Closer
We Ain't Ever Getting OlderHAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII <3
Thanks for your patience with my schedule so far. I finally finished T_T
This is still the most beautiful song on earth. I would suggest putting Closer by the Chainsmokers on repeat while reading this. Or just listening to Chainsmokers' original songs in a playlist would work wonders. I hope yall enjoy!
Warnings: atrocious grammar, fluff, real world stuff
Sehun smiled and bowed mechanically as he had been trained to do for so many years as he walked past people saying their congratulations. EXO had won their nth MAMA award now and although it is an honor every time, Sehun thinks it’s too excessive to have all 9 of them present at the awards show. After all, they’re not newbies anymore.
No, they could almost be considered veterans now. They have established a large consistent fanbase and have won a sweeping number of awards already. This was their 7th MAMA awards and once again, they managed to secure an award whether for outfits or song or album. Sehun lost count.
“Great job on winning artist of the year award!” Someone with a familiar face says.
Sehun is broken out of his daze as someone steps in front of him. Sehun remembers him as the face from a new YG group but the name escapes him. The solemn maknae does his best to put on a friendly face.
“Thanks! Congratulations on all your success this year too. Your performance was super exciting!”
The boy looked down coyly and began talking about something about practicing with a new choreographer that Sehun didn’t particularly care about. Sehun was just tired. Now that he was older, he was also expected to attend more after parties and company events that involved alcohol and sometimes lasted later into the night after an already long day of being a public figure. He used to envy the older members who seemed to be making so many new connections at these events but now he just wished he could have gone home early.
These parties were particularly dry for him because as the maknae of EXO, he still had a reputation to uphold. He was only allowed to drink socially when personally offered and the rest of the time, he just had to stand around and make small talk with other idols in the same shoes or with entertainment industry personnel who would reek of expensive champagne.
When would he be allowed to go home? He cast a quick look at the clock. It was only 12:40AM. . This ordeal seems longer every year. As he allowed his eyes to roam the room, he suddenly noticed a shock of blond hair that he didn’t notice before. He focuses past the moving bodies in the dim ballroom and sees a face he didn’t think would be here.
Luhan.
Luhan was sitting by the bar, chatting up a small group of powerful entertainment moguls with his warm social graces and easy smiles. Luhan, the one who left EXO and left Sehun 4 years ago. The same one that broke his heart to a million different pieces that were never picked up again. Now he is perched there so innocently, walking back into Sehun’s life as if he hadn’t disappeared from it for 4 years.
Sehun knew it was a long time ago. With time, all wounds can be healed right? Sehun had long grown from the stubborn little boy that he was when Luhan had left. It took a long time for Sehun to accept that Luhan was happier pursuing his real passions in China but part of him still remembers the emptiness and abandonment he had originally felt.
When Luhan first told him about his plans to leave, Sehun tried to talk him out of it. He was just 20 at the time and wanted Luhan selfishly to himself. He went as far as to ignore the Chinese boy for a few days prior to his leaving. He saw the hurt in the latter’s eyes but he was too consumed by his own feelings to care. Perhaps seeing his pain brought Sehun some type of consolation for how he made him feel.
Sehun had shed tears in private after the Chinese singer had left. Luhan had tried to contact him but the boy was too young to understand how to react and generally avoided all topics involving the doe eyed boy.
In the span of 4 years, their busy schedules led them to very different paths. EXO became one of the most well-known kpop groups, following in the footsteps of their sunbaes such as TVXQ and Big Bang. Luhan had focused on other pursuits in China and Japan and quickly took over the Chinese entertainment market with grace. His albums all reached number one in the Asian charts while his movies all became box office hits. Everyone in China and even Japan knew his name.
Whenever Sehun heard about his accomplishments, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of pride for his former love. He knew that Luhan was doing what he really wanted to do now and came to accept the reality that he was happier and was more successful as a solo artist.
Sehun contemplated going up to him for a little bit. It had been so long since they talked and Luhan looked as young and beautiful as the day they had met. He stalled for time a little bit, making idle conversation and pretending to listen to the guy in front of him with interest. As he noticed the last of the phone numbers and business cards being exchanged, he excused himself and made his way across the room to the bar.
“Is this seat taken?” He stood behind the bar stool that was next to Luhan.
He seemed to startle Luhan as he turned around with a small jump. His mouth formed a small ‘o’ as it often did whenever he was surprised.
“It is now.” The blond gave him a fond smile as he sat down beside him. “It’s been a while Sehun-ah.”
“Yup, four years. How have you been, hyung?”
“Oh you know, same as always. What about you? You’re all grown up now!” Luhan punched him playfully as Sehun coyly tried to shake his head. “So tall now. Did you grow even more? I’m jealous.” Luhan laughed as he put his arm around the other’s shoulders and rubbed the younger’s neck fondly as he often used to do.
Sehun had grown and filled out his suits better now too. People often complimented him on looking more grown up now. He was no longer the lanky teeneager he once was. He began working out more and more and had a lot more muscle mass on his arms and maintained his abs from dance.
“You look good too, hyung.” Sehun laughed. It felt just like old times. Luhan’s hands stopped and lingered on the back of his neck for a beat longer before placing it back at his side, eyes never leaving Sehun’s. “What are you doing here?”
“My company is thinking about expanding my activities in Korea so I came here to network a little.”
“Network? Everyone here probably knows who you are.”
“Ok, I’m on a mission to kiss . You caught me.” Luhan’s eyes twinkled, sarcasm heavy in his voice.
Sehun chuckled. Same old Luhan.
“Congratulations on the award, by the way. You guys have been doing well.” Luhan said.
“Thanks. Unfortunately, there’s no award big enough to get me out of this party.” Sehun sighed. “We had a long practice before the award ceremony and now I still can’t catch a break.”
Luhan wrinkled his nose. “Oh yeah. I almost forgot how tedious these things were for you guys. Too stiff.”
“Yeah tell me about it. I don’t know how you did it for so long. You had to go to everything since you were the face for M.”
“Loosen up, Sehun-ah. I always took a few shots before these things.”
“Yeah but it’s frowned upon since I’m the maknae.” Sehun pouted.
“What are they going to do? Frown at you?” Luhan raised his eyebrow with a mischievous smile. “Since it’s been so long, let me treat you.” He waved over the bartender. “What do you want to drink?”
Sehun looked around him quickly and realized that they actually couldn’t do anything except frown at him and tell him not to. Besides, someone is inviting him to drink so it’s not like he’s the initiator.
“Anything works.”
Luhan pondered for a second. “Two whiskey sours then, please.”
The bartender nodded and went ahead to make their drinks.
“Whiskey sours are slightly better than just straight up liquor. If I remember right, you hated the taste back then right?”
Luhan was right. Sehun had been so young at the time, barely 20, and whenever he would drink in secret with the other members, he always chose sweeter drinks or beer. Things were different now though. Sehun was 24. 4 years have changed him a lot. But Sehun nodded, somewhat happy that Luhan would remember this little detail and didn’t want to correct him on his preferences now.
The Sehun that Luhan remembered was young and inexperienced but it was his Sehun, who loved him more than anything in the world.
The drinks were slid across the bar to the two. As Luhan picked up one and raised it to him, he did the same.
“Cheers to… Hmm.” Luhan thought for a second. “Cheers to EXO doing so well?”
Sehun wrinkled his nose. “How about cheers to seeing each other again after so long?”
Luhan revealed a smile that took Sehun back to that day 5 years ago when he had first told his favorite hyung about his feelings for him. “Cheers to that then.”
They talk for a little bit like everything was still alright. It was small talk but it was also catching up with each others’ lives. Luhan would talk about acting in major movies and what being on a movie set was like. Sehun, who was just breaking into acting roles on dramas, would absorb every word and talk about how EXO was now. A few more drinks later, which Luhan insisted upon, Sehun could tell that the blonde doe-eyed boy was tipsy. Even though Luhan was older, his alcohol tolerance was never very high. He had good composure but Sehun knew intimately what he was like whenever the alcohol kicked in. Luhan was being a lot more comfortable around him and was touchy with him again, and his glazed over round orbs were a dead giveaway.
“Wow, it’s already 1:30.” Luhan pointed out.
Sehun looked at his wristwatch to confirm. “It doesn’t feel like it.”
“See? I told you these things went by faster if you loosen up.” Luhan laughed.
The younger rolled his eyes with a grin. “I don’t think that’s it.”
“What do you mean then?”
“I mean, it’s a lot more fun talking to you.” All too quick, Sehun’s face looked too serious. His grin was gone and so was the youthful Sehun that Luhan had remembered. It wasn’t a boy who was sitting beside him, no. Sehun was a man now. And the look that Sehun gave him made Luhan’s breath hitch as the mood suddenly turned serious. A few seconds went by where neither of them moved or talked. Both held their breath, anticipating each others’ next action.
Luhan was the first to break eye contact by looking down to fidget with his phone. “I’m getting tired so I think I’m going to head back to my hotel.”
Sehun looked down as well, dejected. He was disappointed that he was only able to see the blonde for such a short amount of time. There was still so much to say, bottled up inside Sehun for the past 4 years.
“I’m staying at the Park Hyatt. 1103.”
This made Sehun look up, slightly surprised. Was this an invitation? Luhan only gave him a tight grin before gracefully excusing himself. Sehun watched as the only person he’s ever had on his mind walked away from him for what could be the second time. No, this wouldn’t be the second time. Sehun wouldn’t let that happen again. He was no longer a child, and he knew he wasn’t about to wait another 4 years to see Luhan again. So he finished the rest of his drink, said some early goodbyes to various people, and hailed a cab.
“Good evening sir, where would you like to go?”
“Park Hyatt.”
The hotel was fairly empty, which was good for Sehun because he did not want to be spotted. Fans were nosy and followed him everywhere with camera as soon as they recognized him. Sometimes, all he wanted was a little privacy.
He made his way up to 11th floor, which seemed to be the top floor of the building and slowly but deliberately made his way to 1103 at the end of the hall. He was anxious to get there but he kept his pace slow due to the pit in his stomach. The anticipation drove him crazy but a part of him was also scared. He tries to chase it away, mentally berating himself to man up, but it’s nerve-wracking seeing the older male again.
He stops at the door and sees it ajar. He pushes it slowly and tentatively takes a look around the room. The room was dim, with only a lamp . He could clearly make out that this was a penthouse suite though as the giant glass walls of the living room revealed the beautiful Seoul lights below. In front of the window stood Luhan, with his back to him. His frame looked so frail and small in the luxury of the penthouse. He looked too small against the backdrop of the busy city streets.
Luhan had turned around after hearing Sehun step into the room. He had been nursing a glass filled with a deep mahogany* liquid. Their eyes met and Sehun felt his breath hitch. It definitely wasn’t the first time they saw each other that night but every look felt like the first—even four years later. Luhan still had an ethereal youthfulness about him that still wouldn’t leave.
“Sehun.” He said, almost as if asking a question. Part of Luhan’s mind had doubt that Sehun would come.
Sehun crossed the room slowly, as if compelled by an invisible force towards the blonde. Hesitantly, he cupped Luhan’s face and ran his thumbs slowly against the smooth pale skin. Sehun could see the laugh lines etched into his face that were slightly deeper now—as a result of four years in the limelight, Sehun believes. However, this doesn’t reduce any of Luhan’s beauty, as he stares up through thick lashes with those large doe eyes of his. They look so worn out, so filled with uncertainty. Sehun felt almost as if touching him would hurt him. He looked so small in that moment, he was sure the boy would fall apart at the slightest touch.
Sehun wanted nothing more than to wrap the boy in his arms and make him forget about all the unhappiness in life. More than anything, he wanted to make him forget about the pain that he had caused. Everything that had happened since Luhan left EXO—from failing to consider his wants, for refusing to keep in contact with him, to being so cold-hearted towards the most genuine person he’s ever met—was his fault. He had put up a wall even though the other members tried to stay in touch because of his pride. He wanted to convey so many thoughts, about how he’s changed and all the words that he owed the older, but he still didn’t know how. He wanted to talk and let it all spill out but he had no words and he was getting frustrated at himself for being the same scared Sehun from back then.
The tall brunette was at a loss for words but he did the only thing that felt natural to do, he hugged him. Luhan fit into his body perfectly and it just felt right again—as if that’s where he belonged. Luhan was surprised at this sudden hug but slowly eased into it. It felt wrong, especially after so many years, but he couldn’t pull away.
“I’m sorry.” The taller said into the crook of Luhan’s neck. “I’m so sorry about the last few years. I never meant to hurt you. I just—“
Sehun’s voice was barely a whisper. “I just wanted to be with you forever.” He lifted where his head had been resting so that he could look at Luhan while he talked. “I was so stupid and immature and I know apologies will never make up for what I’ve done. I couldn’t think straight whenever I thought that you wouldn’t be mine anymore and now look where it’s taken us.” He had a bitter grin on his lips.
Luhan took a few moments to let this information sink in. The younger was never good at expressing his feelings and hearing him articulate his thoughts for the first time was new. But Sehun’s expression resembled that of a kicked puppy and Luhan couldn’t help but tilt his head upwards to press their lips together in a soft kiss.
“I’ll always be yours, Sehun-ah. No matter what.”
Sehun’s eyes were wide as he felt the light pressure on his lips disappear as quickly as if it had been a dream. But no, Sehun wasn’t dreaming. He had dreamt so many times about what would happen if they meet again but this was better than any dream: he finally had Luhan in front of him.
“But why?” Sehun regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. “I don’t deserve you. Why aren’t you more mad?”
Luhan sighed. “I’m not going to lie, I was upset for a while but it was me that left.”
“You left to pursue your passions and I should’ve supported that. Instead, I was selfish and I hurt you. You should be mad. You have every right to be, Luhan, I understand.” Sehun could feel himself raise his voice now as he let the slew of insecurities flow out of his mouth.
“And because afterwards I realized that I love only you. So I couldn’t stay mad at you.”
Sehun was speechless. Luhan knitted his eyebrows together slightly, a habit whenever he was worried.
“Only me?” Sehun managed to choke out.
Luhan gave him a pointed look, not wanting to repeat himself.
“Yes, Sehun, on—“ His words were cut short as Sehun pressed him into a bruising kiss. He pushed the blonde backwards until he could trap his smaller frame with his own against the glass wall. They kissed messily until they both had to pull back for air.
Sehun lowered his head so that their foreheads touched and they stared at each other while catching their breath. His hands rested on the shorter’s hips while the latter found his hands in familiar brunette locks.
“I’ve never stopped thinking about you for a day, hyung. I’m sorry it took me so long to say this but I really love you Luhan.”
Luhan just smiled the smile that Sehun knew was specifically reserved for him and pressed their lips together again.
Bzzz.
Bzzz.
Sehun groaned softly as he reached over to the nightstand towards the source of the noise, feeling around with his eyes still closed until his hands closed in on his phone. The vibrate function should not be as loud as it is. He had every desire to just turn his phone off but he knew that he couldn’t. He already stayed out last night instead of returning to the hotel where the rest of EXO stayed and although Sehun was a fully capable adult, he knew that they—as well as the manager—would be worried.
He clicked the home button on his phone and saw his phone screen come to life. He looked over to where Luhan was still sleeping peacefully beside him and tried to shine the light from the phone away from his direction to not disturb his sleep. There was a whole slew of notifications, mostly from Joonmyun and the manager.
Joonmyun 3:24am:
“OK you’re probably sleeping now but message me when you wake up ok Sehunnie?”
Joonmyun 3:15am:
“I know you’re being safe but text us so we know where you are!”
Manager Hyung 2:13am:
“Where are you?”
Joonmyun 2:10am:
“Sehun when did you leave?”
The rest of the texts from the two contained somewhat of the same content so he just scrolled past them. He knew the two were probably worried so he sent a quick text to Joonmyun saying that he would be back later knowing that the leader would take care of things for him until he got back.
Bzzz.
Baekhyun just sent him a text message. Sehun looked over at the sleeping boy beside him and wanted just to throw away his phone so that he could just enjoy lying in the bed next to him. He was about to put it back on the nightstand but a few more buzzes from his phone got on his nerves.
This better be important, Baekhyun.
He unlocked his phone to open the picture message from Baekhyun and saw a picture of him and Luhan sitting at the bar together. They had been careful, taking different cabs to go to the hotel right after leaving the venue. Sehun even told the driver to take an unnecessarily long route so that they wouldn’t show up at the hotel at the same time. But it was fine, right? There’s no scandal behind sitting at the bar together.
Baekhyun 10:21am:
Dude seriously, look at Twitter
Baekhyun 10:21am:
HAHAHAHA
Baekhyun 10:20am:
Good for you maknae LOL
Wearily, he opened his Twitter app and didn’t have to scroll down very far to understand what Baekhyun was talking about. He followed various Twitters including news, tabloids, and even fan accounts just to see what was being said about EXO so when he scrolled down this morning, all he saw were pictures of him and Luhan. Clicking on the search button, he saw that #hunhan had been trending.
He would have groaned if he didn’t find it almost cute. Fans were everywhere, especially since they were such high profile celebrities now. People managed to get pictures of Luhan and Sehun entering the hotel separately and they have most likely been wildly speculating about the whole thing. Fan speculations were often more fantasy than reality but considering that this was actually true and that it could put their careers on the line made Sehun a little worried.
The blond next to him stirred and rubbed his eyes groggily before slowly opening his doe eyes. Sehun turned over to face him and felt his breath taken away at Luhan’s beauty. In that moment, he threw all the worries away from his head; if losing his career meant waking up to Luhan everyday then it would be worth it.
Luhan’s lips curved upwards slightly into a form a soft but contagious smile. Luhan was the most breath-taking not while wearing makeup or with his hair styled, but it was when he was waking up.
“Morning, Sehunnie.”
*_* Hi beautiful people <3
I appreciate y'all for reading this oneshot~
It was supposed to be slightly longer (and rated M) but I could not, for the life of me, write an M rated scene. I really really tried but I literally could not T_T sighhhhhhhh. I hope it's just as good as tho without the smexing c:
As always, comments and tumblr follows are loved ^^
Love y'all so much~ thanks for being with me on this journey of writing this summer!
Comments