[Unsaid]

 

Jongin’s afraid to say it.

Kyungsoo can’t see it.

Sehun’s the only one, brave enough to show it.

 

 

Being in a relationship with Krystal was more for convenience than love, it may sound so unfair but that is what Jongin honestly feels. Of course Krystal doesn’t know about it and he doesn’t let it show. Whenever they are together, Jongin treats Krystal like his princess. Okay maybe he did love Krystal in a way but certainly not in the degree people think he does.

 

Krystal was beautiful, smart and talented plus they’ve been friends for so long, asking her out almost came out naturally. It was all those teasing and that one drunken kiss after a party that made Jongin thought how convenient it would be to be Krystal’s boyfriend.

 

Convenient; because hopefully it would stop his confusion.

 

Confusion in the form of his favorite hyung… the vocalist with the heart-shaped lips, owl-like eyes and can be murderous and cute at the same time. That one person who could easily tell what he needed even if he doesn’t say it. His hyung who is willing to take care of him even he himself was tired from all their activities. His favorite hyung that made him feel things that he wasn’t supposed to feel for the other.

 

Jongin doesn’t know what exactly it is but what he knows was that it was way past the friendship line and it scares Jongin. He feared if Kyungsoo would understand it or if Kyungsoo will accept him if he confess.

 

Krystal was his way out and Jongin’s hoping that in time, she could make the confusion go away.

 

 

It was dinnertime at the dorm, they just got back from practice and everyone immediately sat down and silently had their fill. As expected, once the beagle line was done eating… chaos ensued.

 

“Sooooo…. Is it true? Is it? Is it?” Baekhyun poked Jongin’s cheek with his used chopsticks. Jongin was still too hungry to care while Kyungsoo glared at Baekhyun in disgust.

 

“Is what true Baek?” Jongdae asked in curiosity.

 

“Well apparently our dancing machine here is dating the beautiful Jung Soojung…” Baekhyun comically wiggled his eyebrows.

 

The table erupted with teasing screams, Jongdae resorted to pulling Jongin’s shirt to urge him to answer Baekhyun’s query. Jongin pouted because honestly can’t a man enjoy his chicken in peace?

 

“Yeah, yeah we’re dating…” Jongin didn’t even bother finish chewing his food and answered them so he could go back to eating his dinner.

 

Another round of screams filled the room and instead of leaving him alone, Jongin was thrown with different questions. Jongin wanted to cry, he’s still hungry and all he wanted was to eat…why does have such nosy group mates?

 

Everyone had their attention on Jongin, nobody noticed a certain vocalist abruptly putting his chopsticks down, losing his appetite right after Jongin verbally confirmed his relationship.

 

 

Sehun had just finished taking a shower and he wanted to go study his script for his new movie while lying in bed but one look at their cluttered room courtesy of Junmyeon and Sehun knew that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate. So the next best option for the maknae was to go ask his Kyungsoo-hyung to help him with the lines.

 

There are only two people who could walk into Kyungsoo’s room without knocking and not suffer Kyungsoo’s wrath and that are Sehun and Jongin. Sehun and Jongin because according to Satan, I mean Kyungsoo himself, Sehun and Jongin are the group’s babies and they deserved to be cared for at all times.

 

So naturally, Sehun entered Kyungsoo’s room without even bothering knocking but he stopped abruptly when he saw Kyungsoo frantically wiping his tears.

 

“H-hey Sehunnie, do you need anything?” Kyungsoo tried to smile but it was no use, Sehun already saw the tears.

 

“Is something wrong hyung? Why were you crying?” Sehun was already by his side and examining his face.

 

“It’s nothing Sehun, just finished watching a sad movie…”

 

Sehun skeptically looked at the screen and saw that it was in idle mode. He grabbed the laptop and put it on the bedside table then he walked back to the door and locked it.

 

“We both know there’s no movie, now talk to me… why were you crying?” Sehun sat down beside Kyungsoo on the bed, directly facing the other.

 

“It’s nothing Sehunnie…” Kyungsoo chuckled. “Oh, it’s that your script for Catman? Need help with the lines?” Kyungsoo tried to change the subject but Sehun was having none of it.

 

“We could do that tomorrow, that’s not important right now.” Sehun threw the script at the far end of the bed. “Now, please tell me why were you crying?”

 

“Sehun…” Kyungsoo sounded almost pleading, like he just wanted the maknae to just drop the topic.

 

Sehun stared at him silently for a while, like he was thinking about something then his eyes widen after realizing something.

 

“Is this about Jongin and Soojung dating?” Sehun directly asked it.

 

“What are you even talking about, Sehun?” Kyungsoo nervously laughed.

 

“I am maybe the maknae but I am not dumb and I’m certainly not blind. Jongin had that special place in your heart; in plain words… you like him. It’s only natural that you’re hurt that he’s dating someone else.”

 

“S-Sehun…Jongin and I are just friends.”

 

“Just friend my .” Sehun scoffed. “ ‘Just friends’ don’t look at each other’s eyes like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. I always feel sorry for Yixing-hyung, god knows how many times you two made him feel like an awkward third wheel, whenever you two were too busy in your own world.”

 

“S-Sehun…” Kyungsoo wanted to say something…anything to deny what Sehun said but he was at a loss for words.

 

“Ah----Ah--- no, there’s no point in lying to me. We both know that what I said was all true. You like him but he’s dating someone else, of course it hurts…”

 

Kyungsoo fiddled with his hands, his tears were starting to gather again. Sehun lifted his face up, just in time for the first set of tears to fall.

 

“Here, let me take care of you for once.” Sehun wiped the tears and pulled Kyungsoo into a hug.

 

“Let it out Soo…it is okay to cry. I’m here, I’ll hold you…”

 

It didn’t take long until Kyungsoo became a sobbing mess. His hands were gripping Sehun’s shirt tightly while the other caressed his back in a soothing manner.

 

“I knew this will happen sooner or later and I thought I was ready for it but I’m not. I’m not. I like him and it hurts like hell…” Kyungsoo mumbled in Sehun’s shirt and the other nodded.

 

“I know hyung… I know…” Sehun softly kissed Kyungsoo’s hair, his hands tightening his hold on the other.

 

He wanted Kyungsoo to know that he was there for him… even though it hurts.

 

 

It didn’t take long for Kyungsoo to fall asleep in Sehun’s arms. The younger gently lay him down on his bed and tuck him in. Sehun stared at the sleeping vocalist, letting himself enjoy these few minutes as much as he can because he doesn’t know when he’ll get the chance again.

 

After fifteen minutes of plain staring at the other, Sehun got up from the bed and turned off the lights so Kyungsoo could sleep better. He gave the sleeping boy one last glance before slipping out of the room.

 

“Sehun? Did you just come out of Soo’s room?” Jongin rubbing his tired eyes, he was about to head to Kyungsoo’s room when it opened up and Sehun came out.

 

“Obviously…” Sehun answered, trying his best not to snap at Jongin.

 

“Uhm…okay...” Jongin was surprised by the way Sehun answered but he decided to just let it go, he was too tired to deal with the brat, all he wanted was to just be with Kyungsoo. He reached for the doorknob and was about to twist it when Sehun’s hand stopped him.

 

“What are you doing? Kyungsoo-hyung’s already asleep…”

 

“Oh, it’s okay. You know he won’t get mad at me if I bother him for a bit…” Jongin grinned.

 

“We practiced all day, hyung’s already tired. Let him rest…” Sehun almost raised his voice but was able to stop himself.

 

“Chill Hunnie, why are you so snappy anyways. Of course I want him to have his rest. Relax, I won’t be long…” Jongin winked and before Sehun could further stop him, he opened the door and immediately got in.

 

But Jongin didn’t wake Kyungsoo up for a talk, he just lay on the bed and wrapped his arms on Kyungsoo’s waist. Jongin gently nuzzled the back of Kyungsoo’s neck and stayed there with a content smile on his face.

 

Fresh tears fell on the pillows and Kyungsoo tried his best not to add more. He knows it was Jongin when his bed dipped. It’s was Jongin’s scent that he can smell strongly when a strong chest was pressed on his back. It’s was Jongin’s voice that said ‘Goodnight hyung’ right next to his ears before nuzzling his neck.

 

Kyungsoo knew it was Jongin and he just let it be, it was not the first time it happened anyways. It was actually Jongin’s habit to sneak into his room and sleep cuddled next to him when he pretends that he was already asleep and in the morning when he wakes up, Kyungsoo would also pretend to be surprised to have a snoring Jongin right next to him.

 

Kyungsoo never asked Jongin why he does it, they don’t talk about it because maybe Kyungsoo loves seeing Jongin’s face first thing in the morning. He enjoys that special habit of Jongin too much he doesn’t want the other to stop.

 

…but that night, Kyungsoo was restless, it was the first time that he badly wanted to get out of Jongin’s embrace…because it hurts…

 

 

…everything about Kim Jongin made Kyungsoo’s heart clench in pain at the moment.

 

 

 

 

Jongin didn’t notice it at first because they have different schedules, he was busy working with the choreographers for the comeback and the new concert; Kyungsoo was busy filming and recording for the new album. But that one incident at the practice room made him think if Kyungsoo was avoiding because honestly he couldn’t remember the last time they talked and that was not usual between the two of them.

 

They were having a break from practicing Monster, Jongin just got back from the restroom and when he entered the practice room, the first thing he noticed were Kyungsoo and Sehun animatedly talking to each other. He was about to walk towards them and hopefully join the conversation when he realized that Kyungsoo was asking Sehun help with the choreography.

 

Jongin halted and couldn’t help but pout as he continued to stare at the two, suddenly wondering why Kyungsoo asked for Sehun’s help and not him. Not that Sehun isn’t qualified or anything, but this is Kyungsoo we are talking about and he always, ALWAYS seeks for Jongin’s help if it comes to the choreography. Even if Jongin was busy with something, Kyungsoo would patiently wait for him to finish and then ask for his help. It had always been liked that since they were trainees, so it comes as a big question in Jongin’s head why he wasn’t Kyungsoo’s first choice this time.

 

That was when Jongin realized that he hasn’t talked to Kyungsoo for a long time. Yes, he still sneaks in Kyungsoo’s room and cuddled his way to sleep but they never talked because usually by the time Jongin makes it back to the dorm, Kyungsoo was already in deep sleep and by the time he wakes up the next day, Kyungsoo had already left for filming. Group practices only started recently and Jongin also realizes that he never saw Kyungsoo alone; he was always with the others but mostly Sehun.

 

The realizations hit Jongin all at the same time and it left him some unsettling feeling.

 

“Jongin… Jongin…”

 

Jongin finally got out of his bubble and finally noticed Junmyeon who was trying to get his attention for the past five minutes.

 

“Yes, hyung?”

 

“I was wondering if you could help with the chorus part…”

 

“Oh, okay hyung…”

 

Jongin didn’t hesitate on helping their leader and focused on where Junmyeon was having a hard time but still Jongin couldn’t shake away that weird feeling and he couldn’t help but glance at Kyungsoo and Sehun’s direction from time to time.

 

 

Kyungsoo was avoiding Jongin; it was the only solution he could think of. For once he was thankful for their packed schedule; it helped a lot with the whole ‘avoid Jongin’ thing. But there were still the nights when Jongin would sneak into his room and hugged him tightly liked he mattered in Jongin’s world. Kyungsoo was still too weak to push the other away; he still couldn’t deny Jongin because somehow he still longed for the warmth of Jongin’s body. So Kyungsoo doesn’t do anything about it, even though it continue to break his heart because their usual cuddling may mean everything for Kyungsoo, it still meant nothing for Jongin. And that was what really breaks him, because he is too weak to even save himself. He blindly endures the heartache, if it meant another night with Jongin’s arms around him.

 

His filming ended at the same time group practice started and Kyungsoo was worried if he could still keep up with avoiding Jongin. He made it a point that he was never alone and thankfully Sehun was always within reach.

 

It was another break; he was having a hard time with the timing of one of the steps so asked Sehun for some help. Normally it would be Jongin he’ll be seeking help from but not this time, he needed to stop spending time with him, he needed to stop making memories with him...hoping that with that, it would hurt less.

 

 

Jongin was dead tired when he and Junmyeon came back to the dorm. He just wanted to throw his tired body on Kyungsoo’s soft sheets and just cuddle with his favorite hyung. He was about to do just that but then when he opened Kyungsoo’s room, he instantly noticed Sehun sleeping beside Kyungsoo. Jongin scrunched his face in annoyance, why was Sehun sleeping in Kyungsoo’s room .

 

Jongin sighed dejectedly, he had no choice but to sleep in his own room all because of a certain maknae. Jongin couldn’t help but feel that Sehun snatched his cuddling privileges and it made it feel that same unsettling feeling from before.

 

If only Jongin knew that there was so much more that he was starting to lose.

 

When Jongin woke up the next day, he immediately ran to Kyungsoo’s room, hoping to finally have a talk with him but the older was no longer in his room and that was when he remembered that the vocal line have a recording schedule that morning.

 

Jongin then found the next person he wanted to see in the kitchen. Sehun…who was innocently eating his breakfast.

 

“Why were you sleeping in Kyungsoo’s room last night?” Jongin folded his arms over his chest and voice a little bit higher than usual.

 

“You and Junmyeon hyung weren’t still back and I couldn’t sleep alone so I asked Kyungsoo hyung if I could crash and sleep in his room.” Sehun answered nonchalantly.

 

“Tsch!” Jongin scoffed.

 

Sehun looked up from his bowl of cereal and found Jongin glaring at him, he quirked his eyebrows at this. Sehun straightened his back and mimicked the way Jongin had his arms over his chest.

 

“What was it to you anyways?” Sehun challengingly asked, a smirk finding its way on his mouth as he stared back at Jongin.

 

Jongin opened and closed his mouth as if to say something but he couldn’t voice it out without sounding so possessive of Kyungsoo but seeing Sehun in Kyungsoo’s room last night really didn’t feel good to him.

 

“What are you guys doing? Are you two fighting?” Chanyeol’s voice boomed in the kitchen.

 

Sehun said nothing and went back to eating his cereal while Jongin stomped his way back to his room.

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Chanyeol curiously asked the maknae.

 

“I don’t know, maybe he just woke up at the wrong side of the bed…”

 

 

It was past dinner time when the vocal line came back. Jongin immediately followed Kyungsoo to his room and locked the door after him.

 

“Why was Sehun sleeping here last night?” Jongin folded his arms in front of his chest while he rested his back on the closed door.

 

“We all know he can’t sleep alone, you and Junmyeon hyung still weren’t back so I let him stay. What’s wrong with it anyways, you do it all the time…” Kyungsoo tiredly answered, taking off his bag and throwing it on the floor.

 

Jongin was taken aback with Kyungsoo’s answer; he doesn’t understand why the whole thing was riling him up.

 

“I…I….”

 

“You what, Jongin?” Kyungsoo looked at him in the eye; he was honestly getting tired of this game.

 

“Kyungsoo hyung?” Sehun called from behind the door.

 

Jongin rolled his eyes and unlocked the door.

 

“Junmyeon told me that you’ve been whining about headache, so he asked me to get you some medicine.” Sehun hands the medicine to Kyungsoo. “And he’s staying out late again, can I sleep here again?”

 

“Yeah sure, no problem…” Kyungsoo smiled at the other.

 

Jongin stormed out of the room after hearing that, violently closing Kyungsoo’s door. Sehun and Kyungsoo looked at each other and towards the door. Kyungsoo let out an exhausted sigh.

 

“Do you want me to call him back? I can just crash in with Baek for tonight.”

 

“And what? Let you suffer from his incessant sleep kicking? No, you are too precious for that.” Kyungsoo chuckled. “Let Jongin be, it’s time he knows his boundaries.” 

 

…the same boundaries that he forced me to accept.

 

 

Jongin got more and more frustrated as days go by, he just couldn’t get Kyungsoo alone nowadays. He’s always with the other members especially Sehun and every night that he tried to sneak into Kyungsoo’s room, he kept finding it locked or with Sehun inside.

 

Sehun, Sehun, Sehun… Sehun’s constant presence around Kyungsoo was really starting to get into Jongin’s nerves. It’s because of this that Jongin couldn’t stop himself from snapping at Sehun most of the times. Jongin couldn’t help it, not when Kyungsoo barely glances his way anymore.

 

“Where are you guys going?” Jongin had just got back from practice when he bumped into Sehun and Kyungsoo.

 

“Movies…” Sehun briefly answered.

 

“I want to come too!” Jongin blurted out, not wanting to be left behind this time.

 

“Jongin, you just got back from practice… aren’t you tired already? Besides you never liked watching movies outside anyways, just go and have your rest Jongin... your injury not that fully healed.” Kyungsoo grabbed Sehun’s hands and dragged him out of the door.

 

Jongin stared at the close door with a pout, it was the first time that Kyungsoo rejected him that way and he couldn’t help but feel really hurt about it.

 

 

“Keep your eyes on the road Sehun” Kyungsoo scolded the younger but Sehun still kept on glancing back at him from time to time.

 

“Jongin wanted to come…” Sehun started and he knew Kyungsoo got what he meant.

 

“He needs his rest...”Kyungsoo sighed, looking out the window already deep in his own thoughts.

 

“He misses you, hyung”

 

“We see each other every day at the dorm, how would he miss me?” Kyungsoo snickered, still trying to avoid the real topic.

 

“You barely talk to him…” Sehun continued.

 

“Do I have to? I mean what’s there to talk about?” Kyungsoo’s voice was getting smaller; his true feelings were starting to surface.

 

“You used to talk to him about anything.” Sehun reasoned out.

 

“You know why I’m doing this. I need to stop.” Kyungsoo finally broke out, desperation and frustration weighing heavily on his heart. “I need to stop whatever stupid feelings I have for him because as long as I feel this way about him it will never stop hurting. I need to put my distance and figure out a way to get rid of these stupid feelings so I could go back to being his friend.”

 

“Your feelings aren’t stupid. Falling in love with someone isn’t being stupid.”

 

“It’s okay Sehun, it’s stupid to fall for someone who you know won’t love you back…” Kyungsoo smiled bitterly.

 

That makes two of us then.

 

Sehun wanted to say it but he knew he shouldn’t. He glanced at Kyungsoo and saw the sadness in his eyes. He reached out for Kyungsoo’s hand and gave it a light squeeze, something that says he was there for him, that he will always be there for him… no matter how much it hurts…no matter how stupid it is.

 

Kyungsoo smiled back at him and Sehun instantly knew his own pain was worth it, seeing that smile… the smile that breaks and fixes his heart over and over again.

 

Sehun let the silence enveloped them as he continued driving their way to the cinemas.

 

 

The next day, they were at the practice room for the some polishing of the routine. Break came and as usual Kyungsoo was with Sehun, discussing about something and Jongin was at the opposite side watching them.

 

Jongin was getting more and more jealous (yes, he finally admitted to himself that he was jealous of Sehun) as more time pass by. He wanted Kyungsoo’s attention, he misses talking to him.

 

When they resumed their practice, Jongin thought of something to test. It was one of the formations where he was next to Kyungsoo when Jongin suddenly yelped and clutched his ankle, acting like he hurt it again.

 

Kyungsoo was immediately by his side, concern and worry etched on his beautiful face.

 

“Jongin, is it your ankle again? Is it hurting too much? Do we have to take you to the hospital?”

 

“You still care…” Jongin whispered but is loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear it.

 

“Huh? What?” Kyungsoo asked, asking as if he didn’t knew what Jongin meant but Jongin was already grinning like a child on Christmas morning.

 

The other members who were crowding around him threw him questioning look.

 

“You okay, Jongin?” Junmyeon asked this time.

 

“I’m okay, just landed on the wrong foot.” Jongin was still grinning.

 

Everyone seemed to relax at Jongin’s answer and was about to go back to their previous places when Jongin reached out for Kyungsoo’s wrist, getting everyone’s attention again.

 

“Can I sleep in your room tonight, hyung?”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in shock, Jongin never asked for permission before and certainly not where their members could hear them but he is doing it this time and Kyungsoo wasn’t expecting it.

 

“Awwww, our nini misses his favorite hyung…” Baekhyun cooed. “Hey, I want to sleep beside Kyungsoo too!!!”

 

“Haha! You wish Baek, Soo will be kicking your out as soon as you step into his room…” Chanyeol teased.

 

“You’re right, sometimes I envy the maknaes for always having a free pass to Kyungsoo’s room…” Baekhyun pouted, going back to his previous position.

 

For the first time Kyungsoo was thankful for Baekhyun’s big mouth which took everyone’s attention away from him. Jongin was still looking at him expectantly, which only led him to giving the other a light nod before he sort of ran back to his place beside Sehun.

 

 

 Later that night, after everyone had gone back from practice, Kyungsoo was phasing back and forth in his room, he couldn’t help but feel anxious because it’s been so long since Jongin slept in his room and he honestly doesn’t know how things will end up.

 

Kyungsoo was startled when the door opened only for Baekhyun to walk into his room.

 

“Waiting for someone?”  Baekhyun was grinning and Kyungsoo wanted so much to punch it off his face.

 

“Disappointed that it’s me?” Baekhyun added.

 

“Who wouldn’t be disappointed seeing you?” Kyungsoo sassed back.

 

“Aish! Whatever Soo! Well, I’m just here to tell you that Jongin left.”

 

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything but it was evident that Baekhyun finally caught his attention. The other seemed to understand that he was waiting for more explanation, so Baekhyun continued.

 

“Jongin was already in his pajamas, he was about to enter your room but then his phone rang. He went back to his own room, got changed and left the dorm. I think it was Soojung, you know boyfriend duties…”

 

Kyungsoo just nod his head in understanding and brought his attention back on his laptop, silently praying for Baekhyun to just leave.

 

Leave before the first tear falls.

 

Of course it’s Soojung…

 

Of course, she will ALWAYS come first.

 

 

After that day, Kyungsoo went back to his usual routine which is avoiding Jongin at all cost. Of course, it was never easy, given that they spend more and more time preparing for the concert and the comeback. Kyungsoo was eternally grateful for Sehun for always having his back and saving him from those times that Jongin would try and approach him.

 

With Sehun always sticking by Kyungsoo’s side, it was no surprise that Jongin would always snap at the maknae. Kyungsoo would always apologize to Sehun about it but the younger would just shrug it off and tell Kyungsoo that he have nothing to apologize for.

 

It was that time when Jongin yelled and shoved Sehun hard causing the younger to fall on his that Kyungsoo thought he had enough of Jongin’s childish antics. It was the first time, Jongin got physical on Sehun and although Jongin looked like he regret it the instantly, he still didn’t apologize for it.

 

Kyungsoo quickly helped Sehun up before going after Jongin to give him a proper scolding.

 

“Go back there and apologize to Sehun this instant!” Kyungsoo didn’t waste time and scolded the younger as soon as he entered Jongin’s room.

 

“And if I don’t want to?!” Jongin challenged back.

 

“What has gotten into you Jongin? Why are you acting like this? Why were you always picking fights with Sehun?”

 

“Because Sehun is a brat!”

 

“Sehun had always been a brat and you’ve always been okay with it, so what changed?”

 

“I don’t mind Sehun being a brat in general but I hate it whenever he hogs up all your attention for

 himself.”

 

“Hogs up my attention? What are you even talking about Jongin?”

 

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I meant, hyung. In fact, why don’t you answer my question.” Jongin stood up and walked towards Kyungsoo, making the other back away in reflex.

 

“Why were you avoiding me, Soo?”

 

“I was not avoiding you.” Kyungsoo kept backing up until his back hit the wall of Jongin’s room.

 

“Oh really? Then why did you start locking your door, why do I barely talk to you. It’s so hard to get you alone when you used to always give me some special treatment. What changed huh, hyung?”

 

“I was just…uhm… I was just giving you some space Jongin…”

 

“Who said I needed space away from you?” Jongin’s face was so close to Kyungsoo; the other could clearly see how frustrated Jongin was.

 

“We can’t be spending our free time together, like we used to Jongin.” Kyungsoo answered still trying to keep his composure although he was seconds away from bursting because frankly, Jongin shouldn’t be asking questions like this, especially not now.

 

“Why the hell not?!”

 

“Because you have Soojung now!” Kyungsoo finally breaks.

 

“We barely have any free time, Jongin. You should be spending it with your girlfriend.” Kyungsoo tried to catch himself before he exposed his own pain too much.

 

“But hyung…” Jongin sighed and raked his hair like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

 

“Having Soojung shouldn’t have affected things between us…” Jongin’s voice faltered.

 

“We can’t help it, Jongin. That is just how things needed to be…” Kyungsoo sounded like he was convincing himself more than Jongin.

 

“Why can’t I have my best friend and girlfriend at the same time? Why do I have to cast one aside?”

 

! Friend zoned. I never knew hearing it straight from him would hurt this much.

 

Of course Kyungsoo, bestfriend is the only title you’ll ever get from Jongin’s life.

 

Kyungsoo wanted to answer Jongin’s questions but his mind was too disturbed by the sound of his shattering heart, to form a proper response.

 

“If I break things up with Soojung, would things finally get back to normal between us?” 

 

“What nonsense are you talking about now, Jongin? Why would you break things up with Soojung just because you wanted some extra attention?” Kyungsoo was now looking at Jongin in confusion.

 

“You know what? it! I don’t want to be your friend anymore, hyung!”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in shock, he certainly didn’t expect hearing that from Jongin. There’s too much pain that he was bearing now, he can’t help but feel angry.

 

“Is that it? FINE! I won’t bother you anymore! Friendship over!” Kyungsoo pushed Jongin aside and was about to walk out of his room but Jongin was quick to get a hold of him.

 

“That’s not what I meant, Hyung….”’

 

Kyungsoo stopped for a second and looked into Jongin’s eyes. The way Jongin was looking back at him woke up a glimmering hope in him, that maybe…just maybe, what Jongin really meant was something that would finally make his heart  stop hurting.

 

“Then what do you mean, Jongin?” Kyungsoo finally asked, not really sure if he could survive the answer.

 

“I…Kyungsoo… I…Hyung… I…” Jongin kept on blabbering nonsense, his eyes fixed on Kyungsoo but words wouldn’t just come out. Fear of rejection and uncertainty once again consuming him.

 

I love you, Kyungsoo. Those simple words still stuck in Jongin’s throat. Jongin doesn’t understand why it was so hard for him to just voice it out.

 

Kyungsoo continued staring back at Jongin, waiting for the other to form a proper sentence.

 

What Jongin? Do you, by any chance, love me too? That voice in Kyungsoo’s head was screaming at him, wishing, hoping, praying that what he was thinking was the same thing that Jongin was thinking.

 

“Hyung, I…” Jongin tried again, gathering up some courage from Kyungsoo’s beautiful eyes.

 

“Kyungsoo, I…”

 

A gently knock on the door interrupts them. It doesn’t take long until Chanyeol’s head peaked inside the room.

 

“Soo, your phone’s been ringing for a while now. It’s your mom…” Chanyeol raised Kyungsoo’s phone with his mom’s name flashing on the screen.

 

Kyungsoo was left with no choice but to take the call, giving Jongin one last glance before he walked out of the room.

 

Jongin’s supposed to be confession died in his throat, the same time that tiny hope in Kyungsoo’s heart disappeared.

 

 

After the call, Kyungsoo locked himself inside his room, it didn’t took long when someone knocked on it.

 

“Hyung?”

 

Kyungsoo knew who it was, he pulled himself out of his bed and unlocked the door.

 

“Are you okay?” Sehun asked him the moment he saw him. He knew what happened in Jongin’s room. He may or may not have eavesdropped.

 

Instead of answering, Kyungsoo opened his door just enough for Sehun to slide himself in before locking it back again.

 

“Tell me I’m stupid…” Kyungsoo requested but Sehun threw a confused look at him.

 

“Tell me I’m stupid to even think that he would feel the same way. Why am I so stupid Sehun? When will I learn how to stop hoping, why am I such a fool for him…” Kyungsoo raked his hair in frustration before shamefully covering his face with his hands because he couldn’t hold the tears back anymore.

 

Sehun was quick to run to his side and envelope the other in his arms.

 

“You’re not stupid hyung, if there is anyone who is stupid here…it’s Jongin.” Sehun gritted his teeth in anger, he was so done forgiving Jongin… he was so done giving Jongin a chance.

 

 

After Kyungsoo calmed down or more like cried himself out to exhaustion and letting sleep consume his tired mind and shattered heart, Sehun stormed his way into Jongin’s room. He took long strides to where Jongin was then he pulled him up by his collar.

 

“Look, I understand why you are constantly mad at me. What I don’t understand is why you just couldn’t tell Kyungsoo the truth. Why are you such a coward Jongin?! Why can’t you tell him that you love him?!?”

 

“Y-You knew?”  Jongin asked, completely ignoring the way Sehun was holding him.

 

“Of course I knew! Why do you think I’m always by his side, trying my best to make you jealous. I was giving you the push you need and that confrontation was your chance to confess but you totally blew it up at the last minute. What the hell, Jongin! Of course you don’t want to be his friend because you wanted something more!” Sehun let go of Jongin’s collar and started to calm himself down by phasing back and forth but he was so angry at Jongin at the moment, he couldn’t calm down no matter how much he wanted to.

 

Sehun faced Jongin again, this time with determination in his eyes.

 

“Well you know what, Jongin? I’m done! I’m done pushing you. I’m done giving you chances, I think I gave you more than enough. Now it’s my turn! Unlike you, I’m not a coward, I’m not gonna hold back anymore. I’m going to love Kyungsoo the way he deserves it!”

 

The thought of losing Kyungsoo instantly took up Jongin.

 

“N-No, you can’t!” He protested.

 

“Oh really? Then watch me!” Sehun smirked proudly at him before walking out.

 

 

 

…saem.riel’s note…

 

…that was not a cliffhanger, that was really the ending for the sekaisoo part of ‘love and hate’…

…and YES… I am cruel like that..bwahahahahahahahaha!

 

…suchenmin part next!!!!

…hugs and kisses to everyone!!!

...reach me on twitter... @saemriel