chapter eleven

of disfigured hearts &  unlit ardors
November 7TH, 2016

Time spent counting the stars and restlessly lying down thinking about the various wonders this universe contained had quickly become scarce as preparations for their upcoming comeback, ‘Tape Two’, had initiated alongside the making of a special album, an album specially made for Christmas, a present for the fans that patiently waited for new music to be released a top of drama recordings that neared their end but still left a mark on the health of two individuals, both physically and mentally.  

Prudently eyeing her reflection, Jangmi’s hands brushed the navy-blue dress that warmly hugged her figure. Afterward caressing the necklace that adorned her neck as well as the earrings that made her features shine.  

After months of silence between two individuals that love each other deeply, or so they hoped, an invitation had come as silently and as unexpectedly as the First Snow of November.  

Hesitantly she approached the door that stood in front of her. With cautious movements, she entered and immediately she met the eyes of the person she had grown to cherish with all of her heart.  

Taeyong greeted her, an awkward smile on his flawless face. “You look exceptionally stunning,” he said. 

Jangmi smiled at his sudden compliment. “I was going to tease you and declare that you looked bad. However, you also look tremendously handsome today” Taeyong let out a small laugh as he bowed his head, thanking her. “You always do though.” 

Months had passed since their last encounter, however, as if a wish had been made, Taeyong invited Jangmi on a date, declaring that he had missed her tremendously and sought to see her in the place where they had their first date without the outside world overstepping its boundaries. The restaurant was a few steps away from the main SM Entertainment’s building. Its name was ‘The Grannies hideout.' 

‘The Grannies hideout’ belonged to a woman in her mid-60’s named Min Minjung and her husband who was almost in his 70’s named Hwang Jiyoung. Often were the times that their children, Soomin who was in her 30’s and Minhyun who was in his late 20’s, would help their parents with the restaurant that quickly became well known attributable to its excellent service and the old couple undeniable cuteness and kind-heartedness. 

If you were to count with your fingers how many dates they had had at that place, you would need both your hands and feet, yet it wouldn’t be enough for the hospitality ‘The Grannies Hideout’ had constantly offered them, was unforgettable.  

As if it was yesterday, Jangmi clearly remembered the first time he asked her out on an official date. His cheeks tinted in a sweat peach color, his palms were sweaty, his awkward gestures, stumbling on simple words, everything about it was loveable and loveable was the word that could best describe the timid Taeyong.  

Their first date was cheesy. It was filled with unnecessary compliments, shy glances, loud conversations that bothered the elderly couples that deep down enjoyed seeing such a young couple being cute to each other. 

As the owners were aware of their date, they reserved the same table they sat at during their first romantic encounter. The table both Taeyong and Jangmi had chosen during their first meeting was none other than the only empty table that rested in a poorly lit corner of the restaurant. 

Cocking her head, she eyed the boy in front of her who oddly seemed distant, as if his mind wasn’t there. “How was your day?” she dared to ask. 

He shifted his position, looking straight into her eyes, lightly sighing before answering the question that put an end to the infrequent and awkward silence surrounding them. “Just…like always. Busy preparing for our comeback, and for the year-end music awards where we are expected to put out special performs.” 

At the mention of the year-end music awards, Jangmi’s mood dulled. No information had been distributed regarding their appearance, though she had her doubts, certain they wouldn’t be attending on yet unsure Shinhwa would do such thing to the group that put out one of the most loved debuts of 2016. However, there were several reasons that could contribute to their absence, A) they couldn’t risk Kyulbin’s recently recovered injury. B) They were nominated for several awards but, if Ethereal were to perform, as they had received a great quantity of success for a group coming from a smaller company, they would have to present special performances, and their schedule did not allow time for that. C) Their comeback in January, was currently, their first priority as well as their Christmas album. 

“Are the other members doing well? Regrettably, I haven’t had the chance to speak with anyone else apart from the baboon that Jaehyun is, so I don’t really know” she inquired. 

Taeyong, who leaned against the extremity of the table, measly nodded his head. “Our schedules are all packed, all of us are tired, but we’re doing well. What about your members? Are they okay?” 

Jangmi cleared before proceeding to answer the questions he had made. “I believe my members are doing as best as they can. We’re all very busy as well, we barely have time to talk to each other.” She sipped on her hot chocolate, “Meilin has been recording for her drama, and so have I. We used to talk so much with each other but there’s no time nor energy to do such thing now. Dajung has been home a lot, I believe she’s keeping Kyulbin Company, the two of them are very close and cherish each other a lot, I envy their friendship, to be honest, it's so pure and innocent. There was this period Saeron’s happiness dulled, but its back now. I believe she and Twice are spending time together as well as I.O.I, she seems really happy these days, truly happy, and I’m glad she is, even if we aren’t the closest, I wish her nothing but happiness.” 

At her long answer, he just nodded his head, a small smile on his face, this though, visibly forced as his brown eyes were glazed, his mind somewhere else, uninterested in the conversation as he pretended to listen to it. 

“Is everything okay, oppa?” she asked. Taeyong bit his lips, breaking from his trance. “You seem odd. Are you sick?” 

Looking at his hands, he let out a long and exasperated sigh before speaking, “Let’s break up.” 

Unable to move, she merely looked into his eyes. “Why are we breaking up?” 

He looked away, heaving yet another heavy sigh. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” as he opened his lips to speak, Jangmi interrupted him. “Actually, it’s better if you keep that beautiful mouth of yours shut tightly, I really don’t want to hear the breakup speech you prepared. I’ll chatter on by myself and then, leave.” 

“No matter how much I think I can’t recall any moment I mistreated you. I didn’t cheat on you, I didn’t start drinking alcohol uncontrollably, I didn’t stop loving you; all I did was leave SM Entertainment, the only thing you disapproved of” Jangmi breathed in, trying to calm down her emotions, “I feel like you’re the one at fault here. I feel like you’re the reason as to why we are breaking up so suddenly. You’ve lost interest in me or...you started seeing someone else.” 

At the mention of having an affair, Taeyong strongly gripped the cup of caramel macchiato in front of him, Jangmi shook her head and lightly grabbed her mug but quickly took her hands off due to the heat the mug was transmitting. Restlessly, she put her hands on her lap, caressing them in an attempt to comfort herself. 

Biting and her lower lip she looked him in the eyes. “Tell me who it was. I think that I deserve to know considering everything I wasted on you. Money, love and time. Everything that I ever gave you was lost. And now to the pain and humiliation that I am being subjected to, I think I have the right to know who swayed your heart. Who was the girl that looked so mesmerizing you couldn’t control your emotions?” 

“Was it someone from SM?” she inquired, after him not responding to her first question. Once again he kept quiet. “Jaehyun will tell me if you don’t. I’ll eventually know either way.” 

She sighed. “I’d rather know it from you, Taeyong-ssi. If you ever really loved me once, tell me. It would be too embarrassing if I came by SM and saw you with her, go ahead and tell me now so I don’t have to come near you again and she doesn’t have to re-do her plastic surgery.” 

Taeyong coughed. “You know her.” 

Jangmi scoffed at his vagueness. “I want a name Taeyong or are you that much of a coward that you can’t tell me?” 

Taeyong tightly shut his eyes, softly shaking his head. “It’s Yeri.” 

Jangmi looked at him, a loud ring was heard inside her brain, dumbfounded due to his words. “Were you that unsatisfied with me that you had to cheat on me with someone you know I have always despised?” she calmly asked, a serene expression rested on her features. She rested her chin on her hands. “How could you? Do this to me? To Meilin? The person that has depended on