Sungjong's POV

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If a genie would give me a single wish to grant, I’d wish to have a million more. I’d save it all up to keep us from the complexities of living apart.

I wish to travel the cities with you.

We were eighteen, finally experiencing the taste of freedom that lived in our minds. Driving along the roads of misery and mystery, we reached a cliff that showed us the lights of reality. We sat there at the back of your pickup truck letting our legs hang loose from its tailboard. With stars twinkling above us and city lights glittering before us, the mystery of wearing all black is trapped behind your evincing smile.

“I wonder how this city looks like from the sky’s perspective.” You sounded optimistic.

I uttered a sound while staring at the city shining brightly at midnight. Just as how the sun, moon, and stars comprise the universe, this place is made up with people, lights, cars, buildings, and roads beautiful enough to be called a city.

“I don’t wanna leave this place.” You pulled up your hoodie now looking like a total cryptic man.

“Hey! Stop trying to sound mysterious. I’m cringing here, mister.” I joked as I pull your hoodie back down.

“Sungjong, can’t we stay like this forever?” The atmosphere felt a lot different.

“We can.” My gaze was pinned at the scenery we were watching but I felt your eyes fixed on mine.

“We can’t.” I heard you sigh and looked away.

I turned to face you and your dark hair, pale skin, cherry-colored lips, and fine-shaped nose took me loads of self-control not to touch it. The reflection of the city was embarked in your eyes as if it was there to enlighten me.

“We’re going to age and somehow leave this place. Or, with skies blessings, have a family.” You added and took a drag on your cigarette.

I was lost in your words because they were right. We were just two reckless teenagers running away from the responsibilities life could offer. We can only say we’re living life when life finally catches us. I thought it a thousand times – you, me, and how we’re going to live.

“Myungsoo! Again?” I took your cigarette away.

“I kept reminding you to stop smoking, you .” I whispered roughly.

“Hey! I heard that!” A mouthful of smoke was bluntly expelled on my face.

“MISTER! Didn’t you know it’s rude to puff smoke on a person’s face?!” I hit your back a few times till we found ourselves laughing.

We laughed – and suddenly, it was quiet. We stayed there at the bunk of your truck till the midnight silence became our lullaby.

 

I wish to swim all the oceans for you.

We were nineteen, marking X’s on the calendar before we flee from our teenage years. We spent nights not in our own beds but on the roads. You were fond of road trips and midnight adventures that I came to love it more than you do. You like how wheels kiss the road and I like how roads lead the wheels to wonderful places. You like how smooth your steering wheel was and I like how steering wheel was designed to allow your arms rest while you drive. We loved the same thing, but loved it the different way.

Came another weekend midnight, I insisted to drive your truck.

I wanted to show you the crystal shore of the sea where the reflection of the moon makes it glow. And as soon as we got there, I didn’t know how beautiful it was to see the sea glow in your eyes. We took off our shoes and walked slowly closer to the shore.

“Thank you, Sungjong!” Your lips arched for me.

I can’t help but curve my lips with that contagious smile of yours.

“For what?” I let out a small chuckle.

You grabbed my hand and pulled me quickly. I found myself smiling as we ran through the shore to witness yet another lovely scenery.

“For showing me this!”

In that moment, we felt alive. Our feet were screaming pain from the rocks situated near the shore but it didn’t matter to me, neither to you – it was too wonderful to let pain us up. You had smiles on your face and I had fun watching you radiate. Your radiance seemed like a moon that lights up through the dark.

And I realized, all this time, you were my moon.

You sat there beside me with semi-soaked hair and keen gaze. I didn’t know which was more beautiful – you or the scenic picture in front of us. We let our toes be kissed by the shallow sea wave and we continued throw rocks lightly at the sea.

“Growing up is scary. I wanna stay like this forever.” Then you screamed, “AAAAAAHH THIS IS THE LIFE!”

“You’re overreacting.” I laughed sarcastically.

You let out a sigh of relief. “I’m happy.”

It was amazing how your words made my heart skip a beat. Your voice was the world’s only voice that lets me know everything will be okay. I listened to your breathing that followed the rhythm of the rippling water until stillness ate the midnight away.

 

I wish to reach the stars for you.

On Friday, we somehow became a part of this blind date thing our blockmates planned. They were all saying it’s such a shame to waste our last year in a university doing all the nerdy stuff. And I honestly thought you’d hate it – but you didn’t.

We were twenty, scared of growing up. And all we did is go for a drive, attend university, and repeat. I’ve never even imagined to be sitting in front these ladies in a karaoke bar.

Everyone clapped to the beat as you danced along the hype kpop song made famous by this group called INFINITE. Your body was groovy and it was a good point to catch these ladies’ attention. Thanks to your small performance, I didn’t die of boredom. Then a soft melody started to play and a mysterious voice suddenly popped to give us all a show. It gave me goose bumps. I turned my head and it was yours. The voice that sounds like safety and protection fits the melody really well and left everyone in the room speechless.

We were all drinking and I noticed a girl stealing glances at you. She seemed all pretty with long blonde hair, ripped jeans, and tight top. She looked like a typical teenage trouble that appears in American movies.

It ended half past eleven - just the perfect time for our usual midnight drive.

“Hey, I’ve got a date tomorrow! Damn, she’s so hot.” You glanced at me smiling like a little kid while you coolly rest your hand on the steering wheel.

“You have to help me dress up, okay?” Just as how kids wait for Santa Claus during Christmas, you look just as excited.

“Alright, alright. Myungsoo, you gotta keep your cool. Jeez.”

I wasn’t surprised about how fast you pick up girls. I mean, you were the “IT” boy since high school and girls fall head-over-heels for you.

They say it’s dangerous to fall in love. It’s even more dangerous when you assume you’re falling out of love. Every time you introduce me to a girl you like, I always smell trouble. You deserved much better than women in short shorts and tight tops.

“Didn’t you get a date too? They’re sooo your type.”

“What a joke.” I chortled.

I rolled down the window as I stare at the dark sky. There were no stars. I felt your gaze directed at me as you rolled the window back up.

“If you want to catch a cold, you can roll it back down. Your choice.” I liked how you sounded so concerned because all this time, you never let me feel left out – not even once. And I liked it.

 

I wish to plant a garden for you.

We lay on the grass at the park that barely even visited by people. You were there next to me with swelling eyes and red nose. “That wrench , she broke up with me.”

We were twenty-one, ers for love. It wasn’t your first breakup but it was your first to get dumped. You, as the mysterious too-cool-for-you type of guy, were the one who always dumps girls and never the guy who cries his all might.

“Maybe she didn’t love you as much as you did.” And maybe, she doesn’t love you at all.

“Bull.” You rest your arm on your eyes to hide your tears.

“Say, Sungjong…” You cleared your throat.

“…say we’re the only ones in the planet, would you still stay by my side?”

On a gloomy Saturday night, your words felt different. You left me speechless for a second and I didn’t know what to do.

“Hah! What a funny man. Do you really love me that much?” I laughed and I thought it was funny but when I met your gaze, it felt true.

For five seconds, there was silence.

Then you laughed.

I laughed.

“Man, I’ll meet a girl a lot hotter than her. And you have to stay by my side to help me dress up. You know I only know how to pair black and black.” You hit me with your shoulders and you were laughing. There’s nothing funny but you kept on laughing until your eyes shed tears. And there, you were crying.

You kept on whining about how was it such a waste for her to dump you, how you kissed her good bye, how you take her home safely, how expensive flowers are, and how messed up you are. In your world, I was the soil, you were the grass, and she was a flower.

“Get up.” I first stood up and offered my hand to help him get up.

“Get up and show the world that you can start over again –that it wasn’t a big thing.” I wanted to cheer him up.

“What if it was?” And with your words, I knew you loved her truly.

“Damn, Myungsoo! Stop being a cry baby! You can just look for a girl again and I’ll help you dress up so you will never get dumped for the second time.” I reached for his hand and pulled him up.

“Hey, that’s my Sungjong!” You caressed my hair roughly and wrapped your hand around my shoulders. But I still see tears.

On a gloomy Saturday night, I didn’t understand you – nor myself. I can’t find the meaning behind your words and it remained a mystery.

 

I wish to be your gasoline.

Years had passed and we still have it – the fun, midnight adventures, and cosmic discoveries. Only if I have known you’re going to be a pretty decent money maker, I should’ve asked you to buy me a brand new car than accepting your old truck. Isn’t it a little shameful to pass down what you once had?

“Hey, it might be old but it’s manageable!” You said proudly.

“What a shameless .” I punched your arm and there we found ourselves sparring.

“So, I’ll see you on Sunday.” You asked me while you dodge my punches.

“I’ll see.” I ducked and counterattacked.

“Ayye, don’t be like that. I already marked your calendar.”

Sidestep. Punch.

“Ow!” My punch was light but you shouted pain so I called it out.

“You’re weak.” I let out a small laugh.

“Sunday.” You smiled and I knew you were faking it.

“Alright! Jeez.”

It’s Friday midnight and I drove your truck – our truck. Midnight owls driving along the midnight road with midnight gasoline under the midnight sky. It’s wonderful to think how long we’ve been out and about and how much longer would you stay to be my moon. I kept on driving without knowing our destination but we didn’t care because what matters most is we’re both here. We’re twenty-six, still pretty reckless adults.

I stopped at some deserted route in a spot where we can see silhouette mountains and musing stars. You sat there beside me at the bunk of our truck with dreamy eyes and genuine smile. You’re in love.

I puffed my cigarette and expelled the smoke.

“Hey!” You hit my hand and I dropped my stick.

“Things do completely turn around, huh? You always took my cigarettes away before and it’s such a waste of money so I quit it.”

You’re right, things change.

 “Hey, Sungjong. Honestly…” You laid your back down and I felt your embarrassment.

“…I didn’t give this truck because it’s a trash-“

“-You gave it to me to keep our memories alive, isn’t that right?” I cut you out. I lay next to you so I’d hear you breathing.

Our shoulders brush and we kept still. I thought of the things we did together and there’s so much meaning to everything we did. We both can’t afford to lose each other for there’s no one else who can handle our messed up selves. We fought the same battle in a different way. We learned to love the thing the other one loved and hate the same. As much as I think about it, you’re like a gasoline that fuels up my affection. You let me do things I never thought of doing and I end up being too consumed. But sometimes it can be so dangerous that somehow I end up burning.

And so we spent the night extra special – no sleeping, just talking under the sky full of stars. We wasted our saliva over tales we knew since Kindergarten that I never knew was deep to talk over. We laughed together until the sun comes greeting us.

 

I wish you happiness.

It’s Sunday night, an after party, and everyone’s dancing. People got their energy maintained even though it’s already super late. And you – you didn’t want to lose. You gave everyone a show with your A+ dancing skill which, by the way, was much better than what you did on our first group blind date on college.

“Let me go get an air.” I mouthed. Like a little child who got the present he always wanted, you look just as happy so I made my way out of the scene without disrupting you from your little performance.

 I went for a drive to get some air and though it hasn’t been that long, I missed you. All I did was drive and regret the feelings I’ve been hiding all this time. Drive along the roads of misery back when we were eighteen. I drove in circles and ended up at the cliff we first get to hang. It felt nostalgic.

Tonight’s the first midnight I drove without you. A storm formed in my eyes streaming tears down my cheeks. It was glued at the city that we both once loved. I wanted to keep this picture forever – the beautiful scenery I first get to view after witnessing the one I never imagined to be this tormenting.

And so I got back to driving with the windows down. I let the midnight breeze wipe my tears away while sitting in silence wishing to turn back time. But no matter how many wishes I’d hope to save up, they’re not enough to make you mine. Because at twenty-six, the most painful scenery I viewed was you, at the altar, saying ‘I do’.

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A/N: But myungjong can't die for real, okay? Subscribe for more and upvote!! Thnx u piece of gem *v*

-koraens