It feels like the night outside the window

One time too often

I looked back and couldn't remember

I need to search my memory for them and their happiest places

And those who have been in my life

And the places I've been

Please wait

-

It’s a cold night. The boy on the park bench shivers slightly, curling into himself to hide from the harsh winds. Luhan’s all alone, but he can’t exactly say that he’s lonely. He’s simply there.

Luhan doesn’t quite know what he’s doing out here. Somehow, no matter what the weather, no matter what the day, he always finds himself sitting by himself on this park bench in the evening, just in time to see the sun set. Maybe it’s the empty feeling he has in his heart. He feels like he’s searching for something, but he doesn’t know what. He just feels empty.

He sighs, getting to his feet to trudge home. He doesn’t understand why he keeps doing this. All it achieves is a sense of wasted time and a heavy heart.

He’s just brushing off his pants when he feels a sudden wave of cold envelop him as the sunlight shining down on him is blocked. He squints up, staring at the figure responsible for the sudden lack of warmth, and finds himself gazing into a set of deep golden eyes. He blinks at the tall person blankly for a moment, before leaning in slightly. “Are those contacts?” he asks curiously, before blushing slightly at his lack of brain-mouth filter. The person simply laughs, a low chuckle rumbling from his throat.

“I don’t know, do they look like contacts?”

His voice is deep, with a pleasant softness to it. Luhan scrunches his nose slightly.

“I-I don’t know. They’re very pretty, though.”

The golden-eyed stranger smiles at him.

“I just came over to ask if you were okay. I noticed that you come here every day, and was concerned.”

Luhan backs away slightly from the stranger, flinching slightly as he moves out from under the tall man’s shadow and back into the range of the harsh dusk sunlight.

“How did you know that? A-are you a stalker? I know wushu!” he says warily, voice growing louder as he holds his hands up in a defensive stance. The tall man chuckles, eyes twinkling.

“I just like to walk through the park in the evenings, don’t worry.”

“O-oh.”

Luhan lowers his hands, feeling foolish as his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, and the man laughs once again.

“Don’t worry about it.” he says kindly. “I’m Sehun. Oh Sehun. Pleasure to meet you.”

Luhan takes the hand that’s offered to him, jerking slightly at the shiver that runs to the tip of his spine when he touches Sehun’s hand.

“I’m Luhan. Nice to meet you too.”

There are a few moments of comfortable silence and Luhan stares as the beams of the sun shimmer on Sehun’s face, giving him a pleasant amber glow.

“So, Luhan. I was about to go grab a coffee, would you like to accompany me?”

Sehun asks after a pause, smiling good-naturedly at Luhan, and Luhan blushes slightly.

“S-sure.”

And Sehun and Luhan walk side by side, bathed in the glow of the warmth sun. They talk about their dreams, their lives, their hopes. After all these years, Luhan has someone to talk to. And Luhan might not be lonely, but he thinks that having someone by his side is a lot nicer than being alone.

-

When Luhan wakes the next morning, he feels lonely for the first time. It’s an odd feeling, unfamiliar to him. It’s like a candle had been lit in the room room that is his life for the brief time that he had been able to converse with Sehun. The room hadn’t been too dark before, but after the candle was lit and then smothered soon after, Luhan realised how much brighter it could have been. It’s an odd feeling that has left him with a sense of emptiness. He shakes his head slightly, heading to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast.

It’s a slow morning, one for burnt toast, pulpy orange juice and watching the sun rise. It has become a habit of Luhan’s to gaze at the sun, at its intense golden glow. He’s intrigued by it. By its ability to go down every night to be replaced with darkness and still rise every morning, as bright and warm as ever. It enthralls him, and he wishes that he possessed the same determination.

He leaves his house with a smile on his face that morning, clutched in his hand a note containing a messily scrawled phone number. He smiles shyly to himself as he wonders how Sehun managed to slip it into his coat pocket without his knowledge. It leaves a little warm feeling in Luhan’s chest that Luhan tries to fight off, because he knows that once the warmth is gone, he’ll be left feeling colder than ever.

Luhan has always tended to worry too much about the future instead of living in the now, and these new emotions are scaring him.

-

It’s lunchtime when Luhan gets the first message from Sehun.

From: Sehun

Had a good day? :)

Sent 01:16pm

Luhan finds himself angry that he can’t keep the smile off his face. He knows he shouldn’t be so happy over talking to another person, but it’s been so long, and it’s a nice feeling, knowing that there’s someone out there thinking about him.

To: Sehun

Good, how about you?

Sent 01:18pm

His fingers shake slightly as he hits the send button. It disgusts him.

From: Sehun

Great ^^ Wanna get coffee again today?

Sent 01:18pm

The response is quick, straight to the point, and Luhan finds himself melting just like that, in a heartbeat.

To: Sehun

Sure

Sent 01:19pm

It seems that the phrase is growing on Luhan, as he realises that was his exact response from last time Sehun asked.

The rest of the day is spent just waiting for the evening, waiting to see Sehun again. Luhan knows very well that it’s pathetic, but he can’t help this feeling blossoming in his heart, warmth spreading like wildfire to the tips of his fingers.

The night is just as calming as the last, and they trudge through the park once again, steam from their drinks spiralling up into the air wispily where it dissolves into nothingness.

Luhan stares up in wonder, watching them dissipate with sparkling eyes. He always had been intrigued by things that no one else seemed to be bothered about. From childhood, he had been very curious and inquisitive, asking about things that others deemed unneeding of an explanation. Some find it annoying, but Sehun simply gives him an odd smile, a sparkle in his eyes.

It’s gratifying.

-

Luhan finds himself meeting up with Sehun the next evening, too. And the evening after. And for many more. He finds that he doesn’t mind it too much.

Sehun laughs one day as they’re walking along the sidewalk that Luhan has all but etched into his mind by now, brick-by-brick.

“What are you going to do when you get sick of coffee with me?” he asks Luhan amusedly as he takes a sip from his coffee. He’s right, they have been drinking coffee every night for the last week or so, but Luhan simply shrugs.

“I’ll order a hot chocolate.”

It’s a passing statement, but Sehun blinks at him, and Luhan realises that he means it wholeheartedly. He doesn’t really care what he orders, as long as he has this opportunity to walk with Sehun.

The tall man fixes his golden eyes on Luhan with an unreadable expression, his steps slowing down slightly.

“Is that so?”

Luhan nods, trying not to let his gaze falter under Sehun’s unwavering one.

The soft yellow sunlight casts shadows on Sehun’s cheekbones, and Luhan swears that it’s not just the light, Sehun really is glowing. His golden eyes shift to Luhan’s, and he tilts his head slightly, swallowing.

“Well... I know it’s not exactly hot chocolate, but would you… would you be willing to have dinner with me tomorrow?”

Luhan blinks at him cluelessly for a few moments, opening and closing his mouth pointlessly.

“Wha-like a date?” he asks bewilderedly, and Sehun blushes slightly.

“If you’d like,”

Their steps have slowed down to a complete still by now, and Luhan looks up at Sehun with wide eyes.

“I… I’d like that. I’d like it a lot.”

He looks down, a slight red tint covering his cheeks, and Sehun smiles slightly, shoulders slumping in relaxation.

They walk all the way back in slightly awkward silence, but not the unpleasant kind. The sweet, warm kind where both are staring at the ground in silence, trying to hide their shy smiles from each other.

When they reach the end of the pathway, a few metres from Luhan’s house, the smaller finally finds the heart to look at the amber-eyed man nervously.

“So… see you tomorrow?” he asks timidly, and Sehun observes him for a few moments before stepping forward, swallowing him in a warm hug that smells of cinnamon and home.

“Yeah,” he whispers quietly into Luhan’s shoulder. “Tomorrow.”

And then he’s stepping backwards with a sheepish smile on his face, giving Luhan a small wave before turning to trude back down the path, and Luhan is left feeling cold and warm and tingly all at the same time as the hints of a smile ghost across his face.

Luhan has always tended to worry too much about the future instead of living in the now, and he’s scared that these feelings aren’t going to be good for him.

-

The date is beautiful and awkward and perfect in every way imaginable.

It contains all the cliches that Luhan thought he’d never experience, with Sehun knocking at his door at six with a denim button up that’s folded to the elbows, a bouquet of flowers and a shy smile.

The average male might have been offended at being offered flowers for a date, but Luhan finds himself blushing profusely as he accepts them from Sehun, unable to keep from beaming.

They walk to the car with an awkward distance between them, before Sehun finally decides to take Luhan’s hand in his own and interlace their fingers. Luhan smiles to himself bashfully as their interlocked hands swing between them.

The restaurant is quaint and homely and undoubtedly Sehun. The chairs and tables are a deep chestnut brown, with antique paintings of knights and meadows adorning the cream walls. The waiters welcome them with friendly smiles and bows and lead them to a cute little table for two in the corner, cutlery gleaming under the dim lighting. Luhan is touched that Sehun went to this much effort for him, unable to even meet Sehun’s gaze.

“Luhan?” Sehun mutters concernedly.

“Do you not like it? I’m sorry, I know it’s a little old-fashioned, but I promise that the food is really nice, an-”
Luhan cuts him off with a laugh that chokes into a soft sob.

“No, no, nothing of the sort,” he mumbles, ducking his head embarrassedly so that Sehun doesn’t see the tears that blur his vision. It’s humiliating, but Luhan is just swayed by how unreal everything seems, after all this time of being self-dependant. It’s indescribable to have someone do something for him after all the years of taking care of himself. He laughs again.

Sehun tilts his head too look at Luhan’s face, and panics when he sees the tears that stain the smaller man’s cheeks.

“No, oh my god, please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to upset you, we can go somewhe-”

Luhan shakes his hand, brushing away Sehun’s words.

“No, Sehun. It’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. Just… thank you. For this. For everything.”

Sehun blushes slightly, averting his gaze.

“Don’t worry about it,” he mutters awkwardly, and Luhan can’t help but giggle at how stiff the golden-eyed man is.

“Seriously, Sehun, I’m just really, really happy,” he chuckles, beaming at him widely.

Before there’s space for any more awkwardness, the food arrives, and they’re both distracted again.

The meal is delicious, and it passes by in comfortable silence but for the clinking of cutlery. When they leave the restaurant, it’s grown dark, and the stars twinkle from above, little specks of silver in the distance above their heads.

Luhan finds himself being led by Sehun to a little balcony near where the car is parked, where they overlook the trees of the forest that borders the town. The canopy is eerie at night, shrouded in mist and silence but for the occasional shrieks of night birds. It possesses an ethereal beauty. Sehun turns to him, smiling softly as he takes Luhan’s hand, golden eyes shimmering in the moonlight, and suddenly the beauty of the forest pales in comparison to Sehun.

“Thank you for today,” Sehun says into the silence, hand warm and gentle against Luhan’s. The smaller simply blushes, eyes timidly flickering up to meet Sehun’s.

“I should be thanking you,” he says quietly.

The moonlight is pale white but Sehun still seems to be almost glowing gold.

“I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.” Sehun whispers, and Luhan nods enthusiastically, eyes wide.

They both gaze over the viewing area in silence for a few moments, admiring the gentle sway of the trees with the wind. Luhan has to resist to urge to just turn around and stare at Sehun because there’s a strong tension in the air, and no one seems to be mentioning it.

Sehun steps towards his slightly, hand digging into his pocket to pull out something small, and Luhan sees a glint of gold. He looks at Sehun curiously, and Sehun simply gives him a small smile, turning him around by the shoulders so that his back is to him.

Luhan feels something cold against his neck, and the slight clink of metal against metal, and then he’s being turned back around to face Sehun. The taller studies him intently, before nodding his approval. Luhan’s hand creeps up, reaching to finger the golden angel wing charm that Sehun has just fastened around his neck. He smiles slightly, looking up at Sehun with admiration.

“It’s