Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Length: One-shot
Word Count: 6, 486
Warnings: mentions of cheating, boyxboy, unbeta-ed self-beta

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The air is cool and crisp. Outside, green leaves are slowly turning yellow orange; others something akin to the color of copper, trees were swaying gently against the wind while the clouds were forming in the sky, gloomy gray— a reminder that autumn is just around the corner.

Yunhee wrapped her cashmere coat over her body, feeling a little warmer against the cold from where she was standing outside. She can hear the distinct voices of her friends inside the house, laughing at a joke she’s sure her cousin, Chanyeol had cracked in the middle of a conversation. The house, she had to admit, was brilliant. Redwood furniture, a silver screen door, flower carvings along the pillars of the stairs going down in the veranda where she was leaning over, and of course, the bushes of red roses that are adorning the sides of the front steps made the house look beautiful and serene. Baekhyun has a very brilliant taste in decorating his new home with Soeun, his wife.

The two had just recently gotten married— in which, unfortunately Yunhee wasn’t able to attend— and recently came back from their honeymoon in France. Baekhyun, giving this house as gift to his lovely wife had promised to invite them over to check out their new home and two weeks later, here they all are— old friends catching up with life and about.

“There you are” a voice spoke not far behind her, the silver screen door swung open and a very pregnant woman stepped outside with her in the veranda.

“Najeong eonni.” Yunhee smiles and walked towards the other. She held out her hand to the woman and gently guided her to one of the rosewood chairs for her to sit down.

“All right there?” she asks, sitting beside her. Najeong gave her a single nod, her hand automatically reaching out to her bump, rubbing it in circles.

“This little human wanted some cool air, I feel hot inside.”

“Where’s Yeol?” she couldn’t help but ask. There was never a time she couldn’t see the two together apart as the couple looked like glue had stuck them together— not that they all mind.

“Oh, he’s fetching me some water” the older woman sniffs a little, “what are you doing here anyway? You’re missing a lot of things and some catching up, y’know.”

Yunhee just shrugged but didn’t answer. The house was ventilated enough and pleasant inside but she liked the air outside. She would loved to be with her friends, she really did, but she didn’t feel like mingling with everyone just yet— it just feels a bit different for her. Things weren’t as simple now as they were in college, or in the last year of middle school, when the group had first met. Yunhee used to be a loner type and had only clung onto Chanyeol like a lost puppy but when he had introduced her to his friends, she began opening up to them. She became one of the boys and when they all went to college, she began making girl friends for herself, Najeong and Soeun, introducing them to Chanyeol’s friends which of course, not only expanding their circle but appeared to be a matchmaker as well, especially to her cousin and her best friend.

She looked at Najeong. The older woman was radiant due to pregnancy. She looked happy and satiated while her cheeks are full and pinkish, baby bump big and round and it was beautiful. It suited her. A pregnant Najeong is beautiful, she almost envied her.

“Are you guys excited?” she couldn’t help but blurt out. Najeong turned to look at her with a wide smile and nodded.

“We are. I mean, this will be our first baby two years after getting married. Honestly, I’m still thrilled to the idea that I will finally become a mother in just a couple of months. Chanyeol is more nervous than me it’s so cute” the two girls giggled.

“I’m sure you and Chanyeol will be great parents. You will be a fantastic mum. Chanyeol will be a great dad. The baby will be so lucky to have you both.”

Najeong took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you, Yunhee. You’ll be a great godmother towards our baby too.”

“Hey ladies” Chanyeol’s deep voice almost echoed around the veranda, the women looking up when he towered them with his height as he hand the glass of ice-chilled water towards her wife.

“Thank you, yeobo” Najeong smiles before taking a sip.

“What’re you doing here, Yunhee?” her cousin asks, taking a seat at his wife’s other side; “Sehun and Jongin were looking for you, ya’nno.”

Oh, right.

“Of course,” Yunhee couldn’t help but roll her eyes with a small smile. Sehun and Jongin were the little brothers she never had and the three of them were inseparable— well, not until they have to go to their different classes for the day. Excusing herself from the couple, Yunhee stood up and made her way towards the silver screen door; taking a deep breath and swung it open, stepping inside the house.

The living room was strangely quiet and the voices before can be heard farther down the hall towards the drawing room where they must’ve transferred to not too long ago. She shrugged, walking along the hall and almost bumped into someone just as she turned around the corner.

“Yunhee”

“Jongdae” she gritted her teeth, taking a step back to leave a distance between them. Yunhee had known that he would also be attending the gathering, had the sight of him a couple of times from a distance, but had managed to avoid actually talking to him so far.

“When did you come back?” Jongdae ask casually, the air suddenly tense around them.

“A week ago,” she sighed, “Where’s Sunyoung?”

“She’s getting some water in the kitchen. Look, Yunhee, I know this is the first time we’ve talked ever since all what happened but I just want to say I’m sorry, okay? You never gave me the chance to explain” Jongdae tried to reach out his hand towards her arm but stopped midway when she gave him a hard look. The same look she gave him by the end of their relationship years ago.

“Listen. What you did, whether you meant it or not, had hurt, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s been what, 7 years? I don’t know about you but I’m over it. I wish you just didn’t have to bring it up.” she says, dropping the hard look. He couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“Are you sure? Yunhee—“ but before he could say anything else, Sunyoung arrived back with two glasses of water. Jongdae turned to her with a wide smile, taking the other glass of water from her hand.

“Oh, Yunhee, right? It’s nice to finally meet you, Jongdae has told me a lot about you” she says, holding out her hand towards Yunhee who reluctantly shook her hand with a tight smile.

“Nice to meet you too” she says, trying to be polite.

She wasn’t even upset that Jongdae and her weren’t together anymore, nor wasn’t even supposed to feel this awkward with his girlfriend. She wasn’t even the woman Jongdae cheated on her with— apparently their relationship, she found out, was just apparently all about physical intimacy, something Yunhee couldn’t give him so he found relief in another woman instead— and Sunyoung looks like a nice and bubbly person with a pretty smile. She didn’t mind seeing them together like this that she was a little jealous because she also wanted someone for her as well, but she wanted Jongdae to be happy as a friend. It was confusing and comforting at the same time.

“I think you haven’t heard the news yet since you were missing in action a while ago,” Sunyoung says, cutting her off from her thoughts. She couldn’t help but feel a bubble of panic building inside her, suddenly scared of what the news is all about. It sounded serious based on the expression of the couple in front of her, she swallowed.

“What is it?” she saw Jongdae hissed beside his girlfriend with a little troubled expression, she feigned a small smile but the crazy panic bubble was still rising.

“I’d like you to invite to our wedding, Jongdae and I” Sunyoung smiled, her teeth pearly white, “We’re getting married.”

Oh. Yunhee froze.

“I— uhm—“ she cleared and gave the two the most sincere smile she could muster at the turn of events, “I’m very happy for you both” she managed to say. She needed to walk away, now.

She leaned back a little on her heel, “Well, I have to go. I heard Sehun and Jongin are looking for me” she said, gesturing towards the direction of the drawing room at the end of the hall. She turned around and walked away, not even bothering to look back at the couple.

 

The drawing room was bright that her eyes blurred a little the moment she opened the door, ignoring everyone who stopped from their conversation to watch her sit on one of the empty chairs with a heavy sigh. She closed her eyes. She knew that was coming. It had been years according from her herself. It was none of her business, really, but seeing again the person whom she thought would be the last person who would hurt her but did anyway years after ending everything between them, the future she had once thought about sharing him with— now, knowing that he had found his own happiness, will finally get married and settle down to someone else who is not her. It touched the small ache inside her heart.

She took a deep breath, calming her mind. Of course, everything around her is changing and it’s inevitable. It’s been years, she can’t expect everyone to stay the same— maybe it was only her who was still stuck in the past. Everyone had seemed to move on except her.

Yunhee opened her eyes. From her seat, she could see Junmyeon leaning on one of the windows of the drawing room talking animatedly with Baekhyun and his wife. They were laughing at something Junmyeon was saying, his eyes gleaming in amusement along with his big hand gestures about his story. This was, of course, one of the reasons why she was still stuck in her own timeline. She watched him lean away all of a sudden; cutting their conversation and excuse himself from the couple, his phone seemed to be ringing on his right hand. Some things in life had changed, but the way Junmyeon walked with an air of authority around him just like when they were in college and this…fascination she had about him had stayed the same even after all these years.

“Yunhee,” She felt a familiar hand rest against her shoulder and looked at her right. Sehun had sat down beside her. She hadn’t noticed. He looked different, hair a shade of ash brown and cropped short. He seemed to be fitter, shoulder broad and seemed to be filled well with muscle, contrast to the gangly teenager he was before. A manly look suited him well. She couldn’t help but smile fondly at him.

“Where were you? I missed you, you know!” the younger says, pouting— she couldn’t help but laugh a little. A pouting, manly Sehun is not really a good combination to look at.

“I missed you too, Hunnie. But where is Jongin? I thought the both of you were looking for me?” she asked, looking everywhere inside the room but haven’t caught sight of the tan-skinned man.

Sehun scrunched his nose and also looked around; “I don’t know” he shrugged after a few moments.

Yunhee eyes sought out towards Junmyeon again. Seeing Junmyeon has always been complicated. She had watched him for years; even when she was away from the country she made sure and had asked Sehun to keep her updated on how he is or who he is currently dating. It’s strange. When she had first met him, he was nothing really special and just like one of Chanyeol’s friends. Sure he had caught her eye back then, but she shrugged it off, thinking that maybe he might be a little special compared to the others after all. Eventually, they took the same course in college and started hanging out and studying together— to the point that they even had some sleepovers especially during the peak of their exams.  And when Jongdae had asked her out during their third year in college, all her thoughts about Junmyeon were long forgotten and sealed in the back of her mind. In the end, they have seemed to slowly drift apart.

Junmyeon was still talking to the phone, when Soojung, Sehun's cousin had walked towards him and took his hand. Junmyeon raised an eyebrow at her and she just grinned, waiting for him to finish the call as she played with his fingers. Yunhee felt a very ugly knot build inside. It was all wrong. It felt too wrong. Seeing him standing there, just a few steps from her. It was too much. Too many memories were coming back to the surface. She wanted to be the one standing there, to be the one holding Junmyeon’s hand and play with his fingers. She remembered the way Junmyeon’s thick eyebrows would furrow in confusion as he solve a math problem, his contagious laugh about a joke that wasn’t even funny but she would find herself laughing with him anyway. The mole on his upper lip. His handsome smile. She blinked the images away.

 

It had been the week of their final exams for their last year in college when they had a sleepover once again in Junmyeon’s house. Jongdae had been a little reluctant of the idea of Yunhee sleeping in another man’s house but she had managed to convince him that nothing would happen. Jongin, Junmyeon’s brother would also be there but in the other room, and she reminded him that he trusted Junmyeon not to do anything. As the morning came, Yunhee slowly opened her eyes and realized that they had both fallen asleep in the coffee table in the living room. She slowly turned her head to the other side and her eyes drifted towards Junmyeon, still asleep and facing her. It was the first time she had seen him like this. She slowly traced his facial features with her eyes— sleep gave him a softer look, his eyebrows relaxed and thick eyelashes fanning over his cheekbones. There was a small drool on the side of his lip and she has to stop herself from giggling and wake him up. Something about the way she was watching him sleep made her feel that she wanted to experience this moment again. She didn’t mind waking up to Junmyeon’s sleeping face and admire his face like what she is doing right now. It had launched a series of strange feelings deep within Yunhee. Finally, it all clicked every thought Yunhee had ever had for Junmyeon and the thoughts that she had once sealed back in her mind had gone wide open.

Yunhee rapidly blinked, pulling herself out from her stupor and slowly sat up— feeling her back ache from sleeping in a slouched position. She quietly took her things and placed it inside her bag, grabbed a sticky note and a pen to quickly scribble a note for Junmyeon, and quietly went out of his house— heart thudding loudly in her chest with panic bubbling in her stomach. She immediately took a taxi and arrived at Jongdae’s flat— only to find him in the bed with a girl on top of him whose face she never even bothered to remember.

Finally acknowledging her feelings for Junmyeon when she was dating someone else was already bad enough, and walking into Jongdae outright cheating on her was downright awful. Yes, it had hurt. She felt pathetic. But it was a different kind of hurt, it’s not the ‘my boyfriend cheated on me and it hurts so much because I loved him’ which should actually what she should have felt but it was more like the feeling of betrayal when someone broke a promise they made and you trusted them not to break it kind of hurt. She didn’t understand. Her feelings were in knots. The thoughts in her head were in a big mess. She didn’t know if she should feel bad for herself that Jongdae had cheated on her or feel bad for Jongdae because she dated him but she never really had deeper feelings for him despite being together for almost two years.

Moving on from Jongdae was not that easy even if she only loved him a little more than a friend. She tried to ignore once again the feelings she had for Junmyeon but it was harder now that she had finally recognized it in front of her eyes. She tried to get into dates with other men but never took it seriously. She just can’t— it just sent her a big dissatisfaction in the end. Yunhee realized later on that Junmyeon was the only man she wanted to be with. No one else matched up to him. Even Jongdae, apparently.

 

Yunhee sighed. Sehun looked at her and then followed the line of her sight.

“Junmyeon hyung again, Yunhee?” Yunhee nodded miserably. “Have you guys even talked yet?”

“No” she sighed, “Not yet. I’m not even sure if I would want talk to him, you know? I just—“ she shook her head, clearing her thoughts that were all about Junmyeon away. “Let’s not talk about him, alright? How are you? I heard Andrew had asked you to move in with him”

At that, Sehun cheeks flushed pink. “Well— I mean— yeah. Yeah, he did” he mumbles but she still heard him all too well.

“Aww, my baby is growing up” she couldn’t help but coo, resulting to receive a half-hearted glare from the man in front of her.

“Oh, shut up Yun. We’re about the same age” he shook his head disapprovingly, but the small smile playing on his lips says otherwise.

Of all her friends, Sehun was the last person they expected to bend the other way. All his interests were very manly and the way he acts and talks were manly enough— his looks too, even now— it was almost unbelievable that a few years later, he would have not a girl, but a man in his side. Sehun dated a fair few girls during their college years but all of them turned out to be a disaster he thought he was bound to live in bad luck forever when it comes to love, until Andrew came. Andrew is a British-Chinese exchange student from London and Sehun’s classmate in his E-Business class during his last year in college. Long story short, Sehun found out the reason why his past straight relationships were a disaster and the two fell in love. Yunhee was the first person Sehun had come out to about his orientation and she gladly opened her arms wide for him— helping him with her full, all-out support to come out to the rest of their friends as well.

Yunhee scooted closer to Sehun, intertwining their hands together and rested it on his thigh. She looked at their intertwined hands and back to him fondly.

“I’m really, really happy for you, Sehun.” she says softly, sincerely.

“Thank you, Yunhee” Sehun whispered. Yunhee leaned forward and kissed his forehead like the big sister she is towards him right from the start of their friendship. Their hands remain intertwined as they talked about other things for a while. Chanyeol and Najeong, even Jongdae and Sunyoung came back inside the room and Baekhyun and Soeun brought out the afternoon snacks and some tea. Jongin eventually entered the drawing room and came towards them, tackling Yunhee for a bear hug and a big kiss on her cheek before whisking Sehun away to the entertainment room to play some video games. Yunhee watched them walk out of the door with a small smile and swallowed back a lump in . It was ridiculous.

She wanted to be happy for everyone around her and she was happy for her friends, alright. But when will be the time she could be happy for herself? It was stupid. She was trapped in her own bubble and couldn’t get out. Is there something wrong with her? All she just wanted was to take a step and walk away from the consistency of her life. Her thoughts drifted. Maybe things would have been different if she didn’t wake up next to Junmyeon that day. Sure, Jongdae would still end up cheating with her and she will get hurt. Maybe after that break up she could date other guys with ease and maybe then she could find someone satisfactory. But then her eyes sought out again for Junmyeon— realizing that he was not in the room anymore— she knew that things would still fall in the same way as it is now. She would eventually realize that it’s only Junmyeon that she wants and worst case scenario she would be realizing it all too late. Suddenly feeling peevish, Yunhee got up and excused herself, walking out of the room.

 

With her hands inside her coat pockets, she went outside the back garden Sehun had told her to check out awhile ago. The cool wind greeted her the moment she opened the silver screen door. If she had claimed that the view in the veranda was beautiful, the back garden was magnificent. A large oak tree was standing proudly in the middle of the area, surrounded by different bushes of flowers in different colors; three butterflies were fleeting over them. Almost all of the leaves of the tree were in a bright copper color, some of them raining down the ground as the wind gently blows. Walking towards the bench that is perched beside the tree, Yunhee sat and admired the place. The atmosphere felt a little fresher, as if she finally had a breather away from the tension she had felt inside together with her friends. She leaned her back towards the backrest of the bench; feeling drained and shut her eyes to the world.

 

The old feelings were rushing through her. The yearning she had for Junmyeon.  Damnit, it had been years now and she thought it would at least lessen over time but no, it was still as strong as it had ever been. Seeing him here again after so long still made her love him so much even after all these years. She knows it’s love, she called it love, but never admitted it out loud. Not to anyone but Sehun at least. She remembered every moment of them so clearly: the day when Chanyeol had introduced her to his friends, their eyes locking as their hands connect for a handshake; the day she realized her feelings; and the one later on, when she finally saw Junmyeon again.

She finally had the courage to visit Junmyeon in his new apartment with Jongin in Seoul. It was a year after their graduation— a year after breaking up with Jongdae, and she was sure Junmyeon had felt something too. He almost blamed himself when he thought he was the reason why the two had broken up and when she told him that it’s not his fault, and that she caught Jongdae cheating with her in the act, she saw the way Junmyeon’s expression change then. As if he wanted to see Jongdae right now and rip him to pieces. She tried to reason to herself that it was because she and Junmyeon were almost best friends and he was just feeling over protective of her, but then again, she had seen the hard look that would always appear on Junmyeon’s face whenever Jongdae would be extra sweet to her in front of their friends from months ago.

Yunhee had met Jongin in the lobby of the building and had told her that she is welcome to go inside, giving her the password code of their door. When she entered the apartment, she found Junmyeon sitting in the living room, his hair had grown a little longer and had apparently dyed his hair autumn brown— thick eyebrows were furrowed as he drew and wrote little notes on the blueprint on the coffee table. He looked up when he heard someone arrive and did a double take.

“Yunhee?” he says and stood up, a smile on his face. Yunhee was looking at Junmyeon for too long to respond, until she realized she had been staring and looked away.

“Yunhee,” Junmyeon says gently, she looked back at him. He was looking at her a soft yet sad expression. “Is there something wrong? I thought we were okay, after graduation I tried to reach you but…” he shrugged, frowning.

“I— we were okay” Yunhee immediately says, “I’m just busy and it just feels…very awkward to me”

At this, Junmyeon raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I don’t understand, Yunhee. How can you feel awkward if we’re friends?”

She took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“If this is about me punching Jongdae on graduation again I swear—“

“Because I liked you, Junmyeon” she cut him off, walking towards him and held his hand a little tighter than she had intended. “I think I might even be in love with you.” she whispered, looking terrified and electrified all at once.

“Oh,” Junmyeon says, and she felt the hand she was holding twitch. Something inside of her began to crumble. “I— uhm— I’m not sure, Yunhee” he whispered and withdrew his hand from her grasp, looking away. Yunhee dropped her hand and took a big step back.

“I— sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” she mumbles, feeling pathetic. She moved further away from Junmyeon.

He looked back at her and shook his head, eyes seemed to be in panic. “No, I mean, it’s okay. I’m glad you did. It’s just that I—”

What he was about to say was interrupted by the sound of the password code being punched in and the front door opening. It was Jongin who entered the apartment, next to him was a short haired girl who seemed familiar to Yunhee.

“Aish, Junmyeon oppa, are you still working on that blueprint? I told you to give it a rest and have a date with me” the short haired said, and came striding towards Junmyeon until she was standing in front of him, in the spot where Yunhee was standing a while ago. She tiptoed and gave him a kiss on the lips. Yunhee’s cheeks flushed pink. The room seemed to suddenly spin.

“Uh, Yunhee? This is my girlfriend, Hyesu.” seeing the lack of expression on Yunhee’s face, he added. “We’re classmates with her in Environmental Tech back in our last year, don’t you remember?” and finally she nodded, understanding why the girl seemed familiar to her, the words coming out from Junmyeon’s mouth after were just a noise buzzing in her ears. She finally understood why he seemed reluctant, she got everything wrong. Embarrassment had come over her that it didn’t take long enough for her to excuse herself and leave the apartment. She wanted to cry right then. She never cried a single tear when Jongdae had cheated on her. But with Junmyeon, she wanted to scream to the world and cry her eyes out. Jongin had actually followed her, and gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

“It’s okay, noona. Some things in life are meant to turn into a different direction first before falling into the right place. You just have to wait for the right time and everything will be alright” Yunhee didn’t find anything close to comfort with his words. She nodded anyway and gave him a hug, sending her goodbyes. In the end, she wasn’t able to tell them that she would be flying to France and won’t be returning after a very long time due to her work contract.

Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. Junmyeon had Hyesu, and she’s so sure there will be no hope for her. He would never see her the way she saw him, he would never have these feelings like she had felt towards him. She went home and packed all her belongings for her flight the next day, deciding to put Junmyeon out of her mind. She thought that maybe, once she is in France she would finally be able to forget about him. Apparently, all her attempts had completely been unsuccessful in the end.

 

The wind was blowing gently against her, making her droop towards sleep, when the sound of voices prevented her from succumbing to sleep— she froze.

“Ohmygosh!” it was the unmistakable voice of Soojung, “Oppa! This is too much” she said, her voice high but hesitant. Her voice was coming from the fence near the tulips on her far right. Junmyeon’s voice was fond as he answered, “It’s okay. Anything for you, really.” and Yunhee’s heart was thudding painfully in her chest.

It was nothing, right?

Sehun had told her that Junmyeon had ended his relationship with Hyesu three months after she left for France, and Sehun just told her about the different girls he shortly went out with within those years that suddenly stopped after three years she was gone. Not once had he mentioned about Soojung. But she wasn’t just anybody of course. Besides being Sehun’s cousin, the four of them: Sehun, Jongin, Soojung, and Junmyeon grew up together. While Sehun and Jongin had Yunhee, Soojung had Junmyeon. And after all, she might even be probably Junmyeon’s first love.

Yunhee knows she should go back inside and give them privacy at least, but she couldn’t open her eyes, afraid that once she does, it would only break her heart.

She heard Soojung gasp, “Oh, Junmyeon oppa. It’s really— are you sure?”

“Yes, Jungie-yah, I’m a hundred percent sure.”

“I’m— I don’t really know what to say, oppa. It’s just—“

“Oh no, you don’t, you sly fox” Junmyeon interrupted with a chuckle, “You’ve been hinting about that for a month now, I realized I have to do something about it.” Yunhee wanted to take her ears off. She doesn’t want to hear the rest of conversation. “Just have it, okay? I want you to be happy. I love you so much, you know that right? So have it.”

Yunhee had managed to open her eyes and stood up, wobbling slightly at the sudden movement. Just as she took a step forward, Soojung’s reply of “I love you too” echoed in her head. She felt the rest of the world stop with her.

The world had seemed to have moved on without her. Baekhyun and Soeun have their new home, Jongdae and Sunyoung are getting married, Chanyeol and Najeong were about to have a family of their own, Sehun will move in with Andrew while Jongin will surely move forward anytime soon, and Junmyeon had Soojung. It was all too much. She stood there just a step away from the bench, a mild headache starting to form in her head.

Looking up, she saw Junmyeon and Soojung, arm in arm heading towards the entrance of the back garden. She knows that they will see her standing there looking like a fool. The way they look so perfect together, the closeness and warmth between them; it caused Yunhee a physical pain, in her chest, in her heart. She couldn’t help but feel a deep ache course through her. She tried to put a small smile on her face when they spotted her but she couldn’t move. Panic had rushed and built up in her stomach. They were now walking towards her and she wanted to run somewhere where she could not feel everything she is feeling right now. This was far worse than Hyesu. This was far more serious than dating.

Soojung pulled her arm off from Junmyeon’s as she rushed towards Yunhee, a face-splitting smile on her face. Yunhee thought she actually might be feeling sick.

“Yunhee eonni!” Soojung squeals, pulling her towards an almost bone-crushing hug. She looked at Junmyeon, watching them with a smile.

“Hey, Soojung-ah” she managed to twitch her lips into an acceptable smile when they pulled away.

“Guess what Junmyeon oppa gave me” the younger one beams, showing her a piece of paper. Yunhee blinked. Realizing the older one’s lack of reaction, Soojung unfolded the paper and it showed her a letter about Soojung getting accepted into a fashion school in Seoul. It’s a letter. It’s not a ring. Yunhee had never felt so confused.

“I’ve always loved fashion and Junmyeon oppa talked to the director of the school to get me accepted into the school. Isn’t he the best oppa in the world!?” Yunhee swallowed, nodding. “I— I’m happy for you, Soojung” she says, finally able to smile at the other. With a giggly thanks Soojung excused herself and almost ran off inside, Junmyeon watching her with a fond expression.

“She’s so happy” he said, turning his head to look at her. Yunhee just nodded. It seemed safer than talking right now. “She’s been going to my office almost every other day the past month, moping around because she wants to enter the school but she doesn’t have the qualifications, that kid, I know she just wants me to take care of it for her” he shook his head gently, “Jongin is going to kill me for spoiling his girlfriend again”

Yunhee thought her heart had stopped beating.

“Jongin’s…what?” she spluttered out, Junmyeon gave her a funny look.

“Jongin and Soojung’s been dating for 4 years now. Didn’t you know?” Yunhee flushed in embarrassment. She was too focused on getting herself updated about Junmyeon the past years she was gone that she never really paid attention to their other friends. For a second, she might have felt guilty, but then again, she didn’t care. The man Soojung has been dating is his brother. It was Jongin. It wasn’t Junmyeon.

“But— but I, err—“ Yunhee bit her lip, “I heard you two talking”

“You were eavesdropping?” Junmyeon muses and for a moment, Yunhee forgot that she should be feeling uncomfortable right now and rolled her eyes. Some things, maybe, just never change.

“Well, I mean, Soojung’s practically squealing, of course I would overhear it by accident” at Junmyeon’s amused chuckle, she shook her head. “I don’t understand. I—you said you loved her so much and it sounded like you’re proposing to her and she—” Yunhee blushed, mortified of blurting out her thoughts.

“No one is getting married besides Jongdae and Sunyoung this year, Yunhee.” said Junmyeon as he look at her, a soft smile on his face.

“Oh, I— sorry” she mumbles, looking at the ground. She watched Junmyeon’s feet move towards her and took her hand in his, holding it gently.

“I love Soojung, I really do” he said, “But perhaps just like how you love Sehun and Jongin.” Yunhee finally looked up at Junmyeon, who closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he was looking straight into her, eyes unfaltering. Yunhee just stared back at him.

“I thought about what you said, in my apartment 6 years ago, Yunhee” he says, squeezing her hand. “It took me months to figure it out. I tried to be with other girls but I realized none of them matched up to you” she watched him swallow, his other hand rising to her cheek and she could help but lean on to the warmth of his hand.

“But why didn’t you tried to reach out to me then?” she croaked, thinking about Chanyeol and Najeong’s wedding two years ago where she managed to come back to Korea for a short stay. She had been looking for Junmyeon then, but their friends told her he couldn’t come. “I was looking for you, do you know that?”

“I know, but I heard from Sehun you were dating someone else back in France then, and I just couldn’t take the risk yet. I was scared.” Junmyeon confessed, his eyes searching hers, “Because I couldn't bear the thought of bumping into you and knowing I could never have you again. That you might have moved on— realized you didn’t love me anymore.”

For a moment, Yunhee wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation. Here she was, thinking that the world had moved on without her where in reality, it wasn’t just her who was unable to move on.

“But then I saw how mortified you were when you thought I proposed to Soojung, I thought that maybe you still do have feelings for me.”

“I never stopped loving you,” she says, feeling bolder now that she knew what Junmyeon had felt and took a step forward— distance smaller between them. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “I love and loved you so much, it’s unbearable, Junmyeon. I almost can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you”

“Then, I’m glad” he smiles, running his thumb to wipe away the tears she didn’t realize were streaming down her cheeks, “Because I never stopped loving you too.” And slowly, gently, almost impossibly, Junmyeon leaned down and kissed Yunhee. Their kiss was messy and wet, but his mouth was hot and urgent, his hand on her cheek sliding down her neck while the one holding her hand before had moved around her waist as she threw her arms around him— she wouldn’t mind kissing him like this forever.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to find you,” Junmyeon whispers, taking another kiss from Yunhee’s lips, sweet and innocent. “And I’m never letting you go, just so you know” Yunhee laughs, the folded pieces of her heart which she thought was completely lost, she realized, was always been there— waiting for the right time open up again.

“Good, cause I never really have plans of leaving again.” she whispers, kissing Junmyeon deep and long.

As the blowing gentle wind of the upcoming autumn took away the stuffy air and the oppressive pressure of the day, Yunhee and Junmyeon sat on the bench perched against the oak tree— thighs against each other as warmth spread through their intertwined hands with a promise of forever. And as they watch the oak tree leaves fall on them like rain, Yunhee realizes that after all, things were starting to finally change not only for her, but for Junmyeon as well.  

 

fin