t drive Daehyun home the previous night. Well, not really. The boy asked him to drop him before the junction that headed to his house (it was quite far from where Yongguk lived and it made Yongguk feel slightly bad).

“It’s for your own good,” Daehyun said last night. “It’d be bad if someone in my house saw us together. They might tell my father and it’d be a disaster!”

It wasn’t like Yongguk wanted someone to see them together, though, neither did he wanted to waste his time outside his apartment.

“I’ll be leaving, then,” Yongguk said without showing his will to have a small talk.

“Thank you for driving me home. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Yongguk frowned that time, but he shrugged it off. He didn’t bother to give a reply and drove his car away instead.

He thought Daehyun wouldn’t be serious when the boy said he would see the older tomorrow, but it seemed that he meant it. It was when Yongguk thought of having tuna sandwiches and orange juice for his quick lunch when someone knocked on his door. It was his secretary.

“Mr. Bang, someone is looking for you,” the young woman said politely.

“Tell them I’ll be going out for lunch, they can come back later,” Yongguk replied as he pulled off his black suit and threw it carelessly on his seat.

“But, he insists, Sir. He said he doesn’t have much time and it is important.”

Yongguk mentally grunted. Folding the sleeves of his buttoned shirt, he gave in. “Send him in.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Not long after, a round of knocks was heard before the door was opened and a head plopped inside.

Yongguk should’ve anticipated that he would see that familiar wide smile again.

“Hi, Mr. VP!” It was Daehyun. He stepped inside and looked around at Yongguk’s room in awe. “Wow, you have such a nice room.”

“What are you doing here?” The vice president’s voice was cold and unfriendly.

“Meeting my soulmate, of course!” Daehyun grinned. He tugged the sparkling red string and Yongguk could feel it too.

“If you don’t have anything important with you right now, I’m afraid I should leave, Jung Daehyun.” He put emphasis on the boy’s name, signaling that he didn’t want to act warm and lovely.

“Meanie,” Daehyun whined. “Well, I can’t stay here for long. I wanted to have lunch with you, but I have class in an hour. So...” He paused as he pulled something out from his black backpack. “I don’t know if you’ll like this, but I made it. Well, with a little help here and there.”

It was a lunch box. Yongguk fixed his eyes at it when Daehyun put in on his desk, smiling sheepishly. The boy rubbed his nape, looking nervous.

“The look might not be good, but the taste isn’t that bad,” Daehyun said before checking the watch on his wrist. “Oops. Time is running out. I have to go. See you soon, Yongguk!”

With that, Daehyun dashes out of the room, leaving Yongguk and the lunch box alone. He didn’t even give a chance for Yongguk to protest or maybe thank him (the second option was kind of impossible, though).

The vice president lost his words for a moment; what he could do was staring at the box on his desk. Gathering his mind together, he inhaled and took it, deciding to see what the boy made for him. He took the box and opened it, and he found himself trying to figure out what dishes that was.

“Is this kimbap or what...” the VP muttered, taking one of... something that Daehyun made. It didn’t really look like kimbap—should we say it looked like a stepped-on kimbap? Everything was scattered on the box like a mess, but somehow Yongguk pulled his lips into a smile—a very small smile, but it was still a smile, anyway.

Taking a deep breath, he shoved one of the should-have-been-kimbap into his mouth.

Well, it didn’t taste bad.

 

*

 

“You’re staring at your red string.” Himchan, Yongguk’s best friend, said. He couldn’t see Yongguk’s string since it could only be seen by the owner and their soulmates, but Himchan was sure that Yongguk was staring at it, not his pinkie.

Yongguk only muttered incoherently. He seemed lost in his own mind while keeping his eyes on the red string, just like what Himchan said.

“Bbang, maybe you should give that kid a try,” Himchan put a cup of coffee in front of Yongguk (he knew that Yongguk wasn’t a big fan of caffeine, but he always kept trying to shove at least a cup of coffee down to his best friend’s throat). They were in Himchan’s pantry right now, spending their Saturday night together. “You can’t keep denying the feeling you’re having right now.”

“I don’t believe in it. This feeling is probably only euphoria.” the taller from the two said.

Himchan shook his head in disbelieve. Knowing Yongguk for almost his entire life, he knew that Yongguk was this stubborn. However, he knew as well that Yongguk couldn’t be like this. The person that the red string brought to you was your fate, and you couldn’t be able to shrug it off.

In Himchan’s case, everything went so smooth. His parents were a lovey-dovey couple, so he didn’t have a trust issue like what Yongguk had. Even though sometimes his parents had a fight, they could still manage to calm it down. Thus, when Himchan met this girl who was his destined soulmate, he didn’t hesitate.

But, Yongguk grew up with no love. He never saw his father. His mother never showed that she cared. Yongguk was like a robot in a monochromatic life—he only knew black and white, right or wrong. Love, unfortunately, wasn’t right for him.

However, Himchan knew that deep inside Yongguk felt it too. Once you met your red string mate, your heart would slowly turn warm. The feeling automatically came, breaking any boundaries, and in the end you would know that the person was the one, that you destined to each other. Yongguk just needed more time to let it melt his cold-stoned heart.

Oh, how Himchan wanted Yongguk to know that being in love was so amazing. He stared down at his own red string, smiling as a face of this certain girl came up in his head.

“I still believe that you really have to let him come into your life,” Himchan said, half whispering, with his eyes staying on his red string. He exhaled softly before looking up and continuing, “Maybe he’s your turning point, Bbang. Maybe he comes to save you.”

Yongguk scoffed, finally breaking his stare from the string. “Save me from what?”

“From your miserable life.”

 

*

 

Yongguk was an early bird. It was 5 in the Sunday morning, but his alarm had gone off, waking him from his dreamless sleep. Opening his eyes, he sat up and dragged his body to the bathroom, washing his face to make his eyes open completely. He went back to his room after he was sure that he had been fully awake.

Opening his drawer, Yongguk pulled a pair of sweatpants and black hoodie before going to the kitchen. He made a glass of warm water with lemon, already used to the sour flavor on his tongue. He gulped down the lemon water and put the empty glass in the sink, walking out of his apartment afterward to do his morning exercise. It had been his habit for years to jog around the apartment complex before the sun rose.

An hour and half later, Yongguk was back, all sweating. He pulled down his hood that covered almost half of his face, opening it since he felt so hot and sticky. Going to the bathroom, he stripped his clothes layer by layer. He stepped into the cubicle after that, turned the tap on and letting warm water wet his muscular body. He took about half an hour to exit the bathroom, body wrapped in a loose bathrobe, showing some part of the massive tattoo on his chest—he had three so far, one on his chest, one on his bicep, and one on his shoulder blade.

Putting a loose shirt and new and fresh sweatpants, Yongguk prepared for breakfast. He opened his fridge, taking some frozen berries and other ingredients to make a smoothie, but before he could get all the ingredients, his doorbell rang noisily. Yongguk frowned at the sounds, wondering who would possibly come to his place in this early morning as he went to his front door, pushing the button on the intercom.

A face appeared on the small screen and Yongguk grunted. “Jung Daehyun,” he growled lowly, knowing Daehyun could hear him from the speaker. “How could you get here?”

“Just like how I found you, our red string showed me the way!” Daehyun was too cheerful for Yongguk’s liking.

“Go home.”

Daehyun pouted. “My house is far and you know it. At least let me in and rest my first!”

Yongguk sighed; he knew Daehyun would try anything to make Yongguk let him in.

“It’s too early to visit someone. Go home.”

“Oh, come on, let me in! I can cook something for breakfast!”

You even ruined a simple kimbap.

“I missed you. I won’t give up on getting your heart, you know,” Daehyun kept trying. “Open the door, please? Please, Yongguk?”

Yongguk cursed lowly when Daehyun made a sad puppy face. Half-heartedly, he unlocked the door, earning Daehyun’s happy face.

“Morning, Yongguk!” the boy chirped brightly (it was obvious that Daehyun tried hard to act cool even though Yongguk knew that the boy’s eyes landed on his chest, where his tattoo peeked from his loose shirt). “Look at your face. I think you need something refreshing. Do you have fruits? Oranges? I can make juice for you!”

“What do you want, Jung Daehyun? Was I not clear enough when I said I don’t want this relationship?” Yongguk, still being cold, threw himself onto the couch, head leaning back tiredly.

“Was I not clear enough when I said I won’t give up?” Daehyun sat down beside Yongguk. His usually sparkling eyes looked serious for a moment—they were stunning and, god, Yongguk felt like being into those dark orbs—but they turned into two beautiful crescents as he smiled. “You must be hungry. What do you want to eat? I’ll cook it for you!”

Yongguk kept quiet, trying to get a grip on himself before replying in a low voice, “Smoothie—” He mentally cursed, just remembering that he would’ve drunk his healthy smoothie right now, if the boy didn’t suddenly come and make him lose his appetite to have his usual breakfast. “Make me anything but your messed up kimbap.”

Daehyun’s cheeks glowed pinkish color. “It was my first time...” He paused to huff. “Okay. I can’t cook. What I can make is instant ramyun.”

“And you still insisted on making me something?”

“I should give it a try, shouldn’t I? I think it’s better to eat trash that’s made by your precious person than fancy dinner from the restaurant.”

“Are you planning on shoving trash down to my throat this time?”

Daehyun blinked twice before laughing. “Of course not! It was only a metaphor. Geez, you have no sense of humor.”

Yongguk hated to admit, but he liked hearing Daehyun’s laughter... well, kind of.

“I’ve been practicing to make an omelet, though. Give me a chance?” Daehyun continued.

“Just don’t burn my kitchen or you’ll pay for the reparation.”

Daehyun grinned and nodded.

Once again, Yongguk hated to admit, but he felt warm...

... Well, a little.

Thus, Yongguk ended up eating Daehyun’s greasy omelet this morning (Daehyun’s way of cook was dangerous that Yongguk should keep an eye on him or else he would possibly destroy Yongguk’s kitchen).

He wondered why, just like the kimbap, it didn’t taste bad.

 

*

 

It was funny how Yongguk felt easier when Daehyun blabbered about everything.

That boy came again to his office this Monday with another lunch box—”I didn’t cook it. I was late this morning so I asked... uh… someone to make this for me,” he said—and Yongguk let him in, in one condition: Daehyun should go as soon as Yongguk finished eating, whether the lunch break was over or not.

“How about going on a date?” Daehyun asked while watching Yongguk eating. “It’s been a while since I last went to an amusement park, how about going there together this Saturday? I remember there’s this ice cream parlor inside the park and their mint choc chip ice cream is heeeaven~”

Yongguk didn’t answer, but Daehyun didn’t seem to mind it. He kept talking about the date—going to an amusement park, eating ice cream, riding extreme rides, and everything that sounded like a couple activity.

Yongguk didn’t stop him, though. He kept eating, not even trying to finish his lunch sooner. Even though he didn’t give Daehyun a proper response, he never missed any single word that came from Daehyun.

“—after that we can have dinner at a restaurant nearby, or if you don’t want to, we can just go home and cook something. How does it sound?”

Putting the chopsticks down, he took a napkin and wiped his mouth as he finished eating. “I’m done. Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. Now, you’re dismissed.”

The younger rolled his eyes and cleaned up the table (like a good wife, Yongguk couldn’t help but think that way). “Say something about the date,” he said as he stuffed the lunch box into his backpack. “Do you want to go?”

“There will be no date ever, Jung Daehyun.” Yongguk declined sternly. “Now, as what we’ve agreed before, you may leave. Have a good day.”

Daehyun pursed his lips, but not trying to fight. “I’ll come to your apartment again, then, bothering you until you want to kill me.”

“I’ve been wanting to kill you right now if only killing people is legal.”

Daehyun left with annoyed face and Yongguk kept denying that he couldn’t wait to see Daehyun’s face again soon.

 

*

 

Himchan paid a visit that Saturday morning. He was about to go to his girlfriend’s place, picking her for a romantic date on a beach, and he stopped by only to borrow Yongguk’s mats because he couldn’t find his while his girl didn’t even have one, and they agreed that renting it was out of option (rented mats were dirty since many people had used them and no one knew how they were washed; were they really clean or not).

Thus, Yongguk skipped his morning exercise only to find the mats, which he hadn’t used for a long time. It was hard to find forgotten things, but Himchan insisted on using his mats because Yongguk’s must be cleaner than the rented ones.

“Have you found it?” Yongguk heard Himchan asking from the living room.

“Not yet,” he answered, still searching for it in his storage cabinet. “It should be in here... wait.”

Yongguk kept looking for the mats while his mind wandered around. Seeing Himchan and his girlfriend always made him feel weird. Himchan seemed happier every time he talked about her, causing Yongguk to think about how it felt to be in love. Himchan’s eyes always got softer when he looked at his red string, as though he could see his girlfriend’s figure in it. Himchan was never tired to tell him that it wouldn’t harm to let himself loose and fall in love, but Yongguk wasn’t ready.

The day when the red string appeared on his pinkie, Yongguk felt like taking a scissor and cut it (but he didn’t do it because he knew it was useless). The night when Daehyun first came to him, Yongguk felt like running away to a place where Daehyun wouldn’t find him. But, the time Daehyun said that he wouldn’t give up, Yongguk was forced to admit that he was... relieved.

Yongguk dozed off for a moment. Daehyun’s name echoed his mind and it made him scared. Yongguk wasn’t ready to accept his fate. He had composed his life in order and letting Daehyun in would ruin it. No, Yongguk didn’t want to end up like his mother or even worse. He had almost been like her and he didn’t want to be more pathetic than that.

The sound of doorbell interrupted him. He turned around to see Himchan got up to welcome whoever it was from the crack of his bedroom door.

“Bbang, you have a cute guest here!”

Yongguk didn’t bother to ask who since he knew it was his life ruiner (well, not really). “You can tell him to go home, Himchan,” he answered, earning a “How could you?!” from his friend.

Finally getting the mats, Yongguk went outside only to find Himchan talking with Daehyun. He didn’t get what they were talking about, but he was somehow certain that he was the main topic.

“Bang Yongguk, you’re really mean!” Himchan snapped once he saw Yongguk.

“I skipped my routine to get your mats and now you said I’m mean?” Yongguk defended as he dropped the mats on Himchan’s lap. “You should go. Hana is waiting.”

“You should go, too,” Himchan retorted. “How could you turn down this cutie’s wish to go on a date? You can’t do that! You should go and get more life!”

Yongguk shot a glare at Daehyun, which was replied by an innocent grin. Meanwhile, Himchan kept telling him to go and didn’t seem to give up until he got a yes. Yongguk sighed. It was bad that Himchan chose Daehyun’s side instead of his.

“Fine, fine,” Yongguk gave up. “But, it’s just this time, Jung Daehyun. No more date after this.”

“Really? We can go?” Daehyun’s eyes glowed with happiness. He made noisy noises like a high school girl as he threw his body into Yongguk’s arms, hugging the older tightly. “First date!”

Yongguk was taken aback when Daehyun’s warmth spread over his body, heart jumping in a comfortable way, but he quickly shrugged it off. “And the last,” He said as he pushed Daehyun’s head, and the boy pulled back with a wide smile remaining still. “Now excuse me for getting ready.”

“I’ll get going, then,” Himchan got up and patted Daehyun’s head, congratulating him. He then looked at Yongguk and leaned forward to whisper on his best friend’s ear, “You have a sweet cotton candy in your hands, Bbang, so don’t waste it. Daehyun sure wants more.”

Yongguk’s face e shade of red. “Go away, Kim Himchan,” he growled, pushing the laughing Himchan away. It was kind of irritated him when Himchan started with his dirty idea. He watched Himchan until the other disappeared behind his door before turning around and met Daehyun’s eyes.

“Are we really going?”

Yongguk rubbed his forehead, but he still nodded.

Daehyun’s cheeks were pink and Yongguk should convince himself that it wasn’t the reason why his heart beat rapidly.

 

*

 

Yongguk didn’t like amusement parks. The last time he went to the amusement park was in high school, when this girl who had a crush on him dragged him to go on a date, and Yongguk couldn’t decline since the girl asked him in front of people and seemed to cry if he said no. In the end, Yongguk went with the girl to the amusement park without getting amused.

Now, after years had passed, here he was, walking beside the happy Daehyun. The boy looked more cheerful than ever, tongue never stopped the mint choc chip ice cream that Yongguk bought for him (half-heartedly). Meanwhile, Yongguk put a face that had made three kids cry when they looked at him. Two balloons were in his hand; one was baby blue and the other was bright yellow (Daehyun forced him to buy them so he wouldn’t look like a serial killer, but it brought no use because another kid had just cried when he walked past by).

“What’s next? Roller-coaster? Or should we go to the haunted house? Or do you want to take a break first?” Daehyun asked him.

Yongguk felt exhausted that he chose the third option. He quickly walked to a bench nearby, slumping onto the long wooden chair. Daehyun followed after, looking at him with a concerned look.

“Drink?” The boy pulled a bottle out of his backpack.

“Thank you,” the older muttered as he took the bottle from Daehyun’s hand, trying not to notice that Daehyun purposely brushed their fingers together.

“Are you tired?” Daehyun asked again, the ice cream in his hand had disappeared inside his stomach.

“Are you not?” Yongguk wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gave the bottle back to the boy.

“I am, but it was fun,” answered the boy. He looked hesitant, but then he pulled Yongguk’s hand, holding it gently. “Thank you, Yongguk, for willing to go with me. I’m happy.”

Yongguk looked down at their hands. Daehyun’s hand that held his was way smaller than his, and it was so smooth. Yongguk only needed to hold that hand back to make it disappear.

Slowly, warmth spread in his heart. He glanced at Daehyun who now laughed at the elephant-costumed man who was attacked by children—how could Yongguk resist that beautiful smile all this time? It was the first time he learned Daehyun’s figure—his black hair looked so soft, his lips were plump and, god, they looked so kissable, and his smile was something Yongguk could see for a long time without getting bored. Yongguk loved it how Daehyun bronzed skin glistened under the sunbeam and how he wondered how it felt to wrap his arms around the boy’s narrow shoulders, and—

Yongguk blinked. Did he just think about the boy, as though he wanted to own him?

“Yongguk, look! We can get Darth Vader action figure from the shooting game!” Daehyun’s voice cut his thoughts, making him turn his eyes to the said shooting game booth in front of the bench where they were sitting. “Should we try?”

Yongguk couldn’t do anything but let Daehyun drag him to the booth.

 

*

 

“Well... teddy bear isn’t bad, though.”

Yongguk buried his face into his palms. He kind of regretted why he was so bad at shooting games. Yongguk might be the vice president of finance in a famous company; he might be smart and rich, but he didn’t know how to have fun. It was so ashamed when what he could get was only a small, fluffy teddy bear while Daehyun could get the Darth Vader figure, which was the main prize.

“How could you be that good at shooting game?” The VP asked, voice muffled by his both hands. Five bull’s-eyes in a row? Daehyun sure had the skill that Yongguk had never expected.

“I’m used to shooting things...” Daehyun answered, eyes never leaving the action figure in his hands.

“You’re used to shooting?” Yongguk repeated, finding it a bit off.

“Uh... yeah.  Like paintball and other shooting games, I mean.” the boy quickly corrected.

Yongguk sighed as he raised his head and leaned his back against the chair of the café where they were in—Daehyun had a large stomach that he demanded a light meal before they had the real meal outside the amusement park. With wounded pride, he handed the teddy bear to Daehyun. “You can have it,” he said. “I don’t need another useless thing in my apartment.”

Daehyun looked at the plushie, feeling unsure. “But...” He frowned. “If I take it, you won’t get any souvenir from our first date!”

“Did you really think a man like me would happily go home with a stuffed animal in my hand?”

“It doesn’t sound wrong to me.”

“It does sound wrong to me—so wrong.”

Daehyun seemed like thinking for a moment, but then he agreed to take the teddy bear. However, after he took the plushie, he gave Yongguk his action figure. “You take this, then,” he said, “so I won’t feel guilty for taking all the prizes.”

Yongguk cocked his eyebrows. “I thought you liked it.”

“I like you more,” Daehyun grinned, cheeks dusted in pink. “I can’t let your pride get hurt by bringing a cute teddy home. It doesn’t suit you.”

Well, it suits you better, you cute little—Yongguk cleared his throat because his thought made him nervous all of a sudden—evil. You cute little evil.

It was when Yongguk saw Daehyun hugging the teddy bear in such a loving way (and the boy looked too cute that Yongguk felt like fainting from the overwhelming desire of hugging the boy forever) when Yongguk excused himself to go to the public restroom.

He needed to hide for a moment, at least until the red shadow on his face disappeared.

 

*

 

Yongguk exhaled loudly as water splashed on his face. Holding the edge of the sink with both hands, he stared at his reflection in the mirror.

He looked different.

He used to see a long, tired face every time he faced the mirror. He used to see a flat expression with asharp and stern gaze, something that only someone with a monotone and unhappy life would have. However, he saw someone else right now.

The one he saw in the mirror was someone with sharp eyes, yet the gaze wasn’t threatening. He could see his expression getting softer than usual, and he looked... happier. Yongguk wondered why. Was it because of Daehyun? Did the boy bring significant impact to his life? Was the boy his turning point, to finally get a better life, just like what Himchan said?

Is it true that Daehyun and I are connected by the red string?

Sighing once more, he wiped his face before exiting the public restroom, not wanting Daehyun to wait any longer (more likely Yongguk had missed the boy that he couldn’t spend any more time without Daehyun, but he wouldn’t admit it).

However, Yongguk couldn’t find Daehyun at their table. His eyebrows knitted as he threw his gaze all over the place, but Daehyun wasn’t there. “Where the hell is he?” he muttered to himself, feeling worried.

It was when he looked outside the windows glass when he found Daehyun standing not far from the café. Yongguk wanted to approach the boy, but then his eyes caught someone else with Daehyun. Yongguk had never seen the person before, but he had a bad feeling about the man with all black clothes who was talking with Daehyun. They seemed to have an urgent conversation (Yongguk was sure Daehyun’s would’ve still been glued on the chair of the café, waiting for him, if his issue with the stranger man wasn’t urgent).

“Yongguk!” It looked like Daehyung had realized his presence that the boy half-ran approaching him. “Ah, I’m sorry for leaving. That man asked for a direction...”

Yongguk kept his eyes on the black-clothed male, who quickly went out of the spot where he stood before, before turning to Daehyun. “Did you show him the right direction?” he asked, going back to their table—where Daehyun left their teddy bear and Darth Vader figure carelessly. He sat on his chair, exhaling rather loudly. “Don’t make someone lost because of your wrong direction.”

Daehyun jutted his lips as he sat across of Yongguk. “I didn’t make any mistakes, you don’t have to worry about it,” he said, cheeks puffed—cutely, Yongguk added in his mind. “What will we do after this, then? We still have plenty time before dusk, so let’s get on some rides before going home?”

Yongguk stared at Daehyun for a moment before nodding. He made Daehyun wait outside while he was paying for their food and went following the boy afterward.

“What do you want to ride?” Yongguk asked as they walked side by side.

“Will riding carousel hurt your pride?” Daehyun asked back.

“Yes.”

Daehyun cringed at the answer. “Let’s just walk around before deciding, then…” he said. “They start to turn the lights on.”

Yongguk realized that, too. He should admit that the amusement park looked prettier when all the lights were on. It looked so… romantic. Yongguk heaved a soft sigh, not able to understand why he suddenly got so cheesy like this.

“Yongguk,” Daehyun’s voice made Yongguk move his gaze down, eyes meeting Daehyun’s ones. “Can we hold hands?”

It took a second or two to realize that his hand took Daehyun’s smaller ones immediately after the boy asked for it. His heart felt like it would jump from its cage because it beat so fast—too fast—as their fingers linked together; it was like Yongguk finally found a hand that fit his in a perfect way.

Under the sparkling lights of the amusement park, Yongguk could see Daehyun’s face turning into the deepest shade of red that the boy wasn’t even brave to raise his head.Yongguk, himself, could feel his cheeks heating up.

But, he wondered why he felt so comfortable.

“Let’s head home,” Yongguk whispered, yet loud enough to be heard by the boy beside him.

“Y-You—” Daehyun paused for a moment when he found himself stuttering, “—you don’t want to take dinner first?”

“No,” answered the taller male. “Let’s just head home.”

No, Yongguk didn’t think he could stand it if he should spare another moment with Daehyun today.

He was sure he would blow up into rainbow dust because his feeling was too overwhelmed.

 

*

 

Himchan smiled from ear to ear as he listened carefully to Yongguk’s story. Hana was sleeping already and he was in the hotel room balcony, smoking when Yongguk called. Yongguk sounded like a confused high school girl in his opinion, which was quite amusing since it was the first time his best friend acted that way.

Let’s say Himchan had waited for a long time for Yongguk to finally fall in love and earn happiness; he had waited for Yongguk to finally believe that the red string connecting two people forever wasn’t only a mere figment, that it was a real thing, despite what happened with his mother in the past.

“I told you, you should let him in,” White smoke was blown from Himchan’s mouth as he spoke. “It turned out well, right? Daehyun is a nice kid, anyway; I don’t mind you being gay if your mate is him.”

Himchan could hear Yongguk heavily sighing at the end of the other phone. “It’s not about me being gay or what. It’s not like I care,” he said. “You know I’m not into this thing. I’m not into love matters, not now or anytime soon.”

“And why, Bbang? You can’t keep the thought that you’ll end up like your mother. It’s like one of those rare cases! It doesn’t guarantee that you’ll lose Daehyun.”

“It’s not about losing Daehyun. It’s out of order, Himchan. My life is—”

“Yeah, yeah, stop with that crap. I don’t want to hear about how Daehyun ruins your boring, monochromatic life, and you hate it when things don’t go as you please, but,” Himchan’s tone went firm, “you should remember that things don’t always go as you please.”

“… I told him that when I rejected him the first we met.”

“Eat your own , Bbang.”

“You’re not helping at all.”

Himchan chuckled. “I’m not sure that I can help much,” he said, turning around as the door to the balcony opened and Hana stood there, looking at him in a questioning look, and Himchan mouthed Yongguk’s name. Hana nodded, giggling a little as she knew that Yongguk had a first date with a cute guy—not to mention that she seemed more interested than Himchan.

Sitting on Himchan’s lap, her eyes stared at Himchan who leaned forward to peck her on her lips. “Yongguk, don’t be so stubborn and accept him already!” she half-shouted so Yongguk could hear her voice, making Himchan laugh.

“See? Even Hana wants to see you two together,” Himchan said between his laughter, knowing that Yongguk’s face must get red right now. “Don’t be too hard to yourself, Bbang. You need him. Don’t be afraid of anything might come.”

“Who said I’m afraid? It’s not—”

“Bbang, I know you’re too afraid to be in love because you don’t want to end up stuck in such a pathetic life like—I’m so sorry to say this—your mother,” Finally able to stop his laughter, Himchan continued carefully. “Like what I always told you, just try it. You always shove anyone away, even Daehyun, whom you know is the one at the end of your string. Seriously, if you keep like this, you’ll end up more miserable than your mother.”

Yongguk kept quiet and Himchan knew he had hit his guts.

The phone call ended not long after. Hana, who seemed eager a while ago, now looked at her boyfriend worriedly.

“Is he okay?” she asked. “Your face shows that he’s still as hard as a solid rock.”

“You know him,” Himchan shrugged and wrapped his arms around her slim waist. “No one can change his mind; he should find the way out himself.”

Himchan knew that he couldn’t do anything to make Yongguk open his eyes and see the colors around his black and white world. When Daehyun finally came with colorful dust in his hands, Himchan could only hope that Yongguk would give the boy a chance to paint his life.

 

*

 

Lying on his comfortable bed, Yongguk couldn’t close his eyes. He felt terribly tired to the point he didn’t even feel sleepy. His brain kept repeating everything that happened today: Daehyun’s eyes, Daehyun’s smile, Daehyun’s flushed cheeks, Daehyun’s this, Daehyun’s that. It was amazing how Daehyun dominated his mind—too amazing that Yongguk started getting scared.

There was a war in his heart between his ego and what he really wanted. All this time he never stopped doubting the red string, feeling burdened when the string of fate finally appeared on his finger. When Daehyun first appeared right before his eyes, he knew that his life wouldn’t be the same. Daehyun was like an earthquake that shook his orderly world, putting things in the wrong places, making him confused.

Himchan was right, Yongguk was scared.

Raising his hand, his eyes locked on the red string that glowed under the minimum lights of his room.

After all this time doubting the fate that the red string brought, after being the sole witness of how someone’s world shattered under the name of the red string, Yongguk didn’t have faith in it anymore.

The time Daehyun came into his life was the time that he knew he would fall.

Yongguk wasn’t ready for separation.

 

*

 

It was weird not to be bothered by Daehyun after his morning exercise. Yongguk glanced at the clock on the pantry wall, knitting his head that it was usually time for Daehyun to abuse his doorbell. But, there was no sign of Daehyun’s presence. His apartment was still quiet; the only thing he could hear was soft noises from the TV in the living room.

Yongguk started thinking about any possibilities of why Daehyun didn’t show up. His mind went back to the beginning of this week, and he didn’t find anything wrong. Daehyun came to his office as usual—he now remembered the boy’s schedule: Monday was when Daehyun got free time because he only had two classes in the morning, so he could spend his lunch time with Yongguk, Tuesday and Wednesday were busy days, so the boy couldn’t come (if Yongguk lucky, he would get a box of lunch that Daehyun sent through the receptionist on the ground floor), Thursday was the day when Daehyun could only drop by because his class would start soon after lunch break, and Daehyun didn’t have any classes on Friday, so he could laze around in Yongguk’s room, sometimes he would roam around the office and end up eating in the cafeteria while waiting for Yongguk to finish working—looking all great even when he was driven home (not really home; he never let Yongguk see his house).

Then, why did he not come today? Yongguk grabbed his phone on the nightstand, scrolling to search for Daehyun’s number only to be hit by the fact that they never traded numbers. Yongguk growled—even if he had the boy’s number, why should he contact him? Wasn’t it what he wanted all this time, for the boy to stop intruding his lovely and peaceful Saturday morning?

Yes, this was what he wanted, for Daehyun not to come and ruin the order of his life.

Going to his pantry, he prepared to make his long forgotten smoothie, which he soon drank in no delight.

Oh, how Yongguk missed Daehyun’s greasy omelet.

 

*

 

It was on the next week, in Friday night, when Daehyun finally appeared. Yongguk was secretly worried that the boy didn’t even show up for a second, and when the boy came in front of his door with his sheepish smile, Yongguk was struggling not to hug the boy tightly.

“I missed you,” Daehyun said with cheeks reddening. “I know you really want to scold me for coming to your place this late, but I missed you I couldn’t help it.”

Yes, Yongguk wanted to scold him, but not because Daehyun came in such an odd hour; it was because he didn’t even contact Yongguk for almost a week, making the older not able to stop thinking about bad things that might happen to the boy.

“You shouldn’t have come here in this hour. It’s dangerous to be outside alone, even for a man,” Yongguk acted like he didn’t give a of Daehyun’s previous disappearance.

Sitting on the couch, Daehyun rolled his eyes. “I told you I missed you,” he said. “I couldn’t wait for tomorrow to see you.”

Yongguk placed himself beside Daehyun, knees brushing against the boy’s. He wanted to tell Daehyun that he felt the same, maybe his feeling even greater, but he refused. He had decided to deny any feelings related to Daehyun, forgetting the red string that connected them, so he would get his usual life back; the life that he had gone through for the rest of his life, his comfort zone.

“It’s been late. Does your father know you’re here?” Yongguk asked and Daehyun shook his head, causing Yongguk to sigh. “I’ll drive you home. Come on.”

Yongguk rose to his feet, but Daehyun held his wrist before he could go to get his car keys.

“No, please, no,” the boy plead. “Let me stay for a night here. Please.”

“I can’t let someone who is still living with their parents to stay over without permission,” Yongguk kept his stern face. “Moreover, I don’t give you—or anyone else—permission to stay with me. I don’t like it if someone lingers around my place. You should go home.”

“Please,” Daehyun stared at Yongguk with his puppy eyes. “Yongguk, please?”

No. Not that face.

Yongguk grunted. “Fine,” He finally gave in, “but just for a night. You should go home tomorrow.”

Daehyun beamed a smile and nodded eagerly. “Let’s do something together, then! How about movie marathon? I always do it in my free time.”

The eldest sighed. “Whatever you want, Jung Daehyun.”

 

*

 

Watching a romantic movie was a bad idea.

It felt really awkward to watch such a movie, especially when it contained this so-called romantic making out scene. Glancing at the boy, Yongguk could see Daehyun’s Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped, eyes locking on the TV screen, watching how the main role in the movie kissed her lover passionately.

Yongguk didn’t even realize that he ended up staring at Daehyun along the movie until Daehyun turned his head to face him.

“Why are you staring at me?” the boy asked.

“What?” Yongguk was sure that his face looked dumb right now.

“You’re staring at me,” Daehyun repeated. “Is there something on my face?”

“… Nothing.”

The boy tilted his head slightly before shrugging and going back to the movie. “How could they still kiss like that…” he muttered, focusing completely on the scene.

But, it wasn’t easy for Yongguk to watch the rest of the movie since his head played another movie starring Daehyun and him, which contained soft and slow kissing scene. Yongguk felt the heat creeping on his cheeks because he couldn’t cut his thoughts.

Daehyun was so close that he only needed to reach and the boy would be in his arms. He didn’t need much effort to kiss Daehyun’s plump lips, melting them with his warmth. He only needed to pull Daehyun and they could do anything they had desired all the time.

“Yongguk,” Daehyun called with a voice lower than usual.

“Hmm?”

Yongguk eyed Daehyun as the boy turned to him once again, one hand on Yongguk’s thigh. “Can we kiss…?” he asked, cheeks reddening.

It was how their lips met.

Daehyun’s lips were soft and supple, sweet like caramel apples. They kissed slowly—Yongguk led the boy to keep up with his pace. He didn’t know how Daehyun could end up straddling on his lap, not that he minded it, though. He placed his both hands on the boy’s slender waist, having no idea that it would feel fit in his hands.

Yongguk loved the small noises Daehyun made while they were kissing. Yongguk loved how Daehyun’s hand rubbed his nape while the other caressed his cheek. Yongguk loved it when Daehyun gasped softly every time Yongguk his lower lip teasingly. Yongguk loved it—he loved it all.

Pushing the boy onto the couch, Yongguk caged Daehyun’s body with his, feeling content that Daehyun looked so small underneath him. He crashed their lips back together as he slipped one hand under Daehyun’s shirt, tickling the soft skin of Daehyun’s stomach.

“Yongguk,” Daehyun muttered between their kiss, “Yongguk. I love you.”

Daehyun didn’t know that he should never have said that.

Yongguk stopped all of a sudden. He retreated and sat on the other side of the couch, causing Daehyun to get confused.

“Yongguk…?” the boy called his name warily. “Is something wrong?”

“No… Daehyun, no,” Yongguk’s voice sounded frustrated; he bent down, hiding his face on his palms. “I can’t. I can’t.”

Yongguk hated it when his childhood memories rushed into his mind, hitting his guts. The image of his mother crying all night, when she told him that there was no such thing as love, when she regretted having the red string on his finger; the image of how miserable her life after her should-have-been mate left her, the fact that she brought her only son along to live such a monotone life—everything came back to his head, pushing the desire of being with Daehyun.

It was funny when you loved someone so much that you were afraid to be with them because you knew that you might lose them and you would live in a pathetic world for the rest of your life.

“Yongguk, are you—are you okay…?” He could feel Daehyun’s hand on his shoulder, feeling so soft and warm, but he shrugged it away.

“Go to sleep. You can use my room,” Yongguk said as he got up and walked to his bedroom, taking a pillow and new blanket from the drawer before going back. “I’ll sleep here.”

He couldn’t deny that his heart clenched painfully when he saw Daehyun’s hurt expression. The boy seemed to lose his words that he could only stare. Daehyun followed what he said, though, going to his bedroom, leaving him alone in the living room.

So, there was Yongguk, lying on the couch, unable to sleep because every time he closed his eyes, he could see the stars dead on Daehyun’s eyes.

It was the next day when Yongguk found his bedroom empty. The boy had gone.

It was the next week and two weeks later, and three weeks later, and even the next three months when Daehyun never showed up, and Yongguk knew everything was over.

 

*

 

Let’s make a bet.

Daehyun’s life wasn’t as ordinary as what people around him could see. Having a father as the leader of a large crime organized syndicate, he had taught to protect himself. Enemies were everywhere, especially since his father became the leader and changed the way they worked—he tried to suppress their activities as harmless as it could be, that soon presented a contradiction among the other clans.

“Protect what you love,” his father said when he was a kid, right after his mother passed away because of cancer. “I’d protected your mother until she breathed her last breath, so now what I can do is protect our clan and homeland. You, my son, still have many things that you can have. You will find someone you love, the one at the end of your red string, and you must protect them.”

Growing older and older, Daehyun slowly realized what kind of life his father lived. Even though his father never let him be in danger, he knew his life wouldn’t be that easy. He slowly found out why his father trained him to master martial arts—he was even trained to use gun and knife when he was fifteen. Life was cruel around him, and sooner or later he would replace his father’s position as the leader, thus he should know what to do to keep safe.

He was twenty when the red string appeared. He had been in a relationship for a couple times (thus he knew that he wasn’t into girls—he had told his father about this, causing the old man to be angry and disappointed at first, but he could accept it in the end), but none of them last long since Daehyun knew they weren’t meant to be together. That was why he was so eager to meet his destined mate once he saw the red string on his pinkie. It took him longer to finally meet Yongguk since his father said the situation nowadays wasn’t good, but it was worth a wait.

However, Yongguk wasn’t easy to be reached. Daehyun had never known that there would be someone who didn’t believe in the fate that was brought by the red string. His father taught him not to let go of someone he loved, but the thing was Daehyun couldn’t even get a grip on Yongguk’s heart.

Days with Yongguk made him know that he might lose the older without having a chance to be with him. Yongguk built a strong wall around him, not letting anyone come inside. It was frustrating and Daehyun was amazed that he hadn’t given up yet. He was happy, he really was, when Yongguk sometimes loosened up, but he felt like crying when once again Yongguk slammed the door to his heart right behind his eyes.

The night Daehyun last came to Yongguk’s place, Daehyun made a bet. His clan was in a precarious situation. His father was sick and it seemed he wouldn’t make it more than two years. Daehyun was young and, even though he had seen by his own eyes how his father worked, his father didn’t want anyone else to be his mentor aside from himself. He wanted Daehyun to replace him while he was still alive, so he could guide his son.

The day Daehyun met Yongguk, he almost refused to be the next leader. He wanted to live a normal life with Yongguk, so Yongguk wouldn’t be in danger. He didn’t even tell Yongguk about who he really was because he wanted Yongguk to treat him like an ordinary kid (he still could feel the panic attack when Yongguk caught him talking to his bodyguard in the amusement park). His father might be really mad at him for throwing his clan away, but he should make a decision to protect the one he loved.

However, the night Daehyun last came to Yongguk’s place, the time Yongguk rejected him was the time when he knew he should give up.

Daehyun lost his bet and now there he was, with a black suit and buttoned-up shirt under it, and a tattoo of the clan symbol creeping up the right side of his neck, he stood in front of his clan with his father next to him, accepting his position of the 7^th generation of Jung Clan’s leader.

 

*

 

His mother’s house was big and lonely. It was her birthday today, the day when Yongguk would come and make a small celebration, only the two of them.

It had been a year since they last met. Yongguk grew busier every time to the point he couldn’t come as often as he used to, and what they could do was only talk on the phone once in a while. Thus, Yongguk felt awkward to meet his mother, yet he didn’t have any choices.

“Happy birthday, Mother,” Yongguk said, kissing his mother’s cheek before giving her a bouquet of lilies, her favorite flowers.

“Thank you, son,” she replied, sighing happily as she smelled the scent of the flowers. “Ah, lilies. I always love them.”

Yongguk made a small smile as he took a seat on the chair in his mother’s balcony. “How are you?” he asked. “You look… happier than what I could remember.”

She smiled back at him, pouring warm chamomile tea into his cup. “I told you that I opened a flower shop last year, right?” she said. “People seem to like it and I’m happy to see them buying my flowers.”

Yongguk nodded. Yes, he remembered that she told him she was tired working at the office and wanting to be a florist. Yongguk knew she loved flowers and he had nothing against it. The flower shop brought a good effect to his mother and he was relieved to know it.

“How about you, Yongguk? Is everything okay?” It was her turn to ask. “I keep thinking about this thing nowadays… have you found your mate yet? You never told me about it. The red string, I mean.”

Yongguk raised his eyebrows. After his mother told him that the red string was a mere fantasy years ago, it was the first time she brought it back again.

“I thought it was a sensitive topic,” Yongguk answered in a low voice. “You always got mad when I talked about it when I was a kid.”

“Did I?” His mother chuckled, eyes keeping on the brownish surface of her tea. “Yongguk… I made a mistake. I should’ve told you this long ago… but I did make a mistake.”

Yongguk shifted on his seat uncomfortably, but he still acted like he didn’t feel anxious. “What mistake, Mother?”

“It’s about your father… something I kept for myself for a long time.”

It was how Yongguk knew that his father didn’t really leave his family. He kept the thoughts of his father was a jerk who didn’t care about his family that he left his wife to be a single parent all the time, but the truth was it was his mother who gave up.

They were in love that they didn’t care of everything when they made love—their first and last . Yongguk’s mother was twenty that time, still young and lost, coming from an average family while his father was her senior in college with a wealthy family as his background, and, unfortunately, when they found out that she was pregnant, both families got really mad. Yongguk’s father’s family didn’t want to have a daughter-in-law who came from an average family, and Yongguk’s mother’s family felt like their pride was hurt by the rejection.

Too bad, Yongguk’s mother felt like her pride was hurt as well. She chose her family, thus she gave up. Even though Yongguk’s father insisted on staying with her, marrying her, she refused. Her pride was everything and even the red string couldn’t change it.

Her pride made her work harder to get a better life for her son. Her pride made her gain wealth. Her pride made people respect her. But, she didn’t realize that it was her pride that made her feel miserable. It was her pride that made Yongguk grow up as a man who didn’t know how it felt to love and to be loved.

“The red string shows you the way. It brings your destined person to your life, yet it still gives you a choice, whether you want to be with them or you want to let go. I made a mistake and even though I’ve been able to overcome it, it doesn’t change the past. So, I hope you won’t make a mistake,” She reached Yongguk’s hand, holding it gently, as she spoke. “Don’t let go what’s precious to you.”

For his whole life, Yongguk saw his mother as a cold woman, who never showed affection, but today, he finally saw her as the warmest mother he had ever met.

 

*

 

“So, your soulmate is a boy?”

“A kid. He’s ten years younger than me.”

It was still a bit awkward to talk about Daehyun to someone aside from Himchan (and Hana), but Yongguk thought his mother deserved to know that she wouldn’t see a beautiful girl standing by his son’s side. Fortunately, her mother could accept it—she was so calm when Yongguk told her about it, as though having a gay son didn’t matter to her.

“Ah, young boy. He’s at the age where I met your father back then,” she said. Yongguk was surprised that now she could talk about his father freely.

“He’s still a kid. He acts like a kid,” Yongguk mumbled.

“But, you love him. I can see it in your eyes,” Yongguk’s mother continued. “Then, why did you make him leave?”

Yongguk crossed his arms in front of his chest as he leaned into the seat. “I don’t know. My ego, maybe. He’s so young and I don’t know if I can handle him, and…” He sighed. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid to lose him like you lost Father… and end up living my life miserably.”

She smiled understandingly, guilt coming across her eyes as she knew that it was part of her fault. “Well, now you know the truth, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Her tone was soft and Yongguk loved it. “You should meet him and say you’ve made a big mistake. Don’t let go, Yongguk.”

It was almost six months after Daehyun left and Yongguk knew it was his turn to follow the red string, finding his beloved one.

 

*

 

Life was funny. Sometimes it was unfair, but right now, Yongguk found it funny. It seemed that universe wanted to make a cruel joke with him as the subject, because what he was seeing in front of his eyes now was cruel and… somehow funny.

Yongguk had driven far, following where the red thread would lead him, and it brought him to a dirty alley, which location was quite far even from Daehyun’s house. Yongguk was confused, not knowing why the string brought him here—what did Daehyun do in such a shabby place? Shouldn’t he have been in college, studying? However, Yongguk had decided to follow the string, and that was what he did.

But, life was funny. Sometimes its jokes weren’t even funny, but right now it had managed to make Yongguk want to laugh until he cried.

Yongguk had seen a couple scenes of two gangs meeting in gangster movies, but witnessing it with his own eyes was something new. In normal condition, he wouldn’t even spare a look, but how could he care less if Daehyun was there, with a black suit and shirt, looking all fierce as he seemed to lead the people behind him? It looked like he was talking to the other leader of the clan, negotiating something.

Yongguk’s eyes rounded as someone hit Daehyun on the face. He was about to run and punch the one who hurt Daehyun to death (he knew a little bit of martial arts and he was physically strong, so he thought he could give some help), but the crowds were faster than him. People behind Daehyun had thrown themselves forward, fighting those who appeared to be their enemies.

Everything turned into chaos after that. There were guns, knives, and every dangerous thing, and how Yongguk wanted to go there and drag Daehyun to somewhere safe.

But, Daehyun’s movement was stunning. Yongguk froze on his spot, eyes watching how Daehyun calmly and smoothly beat anyone in front of him. It was obvious that he had been trained for years—he didn’t even use any weapons to defeat them.

Yongguk didn’t know how long he had been here, but when Daehyun turned around and their eyes met, he was like brought back to the place where he was standing, realizing that the fight was over and Daehyun’s side was the winner.

Meanwhile, Daehyun looked shocked, very shocked, when he saw the older; his powerful figure was gone in a second. He more likely looked like a scared-y kitten when Yongguk walked toward him. They were standing face to face right now, and Daehyun seemed to be soon crying.

“I can quite get a grip on this situation—about who you really are and what did you do when we were apart,” Yongguk started, thankful that he could still control his tone, “but maybe you want to explain something to me? About why you left me without warning, for example.”

“I-I—” Daehyun stuttered. “I can—I can explain, but not here. You—you shouldn’t have been here, you know, it’s dangerous, and—”

“My car is parked around here. Mind to talk there?”

“W-Wait, I—” Daehyun whined as he turned his heels and went to one of his people. He pulled out a gun and a knife from under his suit and threw them—literally threw them—to his man before half-running back to Yongguk. “L-Let’s go?”

Grabbing Daehyun’s hand, Yongguk dragged him to his car. He unlocked the vehicle and shoved Daehyun into the passenger seat before he slid himself behind the steering wheel.

“I’ve never expected this,” said the older, eyeing Daehyun like an eagle watching its prey. “I thought you were only an ordinary college student.”

“I was!” Daehyun quickly said. “I-I… it’s my father’s will. He’s the former leader of our clan, Jung Clan if you ever heard of us. He’s sick and he doesn’t know how long he can survive, so before he dies, he wanted to see me as the leader, so he could be my mentor. He doesn’t believe anyone…”

“Jung Clan,” Yongguk exhaled softly. Yes, he had ever heard of it before. The name appeared on the newspaper a couple of times, enough for him to know that it was a large crime syndicate. “So, you’re the leader now? You led those people to fight?”

“It’s not like that! We didn’t want to fight!” Daehyun panicked. “I was only strolling in this area. This is our territory and there’s time when I want to walk around to make sure everything is under control. I just… I don’t believe people, you know… I want to see it by myself, that my territory is safe. Then there were they, trying to make any trouble with me. I couldn’t fight in the crowds of civilians, so I brought them here, so no one would get hurt.”

“But, you got hurt,” Yongguk swore Daehyun’s face were red as juicy apples when he touched the boy’s bruised cheek. “They hurt you.”

“I-It’s nothing… I’d gotten worse during my training days,” Daehyun chuckled nervously, yet he raised his hand to touch Yongguk’s. “Yongguk…”

“Hmm?”

Daehyun looked down, biting his lower lip before he continued, “Do you… do you hate me? Are you afraid of me?”

“Why do you think so?”

“Because of my clan… I’m part of it. I’m the leader of a crime organization.”

“You’re just a little kid to me,” Yongguk’s hand moved down to where the clan symbol was carved on Daehyun’s skin. “You’re nothing but a kitten, Jung Daehyun.”

“What kind of kitten beats many people in minimum movements, Yongguk?” Daehyun’s lips tugged into a small smile. “I can kill you with my bare hands right now.”

“Hmm, really?” Leaning closer, Yongguk kissed the bruise on Daehyun’s cheek. “Can you really kill me now?”

Daehyun’s breath hitched when Yongguk bent to kiss the tattoo on his neck. “I think you’re the one who will kill me only with your lips right now.”

Yongguk laughed lightly. “You’re just a kitten that will go dying only by a tease, I’m telling you,” he said as he brought Daehyun’s smaller frame into his arms. “And, you know, I don’t think I will let my kitten wandering around in danger without me.”

They fell into silence. Yongguk tightened the hug, but Daehyun gently pushed him away.

“But, Yongguk…” he started, “you can be in danger too if you’re with me. Those people won’t be the last who will attack me. If they know we’re together, they will try to hurt you as well, and I don’t want that to happen! I’d better be separated from you…”

“Is that the reason why you suddenly disappeared?”

Daehyun looked down as he chewed his lower lip and nodded. “I can’t put you in danger. You’re too precious to me,” he replied with a low voice. “I-I was about to leave my clan that night we last met, if you didn’t reject me, so we could have a normal life, just like what other people have…”

“But I did, thus you gave up on me and chose your clan?”

Daehyun nodded again, feeling bad for giving up on someone he loved. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. The situation now… my clan…” His voice got lower and lower as he spoke, “… I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. It’d be so selfish of me if I kept you by my side, yet I couldn’t keep you safe…”

Yongguk kept his eyes on Daehyun, fingers curling below the boy’s chin before tilting the head up. “I’m not here for rejection, Jung Daehyun,” he said. “Moreover, can you stand still without me?”

Daehyun chuckled bitterly. “You’re so full of yourself, Bang Yongguk. I—”

“—I can’t stand still without you,” Yongguk cut. “Say I’m so full of myself, but the truth is I’m too afraid to lose you.”

Daehyun’s eyes rounded, face getting even redder.

“So, by all means, you’re not allowed to reject me.”

It looked like the Jung Clan leader would faint in overwhelming feeling if Yongguk kept on going.

 

*

 

Yongguk was awake when the shine of afternoon sun came through the crack of his curtain. He shifted slightly, only to find Daehyun’s head on his bare chest. The boy was still sleeping soundly; maybe tired after their hot session once they arrived in Yongguk’s apartment. Yongguk smiled as he the soft strands gently. He kept caressing Daehyun’s head until the younger mumbled incoherently, signaling that he was awake as well.

“Hey, little fella,” Yongguk said when Daehyun looked up to him.

“Hey, big guy,” Daehyun replied sleepily. He moved to put his head on the pillow, back facing Yongguk.

“Do you want to sleep a little more before dinner?” Spooning the smaller male, Yongguk buried his nose on the junction of Daehyun’s neck and shoulder.

“Can we skip dinner and keep snuggling?” Daehyun turned around and shifted closer, pressing their bodies together.

Yongguk chuckled as he kissed the crown of Daehyun’s head deeply. “Who knows the leader of Jung Clan is this cute?”

“I’m nothing but a kitten, someone said,” said the boy. “I’m sorry for being cute. I’m just a kitten.”

“My kitten,” Yongguk smiled. “I love you, Jung Daehyun.”

“I love you too, Bang Yongguk.”

Bang Yongguk didn’t believe in fate in the beginning, but he couldn’t resist the one whom the fate brought to him.

Now he didn’t have any choices but to believe that the red string had tied him and Daehyun together.

 

*

 

“My father wants to meet you. I think he wants to know how strong you are to stay by my side.”

“As long as he doesn’t ask me to replace your position, then nothing’s wrong.”

“Who knows? Your personality suits the position, let alone your scary appearance.”

Yongguk cocked one of his eyebrows.

Daehyun grinned.

“I don’t mind you being the next leader, you know.”

Yongguk sighed.

“No. Leading you in bed is enough.”