But... there is something I’ve learned. Actually, the word something is an understatement. I’ve learned a lot! You know, I never thought filming for a variety show can take so long! The last three mornings I’ve spent with DaeSung and SeungRi have been...  fascinating. When they were having a break or when SeungRi stopped hitting on anything with two legs and no moustache, he can be pretty funny. Not to mention DaeSung just won’t stop talking! I used that to my advantage of course. When he wasn’t cracking jokes, I was digging the dirt on the other boys... just so I can use it against them... I know, brilliant isn’t it?

 

They are now officially my best friends and at the very top of my good people list! You see, I enjoy gossips. And when they were telling me about all the awful things their hyungs have done to them, I couldn’t be any happier. Like I said, I’ve made it my mission to make their lives miserable. Only now, I have teammates.

 

Today is the last day of filming and right now, everyone’s backstage having a cup of coffee and mingling. Is it just me or are the male celebrities gawking at me? I mean, when it comes to keeping my clients safe, I usually stay close but try to blend in at the same time. It’s like being their shadow. I must be a damn hot shadow for them to notice me...

 

“Dina sshi, you don’t have to try very hard you know.” DaeSung says as he approaches me with a smile. Damn that smile, it’s so damn infectious!

 

“What are you talking about?” I say with a raise of my eyebrow.

 

DaeSung laughs. “You don’t have to bat your eyelash and flick your hair for them to notice you. Just stand there quietly.”

 

“What?” I say incredulously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

 

“Really? So you haven’t noticed 2AM and MBLAQ staring at you?”

 

“I’m sorry, what? It’s not 2AM right now. It’s actually time to go home.”

 

“You’re kidding!” DaeSung gasps.

 

“What?”

 

“You don’t know who 2AM and MBLAQ are?”

 

“Apart from one being a time and the other God-knows what, no I don’t. Am I supposed to?” I say, confused.

 

“Yeah! They’re like... famous! Almost as famous as Big Bang!”

 

I smirk. “Are you sure they’re almost as famous? Maybe they’re even more famous than Big Bang.”

 

“Hey! I resent that! Big Bang’s the best group that ever existed.” DaeSung says smugly.

 

“Yeah... whatever. Where is SeungRi? He was standing right there talking to that girl and now he’s nowhere to be seen!”

 

“Just relax. He’ll appear as soon as he gets her number.” DaeSung says as he sits on the nearby bench.

 

Sighing, I take the spot beside him. “Has he always been such a... ert?”

 

“Yeah... that’s just who he is. It’s like... he’s always trying to prove something because he’s the maknae.”

 

“So he’s proving himself by being a ert?”

 

“He just really likes... girls. Especially nunas.”

 

“Wow... I guess that’s a relief.”

 

“It is?”

 

“Yeah. That means, he won’t hit on me.” I say, relieved. I like the fellow, but I find his fascination with girls a bit stalker-ish and it sure as hell freaks me out.

 

“Why wouldn’t he?” DaeSung asks with a laugh. “You’re beautiful. I’m sure he’s thought about it.”

 

“You said he likes nunas.”

 

Realization finally dawns on DaeSung and his jaw drops open in shock. I roll my eyes. I can literally see the light-bulb lighting over his head. Some people are just too slow for my fast paced brain.

 

“You’re younger than him?”

 

I decide its best to ignore that question. I mean, he doesn’t have to know I’m younger right? Age is just a number. I bet I can kick more than him. I’m pretty sure I can also defend myself much better than he can. Such a waste really... I mean, his muscles! Are they just for show? I gotta teach him some martial arts soon...

“Where is this ert?” I said as I search around. “If he’s not here in 2 minutes, I swear I’ll...”

 

“Chill Dina sshi. SeungRi is here at your service.” SeungRi says before breaking into a smile. “C’mon, we better go back home.”

 

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do before you ran off looking for things to f... Mmmm!” I yelled into DaeSung’s hands. What the... How dare he touch the most sacred part of my face?

 

“I don’t think you should finish that sentence, Dina sshi.” DaeSung says before slowly removing his hands while SeungRi looks confused, unable to comprehend the situation. “SeungRi... he’s still quite delicate in that sort of matter.”

 

“Delicate?” I say in disbelieve. “Yeah right.” I narrow my eyes at both of them, all the while rubbing my lips of DaeSung’s  germs. Goodness, I have absolutely no idea where he touched before touching my sacred and pure lips! Just because we’ve become almost best buds does not give him the rights to touch me whenever and wherever he wants!

 

“Hmmph! Let’s just go.” I say as I them to the car, my eyes ever watchful. I gotta make sure nothing jumps out at them, although I know there’s a small part of me that wished for it. I mean, when in the world am I going to put my karate skill to good use? That would probably be never, the little voice in my head tells me. Hmm, that’s true... The threat they got is so childish I’m still wondering why daddy hasn’t called me back to the headquarters.

 

Once in the car, I decide to attack them with questions about their hyungs. Hey! A girl’s gotta do her research right? If I want to at least make guarding them worthwhile, I gotta have some fun... on the expense of their hyungs of course...

 

“So guys...” I say after clearing my throat.  “I couldn’t help overhearing the song you guys sang about your hyungs. Are the lyrics... true?”

 

Please, oh please say it’s true! I need the dirt on them before I go completely insane!

 

DaeSung laughs while SeungRi nods his head. “Yup, all true. Man, hyungs are gonna be so pissed at me once they hear it!”

 

“So erm... it’s true then? About YoungBae never dating before?” I ask curiously. I find that slightly hard to believe. Yes, the fellow is short but at least he has style. Not to mention, his voice is... remarkable. Not that I would ever tell him that of course. I would rather scratch my own eyes out than tell him he has nice voice.

 

SeungRi wriggles his eyebrow with a grin. “Why? Are you interested?”

 

I make a face as I gag. Seriously, the stuff this guy says. Does he even think before he says them? Me? With... YoungBae? Dating? I shudder in fright. I think I just threw up in my mouth...  

 

“SeungRi, stop being ridiculous.”

 

“Aww... but Dina sshi, it’s not that bad.” DaeSung interrupts before laughing. Trust this guy to continue the topic. Doesn’t he know this isn’t about me? I need the dirt goddamnit! “I mean, hyung is extremely good looking. Not to mention, he can make you fall in love with him when he so much as smile...”

 

I look at him weirdly. “Are YOU by any chance in LOVE with him DaeSung? I mean, that’s cool. I totally support gay marriage.”

 

“Err...” DaeSung says, at a loss of what to say.

 

I pat his arm reassuringly. “It’s ok DaeSung sshi, I’ll keep it a secret. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way...”

 

SeungRi snickers. “DaeSung hyung doesn’t like YoungBae hyung. He likes a female trainee at our company...”

 

“Really?” I say with extreme interest while DaeSung blushes, his face turning the color of my red sweater. “Hmm... interesting.”

 

“SeungRi, shut up.” DaeSung mutters, feeling embarrassed.

 

“Anyways...” I cut in, not wanting to continue any longer with the conversation. It’s interesting, but I don’t need any dirt on DaeSung. He respects me the most. I shouldn’t do that to my ally... Although, I swear if he by any chance betrays me, I might just blackmail him with that piece of valuable information...

 

“What about SeungHyun? You say he acts? Is he any good?”

 

SeungRi shrugs. “Ehh... he’s ok. But I’m pretty sure if I was offered that role he got in that war movie, I would’ve done a much better job...”

 

I laugh. Boy, this guy sure is something... DaeSung’s right. He’s always competing against the older members. Maybe I should cut him some slack...  oh goodness! I inwardly smack myself. What is happening to me? Have I gone... dare I say it... SOFT? I have these... weird warm feelings for... THEM?

 

“Ok ok, next fellow. Your leader... you know what, just between us, although I don’t mind if you plan on telling him, his sense of fashion is horrendous! I mean, pink pants? No wait, I can still accept that. But his blond hair? Is the guy for real? Blond is so not the colour for Asians!” I exclaim, nodding my head furiously as if that can somehow strengthen the argument.

 

“But... GD hyung looks good in anything though.” SeungRi says thoughtfully. “That’s why I always steal his clothes.”

 

“Oh God! Don’t tell me YOU have feelings for him?” I say in exasperation. I’m never going to be able to carry out my plan of making their life miserable if these two dorks don’t stop admiring their hyungs! What is this? Some inferiority complex?

 

“Dina sshi... why do you hate them so much?” DaeSung asks timidly from beside me.

 

“Well, you’re lucky I’m spending time with you guys. If not, I’d hate you too...”

 

“But why?”

 

I sigh. I hate his persistent yet logical and totally makes sense question. “I don’t know why ok? It’s fun... especially when I fight SeungHyun and JiYong.”

 

DaeSung and SeungRi smile at each other, a knowing look on their faces. Wait a minute, I know that expression. They are going to say something I don’t want to hear. Quickly, I fumble for the lock. But damn it, the car is still moving!

 

“Sounds like you enjoy fighting and arguing with them...” DaeSung says with a grin.

 

“Ooooo... someone has a crush on the hyungs! Can’t wait to go and tell them!” SeungRi shouts before literally jumping out of the car, bolting for the stairs up to their apartment.

 

“I swear, if he so much as says anything ridiculous, I will punch him into the next century.”

 

“Ahh...” DaeSung says, his stance almost as if he was preparing to bolt as well. “You know that is virtually impossible and I bet you, he already told them.” He continues before running up the stairs.

 

“Yah! Losers!” I shout as I too, run up the stairs like a crazy idiot. Oh goodness, these good for nothing jerks have literally turned me into an idiot...

 

I take a deep breath once I am in front of the door. I stop short and bite my lip nervously, although I assure you, I do not have the slightest clue why I’m nervous... Pressing my ear against the door, I try to listen to any sound of stupid loser’s voice. Hmm... Apparently he hasn’t said anything yet...

 

“Oof!” I say, stumbling backwards when the door suddenly opens.

 

YoungBae raise his eyebrow questioningly, a smirk on his face. “What are you doing there Dina sshi?”

 

Straightening up, I try to peer over his shoulder, only to see four more smirking faces staring right back at me, the largest one being on their lame leader. What a pathetic excuse of a leader! I swear, he puts other leaders to shame...  But oh crap, I’m screwed... Think Dina! You gotta say something~

 

“I was uhh.... guarding.” I say trying my hardest not to look at the snickering face of YoungBae. Ok guarding? That was the best I could come up with? I’m starting to lose my touch...

 

“That’s right!” JiYong shouts gleefully from inside. “That’s what you should have been doing since you first came here lady!”

 

“Oh I’ve had enough!” I yell before running into their living room. I would’ve reach and strangle the living daylights out of that good-for-nothing fellow if not for YoungBae holding me back.

 

“YAH!” I scream as I struggle in his arms. Oh my God! It pains me to the core to say this but his arms feel so.... GOOD. Mortified at my insane thought, because yes, I have gone insane, I kick and thrash so violently that I manage to somehow kick his erm... you know. Yikes! He really shouldn’t underestimate me.

 

“OW!!!” He groans in pain as he sinks to the ground, clutching his... you know. I feel... hmm, I don’t know how I feel. Guilty? Hey, at least he let go of me... right?

 

“Congratulations Dina sshi, now not only can’t he date, he probably can’t get married and have kids as well...” JiYong says when he passes by me to help YoungBae to his feet.

 

“Uhh...” I say at a loss of what to say. Is it expected of me to apologize now? But it’s not my fault! I mean, if that stupid JiYong didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t have kicked his friend. So yeah, this is JiYong’s fault!

 

“It’s probably best if you apologize now Dina sshi...” SeungHyun says from his spot on the couch.  I turn to look at him and notice that the two younger ones are watching us like a badminton match. Their eyes moving from SeungHyun to me and wait a minute, are they holding popcorns? Where did they get popcorns from?!?

 

“It’s... No! It’s not my fault! If this blond jerk didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t have kicked YoungBae! So no, I’m not going to apologize. It’s not my fault.” I say as I cross my arms obstinately. No way, I’ve never apologized to anyone before, and I’m not going to start now, especially not to them.

 

“My fault?” JiYong shrieks as he looks at me incredulously, his face mere inches from mine. “If YoungBae can’t have kids in a few years, I’m holding you fully responsible!”

 

I huff in his face angrily before stomping my way to the bedroom where I unfortunately share with SeungHyun. Grabbing the nearest pillow, I yell into it as loud as I can. Yup, I AM officially insane. Once I get out of this job, I better check myself into a mental hospital and get a full check-up. I seriously need it. These boys, they just don’t appreciate and respect my work! Ok, granted that I haven’t really done much in their favour, I’m still keeping a lookout. A job’s a job! And besides, if I don’t do it properly, I’ll never hear the end of it from dad. I don’t want my salary reduced... or worse, getting fired! But honestly though, is this even worth it? I am so drained!

 

I sigh in exhaustion. I miss the office. I haven’t seen Bobby in almost a week now. I’m pretty sure dad won’t let him leave the building. He hasn’t even texted me once! These boys are giving me such a hard time! Especially their stupid leader! I can’t believe SeungRi thinks I have the hots for him! I mean, have you even seen him? He’s so... skinny! Even I have more meat than him! And I’m perfectly fit I tell you!

 

“Crap...” I mutter under my breath when I hear someone knocking on the door. “Come in.”

 

“Hey...” YoungBae smiles before placing himself next to me on the bed.

 

“How’s your...err...” I say awkwardly. What else was I supposed to say?

 

“Oh erm... It’s been better...” He replies, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

 

“YoungBae...” I start as I walk towards the window. “I’m... sorry.”

 

“I thought you said it’s not your fault.”

 

“It’s not... but I doubt your jackass of a leader has apologized.”

 

YoungBae laughs. Goodness, his voice... I shudder in fright. What’s happening to me?!?

 

“No, he hasn’t.” He replies. “But err... you guys sure fight a lot.”

 

“I can’t stand him!” I say, throwing my hands in the air in frustration. “He’s so irritating.”

 

He raises his eyebrow at me. “Are you sure it’s not... ?”

 

“HAH?” I say incredulously. “Have you lost your mind?!?”

 

He shrugs. “Oh well, you know. I’ve seen it in the movies... How the hate turns into love.”

 

“I... I don’t hate him.” I finally say after I’ve gathered my thoughts together. What are all these people saying? First SeungRi and DaeSung, and now him? Have they drunk something bad? “And I sure as hell don’t love him...”

 

“You don’t? Really?”

 

“Get out.” I say before pushing him out the door. “And if you dare tell anyone about my apology, so help me God I’ll kick you again!” I add, shutting the door in his face.

 

Argh! My mind is so... dishevelled! And so is my hair! I stare in horror at my reflection. Is that me? Goodness, ever since I came to this hellhole, I’ve become this bad? Ok, shower is all I need... Yeah, a good, long, hot bath.

 

And then something unexpected and totally humiliating thing happens. Something that I’m sure was going to happen sooner or later... I was of course, rummaging through my suitcase for something to wear... I had a momentary relapse and I sort of forgot who else I share the room with... And said person just so happen to walk in on me... in my underwear. Oh, the horror!

 

Horrified, I stare at him as he stares back, his mouth wide open. Ok, he is plainly checking me out. Should I be flattered or humiliated?

 

...Oh my God! I’m in my underwear in front of SeungHyun!