BACK TO LOVE
Back to Love
7:30
Gotta catch that plane at 7:30
Why haven't you come to say goodbye
Time is running out and I'm still waiting
I'm so lost without you, I could die
Yesterday you said you loved me
Everything seemed to be fine
Today you're not here, I'm so lonely
It's the waiting that's driving me out of my mind
Donghae’s POV:
The day I wished to not come has finally arrived.
It was cold and calm morning. The sun was still hiding behind thick clouds when I arrived at the airport an hour before my actual flight. The mood inside the airport creeps in my bones that I wanted to back out from chasing my dreams and go back to where I supposed to be. But if I ran away, my dreams would never be realized. So I chose to stay.
I sat on the bench while waiting for my girl to come. It was melancholy inside or shall I say I was just the one being melancholic as I saw people passing by with happy faces. It was true; I was feeling unhappy because I have to learn to live alone and away from my loved ones and friends. It might be hard for me to start a brand new life in a foreign land.
The clock continuously ticking and I found no enough time for us to maximize the remaining time that we have together. But I still wished that at least for one second I could kiss her goodbye.
Before negative thoughts completely invaded me, I decided to call Jessica to know where she was exactly. I heard the continuous ringing of her phone yet she didn’t bother answering it. “Come on…pick it up…” I whispered under her breath. And then I tried contacting it over and over again until I heard a voice prompt saying to leave a message after the beep.
I didn’t want to think that something bad happened to my girl that she didn’t pick up her phone. I tried calling her mother instead. The phone kept on ringing before someone answered it—“Hello?”
“Aunt? Is Jessica there?” I asked, controlling my panic.
“She leaves so early, godson.” Aunt said.
“Did she mention that she’ll be going somewhere else?” I asked again.
“Yes. She said she’ll be seeing you at the airport.” Aunt answered very straight. But I wondered where she had been.
“She’s no—“was all I could utter when someone patted me on the shoulder. I turned around and I was lost for words when I saw Jessica standing right in front of me. “What took you so long?” I asked her.
“I’m so hesitant to go because I can’t afford to see you go…” She said as tears started forming at the corners of her eyes.
“She’s here, Aunt. I’ll hang up now…” I said as I talked to her mother quickly before hanging up. “Thank God, you’re here. I’ll be so sad if I never have a chance to see you before I leave.” I said, cupping her chin before throwing my arms around her for a quick hug.
"Do you really make up your mind about this?" she asked, suddenly lowering her head-unhappy.
"Aren’t you happy? I'm on my first step in reaching my dreams?" I asked as I held both her hands and squeezed it lightly. I pretended happy as I did. I wore a wide grin though deep inside me I was breaking because of the fact that I hated to go and I hated to leave her alone.
Her eyes glistened as her tears started forming in the corners of her pretty eyes. "Can we really handle this relationship well when you're miles away from me?" was her question that stunned me.
And yes, for a while I thought of it. I didn’t know if we can make it but I never doubted that we can’t since we managed to wait for each other for years. "I never think that we can’t coz I know we can. Promise me that you will wait for me and I will promise to you that I will never loved anyone else except you." I said as I raised my pinkie finger.
She smiled while raising her pinkie finger before tangling it to mine and mumbled, "I promise".
The final call about the flight I was in started echoing inside that busy place. "It’s time...I have to go." I whispered as I tightly wrapped my arms around her. I smelled her familiarizing the smell of her hair and the baby cologne she was wearing. I closed my eyes as I wished time to stop.
I was in the middle of wishing when Jessica patted me on the back and said, "Take care. Don’t forget to send me text messages and e-mails." She detangled her arms around me and wiped her tears quickly when we faced each other for the last time.
"While Im away, take care of your self and take care of my heart." I said as I left a warm goodbye kiss on her cheek.
I finally walked on and decided not to look back because if I ever turned my back, I might forget the reason why I have to leave.
Dreams that I wanted to build not just for my self and my family, but for my future with the woman I truly loved. I knew that as we part we will face lots of challenges that will test us as an individual and as a couple. But whatever happens ahead of us I will always look back to our first meeting—remembering our memories. We might lose our way once or twice, but I know we will always find a way to each other's arms.
It was exactly 7:30 when I left the country.
It was exactly 7:30 when I left my girl in a place where parting and goodbyes were very common.
It was 7:30 when I started living my life dependently.
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