Jongin was checking on his twitter feed when it happened; absentmindedly chatting with some of his mutuals about the latest hot anime when he suddenly receives a new notification from YouTube. He makes a tiny squeal far above his normal vocal range.

“Sorry guys I HAVE TO GO. It’s D.O,” he types in quickly as he feels his heart rate pick up. They already know the drill and didn’t need any further explanation. D.O before bros. Before anything honestly. He stares at the notification forlornly for a second, trying to mentally prepare himself for doom. He reads through every word in the title carefully, grinning a little bit when he sees it’s yet another Justin Bieber cover, this time of D.O’s new song “Sorry.” Jongin’s already impressed as he clicks play, hitting the ‘Like’ button on instinct. D.O had made an arrangement to the song after it had dropped in less than two days. “That’s my boy,” Jongin whispers to himself before realizing what he said and slapped himself lightly.

He sees the familiar torso on screen, this time in a light blue shirt, contrary to his usual varying shades of gray and other dark colors. He stares at D.O’s chin intently as he sings, trying to catch a glimpse of those heart shaped lips that he admires so much. He’s not a ert though, definitely not, as he tries to convince himself. His attention shifts back to the guitar that covers half of the singer’s body and the fingers strumming it confidently. A high note caused the singer’s neck muscles to expand a little and the light caused Jongin’s attention to shift towards a hidden mole, right below his chin on Jongin’s left. He let out a gasp as he noticed it, and it captured his attention for the duration of the video until the end when finally D.O’s lips came into view in a small half smile as he thanked his viewers. Jongin knew he was in too deep when he felt the familiar warm feeling in his chest, the feeling of pride and admiration that he felt whenever he heard D.O’s amazing voice. Jongin hadn’t payed attention to half the song (guess he’d just have to watch it again, woe is him), as he has mixed in other feelings that he’d rather not put a name to. He scrolled down to the comment section, unsurprised at the incoming flood of positive reviews, as he prepared to write his own small encouraging response:

“You did great hyung ^^ keep working hard.”

Jongin has been writing comments shortly after he first subscribed to D.O’s channel. It had been almost a year since he searched up covers of the song “With You” to do a choreography for a project, and had coincidentally stumbled upon the unknown boy. He’d been smitten by the boy’s voice and immediately subscribed. At first he hadn’t left any comments of a sort, but as a week passed, nothing but that specific composition was ingrained in his mind and he could no longer listen to the original. Jongin decided to go tell this D.O exactly how he had ruined his life by being so amazing, and when he saw that said person has uploaded another video that same morning, he’d never clicked play on anything so quickly.

He never really got around to writing his complaint and instead settled on writing a short encouragement: “I love how you arrange these songs into your own style. You’re very talented.”

Five more videos passed and with steadily rising popularity and the comments section flooded with endless questions, D.O finally posted a much requested Q&A video. A fan by the user name of “Sehun’s ” (Sehun being another popular YouTuber, Jongin lost it when he saw their name) had asked D.O if they would ever get to see his face. D.O had replied that he wouldn’t show it just yet, and not to get their expectations too high as he wasn’t that good looking, although Jongin had to protest at that: he was one-hundred percent convinced that D.O had to be the most attractive person on the planet. He also learned that D.O was actually older than Jongin, which was quite surprising; and after much deliberation and arguing with himself in front of the mirror he decided to start calling the other “hyung” in his comments after seeing that the other was also Korean. It wasn’t like D.O would ever notice him anyways and he may as well show his respect.

Jongin told himself he wasn’t obsessed, he really tried to convince himself he wasn’t. He tried to leave small encouraging comments once every two videos. He had not turned into a fanboy for a Youtuber. The thought was preposterous. That’s what he’d told his friends at least. But then his friends just laughed at him and told him he was the biggest fanboy there ever was. After that betrayal he took it to social media, where his friends on there only added to Jongin’s mortification by saying he probably had the way his fingers were shaped memorized. He, of course denied the accusation, to which his nosy friend Jongdae butted in with a comment of, “Yeah right you told me all about how you’re worried that he bites his nails too often”

He was honestly asking to get blocked.

Jongin only unblocked him later after Jongdae offered a picture that he took of a boy from their high school, Kyungsoo, at the choir meeting they had last week. Kyungsoo had always been Jongin’s crush ever since he set his eyes on him at freshman orientation, but he never had the guts to talk to him. They had plenty of shared friends, so there were many opportunities, but they never shared more than a simple greeting. With Kyungsoo being pretty shy and popular, so it was pretty difficult to keep his attention for a long time. Now that they are at their senior year Jongin couldn’t help but lament all the lost time. But besides, he didn’t even know if Kyungsoo was gay, he’d reasoned with himself many times, ignoring Jongdae’s annoying voice yelling, “He’s gay bro. I’ve told you this a thousand times.”

Months passed since then and Jongin had finally admitted his obsession with D.O and was now letting himself freely comment on all of his videos. His friends were taking collateral damage, as they got to hear every detail about how amazing D.O was. He even had a list of songs he felt that D.O should cover, and hoped to send it to him one day. Amongst that list was one of Jongin’s favorite songs, “Beautiful Goodbye” by Korean singer G.Soul. He’s been working on a choreographed piece to that song for a while as his senior project, and he really hoped that Kyungsoo would stumble on it and do a cover so he could use that as his audio instead, but the chances were too slim. Jongdae suggested that he should do a cover himself, since he said Jongin’s voice would match the song well. He brushed the idea off with a laugh then but as December rolled around and he found himself bored at home during break, the thought came creeping back.

And so he set up his camera (that he used to film dance practices with) near his window to get some good lighting, played the audio with the vocals removed and sang. He made sure to record up to his lips though, in true D.O fashion. He uploaded the video to his neglected YouTube channel “KimKaiiii” and finally put a picture on his icon, one of him crawling on the ground facing down. It was a shot that his friend had snagged at one of his performances that he was rather fond of. Jongin sent the link to Jongdae with the caption, “You happy now?” When he didn’t get a response after a few minutes he began to panic a bit, “Jongdae… I know I’m not a good singer, I’m not a singer at all, but it can’t be that bad can it? Please say something.”

He received an immediate reply, “Shut up kid. I’m crying. You’re good, I’m proud.”

The joy he’d felt upon reading that was enormous. He still didn’t think he was all that great, but his friend was proud and that was all that mattered.

He didn’t think that by the next morning his cover had passed a thousand views. He screeched and rushed to read the comments section thinking, “Oh my God I probably have a ton of hate, I’m so bad I can’t believe I made this public what was I thinking.” Only to stop when he read the support. Yes there were a few haters, but honestly they’re everywhere, and a lot of well-meaning critique, which he appreciated as it was his first time really trying to sing. But for the most part, everyone loved it. He was in total shock.

His other friend Baekhyun messaged him later that day, “Dude Dae showed me your cover and it was really good but you’re like famous now? Congrats ;)”

“Lol thanks but I’m not,” he replied.

“Ya you are. So do you think you can like introduce me to your friend Chanyeol any time soon cuz…”

Jongin rolled his eyes at his friend’s typical behavior before answering back a, “Do it yourself,” and went back to listening to D.O’s covers.

It was at a winter break party at Chanyeol’s that he finally talked to him; Kyungsoo that is. They were both friends with the giant, Chanyeol being a band kid and Kyungsoo being in choir, and Jongin having known the drummer since Middle School. Jongin wasn't surprised to run into Kyungsoo since practically the entire music and theater department were there, but he hadn't expected Kyungsoo to call for him after they greeted each other, instead of him turning away like he usually did.

Kyungsoo’s voice was quiet as he spoke to Jongin, but the latter knew it could get louder, especially when he was yelling at Baekhyun. They made small talk, and it was a bit awkward but Jongin couldn't be happier, his face placed in a permanent smile. The way Kyungsoo stuttered and instantly looked away whenever they made contact made his heart melt. And those lips, those beautiful lips that stretched as he talked and formed a heart when he smiled, how he’d love to touch them and see if they were as soft as they looked. As Jongin looked at his lips (he was definitely paying attention to what he was talking about) he was suddenly struck by a strange sense of familiarity. Which was odd because he’d known Kyungsoo for four years now, yet he couldn't help but feel as though he knew him from elsewhere…

“Jongin are you ok?” Kyungsoo questioned and said boy instantly snapped his attention back to him. “You suddenly stopped talking, and you're not smiling anymore…”

“Oh, oh yeah I'm cool, just got a bit distracted there maybe I'm tired.”

“Oh…” Jongin wondered why Kyungsoo sounded so disappointed as he glanced in the direction that Jongin had been looking while spaced out, he only saw a few girls though. “Well I guess I'll let you continue to enjoy the party. See you later Jongin.”

“Don't go,” Jongin wanted to say, but Kyungsoo had already slipped through the crowd. His night after that seemed dull in comparison to when he talked to Kyungsoo, although he did enjoy himself.

It only hit him once he was safely back home. “He said my name. Twice,” he practically squealed. He screamed into his pillow for good measure.

Two days later he was awakened by a notification from his phone early morning and he swore he was going to kill whoever it was. Then he saw that it was a notification from YouTube and that D.O had uploaded a new video. Jongin was supposed to get an early start on the day anyways and this wasn't that bad. It was a cover of “Boyfriend,” but this time instead of going straight into the song D.O started off talking to them.

“A few days ago I finally gathered the courage to talk to my crush. It was a bit awkward but honestly it was the best time of my life. But I don't know if they like me at all though, I'm not that great in real life. They're one of the hottest people in our class, and I'm pretty plain...I'm hoping I didn't bore them but I think I might have. But everytime I hear this song it makes me think of them, and I hope one day I'll be able to sing it to them in person.”

D.O’s confession brought tears to his eyes, and as he sang the song with so much love in his voice he couldn't help but outright bawl. D.O’s experience reminded him so much of his interaction with Kyungsoo at the party, and all of the emotions he felt. He wished he could be honest with himself, with his emotions and desires. He wanted to do something instead of wallowing in his stagnant life and waiting for someone else to make a move. And what better place to start than to finally confess his admiration for his favorite YouTuber?

And so as the video ended and D.O thanked them all again, with a promise of “Love Yourself” in the future, he pulled up the comments bar and began to type:

KimKaiiii
D.O hyung, I've been a fan of yours since you first started with your cover of “With You,” and ever since then I've been been in love with you your voice. I've watched you grow here on YouTube, and every step you took I've taken with you. As a result I’ve known you to be a very beautiful person both inside and out and a person who cares very much for his fans, his Penguins. Your crush would have to be blind to not see that. You inspired me hyung, and I'm sure you've inspired many more. Thank you for that, I'll always love and support you.

He hit send before he chickened out. He watched anxiously as a few people seemed to like the comment and someone replied a few heart emojis before the comment got buried in the incoming stream. He let out a sigh of relief before glancing up at D.O’s icon a drawing of eyes wearing cute round glasses. If D.O’s eyes looked anything like that in real life it just confirmed that he was the cutest boy alive. “Cuter than Kyungsoo?” A voice in his head questioned (since when did his conscious sound like Jongdae?). He told it to shut up.

The next morning he was certainly not expecting a notification for a YouTube message. He hadn’t even known YouTube HAD a dm system honestly. But that surprise was nothing compared to when he read the preview and who it was from. Two letters that sent his heart and phone flying. He pulled out his computer and opened YouTube to double check, but the message was still there. Along with a new comment on his cover.

D.O
You did great! I love your voice and the song is really nice!

Jongin was dead. He was sure of it. He must've died in his sleep. He called Baekhyun for good measure, since the boy was an early riser thanks to his active housemate Minseok who goes to the college nearby, and was surprised when he didn't receive a response. Now Jongin was sure he was dead, Baekhyun never misses the chance to annoy someone. He called Jongdae next and thankfully he answered, “What do you want kid it's early.”

“Jongdae. Please scream in my ear.”

The mighty roar brought him back to his senses. “Dae…” he cried into the phone, “D.O…”

Jongdae sighed, “Did he do another cover?”

He couldn't even get the words out, “He… I, he messaged me. And saw my cover. He liked it. Oh my god I think he shared it on twitter, I'm getting a ton of views Jongdae am I dead I can't breathe?”

The other line was silent for a few seconds before the other exhaled and whispered, “Holy . I'm coming over don't move.”

True to his word Jongdae was at Jongin’s door in a record time of ten minutes, during which Jongin had managed to make himself into a blanket burrito, his laptop still displaying the unanswered comment and message. He felt the bed dip as the older boy sat at the edge of his bed and looked at his computer, “You weren't kidding. He noticed you.” Jongin let out a dying cat sound at that. “What are you gonna reply? Be sure to keep it cool though you can't ask the guy to marry you right away.”

“I don't know? I haven't even opened the message yet…”

“I'll read it to you then. ‘Hey KimKaiiii’, nice name loser, ‘thank you so much for your support, it means a lot,’ cute smiley emoji that's not as cute as me, ‘I've noticed you on my videos for a while now actually, as I do take the time to read the comments when I need a pick me up, and yours never fail to make me smile. I'm honestly in awe that you have so much admiration for me. Thank you. You're good too! You must be a natural if that was your first attempt at singing, I would love to hear more. And that song was really nice. You gave me hope to keep trying with my crush. I was ready to give up on him, so thank you for that. I hope you have a nice day!’ Aww that's cute see I told you you were good.”

Jongin let out a wheeze after he was done reading before rolling off the bed, blankets and all.
“Kim Jongin, I swear I will dump a bucket of water on you if you don't pull yourself together and reply back.”

He knew Jongdae would be capable, so he begrudgingly got back up on the bed and out of his blanket haven. Jongdae's face softened for a second, “Look, you take your time and write something and I'll go help your mom make breakfast and bring you some. But if you're not done by the time I get back…” Jongin nodded nervously as the other left his room.

He sighed and looked at the computer ruefully before starting his response.

KimKaiiii
I'm having a very nice day thanks to you. You almost gave me a heart attack honestly, this is beyond the wildest thing I could've imagined, forgive my fanboying. Honestly I had you in mind when I sang that cover as it was a song that I had hoped you would sing someday. Thank you for your compliments! I hope to be as good as you someday. Don't give up hyung! I'm sure your crush will notice you soon! But I'm sorry did you say “him” on purpose? Not that there's anything wrong with that I mean I'm gay but I just wanted to make sure. Uh yeah. You're awesome.

Jongin wanted to throw himself out the window as Jongdae came back in with breakfast, “Dae I'm so lame I sound like a blabbering ten year old.”

“Glad you finally knew what you sound like to the rest of us.”

If it weren't a waste he would’ve thrown an egg at him.

Jongdae left shortly for his job and Jongin was working on his senior project piece when a ding interrupted him. It was a reply back.

D.O
Lol you're cute. Ah… that honestly slipped I didn't notice until I sent it, but yes. I meant “him.” Honestly I was really nervous about sending that but I'm glad you're pretty cool. And I don't think I could do that song justice! Pretty sure it was meant for you.”

He wasted no time in answering, “I'm pretty sure I'm not the cute one amongst us... Oh well yeah don't worry I'm a really open person lol. Thanks I'm kinda crying??? I'm actually more of a dancer and I'm gonna perform with that song in a few weeks for my senior project.” He was pretty sure that this was considered flirting but he was too happy to be having a conversation with D.O that he didn't even care.

D,O
I'm not that cute I assure you. But hey that's awesome! That's kinda funny, my crush is a dancer too. He's one of the best I've ever seen tbh, better than the pros. No offense lol, I'm sure you're great too. How about once you do it you post it up so I can see? If you don't mind.”

Jongin agreed of course, and was even more motivated. D.O was going to see, so it had to be perfect. They kept talking about random things throughout their winter, and Jongin was surprised to find that besides being an avid Justin Bieber fan, D.O was also a huge anime geek just like him and even lived in the same city. They promised to meet up soon. They bonded over their shared interests and Jongin quickly felt like he could call him a friend.

When school started again and the Winter Rally that he would be performing at drew nearer, he couldn't help but start getting more and more nervous. His friend and fellow dancer Yixing assured him that the dance is great, and that he had faith in his judgement. They worked together to perfect the hip hop aspects of his dance, as it is Yixing’s speciality. Eventually, the day arrived. His friends kept cheering him on all day but he was so nervous he could hardly eat.

As Jongin waited anxiously outside the main gym for his turn, a shadow snapped him out of his trance. He looked up to see Kyungsoo, but the latter was looking anywhere but at him. “Uh… Baekhyun told me you hadn't eaten anything all day and well… I'd baked you some cookies for good luck, you should eat some before you go on, maybe they'll give you strength? Yeah. Good Luck.” Kyungsoo placed the cookies down next to Jongin before walking towards the gym entrance. Jongin watched as the older boy scratched the back of his neck like how he did when he was nervous.

“Thank you Kyungsoo!” he called out before the other was gone, causing him to startle. He turned around and gave him one of those adorable heart shaped smiles and suddenly Jongin felt like he could conquer the world. He ate the cookies with a peaceful mind, thinking about how he had to make Kyungsoo proud. Jongin heard his cue and went out to the floor, finding the boy in the crowd and locking eyes with him briefly before the music started to play.

He was so shocked that he almost didn't start dancing however, because the track that was playing was not G.Soul’s voice, but rather his own. And he really was gonna kill Jongdae and Baekhyun because those two had volunteered to turn his music in for him. But it was too late now, he thought as he executed a perfect turn, he just hoped no one would notice anything off about the song. Before he knew it he had finished and everyone was cheering for him. He glared and Baekhyun and Jongdae on his way out, the two doing various cute things and hearts at him as they laughed. He couldn't spot Kyungsoo anymore however, he would have to find him later and thank him. Maybe even confess?

Jongin was startled by a notification sound coming from his pocket and hurriedly opened it. When he saw that it was from D.O, he sat on a bench outside of the gym as he read.

“Hey remember how we said we would meet? How about right now. Come to the SM high school choir room.”

Jongin’s heart stopped, as his mind was racing with questions while he ran into the music building. D.O went to his high school? How had he recognized him? Had he seen him perform earlier?

He practically broke the doors open with how fast he was running, skidding to a halt. Once he was inside the choir room, Jongin noticed a lone figure in the room and it couldn't be, surely his eyes were playing tricks on him because there stood, “Kyungsoo?”

Mentioned boy smiled warily at him, “Hi Jongin. Or should I say KimKaiiii?”

“You're D.O?” he questioned, to which he received a nod. He plopped down on a chair, the adrenaline rush from both performing and running and now this discovery was too much.

“I'm sorry if I'm not what you expected Jongin. I told you I wasn't all that special…” Kyungsoo started, but Jongin immediately cut him off, standing up and approaching where the other boy stood.

“Kyungsoo no. Don't say that, this is even better than what I could have ever imagined. You're the most special person ever and I wouldn't change a thing about you. I love your voice, how it's deep and quiet but loud whenever you're with friends. I love your eyes, the way they're so round and cute, and how it looks as though you're glaring at people but you just can't see anything without your glasses. This isn't really how I wanted to do this but… I guess what I want to say is I love you Do Kyungsoo, and I have for a few years now.” He shyly took the older boy's hands as he said the last part, waiting for a reaction, “And thank you for the cookies, I would have died without them.”

Jongin yelped when he suddenly felt two (surprisingly muscular) arms wrap around him.

“I love you too Jongin. I have ever since I first saw you dance at the recital during freshman year.”

“Really?” he received a nod, “Well I liked you since orientation freshman year,” as Jongin finished with a mischievous smile.

Kyungsoo smacked him on the head, “Don't get cheeky Jongin,” but his face was bright red.

They were interrupted by a sudden applause at the doorway and turned around to see Jongdae, Baekhyun, and even Chanyeol, though the tall boy looked slightly apologetic so Baekhyun probably dragged him along. Jongin felt bad for him being stuck with Baekhyun now, ever since they had gotten together at Chanyeol's party.

“Took you two long enough!” Baekhyun yelled at them, and Kyungsoo tried to hide behind Jongin, who also wanted to melt because why was Kyungsoo so precious? He had been right, D.O was the cutest boy alive.

Jongdae suddenly pointed his camera at them chanting, “Kiss, kiss, kiss!” and Jongin really hoped he hadn't been recording the whole time or else he really might die. But as he glanced down at Kyungsoo and his cute shy smile, he figured dying after this wouldn't be too bad.