Nonsense. Superstitious. Regression of intelligence.

Taeyeon couldn’t help but feel extremely disappointed, her bubble burst when she finally got the answer she’s been chasing after all these years. She held the necklace in hand and stared at the blue crystal blankly. People back home say these crystals were formed together and meant to be together, it’s commonly believed that one stone would lead one to their destined partner, no matter where and how far that special someone would be. So Taeyeon followed its lead, all the way from her planet M74 to another planet called Earth. Universe apart, she found herself in a place called America, there she found the man with the green crystal, it was the very first thing Taeyeon noticed - the silver ring with the crystal on top. 

He was supposed to be the one. 

He was quite the exact opposite of Taeyeon, a quiet man who always locked himself in the world of music, trapping himself within the softness of his headphone cushions. She was curious about him, for he rarely talked nor looked her directly in the eye, she was intrigued by humans on Earth, eager to discover more about her supposed other half.

They spent time together, to Taeyeon’s amaze, he didn’t seem to mind her barging into his life. He taught her skateboarding, sharing and introducing his favourite songs with her, taking her to the shore for a walk, he played piano and sang for her, he tendered to all her needs, he tolerated to all her immature annoying behaviours. He was gentle, he fell in love with her as days passed by, Taeyeon knew that deep down at heart. She liked him - but it wasn’t love.

She had to stop this before this man loves her with all his heart.

Taeyeon struggled before handing her necklace to him, they were destined to meet but not meant to be together. The stones should stay paired but sadly not them, sorry and thank you for everything you’ve done for me, I really enjoyed the time we spent together. It was her farewell speech to him, then she was gone like starlight.

He wasn’t the one.

Disappointment and guilt filled up all the emptiness in Taeyeon’s heart. She should have listened to her elders, chasing after something so baseless and ridiculous - now that her head was no longer overwhelmed by excitement and wild imaginations, she could only cursed at her stupidity. Crystals of fate. Nothing but a fantasy sold to girls around her age, like fairytales to children. Romance, love and passion, elements that young women like Taeyeon are willing to embrace one day. With the conclusion she had finally arrived at, none of those fate claims are true, and she was going to prove the universe wrong once she returned home.

Guess this little adventure will have to cut short. Taeyeon thought, putting her pink beeper back into her oversized shirt’s pocket. Too many messages and calls from her mother planet, there would probably be an earful of scolding afterwards because she kept on refusing to return. Just a few more days, she always said, but days became weeks, it was already the end of summer before she knew it.

She strolled along the shore.

Cool breeze washed away her annoyance, tides hitting her feet bringing cooling sensations, she could spend days just watching the waves after waves hitting the shore and backing down. It was somewhat calming, just looking at the scenery was a pure delight. She needed time, to change her mood as well as reconsidering about her future blueprints - looking for love was solely an act on impulse, there wasn’t any expectations from the very beginning anyways, she’d soon be obsessed with another idea soon enough.

A woman dressed in a white summer lace dress.  

Taeyeon stopped and stared in awe, for a moment she thought she was hallucinating because the sight before her was just ethereal. The brunette didn’t seem to notice Taeyeon’s presence, she leaned against a wooden post with her back facing Taeyeon. Taeyeon didn’t dare to take one more step closer to the woman for she didn’t want to ruin the picture. The woman had wavy honey brown hair, although slightly messy with the breeze kept blowing, the sunset rays shined upon her slender figure, everything about this scene was nothing but atheistic.

Taeyeon was desperate to try keeping this scene forever engraved in her memory, too indulged in memorising her surroundings, she nearly lost in thoughts when the woman turned around. Her heart skipped a beat under the brunette’s stare, Taeyeon froze on spot, unable to speak or even mutter a single syllable. 

Absolutely beautiful. Taeyeon studied the brunette’s features as she finally had a chance to take a good glance of her face. Almond shaped eyes, tall nose, pumped cherry lips, so effortlessly, breathtakingly beautiful. She didn’t look like she was from around because she looked too pale for a sunny place like this, her eyes teary and her brows slightly frowned, she was too sad for a vacation place like this. 

What is she doing here? Why does she seem so sad? Numerous questions flew across Taeyeon’s mind, yet none of them ever left her parted lips. She was dumbfounded and probably looked like a lunatic staring at a stranger so intently, but she couldn’t shift her impolite gaze away. As if someone casted a spell on her, Taeyeon was drawn towards this woman, she was defenceless, free falling for her with no parachute. Irresistible, unstoppable, uncontrollable. Taeyeon inhaled slowly, her mind merely stated one thing.

She’s the one.

Her name was Tiffany.

She was desperate to take her mind off something - what for, Taeyeon didn’t know, she didn’t need to know any of it.

Back when Taeyeon was still a hairless little rascal, she was known for her fierce and reckless behaviours. She just couldn’t keep still or stay out of trouble for a day, it wasn’t in her nature, life was boring if there wasn’t spice added to it.

Passions and happiness, reasons as well as motivations for one to continue living, they are fuel to a fire, they made the fire burns much brighter, hotter and exciting. Taeyeon was the master in this area, an expert in turning life into a blinding blaze, she could offer Tiffany exactly what she needed - escape, numbness, freedom.

She's going to show her all the wonderful things in this world, to show her how to embrace life like there's no tomorrow.

Taeyeon offered her hand to Tiffany, invited her to a newfound journey. Without hesitation, Tiffany took her hand, let the blonde turn to a new page in her life.

They spent days and nights together, they pranked grumpy store owners, they raced to the far end at the coast, they drove around in a convertible muscle car aimlessly, blasting music as they hit the next road. They'd stay in a shabby hotel when night curtain falls, talking, laughing, taking one step closer to each other. Taeyeon was falling, faster and faster, for the brunette whom is all she could think about.

Tiffany is a fierce, confident and fast-paced woman, qualities that Taeyeon love so much. Tiffany is a challenge, for her weary heart hidden underneath her tough front, embedded in those dark orbs that always lure Taeyeon in. Secrets, shattered heart, unwanted memories, none of which Taeyeon cares as long as Tiffany is with her right now, at this moment.

There was one night when Taeyeon was awakened by her beeper.

“M74 COUNTDOWN”

That night Taeyeon was wide awake.

She lied still on the flowery patterned double bed, trapped within the confines of a baby pink motel room, next to her was a sleeping Tiffany. She brushed the brunette's fringe aside gently, her fingertip trails along Tiffany's ear shell to her jawline lightly, afraid to wake her from sweet dreams. There was a faint dried tear trail on Tiffany's cheek, Taeyeon thought she had heard some sobbing before her beeper went off, another tear fell from the corner of Tiffany's eye confirmed her suspicion.

It wasn't the first time for Tiffany to cry during her sleep, Taeyeon knew that too well because she was never a light sleeper. She wiped the tear off Tiffany's cheek and put her arm around the brunette, pulling her into a warm embrace. Tiffany would unconsciously snuggled up to her chin, her breathing became regular and heavy again in Taeyeon's arms, then Taeyeon would place kiss on the top of her head - just like every other night they spent together. When morning comes, she'd withdraw her arms before Tiffany wakes up, just like every break of dawn.

Taeyeon is enjoying this too much, way more than she ever should, but life is all about living the moment, she convinced herself in falling deeper and deeper.

For her clock is ticking, there's no more time to waste.

“M74 DOWN TO 2”

Taeyeon peeked at the lighted screen before switching off the car engine.

Her eyes once again fixed on the brunette who’s currently devouring the last piece of sandwich, thankfully her companion didn’t notice her beeper and probably, too busy to notice the weird expression on her face just then.

They went on another road trip, this time there was no more shabby motel, not even a single shelter among the way they came. Plain and more plain was all they had. On the bright side, at least their rental car was still intact and working just fine. So here they are, in the middle of nowhere, pulled over to the side since it’s late at night. 

“Hey, are you alright? You’ve been a bit quiet lately.” Tiffany asked with concern. It’s dark out in the plain, she could manage to outline Taeyeon’s features, she can tell there isn’t a silly nor a sly smile on the blonde’s face. Taeyeon’s grip on the steering wheels tightens, her stomach burning up, dried - it is now or never.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Do you believe in fate?”

Tiffany shot Taeyeon a confused look, what a random question, and such a weird serious tone that’s very unlike the Taeyeon she knows.

“Used to, but not anymore after fate betrayed me.” Tiffany shrugs. One betrayal of loyalty, one shameless jerk, one heartbreak was enough to crush her faith in fate or so-called destiny, they’re all gibberish to her now.

Taeyeon’s eyes darted upwards, staring at the starry sky above this great plain, seemingly isn’t affected by Tiffany’s all-too-realistic-unromantic statement. 

“Back in where I grew up, there is an item called the Crystals of fate, one is blue while another is green, they are supposed to be a match. All children are given one for future purposes.” Taeyeon’s voice is soft, quiet and too easily missed, but Tiffany caught every word that sounded like a mutter rather than an actual conversation. Taeyeon continues: “People believe these crystals will lead you to your destined one, you know, love of your life kind of thing. I used to have one too.”

“Did it lead you to your destined one then?”

Tiffany’s curiosity hit the heart of question.

The man whom she left behind just weeks ago reappeared in the back of Taeyeon’s mind, she remembers handing her own necklace to him at the shore. His ring and her necklace, emerald green and azure blue crystals. Has it ever been love? She remembers his teary eyes when she bit goodbye, she was upset and sad too, but she could live with that just fine, there wasn’t any wounds.

She would know if it was love, just like now.

“I’ve traveled a long way here, I followed my crystal’s lead and it did find its other half, sadly the other crystal’s owner wasn’t the one.” 

“So it’s just a false belief.”

“Wrong.” Taeyeon smiles. 

“Prove me wrong.” 

“It led me to where you exist, and right there I found you.” The image of a woman dressed in white standing under sunset came to Taeyeon’s mind, right there at the shore where she first met him, where she declared it wasn’t love and left him, and where she met Tiffany. “You’re the one, Tiffany, you’re my destined one.”

Words are always a convenient trap for people to fall into, Tiffany knows it better than anyone, she knows better than trusting any words of love ever again.

“I can’t handle another sweet talker.” Tiffany said apologetically yet sternly, her calm tone was a perfect facade to hide her doubts and fear. Taeyeon is looking at her directly without offering her an escape route. Sincerity and honesty are all that sparkle in those dark eyes of hers, all that makes Tiffany even more insecure and feelings tangled.

“You’ll only have my honest words, I like you, a lot, more than the both of us can ever imagine.”

“I told you I don’t believe in fate anymore, Taeyeon, I like you too, but - ”

“So what’s the matter? Leave your past fate behind and just focus on now, on us.”

Realising she might unconsciously became too forceful and unnecessarily impatient, Taeyeon sighs, waffles her hair while shifting her gaze back onto the empty road ahead. She probably had already broken everything she had with Tiffany, but she needed this, like a leap of faith, there is nothing to lose - only Tiffany, whom she’ll certainly lose when her time on Earth is up.

Tell her, Taeyeon, she deserves to know and have a proper goodbye this night. Taeyeon inhales with a heavy heart, clenches her jaw before breaking the silence.

“My time is limited, I need to leave this place tomorrow after arriving at the nearest town. You can have all my money and belongings, I won’t be needing them.”

Tiffany’s eyes widened.

“Why? Is that why you’re telling me all this out of a sudden?!” Tiffany’s voice was loud, anger, was all that came rushing to break her rationality.

“Yes.” Taeyeon couldn’t care much even if a wrath might be on its way to destroy her. “I don’t have much time left and I can’t leave without confessing to you.”

Tiffany shakes her head in disbelief while letting out a sarcastic laugh, she has every right to be angry, the urge to hate on Kim Taeyeon might as well overwhelm her now and forever. Just how selfish is this woman? Telling her all these before parting? Who does she think she is, just toying with people as she pleases then leave? Yet, she talks of love and fate, confusing and touching words that flatters every heart, especially a weary, shattered heart. 

“I’m so confused right now, my mind is a mess. How do you expect me to react? What do you expect me to say?”

“You don’t, just answer one question for me,” Taeyeon desperately cups Tiffany’s face to turn the latter to face her. “Do you have feelings for me? Even the slightest, I need to know before I go.”

She needs this, she needs something to hold onto when she no longer has Tiffany. 

“One word, one word is all I need. Please.” Taeyeon pleads, her voice nearly broke as seconds passed by in dead silence.

Tiffany looks into Taeyeon’s glimmering eyes, she could barely read Taeyeon’s expressions since it’s too dark, so she uses both of her hands to outline her defined jawline, as if she’s a sculptor using her hands to refine, to admire her masterpiece. She had always liked - loved this fine, sharp jawline of Taeyeon. Her fingertips slide onto the back of Taeyeon’s neck, locking the blonde in close proximity, eyes travel downwards and fixed on those pumped lips.

She felt Taeyeon’s thumb caressing her own lips lightly, so endearingly, so tenderly that breaks down all her barriers and anxieties. She is finally free in Taeyeon’s hold.

Then Tiffany leans in to capture her lips.

It was the bitterest, saddest, confusing kiss Tiffany has ever had.

Their first as well as their last kiss, mixed feelings which their nature cannot be determined. Tiffany was torn between love and hate, love the woman who offered a hand and a silly grin to her at the shore, hate that woman for announcing the love for her and sudden departure at the same time. 

“It’s not fair.” Tiffany muttered between their kiss, how she wishes she could take revenge on the blonde, but it just ended in another and yet another longing kiss. “It’s not fair…”

Taeyeon holds Tiffany tightly in her arms, kissing her temple as if she’s quietly apologising. The grip on the back of her shirt tightens, Tiffany buries her face in Taeyeon’s chest, her voice cracked.

“I hate you, Kim Taeyeon, you selfish, ruthless, sly devil.”

“M74 - - - - -”

Taeyeon was gone before dawn after they arrived at the next town, vanished before Tiffany woke up from recurring nightmares.

Tiffany stares at the hot pink beeper before the windscreen, this strange looking gadget was all Taeyeon had left, and it doesn’t seem to work properly since it  only flashes meaningless symbols. She has no idea how to work this thing, nor is she willing to figure it out, but she’s going to keep it, as a part of her memory, an solid proof of an unbloom love’s exsistence.

Her hands steady on the steering wheels, foot on the pedal, ready to bail this journey since her one and only is now gone.