No matter what happens, some memories can never be replaced. Your relationship with Kihyun was turbulent from the very beginning. You loved each other deeply yet you fought like cats and dogs. You were together for years and even lived together at one point.

“Shall we just live together?” He asked you. “Is that how you’re going to ask me to move in with you?” You raised an eyebrow.

“What do you want? A bouquet of roses? Trumpets? Should I kneel down?” He scoffed. You glared softly at him and sighed.

“Fine, i’ll move in with you.” You agreed in the end. 

You annoyed and irritated each other yet you couldn’t live without one another. Families and friends often questioned your relationship because it wasn’t normal. Before living together, you kept breaking up and getting back together again. However, deep down you both knew that you were destined to be with each other so you held on to each other for a very long time. Some days, he would be the worst person to be around with but when its a good day, you thank the heavens that you have him in his life. He’s charming, gentle, attentive and clever. You smiled as you remembered a memory...

“I love you~” he whispered to you after a long night of love making.

“You smiled and laid your head on his chest. “I love you too, Kihyun.” You replied and closed your eyes. “Of course you do.” He chuckled and your hair.

“I can’t live without you. I know sometimes I want to kill you but I’ll be lost without you really...” You admitted. You felt him kiss the top of your head.

“I’m not going anywhere baby, you’ll be stuck with me forever...” Kihyun smiled. 

When both of you started new jobs, it had a huge impact on your relationship. You complained that he was never home and he argued that you’re being self-centered. You were also particularly jealous of one of his co-workers who he became friendly with.

“I work with her! I’m not cheating on you!” Kihyun shouted. It was another heated argument.

“Then why is she constantly sending you emails and messages? At this time?” You demanded angrily. “I don’t have time for this.” He declared and walked out. 

After that, it dawned on both of you that your relationship had to come to an end. You realized that you weren’t good for each other and the relationship have completely fizzled out. You moved out as soon as possible and got your own apartment. Months later you heard from friends that Kihyun had started dating that colleague you were jealous of. “I knew it,” You sighed in disbelief and cried yourself to sleep for many nights.

One late evening, your phone rang just as you were about to get in bed. It was Kihyun.

“Hey...” He sounded very upset. 

“Kihyun.. Why are you calling me at this time?” You asked nervously. You haven’t spoke to each other for months. Your heart thumped just hearing his voice that you missed so much. “I miss you.” He whispered. Your heart skipped a beat. You wanted to tell him that you missed him too but you refrained yourself.

“Why are you saying this?” You breathed. “I will never find anyone else who will love me as much as you did.” Kihyun spoke. You clutched at your chest.

“Hello? Are you there?” He uttered after a few minutes of silence. “I’m here...” You sighed. 

“Do you still love me?” He asked. “Kihyun, don’t.” 

“Do you still love me?” He repeated. “Were not good for each other. We tried, it didn’t work. And besides you’re with someone else now.” You pressed. 

“Okay.” He hanged up. 

You didn’t hear from him for a long time after that. His parents were friends with your parents so you still kept hearing news about him every now and then. You focused on your career and moving on. A year after you and Kihyun broke up, you met someone else but you weren’t ready to give your heart away again. In fact you knew that your heart still belonged to Kihyun. But since you wanted to move on with your life, you agreed to give this guy a chance. As you prepared to leave your apartment to go on a date, your phone rang. It was Kihyun’s mom. 

“Hello~” you answered. She was crying on the other end. Your skin prickled.

“Darling, Kihyun’s gone...” Her voice shook. You gasped and dropped the phone. Suddenly all the memories, thoughts and feelings you had about and for Kihyun, all came rushing back. Your heart ached. You took a taxi to the hospital, all the while praying hard that it wasn’t true. Your parents, his parents and his girlfriend were there. “Its not true is it?” You gulped. They all looked down on the floor sullenly. Your dad took to your side and enveloped you in a hug. Later you found out that Kihyun had a sudden unexpected death syndrome. 

When you were allowed to see him, you broke down. “Kihyun..” You held his cold hand. “No...” You cried hysterically.

“You said i’ll be stuck with you forever! You jerk, why did you leave me...” You rested your head on his hand.

“You know, he never loved me.” His girlfriend said as she entered the room. You looked up at her with blood-shot eyes. “What?” 

“He often called out your name when he’s asleep. He still looked at your photographs and old letters and he never once told me that he loved me.” She sighed. You felt your heart breaking into smaller pieces. You knew that Kihyun still had your heart but you didn’t know that you still had his all this time.

“I’m sorry...” You reached out to her. Then she handed you a letter. “I found this in his drawer.” You thanked her and she left without another word. You looked at Kihyun’s lifeless body. “Jerk...” You whispered and kissed his forehead. 

You didn’t read his letter until after a week of his death. 

Baby, 

I shouldn’t have let you go that easily. I should have fought for us. You’re everything to me and I miss you every day. You’re always in my thoughts and in my dreams. I miss your kisses, your sweet embrace and your goofy smile. Why did I let you go? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through. 

But I promise you this, we may be with other people now but I know that in the end, its still going to be me and you. I know it, you’ll see. Remember that I love you with all my heart, always have and always will. 

Your Kihyun.

Its true what they say, its hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.